Im just a simple guy who's fed up of hearing:
1) Guys whining about how they are ignored by the girls they are after... even though they were "nice". (read: effiminate, but they didnt know)
2) Guys who claim that girls are all after money.
3) Girls who keep on telling guys that they are looking for some one "nice", "sweet" or "caring". It is not wrong, but tt's not even half the truth.
I have had some experience in relationships and would like to share what i have come to discover over the years. A somewhat abstract summary of the points here can be found HERE
Ladder Theory is a must read as well.
Read the stories in the spoilers then read the principles I deduced from them.
The Guide (scroll down, below the basic principles) does not apply to men who do not fulfill the criteria outlined in the basic 8 principles.
BASIC 8 PRINCIPLES <--README FIRST!!!
True Story
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QUOTE
Let me see how should i start?
I'm a succesfull computer engineer in a growing company which is expanding... I have a very intresting personality, i do not feel akward when i meet anyone new... people in my company loves me because i cheer up the office everytime i come back to the office after my business trips... I feel very happy when people appreciates me...
Talking to girls is not a problem and going for outings with them such as lunch or shopping after work is basically fine with me... I spend a lot of time with girls then boys ! Anyway if i like a girl i will spend more time with them and sometimes i feel that the girl is waiting my move to hold their hand or say something sweet... but this is my problem... i cannot pull the "Trigger" to say I LOVE YOU or even hold that girls hand... This problem has made me lost out in a lot of girls and seeing them going out with other boys...
Whats wrong with me...???
I'm a succesfull computer engineer in a growing company which is expanding... I have a very intresting personality, i do not feel akward when i meet anyone new... people in my company loves me because i cheer up the office everytime i come back to the office after my business trips... I feel very happy when people appreciates me...
Talking to girls is not a problem and going for outings with them such as lunch or shopping after work is basically fine with me... I spend a lot of time with girls then boys ! Anyway if i like a girl i will spend more time with them and sometimes i feel that the girl is waiting my move to hold their hand or say something sweet... but this is my problem... i cannot pull the "Trigger" to say I LOVE YOU or even hold that girls hand... This problem has made me lost out in a lot of girls and seeing them going out with other boys...
Whats wrong with me...???
True Story
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QUOTE
i have posted abt me being rejected last year, it all went okay after that with her. suddenly right up to this moment, shes avoiding me? why now? im totally confused, why didnt she avoided me earlier but now? wtf? I've asked her, and she said yes im avoiding you, im going to keep a distant between us. But seriously, the things that had been through is simply too much, i couldnt accept this, it just came so sudden.
So basically, the conversation between the two of us has somewhat been very awkward and she gets very sensitive over small matters that i do to her. Lets say, i play around with her, she will get mad at me. Im joking with her, she will get sensitive about it. I try to talk to her nicely, her responses were rather vague.
We hang out with the same bunch of people, so there is one guy, lets just call him J. She will be by his side all the time, during meals, movies, outings etc. Before, they werent even close at all, barely known each other. And whenever i tried to talk to her when J is around, she will quickly go over to this J and start talking to him and ignore me like i dont even exist. OK fine, i know people will tell me stay cool and stuff but i just couldnt bare to see. I dunno if this is her tactic to make me leave her even faster? Thats my view so far on her.
Yes, i know some of you guys will say " TS, just forget bout her and move on with your life". The answer is i cant as of now. At this stage, it can be said completely impossible to make her my gf, but thats not the point im creating this thread for. Im only hoping that she can be what she used to be, a caring, kind, adorable, helpful girl that i have known.
What am i suppose to do?
Im completely down and i just need a sensible replies from the forummers here.
And for those who wants to flame me, please go ahead.
Thanks.
So basically, the conversation between the two of us has somewhat been very awkward and she gets very sensitive over small matters that i do to her. Lets say, i play around with her, she will get mad at me. Im joking with her, she will get sensitive about it. I try to talk to her nicely, her responses were rather vague.
We hang out with the same bunch of people, so there is one guy, lets just call him J. She will be by his side all the time, during meals, movies, outings etc. Before, they werent even close at all, barely known each other. And whenever i tried to talk to her when J is around, she will quickly go over to this J and start talking to him and ignore me like i dont even exist. OK fine, i know people will tell me stay cool and stuff but i just couldnt bare to see. I dunno if this is her tactic to make me leave her even faster? Thats my view so far on her.
Yes, i know some of you guys will say " TS, just forget bout her and move on with your life". The answer is i cant as of now. At this stage, it can be said completely impossible to make her my gf, but thats not the point im creating this thread for. Im only hoping that she can be what she used to be, a caring, kind, adorable, helpful girl that i have known.
What am i suppose to do?
Im completely down and i just need a sensible replies from the forummers here.
And for those who wants to flame me, please go ahead.
Thanks.
True Story
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QUOTE
generally, there's this girl i liked alot, and seriosly i mean alot, we knew each other for almost a year now, but we were only quite close for about 2month
in this 2month, really is the moment of my life, we've been true sweat, sad , funny moments.( she already know i like her alot, but we still kinda hang out as mutual friends) but the sad truth is she alway said that i treats her very good but we would be better of being friends and she doesnt have feeling for me
i know that you people will properly advice me to move on and all, but i really dont want to, i really like her so much, i dont want to let her go..NO is not a answer for me
the problem is, recently, it seems that she feels that i am too good to her, and there's thing i should not be involve in, as in i care too much of her, she says that she will get pressured whenever i am around, she doesnt even want to go out with me ( just 2 of us) anymore . and she's getting "fan gan" of the things i did.
sometimes, when i am at her house or anyplace, she doesnt seem to want to talk to me anymore, like being rejective and not as caring and friendly toward me anymore
i felted that our friendship is slowy drifting away, but i really dont know what to do, cause i dont want to see her everyday and in the end she's just my normal friend, i really want to be in a relationship with her.
i really dont know what i can do , to fixs this mess now..
i really want our friendship to be back as lasttime.
in this 2month, really is the moment of my life, we've been true sweat, sad , funny moments.( she already know i like her alot, but we still kinda hang out as mutual friends) but the sad truth is she alway said that i treats her very good but we would be better of being friends and she doesnt have feeling for me
i know that you people will properly advice me to move on and all, but i really dont want to, i really like her so much, i dont want to let her go..NO is not a answer for me
the problem is, recently, it seems that she feels that i am too good to her, and there's thing i should not be involve in, as in i care too much of her, she says that she will get pressured whenever i am around, she doesnt even want to go out with me ( just 2 of us) anymore . and she's getting "fan gan" of the things i did.
sometimes, when i am at her house or anyplace, she doesnt seem to want to talk to me anymore, like being rejective and not as caring and friendly toward me anymore
i felted that our friendship is slowy drifting away, but i really dont know what to do, cause i dont want to see her everyday and in the end she's just my normal friend, i really want to be in a relationship with her.
i really dont know what i can do , to fixs this mess now..
i really want our friendship to be back as lasttime.
