my wife and I were great together for 14 years. last year, my son started getting into trouble in school. my wife blames me for his behavior. I refuted it. so we would get into heated arguments every time my son got into trouble.

both me and my wife were so concerned about how to raise our son that we fought to do what we each thought was right and this led to us arguing almost daily.

when my wife stopped showing me affection the way she used to, it hit me hard. i tried to be nice to her and show affection to her but she did not reciprocate. this made me feel like she no longer loved me and my whole life came crumbling down. thats when i realized that i needed her more than i thought i did.

thats when i realized that my adamance to raise my son my way could lead me to lose the woman i built my life with. so I apologised to her sincerely and started to listen to her point of view seriously. lucky for me, she still loved me and she listened to my POV as well.

we then started working together on how best to raise our son. in hindsight, the problem probably really was me because she could not overule me while i could overule her. when i didnt take her POV seriously, she felt helpless. when i changed my attitude, and started listening, i realized that yes, she does have a point and I need to take the time to discuss things with her properly to achieve an agreed way forward.

the thing is, when i started listening to her, she reciprocated and started listening to me as well. i was surprised at how much she agreed with my POV after many months of arguing. I guess its human nature to disagree with someone you hate but then change your mind completely when you love them.

14 years old.
refuses to attend weekly assembly and bacaan yaasin. caught walking about the school mulitple times. kept doing it even though warned by the teachers many times. he also lies often. his lying is what made his teachers angry with him. because it makes it seem like he just doesnt care at all about what the teachers are advising him.

he has seen a psychologist and is suspected of having adhd where he finds it very difficult to sit still and is constantly looking for stimulation and he lies because he is afraid of getting into trouble if he told the truth. its hard to explain but basically, he has skewed logic.

at home, he is constantly pacing back and forth and he gets agitated if he cant check crypto market prices every 5 minutes.

my wife feels like he is the way he is because of overexposure to smart phones. she blames me for letting him keep the smart phone after he left boarding school.