QUOTE(adrianck @ Apr 15 2011, 02:40 PM)
think i need to join here for leaving this section for too long....
just broke off this week, my 5 years with her is nothing compare to what she is doing now..... yeah 3rd party...
i'm trying to get over it, but it still too hard, i'm stilll bleeding in my heart while typing this.....
what makes me too hard to forget, let go, move on & heart bleeding, is due to that just 5 months ago, we aldy planning for marriage, and this happens......i couldn't still comes to the terms that she chose her 1st love, because of her feelings towards him, though they have lost contact for over 10 years......
i'm still in mourning period, and though i read Baronic 1st post, i'm still in getting into terms that i just lost her just like that.....
it may take me days, weeks, months, years or even I may never ever forget her......
adrianck, I feel for you. Believe me, I've been through similar cases before. It wasn't easy for me at that time, took me a while to get over it.
First of all, you have to accept the fact that the relationship is over. Yes I know you might find it hard to accept that she has chosen her 1st love but she has make her choice and you would have to accept it.
Put away all the things that you received from her, anything that reminds you of her, like clothing, pictures, wallpaper, etc. This is to remove the memory trigger. No doubt you will still think of her, but you do not want to be constantly reminded of the memories that both of you have shared. So take a big carton to store all those things away for now.
I would suggest that you keep yourself busy, go out with friends, go take up a hobby, learn something new, fill up your time so your mind do not wander and dwell on memories.
Broken heart takes time to heal. Take a small step towards healing everyday and you will eventually walk out of this darkness. Be strong and hang in there. Take good care of yourself and talk to you soon.
Added on April 19, 2011, 11:29 amQUOTE(Mellilot1234 @ Apr 16 2011, 09:54 PM)
finally i found somewhere where i can find a lil bit of emotional support. Its been few weeks now, feeling lonely and abandoned, not loved and constantly clinging on to my bed and kept hidden in my blanket.
but above all those, i have been constantly blaming myself for partly created an abusive relationship - in an oral way....like screaming when i found out that he has done something which crosses my boundaries.
I felt really bad to him and myself, but I cant help it when anger takes over. How can I make sure I don't do that in my next relationship.
It was a pretty bad break
Melliot1234, first of all, you are not alone and abandoned by others. There are many people around you that loves and care about you. Look carefully around and you will realize that. Don't hide yourself in your bed anymore.
It is good that you realize your shortcoming. I would suggest that the next time you feel your anger rising, hold your tongue. Try not to say anything when you are angry. You can tell your love what you feel when you have cool down.
This post has been edited by clar.soo: Apr 19 2011, 11:29 AM 
Apr 14 2011, 05:47 PM
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