Basic Principle 1
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Girls want MEN for sex. They want people with low self esteem and ego as "friends" to talk about emotions and stuff. Explanation: Girls are not sexually attracted to guys who are so nice to a point where they are effectively friends. Think the guys from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Effiminate, soft spoken friendly guys. Some end up being "friends" with the girls they are interested in. The unlucky ones end up becoming cuddle b!tches (see definition below)
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True Story
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QUOTE
Stated serious talk. Please. I'm not in a good mood d. This is the place i can ask for opinion. So pls...no bullshit.
okay, sorry for being rude. i cant stand it..
I try to force myself to writing something coz actually i oso dno whats wrong with her.all happen in a sudden.
Last friday i still went out with her, a normal date that every couple would do it.i sent her home. she gave me a goodbye kiss and said i love u to me. everthing seems fine till the next day.she start ignoring me ( din reply my msg,din pick up my call) till today.
i called more then 10 times and sent her more than 10 sms.
not even one replied.
what happen actually?
okay, sorry for being rude. i cant stand it..
I try to force myself to writing something coz actually i oso dno whats wrong with her.all happen in a sudden.
Last friday i still went out with her, a normal date that every couple would do it.i sent her home. she gave me a goodbye kiss and said i love u to me. everthing seems fine till the next day.she start ignoring me ( din reply my msg,din pick up my call) till today.
i called more then 10 times and sent her more than 10 sms.
not even one replied.
what happen actually?
Basic Principle 2
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Girls want a guy who is not desperate. Explanation: Desperation is a sign that a guy is not dominant: the OPPOSITE of an Alpha Male. A desperate guy is not worth chasing.
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True Story
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QUOTE
Thing happen like for almost 2 month. We be in this relationship for 8 month almost 1 year. Last year was my time for my spm i study hard and overcome my test. Well my gal she the one who going to take this year. From last 2 month back December 1st 2007 she been acting weird. just before last month she call me up and told me. She decided to break off with me and cry for 2 ~ 3 days thinking about it and etc etc. But in the end she say she think over and over she give me 1 more chance to prove that i respect her trust her and many other thing. From that day on ward nothing good happen. She been avoiding me, Nvr call me up, Done nothing as a gf
Status of our relationship
Boy <TS>
Parent : Met before parent satisfy with it
Friend : All know and always support me.
Brother Sister ? : Happy with it. Support me
Love : Love her with all my heart
Sacrifice : When she call up from her house i will drive to buy a single lunch and go over her place and give her and went back home like a stupid guy (Pizza Delivery)
1 Leg on 2 boat : Nvr
Betray her? : NVR
Girl <TS gal>
Parent : Nvr met before, can't even talk to them.
Friend : Only a few know. She say she doesn't want let too many people know.
Brother sister : Brother doesn't know / Sister, YEs in fact her sis Maple charather lvl 100++ kena hack suspect that i'm the one who hack her.
Love : Previous yes. After tat nvr have.
Sacrifice : Yes she does in the first 3 ~4 month after that ... u guy know right ?
1 Leg on 2 boat : Unsure But i believe she won't
Betray Him<ts> : Unsure ;( Not very sure. Sometime i try to trust her but my heart doesn't .. its like a kind of feel i fear
When She sick i wake up middle of midnight cook soup / boil some herbal tea and take over to let her drink the nxt day. Even i doesn't have enough sleep or even i doesn't have vehicle i will Walk about 4~5 km or more to her house ( YES really try before ) or cycle over to her house. Just to let her drink. Everytime i visit her i buy her breakfast. Birthday Purposely went to order a cake from secret recipe and wanna put a maple yeti pic on the cake but not enough time i cancel the order even i had to pay the money without having the yeti (wasted). Gave her my gold necklace which was given from my grand grand mother. Went to langkawi with friend the whole time just paying attention to my phone. Pay for her phone bill, Bought her a phone.
But in the end all i done. I get this result
She avoiding me .. didn't call me up nvr did anything for me right now. When kena accident she nvr call up. Even after 2nd day i accidently just call up and ask me what happen. i get so frustrated and say nothing.
Status of our relationship
Boy <TS>
Parent : Met before parent satisfy with it
Friend : All know and always support me.
Brother Sister ? : Happy with it. Support me
Love : Love her with all my heart
Sacrifice : When she call up from her house i will drive to buy a single lunch and go over her place and give her and went back home like a stupid guy (Pizza Delivery)
1 Leg on 2 boat : Nvr
Betray her? : NVR
Girl <TS gal>
Parent : Nvr met before, can't even talk to them.
Friend : Only a few know. She say she doesn't want let too many people know.
Brother sister : Brother doesn't know / Sister, YEs in fact her sis Maple charather lvl 100++ kena hack suspect that i'm the one who hack her.
Love : Previous yes. After tat nvr have.
Sacrifice : Yes she does in the first 3 ~4 month after that ... u guy know right ?
1 Leg on 2 boat : Unsure But i believe she won't
Betray Him<ts> : Unsure ;( Not very sure. Sometime i try to trust her but my heart doesn't .. its like a kind of feel i fear
When She sick i wake up middle of midnight cook soup / boil some herbal tea and take over to let her drink the nxt day. Even i doesn't have enough sleep or even i doesn't have vehicle i will Walk about 4~5 km or more to her house ( YES really try before ) or cycle over to her house. Just to let her drink. Everytime i visit her i buy her breakfast. Birthday Purposely went to order a cake from secret recipe and wanna put a maple yeti pic on the cake but not enough time i cancel the order even i had to pay the money without having the yeti (wasted). Gave her my gold necklace which was given from my grand grand mother. Went to langkawi with friend the whole time just paying attention to my phone. Pay for her phone bill, Bought her a phone.
But in the end all i done. I get this result
She avoiding me .. didn't call me up nvr did anything for me right now. When kena accident she nvr call up. Even after 2nd day i accidently just call up and ask me what happen. i get so frustrated and say nothing.
