I'm having a foreign bf who are going back to his home very soon and may not be coming back. Im really sad.
Anyone can tell me what to do?
To keep long distance relationship or just let him go?

To be honest i'm not ready to let him go, but another problem we are having now are different religion and culture which our parents will not allow us to be together. And we have been together for quite some time but never tell our parents.

I'm having a really hard time now thinkin about all this things. Don't know what to do except crying all the time.
Someone please help!!

wat is ur religion and wat is his religion??
religion really that matters?

Have asked the reason the person leaves u? .. y u never follow? .. if true the person dont like u and leaving u forever .. just forget abt it .. lotsa fish in the ocean and ... be calm n single for a moment ..

Single is a good career advancement take my advise, its true .. I have been single for the past 7 years, till i met my fiancee a year ago ..

Does it even matter?

Its just a stage of life...get over with it..

If he or u are really into this relationship, long distance relationship isnt exactly a problem....

he's muslim and i am achinese.
Not a problem for me but for both of our parents.

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Added on November 20, 2007, 12:25 amHe can't work here, there is not future prospect for him to be working here.
His family needs him to go back, and he has brothers n sis to takecare, which is their culture there.

i can't just ignore my parents, not letting them know and going with him, but i can't imagine how sad they areif they know this. They are very traditional minded and do not accept all this.

This post has been edited by alwaz4va: Nov 20 2007, 12:25 AM

IMO i dun trust long distance relationship.
BTW family is more important to me

Understood .. not everyone be lucky n perfect always. Life is full of rich n poor, happiness n sad, enemy n friendship, lowclass n highclass .. A good person is the one whom can live with wat he/she has within now ..

A good human being is one whom can make a good heart and never follow wat heart says.

It may unacceptable by wat am i saying here for u, but u can decide wat is the best for u ..

Good luck n Have a good sleep, rest ureself .. Good night ..

All I can say is try to find something to fill up ur mind.. the more u think about it the more pain u will feel. No worries, ur still young, there are alot of beautiful things out there that u havent experience yet.. If he wants to go just let go, because his heart is no longer with you, well I think u oredi have a slight idea that this might happen someday, so I think u will have the courage to overcome this.

Family is the most important.. LOVE may or may NOT last a life time.. there's always risks.. family will always accept you in any situation. If you 'tak ada jodoh' as all we muslim believes.. then no matter what you do, it will NOT happen. Let it go.. there's someone for you out there.. Just be grateful/thankful that you have experienced love, and are capable of loving a person and someone loving you... move on, there's much in life to do and explore..
My sincere wish that you'll have the best there is. Good luck!

This post has been edited by jazzy939: Nov 20 2007, 12:39 AM

that's why i say, those bangla or pakistan they come here to steal our gal only. After having fun, then go back di.

Love is not everything in our life...
Listen to person beside you...
They are the one who has been company you since you young...
Learn to love FAMILY other then outside person...
Without your family, you wont be getting what you have today

Frankly saying.. im not a long distance relationship de person. So for me is a NO to long distance relationship la. but doesnt mean that u must be like me. All i wan to say is if u really love him, jz do wat u think is right. Dun force urself to change and dun force ppl to change. remember is u who marry that fellow not ur parents. Makes ur parents understand ur need. then u will get wat u wan..

for me long distance relationship would be a bit dificult in trust coz ill bet u will always wondering what his doing there with who and so on...its will make u feel more jelous and i will turn worse later when u feel to much curios and to much wondering

everyone is telling me to give up. i know it is for my good, but its really hard for me just to say bye and forget everything, especially for me this is not because we argued or not we both get freak up about each other, its because others perception that we have to face if we do not do so, which made me not willing to accept all this.

bangla ka????

anyway joke aside I advise you to leave him, for a chinese its very difficult to adapt to muslim culture, can you stand him years later down the road taking a 2nd or 3rd or 4th wife?

Ler. You chinese girl go find a chinese bf la. I thought chinese people hates muslim??

lolwut?

some say it's one of the only sunnah (good deeds) by prophet muhammad that malays follow

anyway, the 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife usually wont happen unless he's a playboy.better still, rather than having mistresses.

mistresses usually only 1....you still have 50% share, if you follow thier style you only have 25% share plus point mistresses not official, if husband die you are entitle to all his wealth (if he has any left) but with the muslim you only get 25% share so this is a huge differences.

This post has been edited by moorish: Nov 26 2007, 01:03 PM

Let go, since there is so many hassle.

