good morning every1. 
early morning aledi post it. i'm reading it. 

reason of him to change into beast:

1.He look down on himself more, because he need your money support to help pay his debt. Everyguy has a pride, if you're my girlfriend i will find part time job myself and wont ask the girl for money.

2. You said you're pretty, clever and quite perfect while he's been label as the jerk. Of course he feel the sense of insecurity, because he know there's lots of lengzai and better guy in your college and you may change heart, since he's turn into a shit after the 2007 guarantor incident.

To solve this, you need to talk to him personally. Assure him you wont change heart and you will help him get through this slump he's facing now.
If he's still so useless, you can just go and find a new one. He's currently treating you like he owns you, which is dangerous because he's too possesive and wants you to follow all the things he wants.
Serious possesive person will tend to beat up the girl if they dont follow what he says.

When time passes, people change.

It's time to move on.

You can do the thinking.
1. You want this person to marry you and control you for the rest of your life? Maybe, he will make you his slave. Who knows.
2. You can tell him how you feel now and see how react to it. If he defends, then his just treating you badly.
3. Avoid you from frens, what kind of bf is that? Y don't you del all his frens and see whether he likes it or not.

I think the best way is confront him and express how you feel that his treating you now. You will get your answer from there.

Give time but be a little strict and stand up!
What you don't like, you have to tell him now. Let him take his time to change.
If he can't change accordingly, he will always stay as beast in your heart and never gonna transform into a prince.

In my opinion, I think you have found someone you loved very much.
Although you called him beast, you are still seeing all the beautiful thing inside him.

After all:
"Love isn't finding a PERFECT person. It's seeing an IMPERFECT person perfectly."

i used to be like that

y u din talk personaly to him?
u shudn't only complain here
u shud discuss all this issue with him together

this is wat u can do for best so far
hoping him to change to a better person
but... if he stay like tat....u can leave him, try imagain 10 years after from now if he still have the same attitude?
u deserve better, most of the gals are

the swt thing u talk bout him, lot of guys can do so
but the bitter part, if guys tat loves u, they mostly wont do tat
over protective act is too childish in a relationship, beeing not reasonable...

talk to him 1st, discuss the matter, then u come back here to tell us how he react during the discussion.
dun worry n scare to discuss with him, coz i found tat most gal scare to discuss this kinda matter with the loves 1...

sometimes.. u just have to let go something precious to u...

i'm not sure i get insecure easily but i am not so extreme like your ex la i just dont like her seeing other guys only

TS, TS, TS... you are not a puppet. The fact that you can create an ID and start this thread means you are human capable of independent thought.

But no.... you want to pack your bags, say goodbye to ur family and friends and move into his place. Sever all ties with the outside world and serve him and only him.

By the way,
BAD GUYS - 39053, GOOD GUYS - 0.
Can the gooders catch up a little please?

TS, from your story, let me summarize:

good beginning until money problem because of betrayer.

this is a guess: your bf is very stressed because of money problem, and because of that he thinks he'll loose you because he is unable to "support" a gf, you. he's scared that some better off guy will lure you away - he cuts you off from your friends - in the only limited way he knows how. this is a big neon sign saying he is in a desperate situation. some ppl don't perform well under stress. some ppl break. some ppl do all sorts of drastic and harmful things to themselves and to others, including ppl they care about.

i think you are quite an understanding person. but. but you cannot just let him take over you completely. things may go smoother for a while but in the long run who knows. you might consider hinting, or be completely direct, that you are on his side about a few things he is worried about. in this way he might revert to the original unbeastly person?

no1 is perfect, but if u able to look at his good then please accept his bad. And dun become such a good person to him, if 1 day u left him, he might go kill himself. So the conclusion is, dun always folo his order just do what u like which is reasonable and when he get angry for tiny reason just tell him that, accept this or get lost.

seems someone that i knoe have the same story as u

This is going to sound harsh but your bf sounds like a grade A loser. I've met countless women that have seemingly fallen in love with similar grade of men and it's beyond logic why they so into them. One way of looking at it is he's really insecure because of his current financial standing. When a man feels he cannot provide for his woman, it affects his pride. He feels useless and therefore sees a potential threat in every other man who is financially stable and able to provide his woman with a sense of security. Another way of looking at it is he's just a 'jerk' as your friends say he is, in which case you'll be better off without him and happier in the long run.

