QUOTE(Hollow21 @ Oct 23 2014, 10:45 PM)
I just broken up.....she said she has no feel anymore. After some attempts to ask her to stay, I think I accepted the fact to let her go although I still think of her.
But I can't help but pondering about the question of whether I did my best when she said she has no feel. I felt like I did my best for the relationship but somehow I have this lingering feeling I did not. For the past few days, I keep looking back at all the things I did, the gifts I gave, the places I took her, the shoulder to cry on, playing the nurse while she was sick, fetching her, helping her....felt like I did but somehow, I keep feeling I could have done more. More to tug at her heart. More to keep the sparks going. I even asked her, did I let you down? She said no - I did my best just she has no feel anymore. She even said she tried to keep the relationship alive but just no sparks and she gave up. With all that she said, somehow I still feel I could have saved it. Felt like I needed just one more chance. I know this question probably cannot be answered. Quoting Searizeel, this is one of the "inponerable" question. But just wondering how you guys or girls get thru this. I know I sound unsure and maybe blaming myself, but I just need to let it out of my mind.
Hi Hollow21,
I just want to let you in on one probable perspective your
ex may have had for your entire relationship.
And I must say that your situation isn't exactly imponderable.
You see, when a girl;guy;anyone for that matter, leaves you
because sparks die out, they are doing you a final favour out
of love. (or whatever love that was left)
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
A relationship cannot thrive when the following conditions are present:
1. To love out of sympathy
2. To love out of convenience
3. To love out of obligation
It's not impossible for a relationship to begin with any of the above
3 conditions, but those conditions shouldn't last indefinitely if you're
already in a relationship. It's ok if it helps you develop feelings for
someone. But if it still feels that way after a long time; boy. You're
in for some heavy heartache.
And from your story, I have reasons to believe that your ex more
or less follows the same principles.
I mean...
Why pretend to love someone when you know you can't?
I believe that love has to come out sincere from the bottom of
your heart. And it has to be genuine. If it's masked by another
intent, then it's just destined to crash and burn sooner or later.
If you're not gonna give someone your first rate version of love,
then you might as well don't give any at all. If you find that you're
not giving someone you love the first rate treatment, then something
is amiss somewhere. And I think your ex saw that.
I'm almost certain that she still cares for you and she doesn't want
to waste any more of your precious time with someone (herself) who
can't love you as much as you do for her. And to stop you from hurting
long-term, she has to hurt you this way. You have to understand that
there's no other better way for her to make you let her go.
I mean, at least she didn't openly cheat on another guy on you
or just blow you off negatively like a sour-ass b****. She ended
it as civilized as she could didn't she?
It was peaceful. No drama. Straight to the point.
I can't think of any other way for her to break up with you without
hurting your feelings because she realized that she still cares for you
but can't find it in herself to love you like how she did anymore.
Her breaking up with you and actually finding the courage to let you
go when she knows that she loves you, but no longer is in love with
you, that's really tough man.
It definitely sucks donkeyballs to love so hard for x amount of time only to end
up feeling hollow, empty and lost about something that once felt certain or right.
Just think about it; One day, you wake up, dating this dude again. Then everything
felt different, awkward and uncomfortable. You thought it was a one-off thing and
maybe it'd pass on the following day, so you keep on hoping for it to snap back into
what was regarded as normal in your relationship.
Day after day you waited. You shrugged it off.
But it never reverted. And kept getting increasingly frustrating and suffocating.
And you find yourself becoming bitter.
This guy's like always treating you so nicely, but you can't seem to reciprocate
properly in kind. Everything felt jarring. And you end up feeling so guilty
and sorry for that person.
So just think for a minute and ask yourself:
How would you have acted, if you were put into her shoes?
For all it's worth, she might even be thinking that she's undeserving of
someone like you. From your story, you sound like a responsible, reliable
and genuine human being. And I'm pretty sure you are.
Because if you weren't, I don't think she'd have left you. She has faith that
her leaving you is for the best, and that you'll make another girl really happy.
She has faith that you'll still be able to fall in love, and it'd be responded in
kind. She didn't want you to have a plaguing relationship with her
And from that, I can tell you that you're a very lucky man. Very few girls
can love a man like that. Love the man enough to let him go for the better.
She already knows that she can't offer you anything solid but the company.
She felt pointless for you to just have her body when you're also supposed
to have her mind, heart, the total of what makes her a person. If you're just
looking for a body, a simple love doll or prostitute would suffice.
A relationship should be fulfilling for both parties. Not a one-way street.
The sooner you can understand her intentions for leaving you, the sooner
you'll be able to come to terms with her absence in your life.
QUOTE(smileyee @ Oct 24 2014, 05:11 PM)
Hi, is okay, just express what you want to say. is actually very hard and suffer to keep in your heart.
no one knows who you are here, you can say things you wish to.
she still keep in touch with you? or none at all?
take good care. we still have very long way to go, to overcome the sadness.
Also, to smileyee, venting is fine and all, and I agree that we can say whatever
we wish to say here in order to help with coming to terms with the experience
of losing someone important.
But I have to let y'all know that I'm who I am online as I would be in real life.
And that's the reason why my display picture is my real picture.
I don't believe in a life of hiding. If you're gonna live a life, might as well
live a transparent one where you don't have to be afraid of doing what
you want to do. Because you know that if it isn't wrong to do it, there's
nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed for.
Well, just a thought though. Not everybody can do it.
I just personally think it'd be good practice to just be who you are in real life
and not hide behind the cloaks of anonymity. But hey, in the end, it's your
choice. I'm happy the way I am haha.
So do whatever floats your boat everyone.
QUOTE(mudkipryan94 @ Oct 24 2014, 10:27 PM)
just let her go bah bro..
remind this passenger's song, let her go
of the part of meaning
Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
That's a good song man.
But it also teaches a very good value;
To love someone enough to let the person be free of you.
I've got many personal breakup songs to share, but lets just
say that can come some other time.
Yeah.
Oct 23 2014, 09:45 PM
Quote
haha...
for your 12 years. This is mind-blowing to me, hope you are holding up. 
...
0.0261sec
0.37
6 queries
GZIP Disabled