Waa..got ppl like this meh, Many time I saw couples chinese(m/f) and muslim (m/f)..including 1 of my work colleague..his gf is chinese (and cute too hehe ) - Last mont is their 3 years anni.

who says chinese ppl hate muslim?

im a chinese and my bf is also a muslim ler
but ain't a local 1.
i feel u girl... sad case..
but if both of you really love each other, try to maintain the relationship..
if it doesn't work,then u have no choice but to let go...


This post has been edited by Fluffy~: Nov 26 2007, 10:08 PM

If the case like that, better give yourself another chance. Different religion and long distance, wow all problem comes in together.
You can give a try but just prepare the worst. If you don't try you will sure regret in the future. No harm give both of you a chance if you both are in love. If really can't work, that's fate. Life is so many wonderful, no matter how down, there will a bright side to look at. So don't scare not work, think positive go ahead. Make sure you know how far you can go.

yes, coz gf/bf no long term or serious commitment. Cute eh? 50 years on when u're all old, shriveled, wrinkled, no teeth, bald, skin all rough and spotty, will it still be the same as that time when u were in romantic bf/gf relationship?

Not that i'm against relationships between diff races, but between marriage and bf/gf relationship, there's a huge difference. And this is long-distance relationship, not saying its impossible to work out, but it's hard, really hard.

I salute those who can adapt to other cultures/religion(marriage), coz no matter how muhibbah we are, its our culture/ideas that give us our own identity, my 2 cent lah.

My opinion? Leave, move on.

This post has been edited by ngwinnie: Nov 26 2007, 11:45 PM

stay strong and continue your life girl!!!

why want to get a muslim boyfriend? chinese one not good enough arr? please go get a chinese one la.. when the love slowly disappear, you will find HUGE problem with his religion.

If you marry into his religion, it's only HIS WAY OR NO WAY because u cannot get out of islam.. don't be so foolish... there are plenty of good looking chinese guys out there

Long distance love is not recommended. Anything will change by time going on.... its suffer if you just keep wait. Better let him go. Life still need to go on.

i ashame with u !! n u should be ashame of u family and all chinese

jeez people, she's only asking for opinions, not to be condemned.

For personal experience though, long distance almost never works out.

yeah.there's nothing wrong with her going out with a muslim guy ok?

please don't be harsh on her

i agree with liew, LDR aint easy to maintain

This post has been edited by Fluffy~: Nov 27 2007, 09:16 PM

Well the fact the she has a muslim bf already implies that shes not the average chinese girl with typical thinking. So i'll giver her credit for that

got read this new or not?

Pada 14 Julai lalu, Siti Nadzirah mengambil keputusan untuk pulang ke Malaysia kerana tidak tahan dengan layanan keluarga mertuanya.

Beliau mendakwa hanya diberi susu kerbau basi dan capati bagi makanan seharian sejak dibawa ke negara itu oleh suaminya, Fazal Azim Abdul Ahad, 24.

Sebelum pulang ke tanah air, Siti Nadzirah mendapatkan hak penjagaan anaknya dari Mahkamah Daerah Bruner, Pakistan bagi membolehkannya membawa anaknya kembali ke Malaysia.

Full News Of Siti Nadzirah

should double think think lor.or else turn in to hard relationship to living

This post has been edited by capcomfly: Nov 28 2007, 12:32 PM

hi.. i wonder threadstarter will be still reading this or not..

let me share my story similar to your case..
i started a relationship about last year.. it's has been more than a year.. and we ended our relationship few days ago.. i'm still sad at times.. but this is the decision that i, or we have made.

-deleted-

This post has been edited by paranoid: Mar 30 2008, 01:41 PM

living his live by his religion....
go be a priest den...

izzit that busy????
lol...dun hav time to sms n call..thats so lame

This post has been edited by daplam: Oct 26 2008, 04:57 PM

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Added on December 4, 2007, 8:06 pm
There is no such problem happen to you? How you get through your family?
i really appreciate your opinion


my parents dunno bout it yet.
and we just started not too long ago,like 2 months?

ic...but have you ever thought of telling them?
i choose not to tell me parents also, but now i found that it cant be forever that i never tell them about this right?
that's why im so confuse now whether to tell or not. Should i wait till he go back, then only see what will happen and decide whether to tell or not..?
you seems like everything is not a problem for you at all...i hope i can be just like you.

u dump her...come to me

u also having a muslim bf?
i will have problem in the future...
coz im gonna leave sometimes nx year..
and he also gonna go back to his home country..
now is just the beginning..
what lies ahead for the future,is yet to see.
just hope for the best... ^^
and make full use of the time now

i think if two person really love each other..
you can make things possible.. and of course there will be things you need to sacrifice .. to make things happen..

if you really know what you want.. then get it..
you both loved each other.. it's a good thing..

some other people do not get to choose

COme to me!!!!!

leave him...long distance r/ship wont work 4 u becos its clear frm wt u say tat u alredy say tat thrs few probs in ur/rshp tat shows doubt tta u cld hold if ur distant....trust me ..u alredy show de answer even b4 u got one

if thats really hurts.. why not just let it go

this is really sad. how you get through everything after that?

