Our world chose to intervene. First, we contained the risk.
Our societies did not close randomly. They closed in layers.

Aesthetic first — concerts, festivals, exhibitions.
Then pleasure — nightlife, entertainment, travel.

Consumption slowed.
Offices emptied.
Schools paused.
Industry narrowed.

In the end, only the essential remained in operation:
Food.
Utilities.
Healthcare.
Logistics.
Security.

Everything else paused. Civilization contracted toward what must survive.
This was a reverse cycle.

When the pandemic was eventually contained,
society’s activities were restored in forward order.

The aesthetic was the last to return.
In times of strain, expression is often the first to disappear.

~
At the level of self-governance,
the sequence of priorities behaves the same way.

When personal finances take a hit,
we cut away the unnecessary.

Art fades.
Leisure loses meaning.
Desire becomes smaller.
Ambition pauses.
Learning narrows.

What remains is simple:
Food — home cooking or hawker food instead of dining out.
Shelter — renting a room or unit instead of owning property and servicing a housing loan.
Utilities — unavoidable (TNB, internet, telco, water, gas).
Health — public healthcare instead of private healthcare.
Safety — decisions become less risky.
An essential-only mode.
A micro reverse cycle.

When stability returns, the order reverses.
Work expands — more resources and free time.
Learning widens — surplus time and resources are used to acquire new skills.
Comfort returns — excess resources and time appear.
Leisure reappears — decision-making can tolerate mistakes.
And only then does expression return — art.
A micro forward cycle.

The example on the pandemic merely exposed this structure briefly.

Civilizations follow it.
Individuals follow it.

Under pressure, life contracts toward survival.
Which reveals something most people rarely notice:
Many things we believe define us only exist when life is in surplus.

In fact, some posts within this thread itself (#2, #11 & #13) already illustrate this.

When pressure appears, most people instinctively move toward survival and practicality, while creativity quietly retreats.

This pattern was documented as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

In everyday language:
A beggar cannot afford to be a chooser.

In an older metaphor:
Before speaking of spirit, one must first learn how to live as a human.

So for the individual who can explore art, aesthetics, or creative pursuits without worrying about survival, there are usually only three explanations:

1. Individual capacity
They possess sufficient resources or skills that continuously generate or replenish their livelihood.

2. Generational accumulation
Previous generations have already moved beyond survival, leaving the present generation free to pursue aesthetics or artistic exploration.

3. Rare professional niche
A small number manage to sustain themselves directly through artistic work because their audience has also reached the stage where they can afford aesthetics.
But such numbers are limited, and most people struggle to sustain a livelihood here if they do not belong to Type 1 or Type 2.

So perhaps the question may be viewed from another angle. If someone is surviving — and still doing art at leisure, that alone already tells us where they stand within this structure.

We are only human, so we latch onto anything that gives us hope. The state you're in, is simply because of your hope for something which honestly isn't really there.
If this was the situation your besties are in, how would you advice them?
What if it was your daughter?
or would you tolerate this sort of situation in a professional/business relationship? (e.g. A LoI signed with constant praises of how good your products are but never actually making a purchase).
I know someone who was in a similar situationship (hers was more complicated), but fundamentally the same. Both having "deep feelings" for another, but the man just not making a move forward. She finally ended it last year, but the whole debacle took 3-4 years of her life.
You may think you're open to dates and other men, but honestly I don't think you are. In your mind, these 2 men are there and you're measuring everyone else against them as a replacement. Its a setup for failure as you'll never really see the other men for who they are. You're trapped by the hope (or dare I say fantasy) or what you would have with these 2 other men in your life.