I don't disagree with you that a lot of these friendships have an ulterior motive. However, platonic friendships between male and female do exist.

You need to understand that not every relationship is about sex, not every female friend is out to get you and take advantage of your kindness. There are people who are mature enough to understand that relationships are beyond those transactional benefits and kindness goes both ways.

I've done trips with a close guy friend of over 10 years. He was attached to someone at that time. I was attached too. No romantic interest at all. Some of the other close guy friends might have had romantic interest in the past but that's old news. They have had girlfriends or gotten married with kids and we would hang out together with their wife/gf and my partner too. We buy gifts for each other, take turns to belanja each other, we would do hobbies together, play games together, travel together, talk shit together, vent and rant to each other, help each other out when in need, etc. Just like any friends would do, regardless of gender.

But I do see your point, there are guys like you too. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different that way.

Actually when come to women, it basically boils down to two things.
1. How much money do you have.
2. How do you look?

If you have either one of these, you are bound to achieve success. Unless you are gay.

Lol u made it sound like women don't care abt personality at all.

How platonic can it get? Are you comfortable enough seeing each other naked ?

Kindness goes both ways, but it's always men that extended their kindness more than women. I'm not saying they shouldn't.


What if he is not attached? Vice versa. Why the need to emphasize it? It's a platonic relationship after all lolz

Btw belanja here and there is normal, i did that too. I'm talking about the one that goes out of their way to help.

I dont really think girl care about personality when the guy with money n power!

Are you comfortable seeing your guy friends naked? I don't get that question cause I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone other than my SO seeing me naked, guy or girl, close friend or friend or family or stranger.

That's what you have probably experience and what you believe. It's kinda sad that you feel that it's always men who extend more kindness than women.

Emphasize what? A couple of my close male friends aren't attached. What's the issue? We've known each other for years and have had various partners come and go during those years of friendship. I would definitely go out of my way to help them, and vice versa.

Again, you may have different experiences in life with people of the opposite gender. Not blaming anyone or saying that's wrong. Just saying that those kind of friendships do exist. Not sure why you are trying so hard to prove others wrong lol. Anyhow, not interested to discuss this further. Have a great weekend!

nah, that tiggy, dunno where he disappeared to


I don't think she's here anymore

I don't think you understand what I'm sharing, but its ok. One day you will.

"A platonic relationship is a close bond between two people that is non-romantic and devoid of sexual intimacy. It's essentially a deep friendship characterized by emotional connection, shared interests, and mutual respect, without the presence of romantic or physical attraction."

I'm just exploring the definition, since there's no physical attraction. Seeing each other naked surely wouldn't be a problem, unless they are insecure about their body.

It's not sad, it's the reality. The sad part is when a man showing kindness thinking they'll get their feelings reciprocated.

So your SO is not bothered by you having a vacation alone with another single male close friend?

Give me an example of you going out of your way to help.

It does exist, but in the confine of a female's perspective which is not bound by reality.

Because there is no one for me to try hard so I gotta get hard...... I mean try hard. It's not weekend yet 😔

The fact that you kept trying even though she already rejected, seriously makes you look desperate.

This is from a third party perspective, imagine if it was her’s straight.

Is your instinct to be horny at all women? Or selective ones? I know Im selective.

Since you ask for examples, its story time then..

TLDR: Sometimes, a close female friend is not equivalent but even better than a good male friend.

First story. My oldest close and best female friend, we have been friends since uni days so long ago. We hang out often, i know her family she knows mine. She migrated to Australia, married an Aussie and had family there. When I visited Oz, she was so happy, hosted a party and even lent me a car to use during my stay, FOC.

I was touched. You wont normally get this type of treatment from a guy friend. Most likely its "let me know when you are free, I will buy you drinks" sort of thing. I do this often. Men are more reserved. Women tend to go more all out in their show of affection. Thats one of the best part of having good female friends.

Another true story of another close girl friend ("S").

