organize something to look forward to and give urself targets. like saving up towards a holiday overseas etc.
i felt like u too when i broke up.. so i joined the gym, and now im looking to continue my studies part time. Whenever i think of her, and my day is grey, i just think of all these targets i have.. continue my studies, find ways to further my career etc.

i wouldn't say it would work, coz im still hurting, but i guess its better than mope around coz she aint comin back.

This post has been edited by chickenshit36: May 10 2010, 08:37 PM

my story is also kinda similar like yours, though our relationship was very much shorter than yours. she also had someone quite fast after we broke up, and yeah i understand how the hurt feels. Thing is, if u think u can't handle being her best friend for now, try to put her out of ur life for a little time, till your stronger. i think she'd understand if u tell her u need some time away. i deleted her fb and msn for a period of time, coz the hurt when i saw the pics of her and her bf were tremendous. even now, i block her notifications. Just take time away from her and focus on ur own life. Better yet, just start dating again, meet girls etc.

in a way im lucky i had supportive friends. god knows how many drinking sessions or the times where i joined a friend with his gf for an outing being a lamppost haha. thing is, real friends wouldn't mind u hanging out with them but just don overdo it lah. maybe u shud try...

and yes, i tend to avoid the places we frequent too, coz it just keeps giving me flashbacks. But this i think, will be solved in time when the hurt heals

[quote=suffaxile,May 13 2010, 12:36 PM]
[quote=painzz,May 13 2010, 09:57 AM]
@chickenshit
- thx mate, never know someone out there got the same prob with me, maybe i should try out your idea by ignoring her til i heal.. the hurt feelings are just unbearable when the flashback
comes, made me wanted to get back together more. But flashbakcs are hard to control, when it comes, its just very hard to stop and keep leading to another.. just don't understand how can they get another mate so fast after breaking up with us, dont they feel hurt at all?

@suffaxile
- i really hope that day will come when i don't care about her anymore..yeah i just have to wait and get over with! one of my friend told me this " life's still good without girls" haha how true is that!?

It is true in all sense. Life revolves more than just girls. So, believe it hehe. Glad u are feeling better, keep it up. Slowly, but surely, u would reach the day when u just won't bother bout her anymore.

[/quote]

well, i also was like u, hoping that she'd come back, heck i even had a dream about that lol. Yeah the memories are hard to control, but in time, u will learn to accept it, and then the memories will be sweeter instead of hurting. and i also asked myself the same question of how she is able to move on so fast, and when i think of her together with the guy, it hurts alot. I even wondered if she ever loved me, but in the end i just told myself... that i did the best i could at that time, and that i was sincere with her. The question of whether she loved me etc didn matter anymore. I did my best.

Anyways, everyone deserves to find their own happiness. Sometimes, we're just not the one. We can't blame them for seeking for that happiness.
I once told her "I hope hes everything u wanted, and everything i couldn't give."I loved her and i sincerely hope she can find whatever shes looking for.

This post has been edited by chickenshit36: May 13 2010, 01:53 PM

im not completely healed lah.... some days are good, some days its really bad.

as for friends, hmmm i haven't seen her since we broke up about 7months ago. MSN sometimes on or off, i just let her msg me first... im still trying to get over it, hence the minimal contact. i do check her fb profile from time to time to see if shes doin ok.

im not wise lah,its just that i've been thru what ur goin thru and did alot of soul searching lol

yeah shes doin well. from fb i can see shes happy lah... and she got a new job too with better pay. so all in all, shes better than when she was with me. i guess i hafto love her enough to let her go. btw i just had tea with her, and i tot its gonna be ok but apparently not, i just realize the things i miss about her and why i loved her so much lol... and im hurting now again, so word of advice... don meet her till ur really ready LOL

when ur partner wants to breakup, they can find 1001 reasons to do it. don't let it get to u. just understand that, he doesn't want it anymore therefore no point for u to stay in the r/s. when 1 party gives up, the r/s will die off sooner or later... just remind urself that it is inevitable.

i was like u before... but one day i just woke up and realized that i have to stop looking at her fb etc or i'll end up just stuck there hanging and nvr move on.
i also sometimes think of her and miss her when im lonely, but u have to stay strong and one day, u will be strong enough to leave it behind. but whats important is that u must have the intention to move forward first.