Staff at a Virginia liquor store got a shock on Saturday when they came into work to find a raccoon had burgled the store, drinking its way through the spirits section.

The "masked bandit" was found passed out in the bathroom between the toilet and bin having helped itself to bottles on a bottom shelf.

Animal control officer Samantha Martin transported the "suspect" for questioning at Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter but not before it had a chance to sober up.

After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover), the animal was safely released back into the wild.

The Ashland ABC store had been closed for Thanksgiving when it suffered its "Black Friday break-in".

When staff arrived on Saturday they found smashed bottles and liquor pooling on the floor, including its apparent tipple of choice, scotch.

Officer Martin said the animal had fallen through one of the ceiling tiles before going "on a full-blown rampage, drinking everything".

Only one blurry CCTV image of the boozy break-in exists, so it's unknown just how much alcohol the thirsty creature consumed before passing out in the bathroom.

In a social media post, the store thanked Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter for its professionalism and providing its visitor with a "sober ride home".

Officer Martin said it was "just another day in the life of an animal control officer".

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cy8jnxxm70jo

Christmas it will come again

Do animals actually enjoy the taste of alcohol, didn't know they have a taste for shit that basically taste like paint thinner, ik wild animals sometimes mabuk also, but I always thought it was a fluke cuz the fruits they consumed somehow got fermented. Kek.

Inb4 gang mabuk; I reincarnated as a raccoon.

This post has been edited by potatoespotate: Dec 4 2025, 10:48 AM

tasteful furry mammal

wild animals eat uncooked stuff all the time, their taste has never been gourmet level

Lol, might be someone else is having a drink, but blame a small animal with just one blurry CCTV image?

How much a small animal can drink?

Sounds suspicious.

Breaking & Entering (Businesses & Government)
Drunk Raccoon in Liquor Store: A raccoon broke into an ABC store in Virginia, drank bourbon, and passed out in the bathroom.

Raccoon in the White House (Press): Four raccoons "attacked" news crews on the North Lawn of the White House.

Raccoon in the White House (Historical): President Calvin Coolidge kept a raccoon named Rebecca who ran wild in the White House.

Raccoon in a Bank: Two raccoons fell through the ceiling of a bank in Redwood City, California, and were caught chasing each other around the desks.

Raccoon in a Police Station: A raccoon (named Chewy) was brought into a police station during an arrest and found chewing on a meth pipe.

Raccoon in an Airport: A raccoon fell from the ceiling at a Spirit Airlines terminal gate at LaGuardia Airport, causing chaos.

Raccoon in a Courtroom: A juvenile raccoon broke into the Adams County Circuit Courtroom in Mississippi, tearing up blinds and forcing court to move.

Raccoon in a Pharmacy: A raccoon crashed through the ceiling of a drugstore in Kenmare, North Dakota, and trashed the store room.

Raccoon in a Bakery: A raccoon was filmed lowering itself from a ceiling tile in a Toronto bakery to steal a donut.

Raccoon in a Pizza Shop: Environmental officers raided a pizza shop in Derby, Connecticut, to seize a raccoon being illegally kept there.

Raccoon in a Beer Warehouse: In Germany, raccoons have been reported breaking into homes and even beer storage areas to drink alcohol.

Raccoon at a Christmas Market: A drunken raccoon was found stumbling around a Christmas market in Erfurt, Germany, after sipping leftover mulled wine.

Raccoon in Parliament: (Metaphorical) In Ottawa, a raccoon named "Diesel" was found being kept illegally in an apartment, prompting warnings from officials.

Raccoon in City Hall: A raccoon caused a power outage in Rochester that affected city infrastructure.

Raccoon in a Vending Machine: A raccoon in Florida climbed inside a vending machine to steal food and got stuck.




High-Stakes Travel (Vehicles & Transport)
Raccoon on a Plane: An Air Canada flight from Saskatoon was delayed for hours after a raccoon got stuck in the air conditioning hose and climbed into the plane.

Raccoon on a Bus: A raccoon boarded a city bus in London, Ontario, forcing all passengers to evacuate while the driver lured it off with food.

Raccoon in a Subway: A raccoon wandered onto a subway car in Toronto at Bloor-Yonge station, delaying the morning commute.