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Added on December 5, 2007, 7:33 pmu know im having the same thinking of you initially while all my friends tell me not to even start this kind of relationship. But at last i tell them i'll be regret if i didnt even start and just give up. why i have to care what other people think after all? if that is so, i have to marry to the person who others agree or think it is what called 'Normal'

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Added on December 5, 2007, 7:34 pmthank you

---

Added on December 5, 2007, 7:35 pmdump her?? hello i'm a girl and that is my bf..

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Added on December 5, 2007, 7:36 pmwhy you can be so sure even before you try it out?

This post has been edited by alwaz4va: Dec 5 2007, 07:36 PM

yeah!! totally... everyone said we are not suitable for each other and one of them said he wont even be fren with me if i'm together with him..
but who cares?! if he's fine with it,and it's fine with you too...
then just go ahead and do what u want... u don't have to care what people say about you... it's ur life anyway...
coz when u look back one day, u dun wan to regret ur decision ,do you?

This post has been edited by Fluffy~: Dec 5 2007, 07:53 PM

i don't know how old are you... if you old enough to earn by yourself... u can decide your future yourself & not others... but u have to be responsible for the action u take... and yes... it'll hurt your parents heart.

i see that you love your bf deeply... but can you tell me you fully understand your bf? if you ready to take the commitment... will you 100% sure your bf will do the same? i think most muslim put their religion & family before love... he might not marry you because of that... BUT i might be wrong... cause i don't know him... but YOU DO!

did you both sit down & talk about this issue real hard? Relationships may come and go but your self respect is everlasting. Remember it is better to be happy than to be right.

sometimes i think i shd follow what i want, sometimes i think i shd not be that selfish not to care that my parents will be really hurt deeply. That make things become more complicated.
I didnt tell much about this to him actually, but i have decided to ask him out to make everything clear the day before he leave. I hope everything will be really fine.

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Added on December 6, 2007, 1:27 pmYa even though i know at last, highly possible that we will just end up like that when he left, but at least i do not regret. That is what i used to tell myself (I hope this is what people always say that i am just lying to myself to the truth) beause i dont actually think i can forget everything easily. So my friends think that im stupid, since im suffering myself.

But since at last i will still be the one who follow what my parents want, so sometimes i allow myself to be a little selfish . Maybe in between love and parents, i choose the latter.

This post has been edited by alwaz4va: Dec 6 2007, 01:27 PM

seems you've already decided what to do then why wanna post here for opinion? just do it, its your life. No one knows if its a rite or wrong move, you've to take the route and see for yourself.

Only thing we can tell you is.... its a tough journey. most important is he rich?

Thread starter,
Once you've made the decision to fall in love with him then you can't complain about the consequences.

What is the relevance of whether he is rich or not?

yes wat to do with he is wealthy or not ?
if he rich u stay then u have no diff with concubine.

u can always hook me up.

can i buy rabbit from beh farm? what the mnimum price they offered

i once had a bf who live in LA. When he went back i felt so terrible. Skype and msn were really important for me those days. but it only last for 6 mths because i felt really lonely. so for me long distance doesnt work. even if u love that guy so much. but hey dats me. m not strong enuff. but if u think u are..then just go for it.

This post has been edited by patapon-pon: Jul 7 2008, 10:03 AM

Hey,"alwaz4va"...dont know whether this topic still exist or not...since july last year already stop replying...

just wondering,how ur relationship with him now??...still being together or broke up with him already??...

yea...wonder if the thread is still on or not. so curious to know.

LDR works ok! thats all i hafta say =)

there is a chinese saying:

"old one dont go, new one won't come"

dun care abt his parents, just do what u like to do if u are love each other. Otherwise u will regret soon

okay girl,

I do not know how strong does he love you, but I can feel that you love him pretty much. I do not know hoe did he treat you and all , I can't say much, if not then you say I insult your boyfriend ( That's what my so-called-friend last time , now no more friend, thought to herself and one day spoke to me )

I tell you this story ah

In my place Sunway here, got 2 sisters : Kim and Lan . They are pretty famous in Taylor's lah~ pretty much was because Kim was really really pretty and sexy, so do her younger sis Lan.

