One and a half year ago, A broke up with her Ex, they had sex when they were in a relationship, untill the next relationship for A only happened for not long which is known as B.

B was betrayed by his ex and hurt deeply.B told A 3 conditions for their relationship:
1st - Never lie to me
2nd - Never betray me
3rd - Never make him cry, else he will hate A very much.

Actually A personally kind of regret for had sex with her Ex, she worried how her next bf going to judge her, untill a senior of her thought her by lie to the her next BF that she is still a virgin, because after for not having sex for a long time of period, gal's virgina part will bcome tight again.

Eventually A had sex with B, B ask A, is this her 1st time having sex? A actually lie and cheated B that she were, besides oral sex shes still a virgin. B also didn't realize of anything.

This is just the beginning of thier relationship, and A already lie to B which cant fullfill one of his condition... A feel guilt and feel bad to B.. Shall A be honest to B or keep it as a secret forever by treat him much more better to mend her mistake?

Opinion plz...

This post has been edited by Peppy: Mar 28 2008, 12:25 PM

IMHO, better not tell..or it will make thing worst

Better not tell....

yup, since u decide to lie, then just lie till the end. Why u hav to worried about? It just a white lie and it won't cause any harm.

Lets make things easier, A actually love her ex very much, they break up because of violence abuse.

Things become serious when her ex beat her up till bleed, so A decide to leave her ex, cause she deserve a better one.

Before they break up her Ex said he will wait for A no matter when and how is it. At the same time her Ex warn her and threaten her that one day later he will get her back and during that period she cant have sex with others cause she is belong to him. Untill today A's ex still keep on contact A. Thats what A worried about because A hope to stay long with B as she feel that this is the right one for her

This post has been edited by Peppy: Mar 28 2008, 12:46 PM

Things tat u decide to let go, just let it go. Since he ever treat u tat bad and even beat u until u blood, u really should leave him and u deserve a better guy. Why go back since he will beat u again in the future?

Actually i finds B preset condition is kind of too rigid for love. Shouldn't love be unconditional ? and true loves learns to forgive to goes on.
anyway, back to topic, since A already made that statement, she better stick to her word till death lor...
never ever suddenly goes back and admit that she lied.

Since she had an ex before B, i wonder why A takes the trouble to lie ? If B loves A enough, he should understand A more.

Lie and betray should be in a sense that guys don't like their gf takes them for a coo coo ride.

Understood and thnx for the advice.

A choose to lie cause she afraid that B look down on her though he wont.

A just worried that her ex might turn back anytime and cause A problem, datz all wat she worried about.. Ntg much.. He is kind of psycho

report police.. castrate him...

A dishonest relationship will always be a dishonest relationship. Congratulations for screwing up. Either live with that guilt or take the risk and be honest.

U can;t blame the girl for telling white lies.. she just scare. My gf told me a white lies also. she told me tat she is virgin but at the end she confess she is not but i understand her, i didn't scold her wat-so-ever.. i still love her

Thnx for being understanding. I think she choose to confess asap. Cause is hard when there is a knot in between a couple. No matter how is it...

for me, i will choose the keep secret till the end. even if the ex come back and tell, i think B will still choose to believe his own gf compare to the others...if he doesnt, no point staying with such a guy. telling him the truth is breaking his heart. as my bf told me, if 1 day i cheated on him, he pleaded me to keep the secret forever. maybe some will think that he is trying to avoid the problem, but for me, he just want our relationship to be fine.

This post has been edited by pumpkinn: Mar 28 2008, 07:58 PM

Better stay away from the ex as far away as possible.
There are cases of some insane guy who will stalks their ex gf.

wat i would suggest is to ask ur friend A to be honest to B and tell him clearly and nicely...

don live in guilt... and perhaps can also tell about her ex situation currently. . .

such threatening are not suppose to be done by man. her ex is just a freaking chicken. ask ur friend A to totally cut down all contacts from her ex and if possible change hp number or even move to somewhere stay if she renting room outside...

precisely. btw, it wont be easy living up to ur guilt. also, if u do confess the lie, the bf's reaction would indicate how well the relationship is gonna be in the future. the earleir u confess, the better - dont drag it.

just ignore the ex, keep clear from his path, and if anything should go wrong such as he sends u threaten msges or your instincts tell u he's gonna do some crazy shit to u, report to the relevant authorities such as the police. pls do let ur friends know about your situation with ur ex too, very crucial. friends will give you the extra protection you need when you least expect it. dont fear embarrassment because it is not your fault that ur ex is behaving dat way.

ol the girl out there...

nevermind if u lie ur BF for the good things, but u must let him know about ur lie b4 someone tell him..
tis world very fair,if today he doesnt know, may b tomolo o next week o next month...
just take a small risk rather than u take a high risk when he knows the truth..
i've tis experience before...my GF oso do tis..i know the truth from some outsiders..
then, my gf still lie.. at the end, she said to me, she scared to tell me the truth.
and what i said? i said if u said the truth 1st, i will consider that as gift bcoz u honest with me..

if u think wisely, what ur choice?

