Hey guys, very rarely do I explain my in real life problems to the masses but I do believe it has reached peak point of my sanity (maybe exaggerated, idk) and this maybe a way for me to vent and ask for opinions

I've been dating this girl for a year and a half, very sweet girl, understanding, kind, anything I could ask for

Seems like no-brainer, right? Up until I asked about her past in the initial phase of the dating. Sounds like red flag, yes? But I do not want any surprises when I'm dating her.

She had 30+ bodycounts, she was treated badly by other guys and whatnots. There was a glimpse of hope for me, thinking she wouldn't repeat her history on me.

BUT there are caveats to my hope

There has been a time where she went out with a guy that took her virginity, saying she was helping the man sell Takoyaki to Uni Students. She said, she had to and had not realized she had offered her help. Nothing else that she did with the man, but to this day I'm still skeptical. She admitted it was her fault.

One time, she wanted to go out with her "abang angkat" on the night of Christmas, she even begged, she knew the abang angkat before she even know me. They did not go out as the abang angkat did not get cuti on that day.

Another one, is she asked me can she go out with her friends? I said yeah, go for it but little did I know the person that will take her had FWB experience with her, I did ask her beforehand "Did you guys do anything?" (referring to her past, did she do anything with this guy) to that she said No. But then, she refused to go out for some unknown reasons. Months later, she shown me a picture of a guy asking her out(ITS THE SAME EXACT GUY), she did this to show that she is loyal, later I asked her what did she do with him to which she later replied she had done something with the dude(she forgotten she had lied). I was heartbroken to say the very least, she lied to me. And had she gone out with the dude months earlier, what the fuck would have I done I dont even know man.


She seems so genuine, she still loves me, she had asked her parents for marriage with me, never have I seen a person be this serious to me, but with all the terrible pasts, things she did... I become very hesitant.

What if someone that knew how she is, saw that she's with me? Will they tell everyone what they had done to her? Will they say I'm an idiot for accepting her?

What if she repeats her past with me? I've experienced it firsthand, but that was the initial part of the dating, will she change for the better?

I feel conflicted, I need opinions

I am very disappointed in myself, years ago I said to myself I wouldn't be accepting someone with such high bodycounts, even mocked the people that does it but here it come bite me back in the ass. Never had I know it is a complex decision to make when it is on top of my nose.

This post has been edited by R0ADTAX: May 30 2025, 10:03 AM

All these doubts and suspicions stems from the fact those 3 situations happened in the first place, she do put her trust on me 100%, but I don't.

Noted with thanks

Noted with thanks

I do feel disappointed, she came across as genuine, confessed to me first, made me feel comfortable and safe but I do not picture myself with her in marriage yet, still not that far as the doubts surmounts

After those 3 instances, I did scold her about it, I set boundaries and such, I did feel like I'm too controllish that even other people and her friends view me as a red flag but THEY NEVER KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENS is what pisses me off, she seems changed for now, she cut off her ties with guys completely, focuses on me only, but for the future with prospect of Long-Distance-Relationship awaiting? I don't know man...

There was no blackmail involved (probably), as it was only one time and the only time it happened

As for the abang angkat, I did ask her to bring me as well, but the abang angkat does not allow (lol), the meeting taking place at night as well (tf)

She did cut off all ties with guys completely but for the future I am not so certain what will happen, hence the big question mark, will anyone threaten her to leak stuff about her? And if so and so happened, should I break away or should I stay with my face on the mud?

Noted with thanks...

I do believe I can say that she's a changed person after all those 3 instances happened as she cut off ties with guys, I did set my boundaries about guys, but for the future is unknown as in the next 3 months we will be on long-distance-relationship

It';s true that the past is done, nothing I can do about it but her past kept lurking in like a pack of snakes, not fun and mentally challenging as well to confront

but I'll do take note on your advice, thanks

I do feel like your response is kinda AI-generated, sorry but

1 guy she said she had forgotten she had offered her help (kinda BS reason actually)
2 guy bcos she wanted to meet for the first time as they only chat online be4
3 bcos she wanna hang out with many friends

there was no sign of blackmail, but I am not yet prepared when that day come, what can I do? Break away or help her as my face goes into the mud for dating a girl with high BC?