Raccoon in a Military Tank: Soldiers at Fort Carson, Colorado, panicked when a raccoon popped out of a Bradley Fighting Vehicle.

Raccoon in a Kayak: A man fishing in Michigan had a raccoon swim up and hitch a ride on his kayak.

Raccoon in a Police Van: (Related to Chewy) The raccoon was transported in a vehicle after the drug bust.

Raccoon in a Car Engine (Texas): Mechanics found four baby raccoons living inside a car engine in Grapevine, Texas.

Raccoon in a Car Engine (General): Frequent reports exist of raccoons hitching rides in engines to stay warm.

Raccoon in a Garbage Truck: (Implied) Raccoons are frequently found in dumpsters that get emptied into trucks.

Raccoon on a Boat: (Related to kayak) Raccoons are known to board boats docked at marinas.



Sports & Entertainment Invasions
Raccoon at MLS Game (Philadelphia): A raccoon ("Raquinho") ran onto the field during a Philadelphia Union vs. NYCFC game, evading capture for 161 seconds.

Raccoon at MLB Game (Mets): A raccoon was spotted in the dugout at Citi Field during a Mets game.

Raccoon at MLB Game (Twins): A raccoon was removed from the field during a Minnesota Twins game.

Raccoon at Football Game: Raccoons have been spotted in stadiums like Arkansas's War Memorial Stadium.

Raccoon at Golf Course: Raccoons frequently steal food from golf carts (general occurrence).

Raccoon at Concert: (General) Raccoons are often seen scavenging at outdoor concert venues.

Raccoon Disrupts Broadcast: A raccoon fell through the ceiling of a press area (White House incident).



Stuck in Weird Places
Stuck in a Sewer Grate: A fat raccoon in Zion, Illinois, got stuck in a sewer grate and had to be pulled out by police.

Stuck in a Peanut Butter Jar: A raccoon on Cape Cod got its head stuck in a plastic peanut butter jar and was rescued.

Stuck in a Tire Rim: A raccoon in New Brunswick got its head stuck in the center of a tire rim.

Stuck in a Tin Can: A raccoon in North Little Rock ran blindly down the road with a soup can stuck on its head.

Stuck in a Chimney: Police in Colorado rescued a raccoon that fell down a chimney and was staring out from the fireplace.

Stuck in a Wall: A woman captured video of baby raccoons crying inside her bathroom wall.

Stuck in a Roof: A raccoon chewed through a roof in Santa Cruz, CA, and got stuck headfirst.

Stuck in a Porch: A raccoon got its head stuck in a hole in a porch roof in London, Ontario.

Stuck in a Dumpster: A viral video showed two raccoons "just chilling" in a dumpster in Toronto.

Stuck in a Tree (Rescue): Firefighters are often called to rescue raccoons stuck in high places.

Stuck in a Drainpipe: Raccoons in Germany often climb drainpipes to enter attics.

Stuck in a Fence: Raccoons frequently get stuck trying to squeeze through chain-link fences.

Stuck in a Trap (Poisoned): A raccoon in Toronto was caught in a trap with poisoned bread but survived.




Thievery & Bandlary
Stealing a Phone: A student named Guy Williams was filming a raccoon when it snatched his phone and ran off, filming its own escape.

Stealing Donuts: The famous Toronto raccoon footage showing one lowering from the ceiling for a pastry.

Stealing Tacos: A DoorDash order in Florida was stolen from a porch by a gang of raccoons.

Stealing Bird Seed: A raccoon in Maryland was caught on camera performing acrobatics to steal from a bird feeder.

Stealing Jam: A Reddit user made art of a raccoon that kept stealing their jam.

Stealing Cat Food: A raccoon broke into a house through a cat door to steal food (common occurrence).

Stealing Crops: In Japan, raccoons cause millions of dollars in damage to crops annually.

Stealing Fish: Raccoons in Germany are reported to steal fish from backyard ponds.

Stealing Rug: A viral video showed a raccoon trying to drag a doormat away.

Stealing Camera Equipment: (Citi Field) A raccoon harassed a camera operator.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1wvdpIILcs

Knock yourself out

But hard liquor is different level wor... Fermented fruits is one thing, scotch alcohol % high no? Shit burns its way down esp if you not kaki mabuk.

Trash panda.