1 - Lie to ur BF for whole life, and feel guilty for the whole life, and never feel good. ( FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE..)
2 - Take the small risk, tell the truth, then all the things going good and better.not to worry in the future ( FEEL GOOD..HUUH..LONG BREATH)

what ur choice????
.
.
.

This post has been edited by ammaraffandi: Mar 29 2008, 03:01 PM

when relationship of both A & B go deeper, I think it is advisable to tell the truth, because A can't keep the secret forever because she has to think another lie to covered up the previous lie..as the list goes on, so wait till the relationship go deeper (both understanding each other and mature), then tell it because it is good for both party.

as the saying goes, one lie leads to another. so dont start, else before you know it you cant stop anymore.

i think better tell him the truth before he get know from other ppl..i think he will forgive you one..just take a small risk but you can take back more xin fu you want...then just treat him more good after tell him lo...

Yes khoo011..same opinion..
huhu...

ya...

"10 cups is not enough cover 11 eggs"

do remember the chinese folks said

Yea.. I did share with a friend of mine, one which can be trusted. Scolded by my frenz for nt asking the opinion before my lie.. The frenz of mine know my situation as well, things which happened between me and my ex, so if there is anything happen on me, and my current BF - B leave me just because of the lie, at least there is still a friend who will always stand by my side.


It seems tht from you and ricky case, both of you forgiven your gf, why not I give out a try, your forgiveness to ur gf is an encouragement for me to confess, so I know what shall I do. TQ

come clean..

don't wait until both are in stable relationship, almost getting married or later only she confess.. that time.. how the bf is gonna trust her the fact that she lied to him all this while??

No No No, Will get things settle ASAP

good decision....tell us whats the end of story..hehehe

IMO, the conditions set is so rigid la. Come on la love is all about acceptance and understanding. If tht dude refuse to accept u for who u are and your past, to hell with him and screw him.

Sorry if my opinion overlaps. Didn't read thru all here, been reading alot alot

What is the result? Things just happen 3 hours ago, he cant really take it and pissed off for being lied by me. Now wait till he is calm, dan only decide ba

---

Added on April 7, 2008, 9:31 amHmm.. I'm forgiven. At least I got no burden with him for the coming days. I really like him... Hope for the best and thanl you people for d advice

This post has been edited by Peppy: Apr 7 2008, 09:31 AM

yaaa...heppy for U..nah..as i said..
u feel much better rite??

Released ad, feel so good. At least I dun need to hide it so badly just afraid that he might sense something.

good for you then. Now just waiting for his temper to cools down ?

Hmm.. I am too sensitive. Ever since that moment I confessed I think he already forgive me, he just want to know the truth. At least morning before I leave he still give me a hug and ask me to becareful as usual. Now I feel so happy

This post has been edited by Peppy: Apr 7 2008, 03:48 PM

i'm glad for you, as things seems to turns out well.
Just make sure you don't repeat the same mistake again in the future, for he will think you never take it seriously.

I'm glad for you now that you can have better sleep now. As about your ex problems, you need to tell him that he has been harassing you as well. At least, he knows what you have been going through.

Will do.. Anyway thnx for every advice over here. So I can clear my doubt and knot now.

Still got long way to go through

Shall close the topic d

good to hear that..

Hi... Dude over here... For me... Just keep on lying... But for something i cant understand... Why some guy is so big about virginity? The dude goes all around partying and he expect his gf to be virgin? Thats utterly pathetic and sick... Still girls need to tell their guy their a virgin... Well to quote what american pie said... Longer a girl holds her virginity the more pure and decent she will become, the longer a guy holds his virginity the more retarded he will become... Ponder about it...

