guys and gals...i have a question...here is the situation...

i have a fren from china. she has a bf (been together for 3 years). the guy now is in australia. taking his master over there (planning to get a PR and work there). both of them are already 26 this years (already reached the time to settle down) she never think of going there as she thinks it takes time to get herself suit to the new environment. until few days ago her bf told her to consider about continue her studies in Australia and get a PR after that..or else he wants to break up. she already wasted lotsa times when she transfer from china to m'sia (her bf was in m'sia) she redo her degree in malaysia as the uni don accept any exemption.

so the question is, if u were this gal, what will u choose? to go OR not to go?

Depends on how much the girl love the girl.

The choice is quite limited right?

If the girl can't live without him, go to Australia else they will need to break up.

If the girl can live without him and don't want to move to Australia. Break up and get a new live.

1st Id see if I can get the financial support 1st
2nd see if I can get admitance to australia.
3rd I think the guy is too demanding

He is not demanding. He is just being realistic. He has made up his mind of what he want.

So, LOOK !!! Either you come here or we end our relationship !!!

most likely this relationship won't be going anywhere even if ur friend goes to Australia. Maybe it is time for her to put herself first.

This post has been edited by Avex: Apr 10 2008, 01:43 AM

yes!!! tats wat i think....the relationship wont last if she keep tolerating...she just follow wat the guy wants...and never think of wat is the best for herself...the guy cant support her if she cant get a job there. so...sigh...love is so blind...

wat a cheap guy!!! love is blind...

ask d boy "da fong" bit ... d girl shud think bout tis ... how can a boy simply juz let it go after a long relationship juz bcos of distance?

You sounds like you are those that has no faint and give up easily on a relationship.

Well, i still look at it at the bright side. There were together for 3 yrs d. The BF has put a condition that if she wish to continue, she'll have to sacrifice again and be with him in Australia. No matter what, the lifestyle in Australia is still better than M'sia I assume.

yes...this guy has a very good planning....he knows what he wants in the future...and stay very firm...but i think this is not the way to discuss the future with the loved ones.

What does he has if he come back to M'sia?

I believe he must have a reason to ask the girl to go over. Seriously, the guy sounds like a smart guy to me. If not he won't be doing his master in Australia now.

How much salary would he get in M'sia with his master compared to Australia? I believe there is nothing wrong in wishing for the best. Transferring from M'sia to Australia might be a problem for a short period of time but losing the chance being with someone you truly love is a lost in the long run.

lifestyle cant be assumed...this is depends on herself. food, weather and everything need to put into consideration. opportunity to get a good permanent job is also another important thing to think of ..

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Added on April 10, 2008, 1:59 ami donno whether 'smart' is a suitable word to describe him as he is not the only who is able to take master over there. but the way he 'forced' his gf to go there showing he is NOT smart

This post has been edited by pumpkinn: Apr 10 2008, 01:59 AM

1. Why think of something you don't know? As i said, the decision is very simple. LOOK ! Make up ur mind, u want him ... go over. U don't want him, go over. ( You / U = Your friend )

2. It is NOT force. Force is no matter what, she must go. This is called as putting a condition. You come = We will be together. You don't come = We break up.

3. Which part of him that is NOT smart? As I said, he know what he want. Does your friend know want she want? If she does, she would be able to make a decision by now

This post has been edited by Vinspire: Apr 10 2008, 02:02 AM

Lets just speak with common sense. Please don't just tell TS friend to just pack up and just go flying to Australia and everything will be fine. Life is real, there is more things to just LOVE to consider. what is her security, the guy's words and LOVE?

Now where is the BF's responsibility in this relationship. Sounds more like he wants everything done his way or no way. If he is smart enough, take one step at a time, TS ask ur friend to talk with her BF. tell this BF of hers to get a job first, when everything is very much settled down on his side, maybe the bf should then invite her to go over, if she likes it then settle down.--This is a plan

This post has been edited by Avex: Apr 10 2008, 04:08 AM

yes...i personally think she is not smart...but as a fren i cant say ' hey, just leave him!!!' for the 1st point, i am not thinking of something i donno...this is one of the ways to get herself well prepared to face anything which might be happened over there. anyhow, if she decided to go, she will be all alone over there. no frens, no relatives. and nobody can guarantee that the guy wont leave her if she goes.

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Added on April 10, 2008, 2:12 amyes agree!

This post has been edited by pumpkinn: Apr 10 2008, 02:12 AM

As I've mentioned in most of my post. Your friend should know what she want. Can she live without the girl or not?

