An old woman once shared a story with the young,
especially those tender of heart.

She asked:
“If two siblings ride a boat,
and the boat capsizes—
one knows how to swim, the other does not.
If you are the one who can swim, what will you do?”

The young replied without hesitation:
“Of course I would rescue my sibling.
That is the honorable thing to do!”

The old woman chuckled:
“Honorable? If you rush to save without thought,
both may drown.
Instead of one funeral, your parents must bury two.
How quickly such honor would be forgotten.”

The youths asked:
“Then what should be done? They are our sibling!”

The old woman replied:
“First preserve yourself.
If the decision endangers your life, stop.
Swim to the shore,
then call for help,
or cast a float back to your sibling.
This way, at least the strong remain safe,
and the weak still have a chance.
The worst case is one lost, one saved—
better than both perishing.”

Then she added with a smile:
“Is this not the more rational way?
Kindness without discernment brings harm,
but kindness with discernment preserves life.”

-

Adapted from Mencius, 7A:45:
“To save a drowning person by plunging into the river without knowing how to swim is to harm oneself without helping another.”

Mencius emphasized measured benevolence: do not destroy yourself in the name of saving others, for then no one is saved.