Religion crashing with bf, sad stress sucks stupid and stonning
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 Feb 27 2008, 09:35 PM
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Senior Member
3,988 posts Joined: Apr 2005 From: KL  
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Well.. Just to share, I experience this religion problem that cause breakup.
To make it simple, I'm Catholic, she's Buddhist. My family is those that rarely go church as if Christian just the name of our religion Her family is very religious Buddhist that follow all sort tradition and belief. Everything went well, till the days her parents found out I'm Christian. Objection, arguement, conflicts... Turn our relation badly. My gf choose to leave me, I let go willingly.  |
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Feb 27 2008, 09:43 PM
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Senior Member
1,061 posts Joined: Jul 2007
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i have alot of friends their parents 1 christian another 1 buddist... i think its ok ler...
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Feb 27 2008, 09:56 PM
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Forum Admin
44,415 posts Joined: Jan 2003  
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QUOTE(jlce10 @ Feb 27 2008, 09:43 PM) i have alot of friends their parents 1 christian another 1 buddist... i think its ok ler... Well just because it's like that doesn't mean it's OK. it's just that some of them don't care about how to follow their religious teachings. Just because one proclaims to be Christian (or any religion for that matter), doesn't mean what he / she practices is what's right or true. Same la, plenty of people claim to be X religion but actually say only. Added on February 27, 2008, 9:57 pmoh btw guys, this is NOT the thread for religious discussion. this is NOT the thread for anyone to come in and start name calling the guy, Mary or her parents. this is NOT the thread for bashing religion. now stick to the point. either learn to give good / proper / sound advice or don't post at all. now keep with it. This post has been edited by goldfries: Feb 27 2008, 09:57 PM |
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Feb 27 2008, 10:11 PM
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Junior Member
179 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: Kuching
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my advice is simple: since ure a christian, do spend some (more) time with the bible, understand it (in your own way) and u will find the answer there. try to enlighten your parents, your bf or any1 else with wat u would find, and with that, u all might have a common understanding.
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Feb 27 2008, 10:18 PM
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Junior Member
67 posts Joined: Jan 2008 
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my bf is catholic and i am buddhist. neither of us intend to convert and neither did we try to influence each other to convert. it's really not a big problem, esp when neither of us are very religious in the first place lol.
anyway u just need to work in out between each other. if neither can accept, then no point anymore. its bye bye |
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Feb 28 2008, 07:18 AM
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Senior Member
2,287 posts Joined: Jun 2007 From: Anno Domini Time Ultra: 1,000,000 Trans Am Attack!
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QUOTE(MaryWong @ Feb 27 2008, 08:40 PM) well, thanks for the advises. And here's the part 2. After yesterday disaster, this morning i talked to him thru msn. telling him that i wont be possible to convert. and I WILL ALSO NEVER WANT TO FORCE anymore. however, he said that what he sees current relationship is for the goodness for our future. he dun want to have a family with many issues. p/s: My family is some kinda strict and not understanding. Especially my mum, but I always believe...I still her daughter, their sister...this relationship will nvr be break up even though i have insist to marry to a man who is not christian. Besides, Child Always WIN. IF the couple is strong. well, i dunno how's our relationship is going on. But, if u said He just wanna be small gas, or making excuses then it wont be possible. Why would he wanna spend so much sorrow in the relationship just try to leave? Direct...Straight away KILL will be better than SLOWLY DIE!!!! aint that better? After making so much noises, arguements... it's some kinda WEIRD!!! --Continue the story--- then after mentioned my intension. he said it is just a suggestion but not to ask me to give answer or convert in NO TIME. well, i said this how also will come in the future... Thus, this is not a relationship that easily to give up as we really spend alot of time with each other...spending every moments together. Is like DADAH d...