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You are not against overseas travelling per se..just want to hold off until you reach your Fat FIRE target.When do you expect this Fat FIRE to happen? Early 40s?

By 45 by calculation. But if lucky by 40.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 26 2025, 09:47 PM

u need to hv regular dinner talks with your son teaching him how to court women.

usually such things, parents dont teach their child

parents should also caution their children not to simply find partner from a different religion. This one at least my parents did make me aware about this from a young age. From there, I go read around on religion.

From reading /k, i can sense that many ppl are not aware of the repercussions, the impact and the heartache it causes on their own family members. Some still give comments like all religions are the same when they are not the same at all.

Parents with daughters especially, need to have regular dinner talks, because women tend to make relationship decisions, emotionally, without thinking of the repercussions.

The drawback is that once u reach your Fat FIRE age and be more easy with your spending, your are no longer young.

Travelling when young, one can be more more carefree, more adventure and more rough. Once older, its different, more about comfort and safety.

Im already uncle age, and recently went for overseas holiday with GF. So we had an activity where we had to climb up and down steep cliffs to get to some picturesque sites. The day was sweltering hot and, halfway back, I got really winded. Couldn't walk anymore. GF already worried and thinking maybe she has to call in rescue 😅. Lucky after a rest, I managed to finish.

Make me miss being young. On the positive side, that incident was a wake-up call to rebuild my fitness level. Nowadays my VO2 Max is pretty decent.

Other than loss of youth, there is also travel inflation which is higher than normal inflation. Like holdiay in Europe now is already so costly compared to 10 years ago. Cant imagine 10 years from now how much will it costs.

Then there are changes due to overtourism, climate change, conflicts etc. Some places will no longer be visitable or to be avoided.

Im glad that I have travelled all over..with my SO, with family, friends and even alone. Great memories for a lifetime.

Tldr dont wait too long.

That's why I am doing anti aging things as well. Don't depend on private sector. Malaysian health care is not geared for preventive.

Simple stuff like fasting, strength training, infra red radiation, proper supplement (vitamin D3 with K2, magnesium, fish oil, astaxanthin, broccoli extract, high dose nattokinase etc), good sleep, high temp shower (mimic sauna), minimum carbs, take lots of berries and purple food, high vege and fiber diet (min 70% per meal) high polyphenol extra virgin olive oil are what I am doing currently.

If you have the money spend it on health. Do not compromise your health over money.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 28 2025, 05:06 PM

Good to hear that you r not stingy with health and food.

Stall, food courts and fast food regularly are affordable but not healthy.

I think the key is actually balance. You cannot be too frugal or too spendthrift in a relationship. Imagine, if you are more willing to see additional zero in your account rather than occasionally rewarding or spending extra on your gf/partner. This eventually creates a lot of problem if wanting to build a family. I personally know of some couples who are actually ok to be frugal until starting a family.

Not saying that we should be having fine dining every week on date nights etc, but occasionally show our appreciation towards the love one are actually healthy. Money is not everything, and we should not have found security in money. Having great financial goals are great, but there is almost no point of doing that if we are not going to spend some rewarding ourselves and our family.


Including EPF?

This post has been edited by jasontoh: Jul 29 2025, 02:21 PM

If your partner not frugal person, then yes problematic. If partner frugal then no problem.

I exclude EPF cause it's kind of useless as it's not liquid and cannot really use it.

suggest you break up with her if you havent - you and her will not be able to see eye to eye in terms of finances..one is saver and the other is spender (and BIG spender some more). Unless you able to earn lots of money easily or have that kind of appetite to, just break up and find a person that can match up with you financially. Finance can really make or break a couple..good that you see all this now before married. Most find out AFTER when its too late...

If one choose to live a FIRE lifestyle then the partner must also want the same. Otherwise going to.be problems. Like TOS2 there.

Very true. That's why I filter out girls based off frugality and if girls reject me for my stand, so be it.

I cannot compromise on girls who are not frugal. Luckily my girl is very supportive and want to join my journey.

Yea, but those people I know share the same frugal and plan to FIRE; ended up argue almost every time whenever payment for shared expenses. I know a couple of them, before the marriage, talk positively about the relationship, but after marriage mentioning the toxic relationship already. Thus, I mentioned there should be some balance, because your frugal might be different with your partner.


For 50% savings excluding EPF kinda hard to achieve, I mean at least for me. Unless without any loan commitment, I doubt not many can really achieve that also. Nowadays doubt my savings can go even beyond 10%, although since I don't have any spending on my bonus, the fixed one can go until 30%. I use to be able to save about 10-20% also when I started but it was because I allocate more % for the investment.

Can depends on your pay, commitment and spending. How I know, I count my girl finance. Even with her housing loan which I am telling her to pay 40% of her takehome pay (pay more of the loan than mine payment) to it and she agreed, she still got like at least 30% savings.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Jul 30 2025, 07:09 AM

Sounds to me like that couple are not sharing and planning their finances together. When both sides keeping their own money and have to contribute for shared expenses, then will feel like money being taken away from them.. especially hard for frugal people.

If all money earned as a couple goes into one account first, then that gets divided into what needs to be paid. Most of this arguments won't happen because the money allocation has been discussed and planned for.

Yea, correct esp the bold part. That's why only happen after the marriage when there are shared expenses. Some couples want to be independent in terms of financial stuff, during dating, not much of an issue, both having own commitment etc. And most probably not converging into one because both having different thought of frugal.

Its ok to have different thoughts of frugality, our brother Ramjade for example; is quite extreme. Even between me and my wife, I'm the more frugal person even though I spend on selected things.

What is important is that the financial distribution and allocation is discussed as a single unit. Ensuring the priorities of everyone involved is met, including no-questions-asked spendings.

I understand. What I meant is that there are couples who realized the thoughts are different and some also choose to be independent managing own finance. I consider myself as frugal, but even then my wife who is also frugal think that I'm spendthrift. Definitely it's not an issue during dating, but once married, some of this will prop up. We have like a share "tabung" where both of us contribute within some agreeable ratio, but most of the financial is a bit more independent. We don't have issue because we are kind of balance, but those couples having issues really cannot come to agreement when it come to share expenses.

This post has been edited by jasontoh: Jul 30 2025, 11:36 AM

Your method works because you and your wife came to an understanding, but it still leaves you open to some problems because both sides still prioritize themselves first and then only share the remainder.

In a marriage, it should no longer be "you" and "me". It is "us".

Financial planning should reflect that. If you can move your planning into that direction, I would strongly recommend it.

Its not like you can't have independant spending, my wife and I give ourselves an amount for personal spending; whatever we buy in that allocation is up to us and cannot be disputed by either side because all the commitments and responsibilities already accounted for.

Financial planning and financial dependency
majority of couples go into a relationship for the latter purpose. They can be low self esteem, making not enough money and then plan to have 3.5 kids thinking the kids are their source of retirement

this is just recipe for toxicity and disaster.
You don't seek for someone to complete you, you seek to complete yourself and meanwhile somebody who are on same level of competence or high vibration energy will match with you

today Korean drama, sad songs and then monthly valentine day are fucking bullshit marketing and economic purpose. Society needs these average guys to breed so that they can feed and pay taxes to support the whole system

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Jul 31 2025, 11:17 AM

There are things that we consider as us, like our stay-in house, kids, groceries etc. So these are the things we commit in the "tabung". Things like her property as investment or mine, and like cars consider as independent spending. We even share a pool of investment that hopefully can help to sustain our retirement lifestyle without relying too much on our EPF. I do agree, as married couple, financial planning should involve more "us" rather than individual entity.