Do I hate my current self?
No. I’m content and still growing

Would I date me?
Yes!   steady, honest, playful
Growth areas: firmer boundaries and shorter explanations.

What I’m looking for
Warm, respectful, low-drama partner who wants long-term and teamwork. (And no, I’m not looking in clubs.)

Thanks for asking the hard questions
Genuinely welcome any blind-spot checks

On time & age
You’re right about the math.
My philosophy is different: raising children isn’t about them taking care of me later. I don’t believe in “养儿防老”
Even with my precious fur daughter (dog), I raise her well because I love her, not expect a return in the future.

On job stability
You’re right about job stability isn’t permanent, I have seen a lot in my career.
My philosophy is different: I’ve been a bit of a workaholic and, being single, I’ve saved aggressively. If I lose my job, I’ll be okay. That said, I still plan for downturns rather than assuming they won’t happen

On “burdening” a younger partner
You’re right about a partner isn’t a life jacket. It’s someone to share life with.
My philosophy is different: We are in different life stages, but my stability gives me flexibility to shoulder more when needed
Eg. I’d actively encourage and support her pursuing her career dreams if that’s important to her
this could be discussed upfront, but having flexibility, I can do more in life to support the unexpected

On being “me-centered”
Point taken.
My philosophy is different: Live my way, keep personality without losing responsibility
I’m young at heart, not casual about consequences. I’d rather be upfront and move intentionally than rush into something romantic now that reads like a warning later. If we were not happy, could not come to an agreement, the trade-offs don’t add up, that simply means we’re not a match, and I’ll walk away

If you spot gaps in this framework, I’m open to concrete tweaks

Positive so far—it’s just a matter of translating the thought into action.

One more possible hidden setback from the girl’s point of view: if you are already in your 40s, it’s very likely that her parents-in-law will already be quite old. After marriage, the responsibility of caring for them may immediately fall on the wife. This could feel like a contradiction to the very point of not “burdening” a younger partner.

This is a question I think many couples may never have the chance to discuss. Come, let’s see—what is your philosophy in addressing it?

I’m not here to prove myself
I am an engineer, I know what net worth is
If you see something concrete, name the behavior and I’ll address it. Otherwise, let’s skip the projections

No GFs before?

I literally showed you the behavior

Look at how that person is talking, not what he is saying. Especially the last bit.. you're giving off similar vibes. Saying feel good words, without anything backing those words, just feels like empty talk.

Remember, you're the one who said you're being labeled immature. Not idealistic, not fun, but immature. People usually associate youthfulness with fun, and idealism with naivety, but neither of which are typically seen as immature, especially when you seemingly have the mature aspects of adulthood nailed down.

Just like people who call themselves "nice guys" normally aren't really nice guys, saying you're "young at heart" doesn't mean you are. There's something else signalling immaturity to other people.

I’m not here to prove assets/net worth—that’s off-topic

I used their word “immature” because that’s the label I’ve heard—not because I think playfulness = immaturity.

On “young at heart”: I’m describing temperament (playful/optimistic) plus adult follow-through—not a slogan

If something else reads as immature, please quote the exact line so I can address it

had 2

2 Girlfriends before..why still virgin?

Hey not every guy have sex with their girlfriend ok.

parents-in-law = my parents?
sad or good, there is nothing to worry

Hi, TS. From what I've read, I get the feeling that you understand life's complexities, but you choose not to dwell on them too much because your philosophy is to keep things simple and remain positive. That makes you young at heart. You don’t hold grudges or take on unnecessary burdens, but you plan and act wisely when needed. You have the brain and body of a man, but the heart of a boy. That’s a precious quality because it isn’t easy to meet men who maintain their youthfulness in middle age.

When it comes to dating, some women will value you exactly as you are, while others may expect you to turn up as a serious man who only does serious talks upfront. In those cases, it’s less about you being “immature” and more about a mismatch in expectations. Some people equate seriousness with age and life experience, so your youthful vibe might not align with them, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.

The key is finding someone whose energy complements yours, someone who appreciates your optimism and lightness while respecting your steadiness and integrity. You don’t need to change who you are. Just be clear about your intentions early, act consistently, and let your values shine through. That combination usually signals maturity far more than a solemn or overly serious demeanour ever could.

Of course, when it comes to serious talks about commitments like marriage, family, children, and retirement, that’s the time to shift gears, plan carefully, and show your partner that you can balance youthful energy with practical responsibility. 

Why are you still stuck on this? Totally missing the point.

I'm asking you to look at that person's behavior, the networth topic is irrelevant.
I know, that's why they didn't label you fun/playful. They labelled you immature.
You said in your first post that you're being labeled immature because you're young at heart.

I'm telling you, that is not why you're being called immature.
I can already see why people think you're immature, this quoted line is the perfect example. Can you see the immaturity in it?

2 Girlfriends before..why still virgin?

that's a better scenario if you could appear immature sometimes and loosely goofy cause most people in their later age are stiff as fuck when it comes to personality

bring the aliveness and energy onto the exterior
It's one of the ways for you to be enlightened and flow

no sexual history is fine
because if you truly enjoy your own accompany, girls will want to fuck you it's inevitable

the matter is
when you open this thread
you already pre programmed to be a judgmental person
and nobody wants to associate themselves with a highly judgemental person

It's okay to be self introspective
but over analyzing without taking much actions is pretty senseless

If you want to be success with women
go out and take multiple actions
face your fears, insecurities
and come to a newer conclusion

ok, i do over-explain thing sometimes

I opened this to check my blind spots and get grounded feedback. I’m taking action, keeping the vibe light, and staying clear about my intentions. Here’s to meeting my “her” when the fit and timing are right