Hey TS,

This guy is not for you. It's time for you to think hard for your future since u brought up the thought of whether he is husband-to-be of yours next time. Compromise is the key to a healthy relationship, but seems like it's been a one way traffic in most situations as you described above.

It's undeniably sweet, the occasion where you both celebrated your valentine's. It should be assessed that these occasion only comes on special days. However, you shall consider how you would spend the day-to-day chores in the future where you plan to start a family with him. Could you stand his possessive and iron-fisted attitude for the rest of your life?

I don't proclaim myself to understand women enough to satisfy them but the point in a relationship is, no matter you're a man or women, you should find someone who could satisfy your needs physically, mentally or spiritually to make that relationship lasting and balanced.

-Beauty and the Beast is just a fantasy-

U call urself a beauty, and ur BF is a beast.....

   

Ah wow, looking at your story, it seems pretty clear in your heart what you wanted from your your relationship already, though you might not notice it.

If you don't mind, a little advice:

Sometimes its not easy to understand what the other is going through which might lead to them treating thy badly ie. in your case the jealousy and other bad treatments.  Possibly he might be under pressure from having to pay back his father (although theres much to blame on his friend who ran away from him).  So, in that short period of time, was betrayed by a friend and got hounded by a father (probably is pretty strict and meneacing would be how I would imagine).  I'd guess that the only thing left meaningful to him would be his loved one - you, the gf.  And in some fear of losing you, the jealousy erupts.

I'd suggest to see if my theory backs-up by looking to see if it fits to your story.  Like say this jealousy/bad treatment thing happened prior to his friend's betrayal and such.

Arguments sometimes help to fuel a good relationship, but it only works when the couple work them out in a proper way.  If its non-stop arguments without anything being solved, then the relationship isn't really getting anywhere either.

You did mention that you are good looking, smart and I'd guess, popular too.  That would make him feel a little insecure, well, who wouldn't really?  However, his actions are a little overboard to the extreme.  But thats where trust building comes in.  A relationship without trust usually don't work out.

It seems that you truly love this guy, compromising much and would go so far to an open forum to let out the burden. 

From what you like of him (mind you I can only judge from what you have written) he seems to be quite good with charming the hearts.  I hope this isn't blinding you in seeing a real him.  Again, I don't know this guy, I can only judge from what I have read.

I suggest you sit down and talk to him seriously about the relationship, I believe it could go far if the hearts are set right.  But a loved one shouldn't be hurting the other and should be considering the other's feelings.  If he can't do that, I really suggest(im saying this word a little too much ) splitting roads.  Saying "you go die" is really really harsh.  You have mentioned a number of things you compromised with, perhaps thinking of the things he has compromised for you too, would help.

But that is my brand of love, if one cannot provide the care and love for the other, then there is no point being together any longer.  Trust and compromises should go both ways.  However, its still up to yourself to decide what you want, its clear that you are suffering but is it clear to him?  Is he making an effort to make you happy? You are trying to make him happy by compromising. 

Its going to be hard and whatever decisions you might choose upon will probably be hard, but stand hard and headstrong and anyone can make it out. 