As a fren, we should support whatever her decision is coz even if you help her decide, it might not be the right thing. It is her life, she should make decision on your own.

Avex, it is not good to jump into a conclusion by saying the guy can't provide security for the girl. Within 3 yrs period, I am sure they've gone through a lot of memories together. We doesn't know the full story of this scenario. Therefore, I don't think any of us in the forum have the right to give her advice of what to do.

pumpkinn, when she first came to M'sia. I am sure she is her alone by herself too.

Finally, I don't believe such thing as guarantee exist in a relationship. If there is such thing as guarantee, then I guess every girl will fall for guy if they said "I guarantee you will be happy if you marry me".

yeah i agree. even if he had made up his mind, shouldnt he be thinking about the difficulties that she might face?

Is it possible for your friend to finish her studies before she fly over to Australia? How many more semesters for her to complete her studies? It's a huge investment (education), I don't think it's a good idea to keep delaying, transferring and switching for the sake of a guy who is hardly considerate.

Giving ultimatum in a relationship really shows a lot about a person's tolerance level. I am not saying the guy isn't good, but expecting the girl to throw up everything in her life, including her important studies just to be with him is a tad over the board.

Can he support her if she couldn't get into university there? Who's paying for her fees if she can get in? What about daily expanses?

its quite a good idea the guy has and ask your friend to go if she see's a future in the relationship iv seen my malaysians freinds go to aus to study when reach there have long distance relation ship with gf in the end they have a hard time keeping up the relationship...

if he wants his cock so much then go ahead.

Prostitution is legal in aussie..

Ever heard of bf selling their gf to bapak ayam? Is common in aus. especially students. they hold ur passport and threaten them to work for them.. must serve at least 4 customer a day..

Asian gals are hot in demand there.. dun be dumb until got sell by her bf oso dunno..

her bf got mental prob la..

Ask her come to Malaysia to study or wat.. if no cock cannot survive ask her go back china and marry la.
Wasting her parents money..

err accutualy aust is a country that is strong on it's law they wouldnt even let you *smoke weed* a step out side of your house but inside they wouldnt say a thing. this being said if ppl hold your passport and ask u have at least 4 customers a day u should complain to police. their police MUCH MUCH more efficent then ours....






** i dont do drugs b4 "any" one wanna come get a piece of me i better clearify that beacause people in aust do sell drugs openly and you can grow a marijuana plant in australia in your own home for consuming purposes.

wah, need or not think until prostitution? PS: they've been together for 3 years, very unlikely bf will go sell her la.

Actually i think her bf knows what he wants in future, n he also seems to take her seriously. otherwise, he wouldnt ask her to go to aussie with him. it's better to be with a guy who can decide on things rather than being with one who doesnt know how to decide. While ur friend may feel under pressure coz he constantly ask her to do this n that for his sake, she may feel quite secure coz his personality is dominant.

My ex was something like ur friend's bf. i admired him for his strong personality. unfortunately, he was kinda controlling n possessive. so yeah...

make sure ur friend knows what she wants in life. if she really loves him and plans to have a future with him (and marry), then i dont see why she shouldnt go to aussie. but if she's still considering other choices, ask her to negotiate with him for long distance relationship, maybe they can try it out first for a while.

First and foremost, men must be able to support their wives and families. Then you see if the woman can support herself without the man.

This post has been edited by spunkberry: Apr 11 2008, 01:15 AM

bbrin this case almost similar to my brother....he fell in love with this girl and recently we found out that it's not the "i love u, u love me lets enjoy" one it's the serious type that he wants to marry her but he dosent say's a thing to her so she assume he's being mean when he tells her not to go out with certain friends and to certain places.

the guy in this case might wanna make a future with your friend, he may want to marry her. but to do that he dosent want to loose her beacause of the distance, and time.

Ah Dear Lady who asked this question ! LONG DISTANCE REALTIONSHIPS DONT LAST NOT AT ALL !!! , Save you heart , Save Yourself ! , Move on ! ,

Yeah agree.

Loving
Marrying
Suffering

yeah, wanna save someone learn how to swim first. another reason why gals (some) shouldnt ask men to choose between love/career

EXACTLY.
I think the guy is going overboard.
First ask her come to malaysia, now go to aussie.
It's not even like he's getting a job there.
After his masters then what?
get a job somewhere else like india and drag her there along as well?