True Story
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QUOTE
generally, there's this girl i liked alot, and seriosly i mean alot, we knew each other for almost a year now, but we were only quite close for about 2month
in this 2month, really is the moment of my life, we've been true sweat, sad , funny moments.( she already know i like her alot, but we still kinda hang out as mutual friends) but the sad truth is she alway said that i treats her very good but we would be better of being friends and she doesnt have feeling for me
i know that you people will properly advice me to move on and all, but i really dont want to, i really like her so much, i dont want to let her go..NO is not a answer for me
the problem is, recently, it seems that she feels that i am too good to her, and there's thing i should not be involve in, as in i care too much of her, she says that she will get pressured whenever i am around, she doesnt even want to go out with me ( just 2 of us) anymore . and she's getting "fan gan" of the things i did.
sometimes, when i am at her house or anyplace, she doesnt seem to want to talk to me anymore, like being rejective and not as caring and friendly toward me anymore
i felted that our friendship is slowy drifting away, but i really dont know what to do, cause i dont want to see her everyday and in the end she's just my normal friend, i really want to be in a relationship with her.
i really dont know what i can do , to fixs this mess now..
i really want our friendship to be back as lasttime
in this 2month, really is the moment of my life, we've been true sweat, sad , funny moments.( she already know i like her alot, but we still kinda hang out as mutual friends) but the sad truth is she alway said that i treats her very good but we would be better of being friends and she doesnt have feeling for me
i know that you people will properly advice me to move on and all, but i really dont want to, i really like her so much, i dont want to let her go..NO is not a answer for me
the problem is, recently, it seems that she feels that i am too good to her, and there's thing i should not be involve in, as in i care too much of her, she says that she will get pressured whenever i am around, she doesnt even want to go out with me ( just 2 of us) anymore . and she's getting "fan gan" of the things i did.
sometimes, when i am at her house or anyplace, she doesnt seem to want to talk to me anymore, like being rejective and not as caring and friendly toward me anymore
i felted that our friendship is slowy drifting away, but i really dont know what to do, cause i dont want to see her everyday and in the end she's just my normal friend, i really want to be in a relationship with her.
i really dont know what i can do , to fixs this mess now..
i really want our friendship to be back as lasttime
Basic Principle 3
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Girls hate to be smothered/suffocated with too much attention. Explanation: Such attention is a pretty sure sign of insecurity / desperation / weakness / non-dominance. Of course, the guy would say that it is because he loves her bla bla bla... but in reality, she's the only thing he's got going for him. A socially dominant guy does not revolve around his girl. He HAS A LIFE... he pwns others in sports, or makes alot of money.. whatever your definition of social dominance is. Girls are not sexually attracted to guys who dont have a life.
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True Story
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QUOTE
Good guy here.
You see, everytime I want to become a bad guy, a girl always know that I'm faking it.
The only natural moments I have is when I'm a good guy.
Girls don't need good guys don't they? Is either they choose bad guys, or good guys who pretends to be bad guys.
But how do you pretend to be someone you're not? And since being a bad guy is the best solution for girls to like you, then how come they always know that you're not being yourself?
For the girls to be happy, I think all good guys should kill themselves. Life will be much easier.
You see, everytime I want to become a bad guy, a girl always know that I'm faking it.
The only natural moments I have is when I'm a good guy.
Girls don't need good guys don't they? Is either they choose bad guys, or good guys who pretends to be bad guys.
But how do you pretend to be someone you're not? And since being a bad guy is the best solution for girls to like you, then how come they always know that you're not being yourself?
For the girls to be happy, I think all good guys should kill themselves. Life will be much easier.
Basic Principle 4
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Girls like guys who are dominant. You can be as nice as you want, but as long as you are a "nice" footstool, girls will not be attracted to you. In other words, put your balls on the table and talk and girls would start to respect you and view you as a prospective partner (ie. someone they would like to sleep with. Note: being dominant doesnt mean being a jerk/bad guy.
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True Story
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QUOTE
Greetings
Okay, long story short, I am single, and I fall in love with my best friend. But sadly she already got boyfriend sad.gif
Well actually its okay. I'm actually really glad if she is happy.
But nowadays, I can sense something wrong with her. She sometimes get jealous when I hang out with someone, like she has feeling on me.
Some additional story to explain why do I think she has feeling on me smile.gif
last time, i like this one girl..since she is my bestfriend, i discussed with her about that, and she did encouraged me to confess it to her..it was her friend btw..
so after i confessed, i got rejected..no problem, life goes on..we (me and that gurl i confessed to) still friends, like usual..
one time, when we were YMing, i only YMed this gurl, but not my best friend..
as a result, she avoided my cl and didnt reply my sms..so after convinced her, she said that she "touching" with me becoz of not YMing her that time.
and 1 more worst situation, just happened recently..i called both of them to hang out last weekend..but sadly my bestfriend didnt pickup the call, maybe she was asleep, so i just hanged out with that girl..and then, after knew we were hanging out, she totally avoided my sms and call, she even switched off her hp..
and suddenly i found her at Plaza Alam Sentral, so we met..from her face and body expression, i can totally felt that she is kinda uncomfortable seeing me..
so i was actually kinda mad with her attitude, the i went home..
she smsed, i didnt reply..then she called, we discussed..she told me that she is totally angry with me becoz hanging out with her..
i kinda knew the answer, but i still asked, but she didnt want to answer..
the call ended with not-too happy ending..we forgave each other, and we are still friends, but she still dont want to explain why she was angry..
so basically from all that happened, im not sure, but i can feel that she likes me, even she already got bf
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So what should I do guys? Should we meet up and discuss about this matter seriously?
I don't mind what her answer might be. Its ok if she does like me, and it also ok if she doesnt. All I want is to be her frined smile.gif
Hope to get some help here. I'm really appreciate it.
Thanks
Okay, long story short, I am single, and I fall in love with my best friend. But sadly she already got boyfriend sad.gif
Well actually its okay. I'm actually really glad if she is happy.
But nowadays, I can sense something wrong with her. She sometimes get jealous when I hang out with someone, like she has feeling on me.
Some additional story to explain why do I think she has feeling on me smile.gif
last time, i like this one girl..since she is my bestfriend, i discussed with her about that, and she did encouraged me to confess it to her..it was her friend btw..
so after i confessed, i got rejected..no problem, life goes on..we (me and that gurl i confessed to) still friends, like usual..
one time, when we were YMing, i only YMed this gurl, but not my best friend..
as a result, she avoided my cl and didnt reply my sms..so after convinced her, she said that she "touching" with me becoz of not YMing her that time.
and 1 more worst situation, just happened recently..i called both of them to hang out last weekend..but sadly my bestfriend didnt pickup the call, maybe she was asleep, so i just hanged out with that girl..and then, after knew we were hanging out, she totally avoided my sms and call, she even switched off her hp..
and suddenly i found her at Plaza Alam Sentral, so we met..from her face and body expression, i can totally felt that she is kinda uncomfortable seeing me..
so i was actually kinda mad with her attitude, the i went home..
she smsed, i didnt reply..then she called, we discussed..she told me that she is totally angry with me becoz hanging out with her..
i kinda knew the answer, but i still asked, but she didnt want to answer..
the call ended with not-too happy ending..we forgave each other, and we are still friends, but she still dont want to explain why she was angry..
so basically from all that happened, im not sure, but i can feel that she likes me, even she already got bf
=====================================================================
So what should I do guys? Should we meet up and discuss about this matter seriously?