Hope this helps, good luck and all the best!

edit: forgot to mention that you need to stand ground on your beliefs and happiness.  Let him know how you feel, don't let one bully you/take advantage either.  You mentioned a lot of your compromises but not really much of his, or is he not really compromising at all? Everyone is capable of changing, so don't lose hope on everything either, he could change for the better.

oh god , i hope i got GF like you .. but we din get wad we wanted it ... it all goes wrong sumtime ... probably u nid to talk to him .. slowly and slowly it will turn back to normal back .. gd luck for u ...

hi good morning ts,
i feel that u r a nice & good hearted girl
if u ask about wife-to-be..u r the good example lo..hehe
1 of my classmate,she has a very handsome bf but he is always broke..at 1st she said dun mind that he is broke but after 2 months she run away fast fast...money is not everything but everything is money..
i am impressed that u still be with ur bf thru his hard time 
+true love is like a ghost,everyone talk about it but few have seen it+

Pardon me but I really dun like guys who are so crazy/obsess/paranoid about their gf, always cause the GF to suffer...

i can see that TS is a very sweet gal. mostly end of post, she will have some sort of greetings or polite response.

stay cool and hang in there!

As I'm direct person, I'll met up the girl and question her.

TS,

When u can wrote all everything about him,I guess you already in doubt whether he will be your husband-to-be,whether is he the one. If you are still very sure he's the ONE,you wouldnt write all these.Basically,u already got your decision but you need more advices as u are in doubt.
There are only 2 ways,either you just tolerate everything even you lose all your friends or you walk out of this relationship. Good luck!

okay, I pull back on what I comment earlier. Now I wanna say your boyfren damn suck wei, big time loser, dun intro him to me or either let me know who is him. I will for sure find my gang kick punch, punch kick and then kick punch again. And for your own good is better to leave him, even though he wanted to kill himself, bang head to wall or others cheap stunt just let him be, he doesnt deserve you.

oh dear... i tot my bf is possesive, but urs is super duper possesive liao oh!! i understand how u feel.. but if ur bf to the extend of deleting ur guy fren's number some more ask u go die.. omg! u still wanna stick 2 him r? he ask u go die wor.. ur bf is so damn selfish! nvr think of ur feeling at all.. after all the things u have done 4 him, tis is wat u get.. little bit angry.. phew! i think u gotta make up ur mind jor.. u should noe wat to do.. as wat ur frens said, "WAKE UP!!!"

wtf those sms make me speechless~~~~~

100% great boyfriend..

dear sweet girl forever21
this guy is not for you.it sounds like he thinks whatever he does is always right but whatever u do r wrong.
when u hang out with your friends,he don't like..BUT he said he is right&did nothing wrong when her ex sent him intimate messages....
i think your bf oso response her with sweet messages..coz this girl got response from him,thats y this is continue..
when i c the examples of sms that r listed,my mind was like (harr??!#%&@#!) .. sms day n night...from the noon till night..
alright,stop here.dont have mood to write about them already.

u r a sweet girl,u deserve someone better.
come,i intro some better guys for u..  
take care ok..

For sweetgirl forever21,
Maybe only that gal sender send those intimate sms-es and not ur bf faults so u must check with urs bf before simply accused him... About those overly possesion or control ttry calm ur bf down and talk in a peaceful and polite manners...DUn get heat up first...U got ur point and u can get over him...Maybe when u hang around with frens can tag him along...

To stacial,
Dont just intro guys to TS, we also need u to intro better gals to us ...

One things i dun like is u post things about ur bf here and let ppl insult.....Is this the way u said u LOVE him??? aiya, if u still want to be with him then get along loh or else if u already made ur mind not to be with him then go ahead...You don't need to feel guilty if u r on the right side, afterall it's still his lost....If i have a gf and she made small mistake i will still protect and not let ppl scold and insult.....Own things own self kau tim la......

Biasa lah man when hot tempered sure abit rough and said those words....Later one day if he really let ppl whack, chop and die then u dun cry la....Whatever it is still ur own decistion to decide whether u all worth to be together not...Want insult him, scold him and whack him do it urself dont let other ppl here insult him...I guess his father and mom treat u no bad also....