Kim had an Bangladesh boyfriend named Roxi . Lan had an Pakistan boyfriend named Omer.

So I think you guys can image what's the conflict in there. Here it goes.

At first, before those 2 guys came into their life. They 2 had a really good sisterhood. Then after 2 guys appeared. Lan will accused that Roxi brainwashed Kim , made Kim think bad about Pakistan and Omer, and vice versa. The sisterhood was in very terrible shape. They tried to accuse, fight, even try to kill each other. Just because Kim found out by somehow that Omer was actually a drug addict ( note: Omer is a very sweet-talk guy , and Lan loves sweet talk , like sayang sayang her ). She told her younger sis, the younger sis didn't trust her, but trust Omer, so she didn't take him for urine test. Then they started to hate each other.

But think, what did those 2 guys do for them?

- Roxi : he coupled with Kim but they were like having an Open relationship, where as Kim can date and sleep with other guys and Roxi will find other girls. But at night they still slept with each other. The whole resident apartment knew about Kim behavior.

- Omer : He said , so called himself a Head of student council in Sunway College, study in Hospitality. He accused that because one day he served one "big" lady from gov or something, accidentally spilled the coffee on top of her dress, so that lady ask Sunway college to kick him out. Then he moved to Taylor's. Here he met Lan. And he tried to put up drama that his father didn't give him money for living anymore, not a penny. Father only pay the school his tuition fee.

Lan pitied him , seeing him walking to his condo ( said a very luxury condo in Subang, i forgot the name , it's like 5000rm per month rental ) from school, she pitied him and asked him to move in with her. Together same house with Kim ( after 6 months kim went to USA , then I happened to know Lan and her bullsh!t stories ).

Which I knew very much later, after all his polish vest and suit ( like as if he went to classes or businessman ), his gadgets ( psp, laptop, fone ). All were from Lan's money. Lan bought everything for him. And he told me that he bought it for his brother in Dubai.

The problem here is , this guy had been "makan" the stupid girl money for almost few hundred thousand ringgit. Say it half million is fine. He said he faced problem with visa and passport ( I was wondering why he had to face that problem if he still study in taylor's cuz school will take care of it , right? ). Then after he took about 50k from her, he said someone cheated him. Then she pooled out money again . He promised he will give it back to her ( bcause it's her school fee anyway), then he made drama like when "I go back to Dubai, I will send u money" , then stuff like "Here pay me so low, only 2 3 thousands, I dont want. In dubai my friend asks me to work for him for 7 thousands " . The girlfriend Lan was like " yeah, not worth lah~ 2 3 thousands only, I better keep him stay at home then let him face the hardship " ( you ftard! )

But you know what, I tell u this. This guy, he was terminated by the college. He doesn't have any sufficient certificate. So don't talk about got people hire him for 2 3 thousands. He was just bullsh!ting only !

He promised to give the girl back money right, Where is it !?! Now the girl debt was revealed by the college, the mom paid off the debt and bring her back home, quarantine her after much stuff she did ( stealing stuff in Giant, and get caught , and visa expired ). And I tried to called Omer while Lan was in prison and Omer is in PAKISTAN now, not even step his effing foot in D

I ask him " Hey Omer, Lan s in Prison, got caught by police , how now ? "
he said " Is lan's ,mom with her now ? "
i said " Yah, of course, she flew here right away"
he said ( with u sumbong voice like as if I am his servant ah ) " U tell her don't worry, I will get lawyer for this "
then he continue " how much to get her out "
I said " about 15k "
He shout on the fone " Oh my god ! That's alot of money" ( well, not as much as you eat for those 3 years u with her , u furktard! )
then he said "U tell her mother to try get the money, borrow from anyone. Money is not a problem. I will pay back "

So he didn't even call back to check how is the status of this ! Not even mention a thing. He only called me like a month after that, but yah thanks for your effing concern, she s already bailed out.

What happened to these 2 sisters ?

- Their sisterhood broke up. They are like TOTALLY STRANGERS now. Kim still worry and think about her younger sis even How much Lan hates her.
- Their lovers? Roxi went to England. Kim went to USA. they broke up of course. Have u ever face a problem that one friend of u call u to pick up your sleepy girlfriend at his house. Then u went there see her bra was on the bedside. Lol. What do u react? To this guy, he took it normally. So. It says alot.
- Omer now is still in Pakistan. Trying to cheat around. Lan is in her hometown now, Quarantined. and also like to flirt with guys eventhough she said A LOT OF BULLSH!T to me before that How they love each other! how he effing care for her. How strong their love is.