I don't mind what her answer might be. Its ok if she does like me, and it also ok if she doesnt. All I want is to be her frined smile.gif
Hope to get some help here. I'm really appreciate it.
Thanks
Basic Principle 5
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Girls want guys who are the object of desire of other girls. Explanation: I know it sounds counter-intuitive. If you are a guy who is sought after by other girls, or have the potential to ask out a number of reasonably attractive girls, then the girl that you are interested in would be much more likely to want to go out with you, even if she's already seeing someone else! Assuming that the "someone else" is less socially dominant and less sought after than you.
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True Story
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QUOTE
Two yrs ago I got chase this girl , "GND" (Gal-next-door type), this gal from Cat City, werks in KL, is nice fair gal with long hair, girl-next-door type, wub.gif wub.gif
and she is friends wif me, we got hang out in group, so I got buy gifts for her, ask her out, she got go wif me , but i was totaly nuts over her, dunno why, more so than others gal i met b4 ...
Then I got confess to her, she sked, avoid me ... so I tutup kes, emo a bit and move on lar ...
Lately, she got call me, say meet up, I meet up yumcha (no MLM, whew...)
So she said, hows things lar.. she single now (i asked, of course), she say just relaxing being single,
but her attittude to me is change from before, for long time she avoid me, nvr answer my call, go out in group she try not to talk to me, i also biarla, cos group of frens, i also avoid going if i knoes she go...
She'll MSN me now every once in a while, ask me makan edi, what i do weekend...
So I feels, hey, relationship is a funny thing, even if there is attraction, but come different time, is it fated not be together? while now i am single, i edi moved on, with diff focus and expectations...
I not to say lansi, just that its about timing ...
right feel, right time for both party is important, u guys opinion? any of u same case, where the timing was wrong altogether?
and she is friends wif me, we got hang out in group, so I got buy gifts for her, ask her out, she got go wif me , but i was totaly nuts over her, dunno why, more so than others gal i met b4 ...
Then I got confess to her, she sked, avoid me ... so I tutup kes, emo a bit and move on lar ...
Lately, she got call me, say meet up, I meet up yumcha (no MLM, whew...)
So she said, hows things lar.. she single now (i asked, of course), she say just relaxing being single,
but her attittude to me is change from before, for long time she avoid me, nvr answer my call, go out in group she try not to talk to me, i also biarla, cos group of frens, i also avoid going if i knoes she go...
She'll MSN me now every once in a while, ask me makan edi, what i do weekend...
So I feels, hey, relationship is a funny thing, even if there is attraction, but come different time, is it fated not be together? while now i am single, i edi moved on, with diff focus and expectations...
I not to say lansi, just that its about timing ...
right feel, right time for both party is important, u guys opinion? any of u same case, where the timing was wrong altogether?
Basic Principle 6
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If a girl rejects you. Turn around and dont look back. She may come back if circumstances change. Even if you are rejected initially, take it like a man, ignore her, and eventually she will respect you for ignoring her and may come back when circumstances change. Explanation: Single girls get more insecure as they get older. They know that their beauty is fading. By their late 20s, seeing how the elligable bachelors are all being snapped up, a slightly above average girl who was a hot catch in her teens, but is still single, will look back at potential partners.
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True Story - A Lady's Opinion
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QUOTE
I MUST find someone that has the same intelligence if not higher/better than mine. i don't know why but i need my boyfriend to be smarter than me(but i think that it's quite easy to find one coz i don't think i'm that smart either ). i feel proud to have a smart boyfriend
being the not-so-pretty me, i do set standards for both character and looks. it would be effin fake for me to say looks would not be important because it is important. of course i do not need to have tht brad pitt look or george clooney charm kinda boyfriend. but i do need my boyfriend to be presentable and be able to look good at times when needed(when? up to my very own preference). i wouldn't wanna be walking around with an empty vessel with only looks but nothing in the inside.
and yes, boyf is quite smart(i think). being the straight A's student but he's with me, the not so intelligent one. but we're doing quite well in sustaining(till now )
being the not-so-pretty me, i do set standards for both character and looks. it would be effin fake for me to say looks would not be important because it is important. of course i do not need to have tht brad pitt look or george clooney charm kinda boyfriend. but i do need my boyfriend to be presentable and be able to look good at times when needed(when? up to my very own preference). i wouldn't wanna be walking around with an empty vessel with only looks but nothing in the inside.
and yes, boyf is quite smart(i think). being the straight A's student but he's with me, the not so intelligent one. but we're doing quite well in sustaining(till now )
Basic Principle 7
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Finally, yes. Brains does matter. No girl likes to be the intelectually dominant partner. They want someone they could talk to and get an intelligent response. Note that the lady mentioned that she does set standards for both character and looks - there is a reason why this is principle no 7 and not principle no 1. Also note that she put "I MUST" in caps. Yes, it's quite an important point. Coming to think of it, I dont know of any guy who's dating a girl significantly more intellectual than he is. Do you? However, keep in mind that intellectual dominance must not be confused with "nice guy" effeminate chitter chatter. Speak wise. She will respect you for it.
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True Story - Another lady. On communication.
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QUOTE
And so I've learned that there is such a thing as PM limits in LYN. Sorry I can't reply to those who have PM-ed so far.
Um... it's nice to see my thread getting quite heart-to-heart. I'm pretty sure I'm not out looking for my one true love via LYN. But I'm open to anything. I guess I won't have high expectations... what am I expecting from ppl who hang out on LYN all the time?
I have to say for the most part, you're all pretty genuine...
I'll be online for the next 40 mins or so. What we can do of course is have an audio chat ...I can hear how you speak. Some of you don't type very good English... sooooo... that's a bit of a letdown.
Um... it's nice to see my thread getting quite heart-to-heart. I'm pretty sure I'm not out looking for my one true love via LYN. But I'm open to anything. I guess I won't have high expectations... what am I expecting from ppl who hang out on LYN all the time?
I have to say for the most part, you're all pretty genuine...
I'll be online for the next 40 mins or so. What we can do of course is have an audio chat ...I can hear how you speak. Some of you don't type very good English... sooooo... that's a bit of a letdown.
