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Serious HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP, Post all "getting over" advice here

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DreMAx
post Oct 26 2009, 02:10 PM

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QUOTE(mazarul @ Oct 26 2009, 12:17 AM)
Thanks guys,for the advice that really helpful..I feel better today n hopefully tomorrow better than 2day..
just clean up my room that look like 'tongkang pecah'.
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


From now on..I promise to myself that story will be my past..I'll move on..thanks to TS,D-Zire,DreMAx n those who make this thread usefull..
*
You're welcome. Actually I came here too to get some words of advice about what should be doing next. It's not wrong to think back about it sometimes you know but, just don't get yourself into that kinda mood again. Maybe someday things will turn around and again who know it may flourish again?

After all our options are always open as long we make the right decision at the right time and of course having an open heart smile.gif

QUOTE(mypenandpencil @ Oct 26 2009, 12:49 AM)
I'll cut my long hair, feel bitter but embrace the change. Hmm... provided I have plenty of brownies, chocs and tit bits couching in my own room watching k-drama. Maybe do exercise for a whole day, maybe shop till I drop. I don't know, seriously.  unsure.gif
*
I did do something like push up till I actually dropped dead on the floor. Painful doh.gif
Johannbeckham
post Oct 26 2009, 02:19 PM

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QUOTE(DreMAx @ Oct 26 2009, 02:10 PM)
I did do something like push up till I actually dropped dead on the floor. Painful doh.gif
*
Do something worth-while. You want pain? Try joining a gym or train and run marathon's... You might get your best shape in the process and possibly attract a possible gf/bf. I did both of those by the way rclxms.gif

This post has been edited by Johannbeckham: Oct 26 2009, 02:26 PM
cezero
post Oct 26 2009, 02:50 PM

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this thread help me a lot ( invisble present)...finally I'm ready to move on by not letting d past become d stumbling block...
I am type of person tat owez hold on to my sad past..now nt anymore.

I'm a happy and better person now..=P when i choose to move on..

d memory is stil killing me sometime..but i wil not let it get in my way nymore..
DreMAx
post Oct 26 2009, 04:38 PM

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QUOTE(Johannbeckham @ Oct 26 2009, 02:19 PM)
Do something worth-while. You want pain? Try joining a gym or train and run marathon's... You might get your best shape in the process and possibly attract a possible gf/bf. I did both of those by the way  rclxms.gif
*
Actually I did that I think during my first night when I couldn't sleep at all the whole night. Speaking of marathons, I don't think I will ever participate in one because I am not a long distance runner and well I don't want something to happen to like what happened to one my seniors who collapse and died in one of the recent marathons.


QUOTE(cezero @ Oct 26 2009, 02:50 PM)
this thread help me a lot ( invisble present)...finally I'm ready to move on by not letting d past become d stumbling block...
I am type of person tat owez hold on to my sad past..now nt anymore.

I'm a happy and better person now..=P when i choose to move on..

d memory is  stil killing me sometime..but i wil not let it get in my way nymore..
*
It always always feels better as in the soul has been relieved of some big pile of burden when you choose to get over with it. Yes after reading the first post by Baronic, here I've decided that I shall not let myself go deeper into sadness and pain which ruins practically everyday or my life.

I, myself too had the tendency to hold on to something in this case feelings for sometime but, it has changed a for me. smile.gif
Mayomythical
post Oct 26 2009, 05:10 PM

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Having gone through two disastrous break-ups, including a last-minute wedding call-off, I can say the below works for me. It may work for whoever needs it too:

1. Turn to God. He created you, and loves you even though you and I tend to forget Him.

2. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. Family works best, but close friends come a close second too. Remember, some friends may not be able to say they want to help you, but they will say it in other, non-verbal ways. Let them.

3. Don't be alone with your thoughts. Be busy. Put your head down and put that anger and resentment to a good use: join a gym or play futsal.

4. Burn/throw/get rid of anything that reminds you of your pain.

5. Remember, no amount of crying/sadness/moping around will reverse what has already happened. Suck it up, pick up the pieces of your life and move on. You may be sad today, you may be sad tomorrow, but one day it will get better. Till then, take it one step, one day at a time.

6. Create an incentive scheme. I used to have this big glass jar, which I labelled "The Big-Ass Jar of Happiness ™". Everytime I felt sad/lousy/depressed, I would put in some money, with the amount depending on how lousy I felt that day. Then, at the end of the month, if you've been sad for some time, you;ll have a big pile of money, that'll surely put a smile to your face. Hey, even if it's empty, that means you're getting better, and you'll smile anyway!

...

At the end of the day, you will survive. You've made it this far, and you know you won't quit for anything, or anyone.
debbieyss
post Oct 27 2009, 08:30 AM

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QUOTE(Mayomythical @ Oct 26 2009, 05:10 PM)
Having gone through two disastrous break-ups, including a last-minute wedding call-off,
*
I'm sorry to hear that...
Mayomythical
post Oct 27 2009, 10:25 AM

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QUOTE(debbieyss @ Oct 27 2009, 08:30 AM)
I'm sorry to hear that...
*
Yeah, that was a long time ago, back in July 2005. I'm happy to say that I have made a complete recovery from that traumatic experience. smile.gif
debbieyss
post Oct 27 2009, 10:25 AM

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QUOTE(Mayomythical @ Oct 27 2009, 10:25 AM)
Yeah, that was a long time ago, back in July 2005. I'm happy to say that I have made a complete recovery from that traumatic experience. smile.gif
*
I hope I can be as bold as you.
teongpeng
post Oct 27 2009, 10:47 AM

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QUOTE(debbieyss @ Oct 27 2009, 10:25 AM)
I hope I can be as bold as you.
*
but u can. nod.gif
Mayomythical
post Oct 27 2009, 10:48 AM

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QUOTE(debbieyss @ Oct 27 2009, 10:25 AM)
I hope I can be as bold as you.
*
Surprisingly, "The Wedding That Never Was - aka TWTNW ™" did not have as much impact as my first real break-up, despite the severity of what happened in TWTNW.

