So yesterday after church I went to lunch with friend. He told me that his wife and him are in rough patch. It was so bad that he had a meltdown and went bat shit crazy. What trigger the meltdown was years of bottling emotion and stress. He have no family, his mother is biased towards him as the rest of his siblings are more successful. His family went to family dinner once a month at the sister's house, and no one invited him. So the only family he have now is his wife and kids, and he put all his soul into it. He mentioned that when we had a meltdown, his daughter was scared and cried, and that stopped his meltdown instantly, but after that he went drive somewhere alone to clear his mind. He also mentioned that his wife is not the same women he knew back then. According to him, his wife is more complacent now, have no ambition, knowing that he will provide for everything they need. He also mentioned that during the meltdown, his wife asked for divorce/separation right in front of the kids.

He wanted to make things good again, or at least working for them. So he had a talk with his wife. While he was proposing a solution, the wife keep on pointing mistakes. He proposed for couple counseling, but the wife is against it. She say what is the use of talking to other people about family affair. His wife is a bit on kampung side, not well educated, just high school cert. While he gives out reasons why couple therapy is the solution, the wife keep on pointing mistake, and a simple talk turn into fight again. Finally the wife agreed to go for counselling, but knowing his wife, he is very positive that the wife will just go for the sake of going, and will not take any advice or willing to change. It had been that way since they were married.

Honestly speaking, I went to therapist too to solve my issue, and for me, it only work if u are willing to open up, talk and listen. In his wife case, she is willing to talk, but never listen. They used to be happy family. The kids are well mannered too.

Any of u here went for couple therapy, or at least  encountered the same issue? I really want to help them, I pity the kids. I grew up in broken house, so I know the feeling growing up without a father. Even my friend agree for co-parenting, knowing the wife, she will take everything in her own hand and will screw up everything.

Please help.

14 years old.
refuses to attend weekly assembly and bacaan yaasin. caught walking about the school mulitple times. kept doing it even though warned by the teachers many times. he also lies often. his lying is what made his teachers angry with him. because it makes it seem like he just doesnt care at all about what the teachers are advising him.

he has seen a psychologist and is suspected of having adhd where he finds it very difficult to sit still and is constantly looking for stimulation and he lies because he is afraid of getting into trouble if he told the truth. its hard to explain but basically, he has skewed logic.

at home, he is constantly pacing back and forth and he gets agitated if he cant check crypto market prices every 5 minutes.

my wife feels like he is the way he is because of overexposure to smart phones. she blames me for letting him keep the smart phone after he left boarding school.

He is quite wealthy tbh. He owned his own company, earning close to 15mil per year (company earning lah, not him personally). His house also quite big and spacious, they even have their own reading room. So money is not an issue for him. His kids goes to Alice Smith, and if u know anything about private school, u will know how expensive is that school.

Come to think of it, yes it is. Housewife is one of the worst job in the world.
Kind of bad tempered person, easily triggered. I saw him nag at people for leaving the restaurant door open, or not saying thank you for holding the door of lift. I advised him on that, he told me he was raised in a well mannered family, so he expected everyone to do the same. at least basic P's and Q's. Told him not everyone was raised that way, he told me those things can learn one. Hard to win with that guy too
Not directly affecting. I also donno why, but based on what he said, his family is quite materialistic. He is richer than me, but his siblings is richer than him.
Memang no friend pun. I am his only friend at the church. His workplace also no friend. He sees human as dispensable.
I think same goes for the husband too.

Being a christian have nothing to do with this. Sure, we met at church, but being a christian got nothing to do with it. All your point shows only him being a cristian, go to church, and when u talking about your neighbour, u also pointed out him being a cristian. Mind you, this is serious k. The only things u dont mentioned being a chistian is only your 4th paragraph, and that the only thing u said that make sense.

Im a christian too, and I have no such problem. Focus on the problem here, and dont focus on christian.

Yes, being a cristian have nothing to do with it. Its his personal problem. And all u pointed out was him being a christian. A lot of people go to mosque or temple too, and not all practice what their religion taught them to. Religion and people doesnt work that way. All religion taught peace, but all the followers follow it. If they do, then we achieve world peace already.

Keep your hatred towards other religion to yourself. The topic is about seeing a psychologist, and u turned it into a christian problem.

You mean you dont believe in PAYING FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP.

the free resources online some are probably produced by psychologists as well  ,dangling bits of content, to promote their (paid) services.