>_< then, till now... He be quite...and i think he's trying to let it go? P/s: yesterday he did say if i cannot convert then our relationship have no future, what for to continue a relationship that cannot get marry? SOME KINDA JERK LA.... what i think is, RELIGION is important for me... but doesnt have to be important to my partner to force him to become a christian. unless, if i do so, then is to fulfill the wish from the parents. is not my will. being a couple of husband and wife, he said it is important if BOTH having the same religion for better understanding for each other then oni have peaceful family. Well, i kinda stuck here. SAME?BOTH? RELIGION IS a thing that LESS VISUALIZE... a couple being together is ALL ABOUT U AND HIM/HER... that is caring about EACH OTHER either soul and body... THUS, he's aint really know about his religion too...this is why i stuck...coz a person some kinda free thinker why he wanna do this? I SUSPECT it is his parents. As he dad....wat also ask god... even small thing also ask god... the wife also cannot tahan d sigh...so complicated... but i dun mind about this, as long as dun kacau our relationship then I EVERY THING IS OK...  In what theory or forsaken story that tell your bf that if convert, will have a good future bla bla??If converting a religion that gives RM1 mil per day, I'll convert.  (Why not? People are more realistic nowadays. Infact, we should be. Else, where you'll end up to?)Oh ya, some guy are a bit ego where they don't want to trash their repu. So they find a valid excuse and said that you didn't convert bla bla... and leave you. As you know, gossip power are strong enough to kill your mood and lifestyle if you're vunerable to it. |
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Feb 28 2008, 09:07 AM
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Senior Member
8,635 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: Jeonju/Jeollabuk-do 
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QUOTE(goldfries @ Feb 27 2008, 09:56 PM) Same la, plenty of people claim to be X religion but actually say only. I agree.This post has been edited by Raikkonen: Feb 28 2008, 09:08 AM |
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Feb 28 2008, 01:16 PM
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Junior Member
565 posts Joined: Sep 2005
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QUOTE(temptation1314 @ Feb 28 2008, 07:18 AM) In what theory or forsaken story that tell your bf that if convert, will have a good future bla bla??If converting a religion that gives RM1 mil per day, I'll convert. (Why not? People are more realistic nowadays. Infact, we should be. Else, where you'll end up to?)Oh ya, some guy are a bit ego where they don't want to trash their repu. So they find a valid excuse and said that you didn't convert bla bla... and leave you. As you know, gossip power are strong enough to kill your mood and lifestyle if you're vunerable to it. dear TS, I think ur bf hv his own plan for this relationship.. so u hv to prepare for the worse case (touch wood).. n for tis kind of case not to say tat a third party may involve, maybe in tis 2 years time he didnt think of tis religion issue before but now both of u r talking abt getting marry n become a real life partner so he wil thinking more deep inside n further up.. n maybe bcoz of some words tat u hv said hv make him wake up.. |
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Feb 28 2008, 01:24 PM
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Junior Member
93 posts Joined: Jul 2006
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dear TS
sorry to hear abt the dilemma you are in but kudos to you for sticking to your religion n beliefs..unlke some ppl i knwo who give in easily to their bfs altho husband n wife having different religion might pose some problems in the future..for e.g. whose religion shud ur children folo? but then again,if both party are understanding enough and can support each other...i m sure it will work out! true love should be able to withstand all obstacles rite? gd luck to you |
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Feb 28 2008, 04:44 PM
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Junior Member
8 posts Joined: Nov 2007
