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Serious HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP, Post all "getting over" advice here

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emikoshirantori
post Nov 4 2014, 10:49 AM

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QUOTE(Hollow21 @ Oct 23 2014, 09:45 PM)
I just broken up.....she said she has no feel anymore.  After some attempts to ask her to stay, I think I accepted the fact to let her go although I still think of her.

But I can't help but pondering about the question of whether I did my best when she said she has no feel.  I felt like I did my best for the relationship but somehow I have this lingering feeling I did not.  For the past few days, I keep looking back at all the things I did, the gifts I gave, the places I took her, the shoulder to cry on, playing the nurse while she was sick, fetching her, helping her....felt like I did but somehow, I keep feeling I could have done more. More to tug at her heart. More to keep the sparks going.  I even asked her, did I let you down? She said no - I did my best just she has no feel anymore.  She even said she tried to keep the relationship alive but just no sparks and she gave up. With all that she said, somehow I still feel I could have saved it.  Felt like I needed just one more chance.  I know this question probably cannot be answered.  Quoting Searizeel, this is one of the "inponerable" question.  But just wondering how you guys or girls get thru this.  I know I sound unsure and maybe blaming myself, but I just need to let it out of my mind.
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Hey, I too just broken up my 12 yrs relationship with a guy that I thought he was the one but ended up he chose someone else over it. It all happened in a flash and even thou I am at my lowest point, but I still bless him with his new love. So you should cheer up and move on!
emikoshirantori
post Nov 7 2014, 12:02 PM

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QUOTE(frozenslayer @ Nov 4 2014, 02:06 PM)
Wait a minute , I remember you. You posted on the LDR thread when I was lurking around there few weeks ago. I even congratulated you sad.gif for your 12 years. This is mind-blowing to me, hope you are holding up.  ohmy.gif
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Yeah... I was so happy I thought i had everything under control and within a blink of an eye I lost everything... I am holding up fine, thank you.. but the feeling i am having is terrible
emikoshirantori
post Nov 7 2014, 12:47 PM

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QUOTE(felixmask @ Nov 7 2014, 12:11 PM)
do someting new...your terrible feeling wil gone
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I guess I will let myself rest for 2 weeks, after that is time to move on.
I still find it hard to accept... and it happened all too sudden
emikoshirantori
post Nov 10 2014, 12:07 PM

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QUOTE(frozenslayer @ Nov 7 2014, 02:33 PM)
Hey I know what you are going through ,  I have been put into that situation once before but maybe not as severe as how you have had it but i know that feeling and I am glad you are holding up. Takes time to get over it and you don't need me to tell you that! Take good care of yourself.
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Thanks, I will find my time to get over it and move on. Dragging on will only makes it worst.
emikoshirantori
post Nov 14 2014, 03:13 PM

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QUOTE(lcyeap90 @ Nov 14 2014, 02:42 PM)
Thanks Searizeel for your reply and words. This meant a lot to me.
Well, everything started off with the love between us slowly faded off/dull and then loyalty issue came in.
With frequent calls in the bill, or more explicitly, morning calls, these just lead to my trust/faith in her gets down to the hill.
Everytime if she is out of contact, my mind will creates drama and I understand this shown the level of my trust towards her.
We used to plan for our future, we were deeply in loved and we really thought the we will be one that lasted for life.
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Things may get cocky at times as every couple relationships doesnt stagnant on the top of the fine line. There are ups and downs in every relationships and it takes both of you all to overcome than to just sit there to think of it and not doing anything about it. The words - Action speaks louder than words, applies to all the couple out there who wished their relationship to work.

If she is really cheating, you better have prove before any judgement made. Our brain can be really tricky, so don't let it control you. You control it. Seeing is believing.
emikoshirantori
post Nov 15 2014, 11:15 AM

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QUOTE(lcyeap90 @ Nov 14 2014, 10:22 PM)
Well, we had communicated on the issue and I were told the loves get dull. The guy was the trigger that lead her to confirm that our loves faded off.
In fact, the number has appeared in the bill since few months ago and I was told they were just friend only.
So I given her the freedom. And this is how my trust being used.
We both broke up and now having cool off time to reconsider our relationship and whether to continue.
I am not sure about how is she and that guy thou.
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If she can be easily influence by words and not by facts, I doubt she had much feelings towards it. Talking from experience, sometimes, girls tend to find securities else where if she cant get from you, or somehow as the older generation said, it may be just puppy love. Still time to main and fool around while u r still young.

QUOTE(Searizeel @ Nov 15 2014, 02:24 AM)
emikoshirantori
This is good advice.
Anyways,
I've got 2 questions for you.

1. Do you want to save the relationship?

Or..

2. Do you want to save your love?

1. Saving the relationship
Saving the relationship will be a more selfish route. You'll be fighting
for what you want most out of her. If you're adamant on making a life
with her no matter what, then the only option you have here is to not
give up trying to sweep her off her feat and reignite your sparks together.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


2. Saving your love.
This... is the more selfless route. And you're gonna cry like mad for a long
while if you don't do this with a very sane mind and clear objective. You have
to understand why you want to do this before you actually decide to do this.
Because if you don't, then it'd be just become one huge mistake for you later.

So tread over this idea very carefully. The last thing you need is one huge
plaster called [REGRET] pasted over your shattered heart.
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


Again, I must reiterate that you really need to think this through and not
jump at it blindly. So seeing how you have that cool-off period now, I say
spend the time wisely.
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Thanks.
apparently mentioned earlier i broke off my 12 yrs of relationship from finding truth of my ex cheated on me. So now we are somewhat on the cooling stage. But trust me, the longer you drag the cooling stage, everything will fade off. If you intend to save whatever last bits of love you two have, better act as fast as you could.
emikoshirantori
post Dec 1 2014, 09:18 AM

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QUOTE(lcyeap90 @ Nov 22 2014, 01:46 AM)
So I have chosen the path to try to save the relationship. We still have some casual texts and meet up. I tried not to initiate to find her in a new day but she did it. Few days ago she invited me for a lunch which I felt surprise as she will date me out. It was just a short lunch session, but we still act like a couple. doh.gif

The next day morning after the lunch, I gave her a sudden call in the morning when the time she was driving to work. I knew she has a habit to have phone chat during the driving time. Apparently my phone shown I am in the call waiting. After a few calls, she picked up my call and told me she didn't realised the call as she put the phone in vibration mode which in fact she lied. I confront her with the call waiting stuff and we get into kinda bad mood which always happen when we discuss our issue. After few minutes of chat, she hung up my call and she continue to have another call again(my phone shown me). I do not assume who is the one she on call during our conversation thou. We had a few text afterwards and she gave me the reason "I don't want you to feel sad, that's why I did so'.

I started don't know what I am doing all these while. Is it still worthwhile for me to save the relationship? The way she lied to me was so natural and I may really believe it if my phone didn't show me the call waiting notification. sad.gif
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Its good that you are trying to save the relationship. Well, we do not know why she want to lie about the call thing but could it be that she chose to lie due to you two always argue over small matters? Or she didn't want to explain herself to you?
emikoshirantori
post Dec 15 2014, 01:58 PM

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QUOTE(mudkipryan94 @ Dec 14 2014, 10:59 PM)
I think better both also need to explained it as well ... and lie, is a serious business on relationship yo..
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True, but majority chose to lie over a matter to cover it up so that they think they can get pass it without any explanation for themselves

 

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