Basic Principle 8
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Yes, basic language/communication skills apply. Explanation: This story comes from a lady who had numerous guys contact her on MSN over just a few days. She is now considering using audio chat. Why? Simple, you can tell alot about a person from the way they speak. Language is subjective, but approaching a girl in her mother tongue is a good idea. She is disappointed that some guys couldnt even chat properly - they are unlikely to be much better with audio chat - and subsequently, in real life.
Note: It doesnt matter what language you are using. If the lady's mother tongue is malay, and you are fluent in malay, then use it to the best of your ability. Avoid using broken language. Sometimes, trying to sound cool just ends up being childish or lame. It is advisable to use the lady's mother tongue if you are good at it. Otherwise, stick to the language you are familiar and confident with. Avoid broken language.
Note: It doesnt matter what language you are using. If the lady's mother tongue is malay, and you are fluent in malay, then use it to the best of your ability. Avoid using broken language. Sometimes, trying to sound cool just ends up being childish or lame. It is advisable to use the lady's mother tongue if you are good at it. Otherwise, stick to the language you are familiar and confident with. Avoid broken language.
Let The Hunt Begin!
Under construction... Check back frequently!
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True Story
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QUOTE
A guy, past his mid 20s, is looking for a serious relationship. He 5ft 6" and under 60kg. Quite skinny for a guy his age and he does not have a very attractive body. He is simply an average joe working in the IT sector. He's looking for love online, and wants a girl who is quite slim and attractive (~55kg, ~5ft 5"). However, it is unlikely that his online attempt would be successful as many girls who fit the criteria he specifies would already be taken/unavailable.
Keeping It Real
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Many people are quite arrogant when it comes to relationships. They expect their ideal partner to show up one day and fall for them. They dont realize that in the real world, their own attractiveness also makes a difference in the choices they would have. If you are a really pretty lady with a decent personality, you can afford to be choosy as guys would be falling for you all the time. Hence, if you are a guy going after the pretty lady, you must be more attractive than all the other guys also going after her. Looks does matter asides from the basic principles mentioned above. Nobody can tell you what your standard should be, but as a rough guide, if you are finding it impossible to get a date with the girls you are interested in, you should consider lowering your standard to a point where you are comfortable.
True Story
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QUOTE
well...i have a crush toward my colluegue who is 10 year elder then me...okok i seek a lot advice frm frenz and most told me age is not a issue nowadays as long both thinking can cope with each other...but i just worry duno wat he think and mayb he might just treat me as his sister.. he is very seriuos in his work and didnt talk to other people much...oway the cool and serious face in office seldom smile...in other word he is 1 level up then us(boss)....his daily life is go office work at 8am and finish work 5pm then mostly stay at office till 8pm oni go home...after home he rest and go eat wif his housemate then watch tv and dat da call off the day...
dis few week i started to know more bout him and start chat wif him and sms wif him eventually he did reply me and we have gone out to have dinner few times togather :)after da dinner we know each other better...but the part i confuse is sometime i sms him he din reply me...and oway is i sms him 1st and oso to invite or ask him for dinner...he never ask me have dinner b4 or sms me ...oni work related sms he oway sent to me ...
yesterday he is sick and have flu and i m happy i brave enough to make him a bottle of herbal tea and gave him to drink to cure his flu... ...he accept and he say tq 2 me...i m so happy when he say dat 2 me...duno why but i juz feel so nice....when we talk and eat dinner togather he is very casual wif me and joke wif me oso...but in office of coz we dun talk much coz i dunwan ppl say he bias to me...and my colluegue told me dat is some rumours spread around us coz when we have gathering dinner he fetch me gather in his car oni me n him...dat nite 1 of my colluegue ask him this question :what relationship both of you? but he juz kept quiet and ignore her question...
in other colluegue eyes,he is known as very stright and serious in his work and coz he staying wif his housemate and oway go work 2gather so they once say he is gay...although all dat i have heard but he juz simply captured my eye and heart...after few time dinner and casual chatting wif him i can say he is not a romantic guy but he is caring and can give me secure feeling and i feel comfortable wif him...as i get to know frm his close housemate...so far he never date any gul or go out wif any gul yet...and frm his hp inbox msg(accidently open coz take his phone play game and he ask me keep his phone for him)...he oni sms wif me....
but i m so confuse when i sms him sometime he dun reply me...my friend say he might busy but anyhow oso at least can reply a sms rite?hrm....confuse and i duno wheather he know i have feeling toward him onot...my frenz say he does know coz if he duno he wont ignore the rumours and will be avoilding me and wont have dinner wif me alone...
a noob question to guys...if a gul ask u out for dinner few time and make u a bottle of herbal tea when u sick then sent sms to concern about u..will u guy know or sense that the gul like u or have crush on u?
aarrghh....i m so confuse here...i duno wat to do now...he is flying back to kuching tonight and away for 2 weeks oni back to work...wat should i do
to let him know i have a crush on him?i m fear to tell him straight face to face...oso i duno wat he will think of our age gap...or he proberly juz treat me as his sister ..wat should i do?haiz
dis few week i started to know more bout him and start chat wif him and sms wif him eventually he did reply me and we have gone out to have dinner few times togather :)after da dinner we know each other better...but the part i confuse is sometime i sms him he din reply me...and oway is i sms him 1st and oso to invite or ask him for dinner...he never ask me have dinner b4 or sms me ...oni work related sms he oway sent to me ...
yesterday he is sick and have flu and i m happy i brave enough to make him a bottle of herbal tea and gave him to drink to cure his flu... ...he accept and he say tq 2 me...i m so happy when he say dat 2 me...duno why but i juz feel so nice....when we talk and eat dinner togather he is very casual wif me and joke wif me oso...but in office of coz we dun talk much coz i dunwan ppl say he bias to me...and my colluegue told me dat is some rumours spread around us coz when we have gathering dinner he fetch me gather in his car oni me n him...dat nite 1 of my colluegue ask him this question :what relationship both of you? but he juz kept quiet and ignore her question...
in other colluegue eyes,he is known as very stright and serious in his work and coz he staying wif his housemate and oway go work 2gather so they once say he is gay...although all dat i have heard but he juz simply captured my eye and heart...after few time dinner and casual chatting wif him i can say he is not a romantic guy but he is caring and can give me secure feeling and i feel comfortable wif him...as i get to know frm his close housemate...so far he never date any gul or go out wif any gul yet...and frm his hp inbox msg(accidently open coz take his phone play game and he ask me keep his phone for him)...he oni sms wif me....
but i m so confuse when i sms him sometime he dun reply me...my friend say he might busy but anyhow oso at least can reply a sms rite?hrm....confuse and i duno wheather he know i have feeling toward him onot...my frenz say he does know coz if he duno he wont ignore the rumours and will be avoilding me and wont have dinner wif me alone...