I guess it was because of what I learnt from the first one ... took me more than a year of being depressed and moping around back then, before I learnt the importance of not living in the past.

Do not underestimate your capacity to do miraculous things. Trust me, you can do anything you set your mind to, except maybe to pull a bus around using your teeth. tongue.gif

This post has been edited by Mayomythical: Oct 27 2009, 10:53 AM
debbieyss
post Oct 27 2009, 10:53 AM

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How great would it be if the painfulness can be simply wiped off.
D-Zire
post Oct 27 2009, 10:54 AM

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QUOTE(Mayomythical @ Oct 26 2009, 05:10 PM)
Having gone through two disastrous break-ups, including a last-minute wedding call-off, I can say the below works for me. It may work for whoever needs it too:

1. Turn to God. He created you, and loves you even though you and I tend to forget Him.

2. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. Family works best, but close friends come a close second too. Remember, some friends may not be able to say they want to help you, but they will say it in other, non-verbal ways. Let them.

3. Don't be alone with your thoughts. Be busy. Put your head down and put that anger and resentment to a good use: join a gym or play futsal.

4. Burn/throw/get rid of anything that reminds you of your pain.

5. Remember, no amount of crying/sadness/moping around will reverse what has already happened. Suck it up, pick up the pieces of your life and move on. You may be sad today, you may be sad tomorrow, but one day it will get better. Till then, take it one step, one day at a time.

6. Create an incentive scheme. I used to have this big glass jar, which I labelled "The Big-Ass Jar of Happiness ™". Everytime I felt sad/lousy/depressed, I would put in some money, with the amount depending on how lousy I felt that day. Then, at the end of the month, if you've been sad for some time, you;ll have a big pile of money, that'll surely put a smile to your face. Hey, even if it's empty, that means you're getting better, and you'll smile anyway!

...

At the end of the day, you will survive. You've made it this far, and you know you won't quit for anything, or anyone.
*
i'm sorry to hear that. Will 2 thumbs up for ur ideas on what works best during the down time. i like the idea of your "The Big-Ass Jar of Happiness". LOL. Salute! notworthy.gif
mazarul
post Oct 27 2009, 02:06 PM

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QUOTE(D-Zire @ Oct 27 2009, 10:54 AM)
i'm sorry to hear that. Will 2 thumbs up for ur ideas on what works best during the down time. i like the idea of your "The Big-Ass Jar of Happiness". LOL. Salute! notworthy.gif
*
yaa..that was great ideas..rather than filling big cigarette ashtray doh.gif
my fren give me sticky notes that I would like to share:
Face your past without regrets
Handle your present with confidence
Never doubt your believe
Never believe your doubt
Life is wonderful if you know how to live..

This post has been edited by mazarul: Oct 27 2009, 02:06 PM
teongpeng
post Oct 27 2009, 02:30 PM

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QUOTE(debbieyss @ Oct 27 2009, 10:53 AM)
How great would it be if the painfulness can be simply wiped off.
*
then you wouldnt learn anything
mazarul
post Oct 27 2009, 03:45 PM

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QUOTE(debbieyss @ Oct 27 2009, 10:25 AM)
I hope I can be as bold as you.
*
QUOTE(debbieyss @ Oct 27 2009, 10:53 AM)
How great would it be if the painfulness can be simply wiped off.
*
Don't think like that..we should have positive thinking..
I hope I can be as bold as you. > change to I want to,I will be,as bold as u.
It's will be great if I wiped off those painful >of course we cannot simply wiped it,but slowly,we will if we want to..

This post has been edited by mazarul: Oct 27 2009, 03:45 PM
nice[jisho]
post Oct 27 2009, 04:07 PM

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This post has been edited by nice[jisho]: Mar 2 2010, 01:26 PM
debbieyss
post Oct 27 2009, 04:52 PM

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QUOTE(mazarul @ Oct 27 2009, 03:45 PM)
Don't think like that..we should have positive thinking..
I hope I can be as bold as you. > change to I want to,I will be,as bold as u.
It's will be great if I wiped off those painful >of course we cannot simply wiped it,but slowly,we will if we want to..
*
WANT and CAN are 2 different matters.
DreMAx
post Oct 27 2009, 05:35 PM

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QUOTE(debbieyss @ Oct 27 2009, 04:52 PM)
WANT and CAN are 2 different matters.
*
If the will power is strong then one shall succeed. But at the same time, I think having some people to watch us over and pick us up when we fall is always a good thing.
nice[jisho]
post Oct 28 2009, 10:25 AM

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This post has been edited by nice[jisho]: Mar 2 2010, 01:18 PM
beecee
post Oct 28 2009, 12:27 PM

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agree with u
will power is important

n help from others is a great way to reduce the break up impact
try folowing the advice from this topic
oso many great ways of overcome the sobber

dont be pathetic n cry all the time
crying would not give ur boy/girl back for u

move on b happy n enjoy ur life
ur life is way to far ahead
dont end it for 1 man/woman
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