One day I was stalking S socmedia and saw a group photo of a girls night out. Some pretty girls in the pic but one girl was a real Wow stand out ("W"). Short black dress, model look. My type 😊

I quickly contacted S and queried her about W. I asked S to set me up with W. S first reaction was W is out of my league. But after a bit of begging and reminder of the things I did for her before, S agreed.

About a month later, S got me an invitation to a party where W was also present. S introduced me to W and we exchanged contacts. I started texting W occassionally (play cool) and another few months later, got my first date with W.

At the start of the first date, W told me that she only agreed to go out with me because S kept pestering her to!

Behind the scene, S was promoting me to W. S was like my referee. I also used S to get intel about W so I can game better.

Fast forward a few months later, W was my official GF.
Thanks a lot to S. Women are great wingman. No way a guy friend can help make this happen.

Im not putting down my good guy friends. They.are great at many other things. Like going to police station late at night 😆.

I have been blessed with good friends of both sexes. Its really your loss if you believe men and women cant be friends.

Bro..I will be more uncomfortable if my guy friend start being naked in front of me. What the hell is happening. 🤣

Depth of friendship shouldnt be measured on our state of undress i think.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jul 5 2025, 06:36 PM

Yea i admitted what i did in the past was too needy and overly intense, which scares her off.

Anyway, we have been recently reconnected and met for dinner. Now we just merely hanging out as a friend, no expectations and keep everything light and casual.

At least is good to restart everything as a normal friend, in fact I'm feeling better now too. No hard pursue, no expectations - just let everything flow as it is.

Going back to the dating game?

You need to read this before you fall into the friendzone
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1111256

There's something about the way women think, once you have been friendzoned, you have been mentally blocked. It would be wasting your time to pursue any further.

It's not the same way as how guys view their female friends, if they are attractive.

she sent me a "STOP TEXT" that says she only ever saw me as a big brother

As a former simp, a guy who's in friendzone, get rejected by ladies few times, trust me that she really only sees you as a friend. Yea sure she's ok to go for a dinner or you fetch her from some places, but once she made her mind about only sees you as a bro or friend then you're stuck there. 2 choices for you, 1 you stay as friend or bro but you need to forget about the getting into relationship with her. 2 you just move on, just ignore her and since you're divorced you can go find another women, not going to judge as this is normal. Join some speed dating, go to church or temple, some hiking or workout activities which you can find in Reddit.

Remember this, you to have choices to make.

This post has been edited by Napalm_man: Jul 7 2025, 04:11 PM

Thanks for your comment bro!

Yea i already accepted the rejection and I am at the road on moving on. Just saying during those period, I may have living on my own fantasy where she don't really reject me as a person, but the timing was just not right (the whole pre and post divorce thingy). I believed if my background/history is clean - not a divorcee, single guy, we would have worked it out.

Just my siok sendiri feeling ya.. anyway thanks all and I'm moving on, no relationship expectation and just staying connected as a normal friend

This post has been edited by pkn_jet: Jul 7 2025, 04:39 PM

Classic friendzone...this was a problem 15 years ago here in cupid corner for guys posting here, and it is still a problem now.
I dunno why men don't realize and recognize the existence of this scenario and still fall for it again and again.

remember the choice that you are making and this means that if she suddenly call you and need you to send her to the airport or pick her up you know what to say

ah the classic string along. it's all because u gave her all the benefit.... doesnt matter what u want or hoped for, it's always been what she can get off you.

i too have been single for 2 years and finally ready to get into the market myself. lol i tell u, it's like i landed in a new planet.

last i dated someone was over 13 years ago. man the dating scene really changed quite a lot. i went on a couple of dates, none of them ever bore any fruit.

i guess i'll just die single.

It's like stepping into another multiverse right? Suddenly, I don't know the dating world anymore.

Ya hahaha. I mean i tried looking into the women i used to hang out with, all of them already have someone or family.

Aiya, just see where this new chapter brings us la

This post has been edited by calvinteh: Aug 9 2025, 04:20 PM

U should be looking for women in their late 20s or early 30s.

Younger then that they are still in disney fantasy world and if any is willing to date u, its for u to be a sugar daddy. Older than that and, if still attractive, will have a lot of traumas that u dont want to handle.