I feel for you mate. Hope you'll be able to get thru this hard time. I know it's worst when your ex doesn't even want to keep you as a friend. Just like a stranger all of a sudden. Not easy to get used to it. But well, i think eventually you will find that this is a new start for you to explore what are the things out there you've missed out when you were in a relationship with your partner. Discover yourself and remember that relationship with your bf/gf is just one part of life, not everything. Try to focus more on other things you are capable of, or other goals in life.

You'll know soon that you will be just fine (or maybe a better person) without your ex.

IMHO , break up should always be clean....... be friends ? is it even possible when u have feelings and 'memories' of being together ? Honestly i don't think so,

I am now single for exactly a year after my partner left me for some1 else, AND we r so called 'friends' but, i can say it is very unhealthy for me, cuz i keep on holding on to the past...hoping for a tomorrow when that person will just run coming back to me............ hanging out together and listen to her telling me bout her new relationship and problems.....all i know is ....i die a little more after every meet.......

I'm weak...unable to let go of her.......given a choice it would b better to not have kept contact so that i could heal the wound properly.....

e.g if u got burn by fire...would u still put ur wound near to a fire ...or would u put out the fire straight away ???

Of course it's always easy to give advice........but it never is a simple or easy thing to put it into an action.....

I for one is still trying and strunggling.......................

Never thought it would be that bad. I mean 1 year and still not able to let her go completely? Hmm..I need to think twice now if i should keep in touch with my ex. He promised not to show me anything about his new relationship, but i don't know how long that would last.

its been a year, you should able to learn to let it go already.
"a journey for a thousand miles start with a single step".
what happen its already happen and the clock won't turn back.
I'm giving this advise because i've went thru far more worse situation before (as i don't wish to mention the past).



It's up to you to decide wanna keep contact or not.
Promise had been made and also meant to be broken.
move on, life is beautiful and alot thing you can do with or without him/ her.

Well, for me it is, but it might not b the same for u or anyone else, just sharing my experience...in the end my advice just follow your heart.....do what u think is best and dun live in regrets.....

Thanks, like i said easier said then done, u have no idea how many times i've thought of giving up on her completely, even as so called 'frens' but every single time i think of doing that she contacts me, telling me things like, 'i missed you' ,
'i've seen this movie and i thought of you' , 'That reminds me of you, i feel touched and blessed to have you in my life'......well after hearing this words coming from her, back to the starting point i am...and struggle and suffer all over....not that i mind or anything..cuz i really do love her and all i want for her is the best....and sometimes the best might not be me........what i am saying though is that it is unhealthy for me..mentally or otherwise....

Stop giving yourself so much excuses! if you insist to move on and tell her to walk away and stop bothering you.

If you still coming back and give all those lame excuses, none can help you. Wanna get saved? learn how to save yourself.

the more lame excuses you give to yourself, you're prolong the pain inside your heart and end up.. to TG. Rambutan!

LoL.........sadly i have to agree with you, but emotional issues is always harder to solve then logical issues, understand that i am coming from the emotional sense and you are advising me from a logical sense.....

in other words, it's easier said than done..................now if it was really that easy to just shut her away, then i guess i never really loved her in the 1st place, the fact that it is difficult for me prove otherwise.

AND if u tell me that you've been thru this situation and it was very easy for you, then i honestly believe that ur relationship was never a real one, or you never really loved that person........or you love yourself more.......



p/s : is it a crime to sacrifice your life for someone that you love and is more important than yourself ????

Stop giving yourself lame excuses
indeed most of us will advise you from logical sense instead emotional sense. Because when we advise you in emotional sense, we would just help prolong the pain inside you.

Don't you know? a women won't love a guy that doesn't love himself. no matter how much you say that you love her and how deep or how huge your love to her... as long you doesn't even know how to love yourself... it's merely just a word.

Anyway, i believe most your friend are tried with your nagging about this issue and that's why you come in and nag about it.
maybe its time for you to learn wake up from this dream.

lol, i dunno should i thank you or otherwise,

it sounds more like you're the one with the issue here not me.......

my frens ??? i dun talk to them bout this, i'm merely sharing my experience for others so that they will not follow my footsteps...did i seek advice ?? did i ask for your advice ???

now i'm frustrating you then you don't have to answer or entertaint me.....nor will i apologize for my believe....love myself? in which statement did u read me saying that i don't love myself ??? all i said is i love her more than myself.......

i respect your opinion now please respect mine...u can live you life and let me live mine........if you have a happy and healthy relationship good for you and i'm also happy for you....but if you don't then what rights do you have to judge me.....

oh wait...you in this forum and topic i guess you are just as screwed as i am........

enough already, you pick the road you wanna walk thru.
nothing more to say, also... your life and you decide everything for what is right and what is wrong.
what is past already past, sometimes we must understand... the best way to love someone we care the most are to let them go.

screwed up as you? hmm, i did.. but, i didn't let my emotional sense take control my logical sense.
Oh! sorry to say, i'm dating with someone else...
understanding are different for everyone, maybe you need alot more time to realize it.

anyway, i'm still here because i love to read what happen to everyone in their daily life relationship.
practically, most of WE in CC here either kepoh, helping or reading ppl daily r/ship.
"a journey to a thousand mile, start from a first steps"

good for you.............and happy for you...

and yes you are right it's my choice.....just like how u choose to let go and move on ....

and how i choose to let go of her...but continue to care and be there for her....LoL

anyways.......most important in life, never stop learning, never look back, no regrets....and ENJOY !!!

well the period of letting go is really depends on emotional background of the person, the attachment to his/her ex and how willing is him/her to change himself/herself.

Because of this differences, you can't just simply go to particular person and say "you are a loser, move on already. I did the same, why don't you?" or something like that because s/he is differ than you.

I've been through the same experiences until now. And because I have certain personality disorder, it's harder to let go than normal people. Some people just simply say just find another girl etc when in fact people don't even know your emotional background. But because of willingness to change, I still struggling to find myself and recover from this.

What can I say is, for some people who can't let go, just find yourself deeper and create self-worth. Once you find and know yourself, you will see your ex as imperfect and not more than normal people. You might have obsessive thought, just learn how to switch the thought into something else.

yes, i feel you.......and agree with you....an advice that is thoughtful and actually help make sense for me....thanks you have no idea how much you comment just helped me........God Bless You !!!! for posting this when i really need it the most.......

and remember, you are starting from scratch again. So, don't try to look back and whining over the past. You just flipped a page of bad ending and currently writing the new one.
Take the lessons from previous relationship and learn how to make it better in the future.

Sleep .. to stop thinking of sad things

Smile even tho its really hurt inside..

drink to glory!!!!!!!

I thought I can't live without her, but I guess it should be good with my friends around, tho sometimes friends aren't always there for me.

She is really indecesive ! Been together unofficially for about a year and still she got other guys around.

Guess time to move on, slowly ! No excuse for myself !

BE CONFIDENCE , BE BRAVE , KILL EXCUSE. GET A LIFE

Edited

This post has been edited by plush: Jul 9 2012, 09:23 AM