Then also, his parents is his parents, the son do wrong also dun link him with his parents mar.

forever21> no worries, I so yeng and so kind. I wont use this kind of tactic geh 

I saw some couple so lovely but their in-law always kutuk-kutuk....No happy pun.....

everything depend on u.....think properly is wat i would like to advice u forever21. one wrong move and u will regret forever. now the place i work at i got a colleague who love her husband very much when young but as time goes by, things change as husband drink beers everyday and quarrel occur every times. so, it all depend on how u think and feel bout ur bf, if u love him so much till u can bear with all his weakness why not go for it. if u cant accept  it anymore why carry it on as in the end the person who hurt the most is u. better decide rite now whether to carry it on or end it now.

my personal view is ur bf r bbeing over protective toward u. this type of guys are scary as if u wwere to do seomthing tat he cant totally accept in the future, worst thing happen is either he do something stupid toward himself or even to u. What i mean by something stupid is something scary, i personally advice u to end this relationship fast or u ask the guy to change his attitude or behaviour. this type of guys freak out people. haven marry oredi like this and can u imagine what will it be if u two r married.

think smart and think properly. in the end, its ur very own decision and no one could be blame but u. so cheers.

If he's really protective for her own good then he should have stopped contact with that someone's fiance lah.. Very fun izzit everyday get sweet sweet message from someone who is getting married

haha me too celebrating alone

Spend it with your family/friends la...
Good luck.

I blur sotong, ehehe sorry Good luck to TS!

Are you her ex =.=!!
Anyway gratz for having a new life. Lonely is not a big deal when you still having friends.

I had seen some retard more worse on that, so don't need to be sad, you should lucky you can get rid from it 

Make your life better, find some activities. Cooking is not a bad idea or doing some charity job

Or else hanging in LYN will be more relax with a bunch of single ppl at these occasion 

we are here to cheer u up

lao... TS, i think you're the best how a gf could be. i can't believe you ended up with someone like that. c'mon people, the way he treated you is like.. rubbish. he took you for granted, but you still kept forgiving.. salute to you. i once took my ex for granted, used to be an ar$ehole, up to some certain extend, but not this extreme. and every single moment of my live i regret about this. i just dont understand how your ex could do this to you..

well, luckily you've moved on. may god bless you always. christmas is coming, dont be bothered by this. go out and have some great time. cheers~

....conclusion after reading your long story.....
。。。。爱情是盲目的。。。

well, i've seen a lot of such case happening around my friends, and yeah, most of them are girls
the guy treat them so bad, but they will stilll giving a chance to their bf, as they thought they willl change
they thought their bf will appreciate what they did...but heck....they end up will flooding with their tears again and again....

well to TS,in fact in your mind...you know what action to be taken...but just hard to make a tough decision
good luck to you

the root of all evil ... money....
a lot of ppl are alone, but you have your friends n family for christmas n new yr, goodluck then
some are more lonely, like me, 2nd christmas n new yr in a row away from my gf of 8 yrs...hope next yr can b together again...

anyway, its not the end of the world, merry christmas and a happy new yr

Dear forever21,

For my opinion,you should open up this issue to your bf and ask him to change.And be honest to each other,one simple lie might lead to disaster and misunderstanding.Guys gets so impulsive is because he can't effort to loose his gf,this prove he really love you.Beside this,he is under pressure for his position,he can't take it seeing you have so many good looking friends.Love is about trust, try to make him self confident,show how much you love him,tell him how much he mean to you and so on.If you still have no idea how to show loves,let me know,I got few  .

Ok, above is about love.Now let discuss about fact.Paying for your bf is not wise,guy has to be responsible of what he done.Guy feel damm embraced gal give him money.Guy look down on another guy who take money from gal.And now you are paying for him.Totally unwise.You are encourage him to ask money from you in future.The question is how long this love last as it keep on like this? Are you sure you want to face this issue for your entire life? Are you willing to pay for him everytime he is broke in future?Is this future you plan to be?Is he capable to raise a family?Are you gonna happy with him?What is love?How much he mean to you?what make you love him?can you live without him?Will your parents agreed?

Answer those question to yourself and make a wiser decision.One simple step change your entire life.Put your study on the front line,don't neglected or effected by just one guy.Now days guy are unreliable.Good luck for you forever 21.

LOL!
i wished i know too

they always said : good guy/girl is like parking lot. quite true