a noob question to guys...if a gul ask u out for dinner few time and make u a bottle of herbal tea when u sick then sent sms to concern about u..will u guy know or sense that the gul like u or have crush on u?
aarrghh....i m so confuse here...i duno wat to do now...he is flying back to kuching tonight and away for 2 weeks oni back to work...wat should i do
to let him know i have a crush on him?i m fear to tell him straight face to face...oso i duno wat he will think of our age gap...or he proberly juz treat me as his sister ..wat should i do?haiz
Keeping Cool
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Predators hunt in the wild. Making too much noise while approaching your prey scares them away (they would think you are desperate/non-dominant). So, keep cool. Like the wolf stalking it's prey, the predator knows to keep his distance. Dont fall head over heels just because a girl shows interest in you. The more you elude the girl the more she would try to unravel your mysteries. Hence, play it cool. Ask her out. Dont ever give her the impression that you're desperate for her - that is a sign of weakness. Take your time replying SMSes/MSN/YM/emails. When you bump into her, just say hi. That is your bait. Wait for her to call. What if she doesnt contact you? Well, keep working on the basic 8 principles - you arent attractive enough yet to get a response from the girl. The girl knows she can do better and wont go after you.
True Story
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It's a cool autumn night, Jenny is in the car beside you. You are driving around looking for a place to eat at 12am. It's a public holiday and the usual midnight hangouts are closed. On the way back, she asks you about a girl whom you were once courting... You start to panic: What does she know? What could she know? She then tells you that she knows many of the people whom you know are within social groups of people who know your history...
It's A Small World After All: Discretion...
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Girls talk. Guys think that by confessing their love etc etc they are making a good move by letting the girl aware of their interest in them. What they dont realize is that it WILL haunt them in the years to come for the simple reason that Girls Talk!! Yup, they invented the internet before the guys at DARPA. It's called Girl-net, and it operates at a speed we internet users cant even begin to comprehend!
True Story
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QUOTE(vey99 @ Mar 21 2008, 10:37 AM)
On behalf of my fren, Fire.
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I currently chase these two gal, April and June. April is eng ed gal, June is chinese ed gal, both also I love, we very ngam, steady chat, go out dating a bit ...
Last nite, I MSN wif both of them at same time, and wif a few other ppl also. I salah send this message to June, that was meant for April:
Fire: "Ei, so tmrw nite, gimme a sneak preview, tell me waht u gonna wear la, i very excite la... (L) (L)"
June: ??? 你不是告诉我你明天没有时间见我吗??? (dint u say tmrw u not free see me?)
Fire: (PANIC)
June: 你... 是不是对别个女孩说话??? (r u talking with another gal???)
Fire: 开玩笑啦... 没有啦... (i joking lar, dun have)
June: 王八蛋!! 你以为我白痴的??? (bstard! u think i idiot??)
Then she offline dy ... chia lat
I try sms, call, she dun answer, .... how to recover??? I really liek her
Mebbe a little more than April oso ... anyone can help me find recovery method ...
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I currently chase these two gal, April and June. April is eng ed gal, June is chinese ed gal, both also I love, we very ngam, steady chat, go out dating a bit ...
Last nite, I MSN wif both of them at same time, and wif a few other ppl also. I salah send this message to June, that was meant for April:
Fire: "Ei, so tmrw nite, gimme a sneak preview, tell me waht u gonna wear la, i very excite la... (L) (L)"
June: ??? 你不是告诉我你明天没有时间见我吗??? (dint u say tmrw u not free see me?)
Fire: (PANIC)
June: 你... 是不是对别个女孩说话??? (r u talking with another gal???)
Fire: 开玩笑啦... 没有啦... (i joking lar, dun have)
June: 王八蛋!! 你以为我白痴的??? (bstard! u think i idiot??)
Then she offline dy ... chia lat
I try sms, call, she dun answer, .... how to recover??? I really liek her
Mebbe a little more than April oso ... anyone can help me find recovery method ...
So you think you're a player...
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You see it in the movies, you see it in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. No, it does not usually happen in real llife. Im sure some highly attractive/rich/socially_dominant/powerful/elligable bachelors can hit on more than one girl and get away with it. But face it, a huge majority of guys cant even get the courage to hit on one girl. So let's get realistic and not bee to egoistial. Hitting on more than one lady at a time is suicide. As per point above, girls talk, and if you think you can get away with it, you are gravely mistaken. The guys who do get away with it are so dominant/powerful/rich that their partners actually dont mind (eg. our ex health minister's wife actually stood by him ). Are you a minister? I think not... so better stick to one at a time.
Dont get me wrong though, if you are still single and playing the field, it's ok to give the more than one lady subliminal clues that you are interested in her - so long as it's SUBLIMINAL. A bouquet of roses is NOT subliminal. You will be surprised how fast news of the roses would spread to every available girl in your social circle in a few days. An extra second of eye contact and a slight smile is subliminal. The girl would "think" that you are interested in her, but can never say for sure. Ladies tend to keep their intuitions to themselves - it's a good thing.
Dont get me wrong though, if you are still single and playing the field, it's ok to give the more than one lady subliminal clues that you are interested in her - so long as it's SUBLIMINAL. A bouquet of roses is NOT subliminal. You will be surprised how fast news of the roses would spread to every available girl in your social circle in a few days. An extra second of eye contact and a slight smile is subliminal. The girl would "think" that you are interested in her, but can never say for sure. Ladies tend to keep their intuitions to themselves - it's a good thing.
True Story
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QUOTE(aaronoid @ Jan 22 2008, 08:38 PM)
Recently I had a crush on this girl, who is a very independent girl. She is one of the top scores in my degree classes, she has been president for many situations.... and I cant seem to get to her Shes on the plump side but her smile just melts me down.
She tells me that she currently has nobody on her mind. I dare not tell her how I feel about her as she has shown not much interest in me, she only treats me like a friend. Whats more is that we've agreed to be group members for a number of our assignments, I'm afraid if it turns sour things might really get screwed up.
A few months later...She tells me that she currently has nobody on her mind. I dare not tell her how I feel about her as she has shown not much interest in me, she only treats me like a friend. Whats more is that we've agreed to be group members for a number of our assignments, I'm afraid if it turns sour things might really get screwed up.
QUOTE(aaronoid @ Mar 26 2008, 07:37 PM)
Some of you may have seen my last thread few months back~ you can read it up here.
http://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=617423&hl
I took some advise... and wait... and get closer to her. We did get closer.. but...