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QUOTE(MaryWong @ Feb 27 2008, 11:42 AM) Well, well, Christian always insisted their couple to be in the same religious... it same goes to muslims (Islam)i think this have occur several couples. my situation is...He, Buddhist. Me, Christian. At the beginning of the relationship, i once force him to become a christian. but then, i give up coz i dun wanna him to be so difficult in choosing himself and me. so i respect him. now after we together more than 2 years. he now showing up that i must become a buddhist to so we can marry. the thing is, my parents will nvr let us marry if he is not christian. But his parents doesnt have this issue, i guess. so he said, a girl married to a man should follow the man's religion. and must work together as husband and wife and this is been practices since olden days. so i argued, i said this is kinda ridiculous. How can possible you can force me to be something that i dun wanna be? i nvr insist him to become a christian, but now he's forcing me now. There's not respect, discussion and further more. I'm a strong minded woman, who will not be easy to change my decision. Everything issues other than to change my religion i will be fine with it. but why cant he just be tolerate me and stop forcing me? if you are in the situation, wouldnt you will ask that "IF malaysia want every citizens to become MUSLIMS, and you have no freedom to choose ur religion, do you wanna?"  he speechless and say he will leave the country then. i said now is not leave or leave but about the relationship. relationship is not easy to say leave...but it's painful to make a decision that you dun wanna. what do u all think?  but in muslims case, no matter you are the bride or the groom, you must be a muslim if you want to marry your couple. in Christian side however not so strong in this kind of things la... except for Catholics they kind of have a strict rules like Islam... anyway back to your case, you mention that your parents wouldnt agree if you marry non-Christian, so its quite simple here, basically you cant marry him unless he become a Christian... he mention that girl must follow the man religious, this is totally full of crap... religion is there to control human's animal nature... if there are no this kind of laws or control, human will be equals to animals... so what i would like to say here is no matter in what kind of religion you are basically you are praying to God, it just we call Him in a different names... leave the country? different religion married I feel doesnt need to leave the country la... unless if the bride/groom is muslims and you want him/her to change religion to others... because here if your are already a muslim you definitely cant change your religion... Added on February 28, 2008, 4:46 pm QUOTE(NicolasLau @ Feb 27 2008, 11:51 AM) of course a girl married to a man should follow the man's religion =.= wat?no such things... This post has been edited by ken811: Feb 28 2008, 04:46 PM |
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Feb 28 2008, 04:54 PM
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Senior Member
8,650 posts Joined: Sep 2005 From: lolyat
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is that hard to negotiate with him?
for me, i'm a buddhist, if i got a christian girlfriend, i won't force her to become buddhist, is her choice anyway if your bf is muslim, then different story in malaysia :rolleye: |
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Feb 28 2008, 04:57 PM
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Junior Member
8 posts Joined: Nov 2007
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QUOTE(MaryWong @ Feb 27 2008, 08:40 PM) what i think is, RELIGION is important for me... IMHO any kind of religion doesnt matter...but doesnt have to be important to my partner to force him to become a christian. unless, if i do so, then is to fulfill the wish from the parents. is not my will. being a couple of husband and wife, he said it is important if BOTH having the same religion for better understanding for each other then oni have peaceful family. Well, i kinda stuck here. SAME?BOTH? RELIGION IS a thing that LESS VISUALIZE... a couple being together is ALL ABOUT U AND HIM/HER... that is caring about EACH OTHER either soul and body... THUS, he's aint really know about his religion too...this is why i stuck...coz a person some kinda free thinker why he wanna do this? all is the same... all pray to above, God, Allah, Yahwe, or whatever names others call Him... religion is just a NAME, sort of like to group people and make it easier to spread rules, laws, etc that to make HUMAN not equals to animals... anyway, God wont give answers even how many times you ask Him... He will only give you choices, and you decide it by yourself... |
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Feb 28 2008, 08:05 PM
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Junior Member
32 posts Joined: May 2007 From: Kuala Terengganu , Terengganu
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i am muslim and my lovely person is buddhist........hehehehe....3 days ago she call my hp and say the word RINDU hehehe
P:S i am not really good in english thats why look like berterabur here |
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Feb 29 2008, 07:14 PM
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Junior Member
20 posts Joined: Jan 2008 From: Petaling Jaya
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w0w... strange.. If i hvnt followed ur story, i thought u would be 'her'.. lolz..
