Now now, first of all, after reading for so long, my hands now itchy to comment.

1. In my opinion, most women nowadays aren't frugal. No matter the age group, YES, cause they are EXPENSIVE to maintain. Imagine a young fresh graduate who has no commitment because he/she still stays with the parents and using the parents' car spends like RM20 on lunch + another RM15 for Boba Tea / Coffee after. How's that frugal if it happens like 2-3 times a week?

2. And when young, these people are exposed to such "lavish" lifestyles, how are they going to learn about frugal when advertisements and propaganda about STARBUCKS (or any high end drink) will somehow elevate the socio-economic status of the person? It will surely get worse.

3. Don't even talk about marriage. Even in first dates / meet-ups, going to a cafe for a meal of about RM50 per person IS A NORMAL EXPECTANCY OF MOST WOMEN OUT THERE. Imagine if it's RM50 per person, we are looking at RM100 just for the meal and we didn't even count the other stuffs like MOVIE etc. So a date costs like what? RM200? So if you date ONCE on a weekly basis you are looking at RM1k or so a month. Maybe if you earn above 5 figures might see it as "sap sap water" but most wage earners don't. And if we talk about 25% to 20% of monthly GROSS EARNINGS spent on DATE, how much savings do guys have?

3. Weddings cost a BOMB nowadays especially Chinese on the guy's side. Dinner already 30-40k average, the Chinese Basket already nearly 15k to 20k, dowry 20-30k. Marrying a daughter needs 100k roughly nowadays, so can frugal partners help you? Even if the girl is FRUGAL, she and her parents will be EXPECTING something there because it's her supposedly ONCE IN A LIFETIME.

For all these things, I feel it's very hard to compromise or discuss. Why? Simple, a person's mind set in stone is already set in stone. You can't change a few years habit in one day. So the advice is still, CHOOSE PROPERLY.

Yeah, I totally agree with your points but let me like add:

1. Maybe in the beginning the girl might not be truthful to you (yes, red flag there) but by the time you already invested some effort, time and money into her, do you sampai hati divest immediately? Assuming that the drinking Boba / Coffee thing is the only thing you cannot tolerate AT THAT MOMENT? For me, most guys might feel like, ok la, other parts she ok, I should continue BUT I WANT TO STRESS OUT, DO NOT CONTINUE. First you will keep penalising her for expensive drinks even if you did accept her behaviour (I did last time so I know) and it won't be healthy. Secondly, she will expect the drinks to come from the guy's wallet which you clearly didn't have the heart to even buy for yourself.

2. On the other hand I met a few who has been doing well in their careers and earning big bucks actually saying a RM100 meal is like dust to them. It's not even close to impress 1 bulu of her. High flyer right? There's more, she also keep insisting she is frugal and spends within her limits BUT she expects the NON FRUGAL part coming from the guy.

3. I am from Selangor / KL and if you can find 1 GIRL at her late 20s up to end 30s, willing to go out with you FIRST DATE at a mixed rice stall, I salute you bro. It's hard and not because they made it hard for us, it's the other guys. Like if another guy brings her to RM100 PER PERSON restaurants, she will slowly have her expectations up that other dates will live up to that expectation or even outdo that. Yes, it's wrong but the society has linked HOW EXPENSIVE THE FIRST DATE IS to the SINCERITY OF THE GUY / HOW MUCH THE GUY LIKES THE GIRL. I hear also I feel sick.

4. Most of the time, the girl got no say in wedding costs. The girl's parents makes all the decisions. You may keep the costs low but then again, if the parents start to intervene, we can't do much since rightfully the daughter will be more inclined to listen to them. I am seeing a close friend of mine keeping his finances together and struggling so bad because his future MIL is giving him a hard time and it's wayyyy beyond his expected budget.

1. Somehow they say you weed them out early and yeah. I know from the get go they are frugal or not with how they dress up also.

2. Agreed to that though there was an example of a frugal person but was misguided. I know of a friend, he dated a girl and wanted and hoped the girl to be frugal so he brought her to Suki-Ya for first date. The girl was ok and all at first but few days after the date, the replies were slower. He asked her why. She told him that she felt ok at first but her circle of friends told her that he was being cheap. She felt it was ok but was eaten up by the words that "If a guy can't show you sincerity at first, he won't show you anything after". So she ended up distancing herself from him.

3. If the girl really loves / likes the guy yes and maybe. But if both also dunno each other, coming out on 1st 2nd meet then probably the girl might think the guy is cheap haha. I tried that a few times suggesting cheap cafes for first second dates. End up, most don't wanna go.

4. I think how the parents perceive plays important part. Most of the time, parents got the big say on things related to marriage and they will go excuses like "If a proper wedding also cannot afford, how will you take care of my daughter in the future?".

Unfortunately it looks easy as we speak but most parents (Chinese especially) are treating their children (especially daughters) like investments. When the son marries, he will still go back and offer the parents money but normally based on tradition and current trends, once the daughter is married off, it's other people's daughter already so they wanna milk the cow one last time and squeeze everything they can. I know it's not a right mindset but even my own mom is thinking that there should be some degree of financial provided in terms of dowry.

I have actually told many of my guy friends that any form of mentality including money stems from the upbringing of the parents + the influence of peers. Not many actually believed me as they say that the girl has her own state of mind, can think for herself,

BUT the question is always "If you've been fed caviar half of your life, would you be happy to just eat sardine all of a sudden? And if you were in a great / luxurious car half your life but now suddenly need to use a local car, will you be proud of it?"

That's why, to observe a girl the best is to observe her parents and peers.