>>forsworn: ek... she got her solution ady. Problem solved.

ya lor....solved edi...
feel LEGA edi..

after go through A's story, i understand that there are alot dilemmas in btw...
A doesn't wans B to have any kinda negative thought of her,so she choose to lie...it is start from a good point where A actually wants their relationship appear in a better form(i mean a relationship without any black point,who knows the guys would think have had sex before is kinda betrayed?)
n now A worry about the lie will be revealed due to EX...

if i were A, i would choose to tell the truth, but of coz the timing and all the script hav to be prepared in advanced...im sure B will undestand one...

ask yourself if you want someone you love to 'lie' to you should it be black or white lies?

to my point of view... you shoudnt have lie to him about this. No one bother much about virgin or not at nowadays. the most important is she must be honest, loyal and good hearted. Since you have choosen to lie... it is much better to let it be since he did not notice about it... but of course u need to prepare yourself if anything would happen that he might know it from someone else.. then u would probably loose everything... If i were you... i rather tell him the truth than later. at least you guys are still in the beginning stage it wont hurt tat much if he ask for a break... cant blame him much cos... someone lied to him before ...which makes him upset till now.

Actually, I told my bf that he should be honest with me about everything and I'll try to be understanding EXCEPT if he cheated on me with another girl. Even if he cheated just once and regret it he should keep it away from me if he still wants to be in a relationship with me. If he still wants me, I'd rather HE live with the guilt for what he did wrong. Of course if he cheated on me coz he wants to be with that girl then can tell me la...

To me, ignorance is bliss. Love is unconditional? That could be somewhat true between a parent and a child maybe but I find it hard to believe in unconditional love between husbands and wives, simply because you can walk away from that relationship with a divorce. Could you still love someone who has intentionally hurt you physically? Who became a gambling addict and waste away your 10 year savings? Who committed murder against someone you love? Certainly, these are extreme situations, but these are still conditions.

I'm glad that things turn out fine for TS now. Let's hope that he really meant it when he forgave her and not just pushed it to the back of his mind and one day rear its ugly head when things are difficult between the 2 of them. I'm not trying to be a party pooper here, but hope to serve as a warning to a potential situation because I HAVE witnessed a marriage that fell apart because the husband always minded that his wife was not a virgin and one day when things went wrong, he used it as a weapon to hurt her emotionally, although he said that he was OK after she confessed that he was not her first. But 5 years later? It became the firestarter to their divorce....Sad huh? But of course, not all guys are like that, just try the best you can to help him get over it. Not avoid talking about it like the my friend did and one day it just exploded at her face.

A lie is still a lie. If the guy really loves her. He won't mind if she is still a V or not.

Just enjoy your life.....
Nth is bad and nth is good.....

Since she has make her decision that will tell him the thruth after what previously she say is "NO" then go ahead...nth to lose....if that guy break off because of this....what i can say "YOU ARE NOT A GENTALMEN ENOUGH".....Pack your D**K and go back which kampung you are......White lie is not harming any1 since it white -hehe-

So....Leave on Babe.....Be a babe for ever......

Erm.. already settle.. things happened almost one month or even more than that.. We are cool now.

I told him the truth, already confessed. If 5 years later, he dig it out and want to break because of this reason, I will be cool with it and let go, at least now I feel released and no knot which tie me down.

TQ

Hi Peppy,


So you are the person. I'm glad that you confess at last. Lie is still a lie. Lie will to lead you to tell another lie stories. Why not we all just don't tell lie? It's a sin. Be honest and you will be rewarded. I'm happy for you as you have approached the first time of your life. An honest person.


Thank YOu.


P/s: Life goes ON. No Worries !!!

love is soo complicated...

To my knowledge ... Girls usually feel guilty when they're doing something bad or wrong to her partner so its better to tell him because you'll be struggling in the time because of girls' natural good personality but of course there are always exceptions.

Whole different case for boy I think, at least me, if I can go over with a lie, I will do so and most probably won't tell it out.

Love....... It a matter accepting the good and bad side of the person that u love. No matter what she did in the past or do in present. If he love you, he will forget you. Lie...... It got two situation where it consider "good lie" or "bad lie". Good lie mean u cheat a person that because don't want to make him/her feel sad. Bad lie is opposite good lie. You did a good job because u cheat him with "good lie", just because you love him so much and don't want to hurt him. But.... u lost trust on him. You didn't trust him because he told you the 3 condition that you need to fulfill. If love is bind by Rules and Regulation. Love is just like a court where all the lawyer arguing for the case to win. Please don't follow the rule of the game of love.... Love need trust, freedom and care from each other to make a couple happier. Follow your heart to make him feel that you are everything to him. Don't let him put more Rules and Regulation in your love. You can't get happiness is there is Rules.

Now the time has come to realize who you can trust or not...

Tell or dont tell is okay too.
Lying for me is nothing(I admit i like to lie...), but based on 1 thing, the reaosn that make u lie. If lie to harm ppl or hide dark secret, thn thats not good; if lie for thw goods of others, that acceptable.