Having gone through two disastrous break-ups, including a last-minute wedding call-off, I can say the below works for me. It may work for whoever needs it too:

1. Turn to God. He created you, and loves you even though you and I tend to forget Him.

2. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. Family works best, but close friends come a close second too. Remember, some friends may not be able to say they want to help you, but they will say it in other, non-verbal ways. Let them.

3. Don't be alone with your thoughts. Be busy. Put your head down and put that anger and resentment to a good use: join a gym or play futsal.

4. Burn/throw/get rid of anything that reminds you of your pain.

5. Remember, no amount of crying/sadness/moping around will reverse what has already happened. Suck it up, pick up the pieces of your life and move on. You may be sad today, you may be sad tomorrow, but one day it will get better. Till then, take it one step, one day at a time.

6. Create an incentive scheme. I used to have this big glass jar, which I labelled "The Big-Ass Jar of Happiness ™". Everytime I felt sad/lousy/depressed, I would put in some money, with the amount depending on how lousy I felt that day. Then, at the end of the month, if you've been sad for some time, you;ll have a big pile of money, that'll surely put a smile to your face. Hey, even if it's empty, that means you're getting better, and you'll smile anyway!

...

At the end of the day, you will survive. You've made it this far, and you know you won't quit for anything, or anyone.

Yeah, that was a long time ago, back in July 2005. I'm happy to say that I have made a complete recovery from that traumatic experience.

Surprisingly, "The Wedding That Never Was - aka TWTNW ™" did not have as much impact as my first real break-up, despite the severity of what happened in TWTNW.

I guess it was because of what I learnt from the first one ... took me more than a year of being depressed and moping around back then, before I learnt the importance of not living in the past.

Do not underestimate your capacity to do miraculous things. Trust me, you can do anything you set your mind to, except maybe to pull a bus around using your teeth.

This post has been edited by Mayomythical: Oct 27 2009, 10:53 AM

Agreed for the short term. However, over the longer term, one has to let go of the hate in order to love again. Life's hard enough as it is, don't carry the weight of all your baggage with you wherever you go.

Back then, that advice didn't make any sort of sense.

Three broken relationships later, I realise my mother was right. It would not have changed anything, perhaps, but I would not have gotten so hung up on them if I had listened to her.

Disagree with this. It took me a whole year to get over one of my relationships. I guess it depends on who is the dumper, and who is the dumpee. It's always easier to move on when you're the dumper, as you've already moved on even before the relationship formally ended.

IMHO, you don't love him anymore. You want to have something to hold on to, a fond memory even. Take your time, but you need to realise that you can be happy again, without him. After all, you were fine before he came into the scene, right? Better you realise this sooner than later, or you may end up like me, pissing away a whole year moping around in London.

Flashbacks are normal. After all, for a while you were happy with that person. Happy memories will always remain with you, regardless if it was with your ex, your dad or even your childhood friends. What is important is you realise that new memories are there to be made, and that you should not live your life in the past.