Oh give me a break, please


------------------

After this long story. I don't try to accuse him anything. But the thing is like this. an old saying lah~ "the blood is from the root, you can change him, but u cant change his blood" dunno correct or not, but something like this eh

I know he is muslim, but from what country he is ? Why he is so insist of going back? Is it because he care of his family ?

-HAVE U EVER TALKED TO HIS FAMILY YET? let them know that u exist and u actually are his girlfriend ?

- Did he ever mention about having a family with YOU ? or just simple a family portrait, I mean, doesn't include you inside


Dear ah~ I don't know how to tell you. But it's really like 80% that they go and won't come back.

Why? Because of Religion lah~ what do u think if YOU eat PORK and he doesn't eat PORK and you guys having sex ???? It's like .... u have been eating pork for 20 years , he can't just erase the Pork smell from u just because u brush teeth right ? That's what my muslim friend told me lah~

They have sex just for fun with us. Think about marry you, intercourse with u, and have a baby with the blood already contain the "pantang" .... I don't think most of them / their parents can do that.

And also, think about your family dear. They gave birth to you, raised you up. And now what u give them back is ur reluctant decision of parents and love ???? I know I sound like a family type. But I told u wat, I also had a muslim boyfriend before. My daddy doesn't like it. Why? Because he told me he afraid that I will suffer loss later. Because Muslim law only protective for pure Muslim. Not for everyone, eventho' u convert to Muslim. I understood him and I thought over again our relationship. I really give to myself lots of option in future. Each and every way I calculate ahead, I feel unsafe. So I took a ticket off. I broke up with him. He made drama , crying like hell and begging me, said couldn't live without me and bullsh!t. But now, what, he had a girlfriend what. and accused me back of being so tomboy and not really girlish. U know what I say to him ? " Furk you d!k head ! I don't need a d!k to please me"

U know what girl, The decision of future is up to u . Why don't u choose this time he flies back , as a quiet time for both of u. Maybe You can figure out something that while 24/7 together with him, u didn't see that !?!

But dear, always make a safe move for you, ok? And please, try don't hurt your family. Even though u want to protect him or what, use chosen words towards your parents.

So, be smart. And Be happy girl!

with much love

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Added on March 25, 2009, 8:51 pmHey And yah i forget this quote

"If it isn't this guy, it will be that guy"

hahahha

This post has been edited by klentix606: Mar 25 2009, 08:51 PM

Seriously you can't do anything except make him regret.

Long distance relationship is a tough and long winding road, you need a long of strength, trust, and patience to keep the relationship. That would be what you're getting yourself into if you do plan to continue. I suggest that you don't though, if u belong together, someday you'll meet again but then this would be hypocrisy coming from me who's in one.

This post has been edited by xcutelilgal: Apr 2 2009, 02:09 AM

it really depends but i do agree with piggy :3

for now i'm also on LDR, but it's a temporary, we'll meet up again 2 months from now~ as long as it's well maintained then it shouldn't be a problem i guess... but if i know i won't be seeing him for like the next few years i don't think i can make it lor. no harm trying though. it all depends on individual~ if it doesn't workout, then don't force..

was wondering who dug up this 2 year old thread

anyway could be a good advice to others as well...

you could try holding in if you really love him that much to put your hopes and future into the relationship

but it is going to be a seriously tough journey...

as you mentioned that you may not be able to see him for a very long time

if it is weeks then it would be fine else if possibility months or years then it is really too long

being in long distance relationship puts you to a negative missing someone state

when you go out shopping, you see couples walking holding hands or kissing or hugging or laughing, you're alone

when it comes to valentine's day or other events concerning couples, you're alone

when you need your lover to be with you during sudden crisis or dilemma or unfortunate event, you're alone

those are the few reasons long distance relationship doesn't work

there will be other considerations you have to consider as well like the trust you have for your partner and time zone difference

This post has been edited by Hejime: Apr 2 2009, 11:45 AM

from klentix606 story i feel sorry for the siblings.

yup. I know I'll go back as frequent as I can and I know that he can come visit. Tickets from KL to Melb so cheap! Air Asia..promotion I saw Rm 69! made me jealous! haha

don't trust the stupid 69 promos la. havent add all the etc stupid charges also. i tried booking that time, amounted up to almost 2k?? kononnya 69 only =___+" but i'm going back in june la. flying with mas =X mas also another scammer =.="

same with me

my bf back to America and not coming back

lolz what i should do

its just couple with a new bf

then everything will ok

u will forget the pass if u have a new bf