Suicide = ragequit.

To me life is like a game. Open world. You need to decide what is your end game, your purpose.

Everyone has different skillset and different starting point. Some have it easy, some in ultra brutal difficulty mode.

Being poor is actually not that hard. Hardest is u have handicap in mental/physical capacity.

Some ppl have their dopamine center fucked. Difficult to be happy. I think the main problem here is acknowledging your deficit in experiencing good feeling. Once u understand u are different. U will feel enlightened. I think this world biggest problem is everyone trying to convince everyone "happiness" is mandatory. What if u not going to be happy no matter what? Kill yourself start new game?

Leslie Cheung for example. His brain is wired differently. He didnt know. He was confused why he didnt have the expected happiness when he already has everything. He wont kill himself if he understand his own inability to be happy is biological.

I have met several ppl with similar tendency. They are depressed no matter what. Have difficulty feeling fulfilled. And each setback in life will.have tremendous effect, i will even say they all overreact on negativity.

These all are ppl that unable to look at life objectively. So they usually tends to be a coward that choose to ragequit instead.

To me.its very simple. Just continue living, have a job. Contribute taxes. The longer i live the more help i can provide in this fuck up world. I feel my next life cycle (im buddhist) gonna be worse off if i choose to restart by suicide. If i am not troubling anyone, why would i choose to suicide.

Like i said. I met few ppl that just be depressed no matter what.

The latest is friend's boss. Married, beautiful wife, children all normal no disability. Rich as fuck. Business also all okay, conlanfirm wont fail. Already open 6 branches.

The only drawback is parents growing old. Started hospital visit. That guy hang himself suddenly. Apparently last depression episode is back in university. No ppl realize he battling depression although life seems doing well.

I am telling u. Its somwthing in the brain. They are in depressive mode by default. Their main problem is the world keep pressuring them to be happy like normal ppl, which they couldnt. So they stuck in this infinite loop of looking for happiness.

Actually i dont understand your situation so take it with caution.

To helping others u need to do it from position with power.

The way u struggling with dog sanctuary thing give me the impression u are doing it wrong. You may have good intention and noble cause. But at the rate u doing, spiraling into depression, losing friend n family. I dont know man, maybe u are not fit to help. Why not volunteer urself to existing established sanctuary?