If she's really THAT tolerating then I really salute her.
No guy will ever push me around like that

i think when the guy give a condition as she not turn up in aus, he wanna to broke up with her.
1st thing come in my mind was the guy is really selfish.
I had a guy fren who study in aus from degree to PHD alsmot 10 years.
but the gf still in msia, he back to msia every year in 2-3 weeks duration.yet, the guy think to married with his gf,
but..
the guy fren had told me actually he got some one also there..he missed her gf too..
but he cant stand for lonely..
i think for a long term n long distance relationship hv to handle well,
as better have both side commitment in certain period.
If not, is really wasting both side time to remain the " so so call" still bf n gf in realtionship but,the spiritual is not there..
tats wat i wan to share wif u...

he guy is not smart and good planning as u thought.
aus pr is not easy to get, most of my friend study master there end up also can not get pr. the life style also hardly cope.. malaysia more entertainment..oh
26 tie the knot? make sure your fren tie the correct know is more important

I was pretty surprised reading something that is rather similar with mines.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now.
He is over at Perth taking up his MBA while I'm back at Malaysia happily in college.

I'm not quite good in putting my advice in words.
So what I could actually give in as an opinion is,

Never let go any chances. We wouldn't know what will happen in the future right?

Ts should go to aussie for her BF...

coz she need to try hard for the relation, if really cant then she wont regret if break up ...

don waste it as it's hard for 2 individual to be in love...

In my own humble oppinion , this decision shouldn;t be taken lightly . It is quite an important matter from my point of view .

The guy is not smart nor dumb nor selfish nor kind. He's just being direct and realistic in the matter of pursuing his own career and i think the bf is a lovely man. He asked his gf if she would go over and be together with him. It is not a question of marry or not to marry but at least he asked. Then there was another curiosity , the guy directly tell the girl , 'well if you do not plan to come over then i think it is better to end the relationship (for the best of our career advancement)

My point is there are many perspective to look into this matter but we will have to go to the basic again , the girl will have to think of herself (like consider the consequences if she goes over to be with her bf) It is just to clear the doubts on herself so that she could make a clearer decision.

There are also other option for the girl in this matter, if the guy do not mind. Ask about the involvement of the girl future in his future. Is she part of his plan? (i think this is very important) If the girl is part of his plan .. then i don;t see why she must break up with that guy. But if it's not then i think you must sit down and think harder.

I don;t see a fault if you decide not to go over . I think it's alright because you're still you and there's probably some other reason ( not just couldn't cope in different environment). It is important to search the hidden reasons so you'd be clearer on the doubts she's having now.

my point is clear the doubts and then re-consider on the consequences and you'd have a clearer mind to decide .

There's not good or better choice okay...it just how long more do you want to think of this. Limit your time and decide firmly.

If you can take something from someone you also must learn to let go if it's too heavy.

i hope i helped and that it's enlightening for your friend.
Find what is inside herself and not what other people say (they will continue blabing about it.

Regards,
Alan Tan

so did TS fren go to aussie with her bf? i think itz very unfair asking the gf to go or else break up la...threaten like tat , if i was the gf, i would initiate the break...not worth sacrifice for this kind of guys..just my opinion

I think the main determining factor is, is the guy worth it?

Secondly, do we know how long he will be studying in Australia for, depending on what type of Masters, the grades and which uni will determine whether he gets a PR if he chooses to do so.

If it is not too long than I say stay and still keep going out and do the long distance relattionship thing. A friend I met on exchange in HK met up with this girl and they are doing the whole long distance thing been half a yr now still going strong.

If you do move over it does place a huge strain on the relationship because you will rely on the other person a lot - this can cause the relationship to break down and then you could end up resenting the other person - this happened to another friend and they didnt even change countries, just moved from eastern states to western australia.

Also will you like australia? you should be ok if you continue studying there is always a lot of o/s students that you can mix with and most o/s students stick together. Yes possibly it is not as happening as Malaysia but if you meet a good bunch of ppl, can be really fun, plus a lot easier to study.

Prostitution is legal in Australia, but this is so prostitutes will get minimum rights ie that they get paid correctly and have benefits.
To be forced into prostitution is illegal - some of your comments are so funny - i always thought that ppl got forced into prositution in malaysia sometimes. Police are really good too - so this should not influence your decision.

In the end I dont think it is an unreasonable demand - but I would like to know what your bf is giving up in return for the sacrifice that he is asking from his gf - does he view her as a possible wife?

This post has been edited by wongb03: Jun 26 2008, 07:55 PM