I'm starting to feel stupid going after her. Day in day out I do my best to keep her happy. I find ways to help her. I listen to her troubles. I listen to her anger when shes angry at others. Practically.. I'm there for her almost everytime she needs me.
She calls me up when she has a problem, but pushes me away when I'm not needed....
Most of the time when I'm with her friends or just with the company of someone else.... she tends to just... leave me out.
But when I'm alone with her... she gives me attention.
fark.. I feel like I'm just a toy, use to hug when its a rainy day, pushed into the closet during the other days.... I just want to be appreciated by her once in a while... *sigh*
http://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=617423&hl
I took some advise... and wait... and get closer to her. We did get closer.. but...
I'm starting to feel stupid going after her. Day in day out I do my best to keep her happy. I find ways to help her. I listen to her troubles. I listen to her anger when shes angry at others. Practically.. I'm there for her almost everytime she needs me.
She calls me up when she has a problem, but pushes me away when I'm not needed....
Most of the time when I'm with her friends or just with the company of someone else.... she tends to just... leave me out.
But when I'm alone with her... she gives me attention.
fark.. I feel like I'm just a toy, use to hug when its a rainy day, pushed into the closet during the other days.... I just want to be appreciated by her once in a while... *sigh*
The CuddleB!tch Dilemma: NEVER be a "friend".
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Things go bad, very bad, when a lady starts to dominate a relationship. You see, ladies arent sexually attracted to footstools, although footstools are handy to rest their tired legs after chasing other guys. Notice in the example above, this poor soul broke every principle I've mentioned so far? He became an emotional footstool. Im sure she considers him a "nice guy" to talk to, but as a partner in bed? Hell no. She enjoys socializing with other people more than with him! This means that she is still playing the field.
So he is left clueless why she doesnt seem interested in him even though he has "been there for her" and showered her with lots of attention. Girls dont want attention. They subconsciously want to be dominated. NO, not BDSM kinky type domination. I mean, they want to feel secure around a guy. A rock solid shoulder (figuratively) to cry on rather than an empathetic wuss to cry with - that's usually the role of girlfriends and gayfriends.
Leave her to fend for herself. Dont speak too much to her. But dont ignore her either. Let her speak - yet do not let her dominate the conversation. She is taking your time! NEVER let her get the impression that your time is infinite. This guy probably chatted for hours on the phone trying to empathize with the girl. Bad idea. Keep things short and simple. Listen to her problem. Say a few words confidently. NEVER let the conversation drag or hang or lull... I'd hang up after 5 minutes.
This guy's social life also probably revolves around the girl. (see basic principle #3)
The girl couldnt stand it and tries to have her own social life.
I'll say it again, if you focus on the girl to a point where you neglect your friends, she may start to have a low opinion of you as she will start to feel suffocated by all the attention given to her. So have an active social life so she knows she is with someone who is connected and (preferably) dominant within a social circle (eg. football captain)
^above is quite a common problem with "first love" couples. The guy forgets his friends to a point where his social standing drops, and along with it, the girl's respect for the guy.
So he is left clueless why she doesnt seem interested in him even though he has "been there for her" and showered her with lots of attention. Girls dont want attention. They subconsciously want to be dominated. NO, not BDSM kinky type domination. I mean, they want to feel secure around a guy. A rock solid shoulder (figuratively) to cry on rather than an empathetic wuss to cry with - that's usually the role of girlfriends and gayfriends.
Leave her to fend for herself. Dont speak too much to her. But dont ignore her either. Let her speak - yet do not let her dominate the conversation. She is taking your time! NEVER let her get the impression that your time is infinite. This guy probably chatted for hours on the phone trying to empathize with the girl. Bad idea. Keep things short and simple. Listen to her problem. Say a few words confidently. NEVER let the conversation drag or hang or lull... I'd hang up after 5 minutes.
This guy's social life also probably revolves around the girl. (see basic principle #3)
The girl couldnt stand it and tries to have her own social life.
I'll say it again, if you focus on the girl to a point where you neglect your friends, she may start to have a low opinion of you as she will start to feel suffocated by all the attention given to her. So have an active social life so she knows she is with someone who is connected and (preferably) dominant within a social circle (eg. football captain)
^above is quite a common problem with "first love" couples. The guy forgets his friends to a point where his social standing drops, and along with it, the girl's respect for the guy.
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QUOTE
You've been seeing this girl for awhile. One day, when you are with her alone, you make a move. She doesnt reject you so you keep on going. But she does not reciprocate (return the affection) either. Days later she confesses by internet chat that she has someone else in mind... You've spent quite alot of time/money/effort on this girl and you are pretty upset. Not to mention very very hurt as you had high hopes on her.
The Worst Kind Of Girls To Date
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Sometimes you would not know what to make of a girl's responses. I mean, she did let you take her out and put your arm around her in the cinema. However, ALARM BELLS should ring if you notice the following:
1) She does not reciprocate/return your moves. eg. you put your arm around her. she does not put her arm around you.
2) She avoids talking about the future / making plans.
3) She does not initiate contact often enough. (subjective, but you get the idea)
4) It takes alot of time before you could even make an initial move.
Girls are awfully indecisive when it comes to relationships. Every girl wants their prince charming. If you are going out with a girl in her late teens to late twenties, expect her to be choosy (if she is reasonably attractive). Sometimes, she's mulling over weather to accept you or not. This is because:
1) She thinks she can get with a more attractive guy. You are not attractive enough for her.
2) She does not find herself attracted to you.
Of course, most girls will be very nice and try to sugar coat it and they will tell you that: I dont think we should see each other / We should focus on our studies / I am not ready for a relatoinship etc etc.
The plain simple reality is that YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH FOR HER. So move on. She is a waste of time, money and heart.
Girls that abuse their beauty/attractiveness to get free dates / dinners /movies / trips with guys they are not really interested in are the scum of society. It's seriously low...
If you notice the signs mentioned above,... move on quickly. Perhaps she will come back to you in the future when she realizes that she is old and losing attractiveness and has no hope of dating the "prince charming" of her dreams. Will you still accept her? Well... if you are desperate as well you probably would. But follow this guide and hopefully you would have engaged someone else by then - so you could send your ex your wedding invitation!
1) She does not reciprocate/return your moves. eg. you put your arm around her. she does not put her arm around you.
2) She avoids talking about the future / making plans.
3) She does not initiate contact often enough. (subjective, but you get the idea)
4) It takes alot of time before you could even make an initial move.
Girls are awfully indecisive when it comes to relationships. Every girl wants their prince charming. If you are going out with a girl in her late teens to late twenties, expect her to be choosy (if she is reasonably attractive). Sometimes, she's mulling over weather to accept you or not. This is because:
1) She thinks she can get with a more attractive guy. You are not attractive enough for her.