 Same thing happen except it wasnt me; it was between my fiance & his crazynurse-ex-gf.. (like freaking creepy..) He is Buddhist, she's catholic.. So they both were forcing each other to convert.. hahaha.. Anyways, they dated for bout 3 yrs then split just like that bcuz of religion.. Then 1 yr later, he meet me.. 2 yrs on, we're now getting married this year. I'm a free thinker who believes in Christian and Buddhist.. So i don't care too much when he stop me from converting to christianity, i seldom pray anyways.. Conclusion? Follow ur brain and not ur heart.. I know u dated very long and its good and all, but if either of u cannot accept that to each keep own religion.. this will be getting u nowhere.. unless both of u and ur families can managed to see that its okay to be of mixed marriage.. or who knows wat the future holds? You might end up meeting someone who deserves u.. who wont force u to do things u dont wanna do? Do u really want that in a husband?  Don't be influenced of what he say leave country and all that.. that's call emotional blackmail so dont bend to tat.. well, good luck.. it's ur life decision, nobody can stop u from what u want.. it's ur call |
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Feb 29 2008, 08:47 PM
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Junior Member
249 posts Joined: Jul 2007 From: ~Some where over the rainbow~
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@TS (MaryWong)
sorry malas wan to read the other pages just wanna let u know that somebody hv the same situation wif u but they gt married and still happily rite nw its my fathers fren, my fathers fren wife is a christian while he is a buddhist i nt sure how they manage to get married but rite nw both of them still uphold their own religion, their children is free to choose wheter they wan to be a christian or a buddhist if u wan to get married, i think will be a problem since u said that ur parents cant accept thier in-law to be a non christian u'll just hv to slowly approach ur parents wif ur bf, let them know each other better mayb in the future ur parents will accept him as a buddhist actually we ar considered a free country in religion accept involving islam, u know lar to hv convert in order to get married coz islamic country mah (a MUST, COMPULSARY) but for the others u ar free to choose mah for another example my frens gf is a christian, he's a buddhist they've been dating for 12 years ad, both of their parents hv already accepted them they are the longest couple among my frens, just hv to wait for the wedding nia ehhehehhe approach ur family slowly, dont rush in the future, who knows mayb ur parents will accept him |
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Feb 29 2008, 10:05 PM
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Junior Member
23 posts Joined: Dec 2007 From: Somewhere In Europe
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My dad's a non-believer (my late grandma's a Buddhist) and my mom a Catholic. They've been happily married for 31 years.
When you're in a relationship, it's all about you and your partner, not the religion. God wants you to accept and believe in him, not to force you to convert into a religion you don't want to believe in. Talk to him again and I hope one day he'll understand. Good luck! |
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Mar 1 2008, 11:43 AM
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Junior Member
16 posts Joined: Apr 2006
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QUOTE(goldfries @ Feb 27 2008, 06:30 PM) and probably i can counter-talk him but i'm not into religious debates. I disagree with that. Religion is complicated and people are complicated too. Religion is make up by human being's point..so why religion is simple?since is make up by human?they make up religion thingy and makes human life uneasy. Life is easy for us but we think too much and makes life uneasy to us. you have no scriptural basis or any other proof on that. so better don't simply claim.  there's more to scriptures than you think. Non-believers always refuse to see that. Believers themselves don't see many things. btw there's a whole lot of reason why i don't hang around BnNB in the first place. perhaps that's what he meant but certainly they're not called devils. Added on February 27, 2008, 5:31 pm i disagree. Religion is simple. PEOPLE are complicated. |
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Mar 1 2008, 11:51 AM
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Senior Member
1,810 posts Joined: Mar 2007
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IMO if you guys cant even agree at this point about religion, its not gonna be easy in the future. Even if you manage to compromise about this, what about the future? Your children? etc etc
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Mar 1 2008, 12:17 PM
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Junior Member
421 posts Joined: Mar 2006
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u dont have to be a buddhist to marry a buddhist
where in the world did he get that from? and u dont have to necesarily be a christian to marry a christian, the only con is maybe u cant have a real church wedding.. not like some religious group of ppl are going to come after u and catch u for adultery and all that.. sigh |
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Mar 1 2008, 01:01 PM
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Senior Member
1,137 posts Joined: Mar 2006
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Damn why do people make such a big fuss about religion, I guess from my point of view if you 2 are that deeply in love you 2 can definitely settle this out. Can you 2 give up your religions or accept each other's religion differences and practices???
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