2) She does not find herself attracted to you.
Of course, most girls will be very nice and try to sugar coat it and they will tell you that: I dont think we should see each other / We should focus on our studies / I am not ready for a relatoinship etc etc.
The plain simple reality is that YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH FOR HER. So move on. She is a waste of time, money and heart.
Girls that abuse their beauty/attractiveness to get free dates / dinners /movies / trips with guys they are not really interested in are the scum of society. It's seriously low...
If you notice the signs mentioned above,... move on quickly. Perhaps she will come back to you in the future when she realizes that she is old and losing attractiveness and has no hope of dating the "prince charming" of her dreams. Will you still accept her? Well... if you are desperate as well you probably would. But follow this guide and hopefully you would have engaged someone else by then - so you could send your ex your wedding invitation!
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Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why go after a pretty girl since beauty fades with time?
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Put it this way: A pretty girl will get less pretty as she gets older - true. However, a not-so-pretty girl will get less pretty as she get's older as well. Hence, the question is actually moot. Im not saying that guys would judge girls based on looks alone, but with all other factors (attitude etc) the same, every guy will go out with the most beautiful girl who is willing to go out with him. It's their nature. Guys who cant woo the pretty girls would have to set their standards lower.
2. Isnt an Alpha Male just an egotistical guy who is arrogant and cocky?
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No, alpha males are males who command respect. Not all alpha males are arrogant jerks. In the same way not all pretty girls are snobbish since they are pretty and ignore less-than-worthy guys. Good alpha males are good leaders. They are charismatic, have high self esteem and self confidence, and know how/when to take charge of any situation. There are bad alpha males too, yes - the ones who go around with arrogance on top of their self confidence. Ladies always go after good alpha males so long as he is not too deficient in other aspects (eg. looks, money)
3. Why do so many guys complain that girls are just after money?
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Im sure some girls really are after money, but that simply isnt often the case. Guys who have been ditched for lack of social dominance often come spewing their life stories on forums like this one. Of course, no girl would tell the guy the real reason why they wanted to break up. Heck, many ladies probably havent even heard the term "social dominance" prior to reading this article. They would just ignore the guy leaving him clueless. Being non-socially dominant, he then goes about trying to win her back - making another mistake (see principles 3 and 6). Feeling lost, the guy then lashes out at all women, accusing them of being shallow creatures going after money. Conclusion: They are just bitter. Perhaps they are ex-cuddleB!tches.
4. The girls I'm interested in dont seem to want me. Im not interested in the girls who are interested in me. How can your theory explain that?
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Let me rephrase the question: Why attractive girls dont want me but unattractive girls do?
This is the average joe dilemma. Guys who ask this question are likely to be average joe's looking to date an attractive lady. Put yourself in her shoes. If you were a hot stud, and had lots of attention from beautiful ladies, would you want to date an average jane? Alternatively, an unattractive girl has no real chance of winning over a hot stud (because the hot stud has lots of more attractive admirers). Thus, the unattractive girl that shows interest in you has simply faced reality and lowered her standards by going after you. Set your standards lower and you would start to notice that the girls you are interested in would start showing interest in you. You could also work on the basic 8 principles to increase your attractiveness.
This is the average joe dilemma. Guys who ask this question are likely to be average joe's looking to date an attractive lady. Put yourself in her shoes. If you were a hot stud, and had lots of attention from beautiful ladies, would you want to date an average jane? Alternatively, an unattractive girl has no real chance of winning over a hot stud (because the hot stud has lots of more attractive admirers). Thus, the unattractive girl that shows interest in you has simply faced reality and lowered her standards by going after you. Set your standards lower and you would start to notice that the girls you are interested in would start showing interest in you. You could also work on the basic 8 principles to increase your attractiveness.
5. Your basic principles cant be true. I know a really outgoing guy who has lots of friends and is very nice but is still single and I also know a quiet loner who is dating a hot chick!
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I think you have confused social dominance with popularity. Just because a person is popular doesnt mean that he is socially dominant. There is a reason why I used Sarah McLachlan's song, building a mystery in my summary of the principles. An independent loner is socially dominant in his own way. He does not rely on others for encouragement and support and is more independant than the attention grabbing sociopath. Phileas Fogg (Jules Verne's book) epitomises the socially dominant loner. He is rich, successful, extremely independent, very dignified, and keeps to himself - building a mysterious aura around himself.
6. About The Term "Nice Guy"
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This term is often used by girls to describe guys who are likeable and sociable. However, girls who do not wish to pursue a relationship with an UNATTRACTIVE guy would also use the term to soften the blow of telling him it's over. Hence the negative stigma over the term.
Imagine you are a guy going out with a girl with a charming personality. It's just that you dont find her SEXUALLY attractive and you think you can do better. Of course, you're NOT going to say "YOU ARE UGLY" to her face. Most likely, you would want to remain friends but you have to let her know that you are not SEXUALLY INTERESTED in her. Thus, you tell her that you really like her as a friend and that she has a cheerful personality and whatnot.
Imagine you are a girl going out with a guy with a charming personality. It's just that you dont find him SEXUALLY attractive and you think you can do better. Of course, you're NOT going to say "YOU ARE AN EFFEMINATE PUSSIFIED NERDY WUSS" to his face. Most likely, you would want to remain friends but you have to let him know that you are not SEXUALLY INTERESTED in him. Thus, you tell him that you really like him as a friend and that he is a "nice guy".
Ok, im exaggerating a bit to make the point clear. But you get the idea.
Imagine you are a guy going out with a girl with a charming personality. It's just that you dont find her SEXUALLY attractive and you think you can do better. Of course, you're NOT going to say "YOU ARE UGLY" to her face. Most likely, you would want to remain friends but you have to let her know that you are not SEXUALLY INTERESTED in her. Thus, you tell her that you really like her as a friend and that she has a cheerful personality and whatnot.
Imagine you are a girl going out with a guy with a charming personality. It's just that you dont find him SEXUALLY attractive and you think you can do better. Of course, you're NOT going to say "YOU ARE AN EFFEMINATE PUSSIFIED NERDY WUSS" to his face. Most likely, you would want to remain friends but you have to let him know that you are not SEXUALLY INTERESTED in him. Thus, you tell him that you really like him as a friend and that he is a "nice guy".
Ok, im exaggerating a bit to make the point clear. But you get the idea.
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DEFINITIONS
Cuddle B!tch
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cuddle b!tch(n) - a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death.
First off, cuddle b****es are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an Intellectual
This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jun 6 2008, 05:01 PM
First off, cuddle b****es are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an Intellectual
This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jun 6 2008, 05:01 PM