sometimes ayam sked.

time seems to pass so fast. remembered 2015 so free n young, now ady 10 yrs .

but seems ayam life not figured out yet. others koliks ady have babies , sending kids to school, etc , bought nice houses, etc .

n here is ayam , still chilling . not much saving as well . just life on autopilot . work is decent but just coasting by . living in old house since had to take care of elderly . what stopping me from doing the above? coz not sure can handle if can handle n take care both . felt like wasting waifu time as well .

anyone ever have these kind of thoughts?

Just piap and have some children, then life will automagically get you figured out.

And yes, this is serious /k and the answer above is semi-serious.

Mid life crisis is real, it’s perfectly normal to not figure out the purpose of life (cause it doesn’t exactly have one). What you can do is to love and live the fullest since YOLO.

This post has been edited by msacras: Apr 18 2025, 10:24 AM

no one knows everything since he/she born.

the thing is you dare to take the responsibility or not?

you need to sacrifice one thing in order to get another thing.

eg your colleagues having babies/buying new house, their finance and time are sacrificed.

are you willing to sacrifire your time and money?

I feel you

I guess this is what they call mid life crisis

I bet some of them are going to be jealous at you.

Those who bought house feel burdened because the guilt and regret of buying a house starts to kick in after the honeymoon of "I bought a house!" already passed. They might start to wonder why I need to buy in the first place? It's so expensive and I already can live at my parents house. Why buying at the first place just for the swag to show to society you can buy a house?

The one who married started to feel their money is not theirs anymore because almost all the money they earned goes to kids and wife. Even though their wife got earn, but it feels like they are still responsible to provide because that's what husbands must do.. unless you don't love your wife...

They started to live in survival mode instead of enjoying life. Life is not about entertainment anymore. It's about responsibility and duty as a husband.

They just imagine what if they are free. Can just come back from job and play games until midnight. Can just use their saving to buy new phone, new GPU, new PS 5. Can go restaurants and eat whatever food they like. Can just go out with friends good brothers to binge. Can go vacations multiple times per year because they just need to pay their own ticket.

Now they are slaves who earn money for family and paying debts.

But again yes, by society standard, they are ahead but that doesn't mean they are living happier. And they will start to quietly regret following such standard set by society but there is no turning back. But I believe in the 50's they might be grateful they passed the storms. But they have suffered for 20 years to finally get freedom again. And they are already old.

At least you dah kawin?

I'm here no saving, no gf, living in a rented room, auto pilot 6 days a week.

This post has been edited by ihavenoidea: Apr 18 2025, 10:37 AM

Have you discuss this with waifu? Does she want to have babies?

as mention above, its true and i agree.

anyone ever have these kind of thoughts?
last time got, but now no more.

legit. im married with kids. i can say 100% correct. I have a fully remote job. if i was single i could be working remotely from thailand and enjoying there.
but given the choice again, i would still choose family over being a playboy in bangkok

i think most ppl can relate to this.
we all just travellers figuring out where & what to do next.

No. Still a loser and a bigger one than ever before

adulting is about making big decision, moving out from comfort zone

at least once a month i'll take my time sit down and track my growth

thinking about my career decision, my life planning, current problem etc

start making big decision, you'll start feeling the pressure and hence move fowards, for the better or the worse, who knews

Unker already 4 keping, also auto piloting (even though ayam is trying to break free), staying with parents still.

Waifu quit her factory job and come work with me. Ayam can also provide them with the bare minimum lifestyle.

Yes, feeling wasting their time too.

Ya...some ppl keep thinking they gotta sort out their lives... Getting marry, have kids, buy house...
Yet few friends that tell me earlier u gotta marry early, have kids...BLA BLA BLA...now sudah divorced...
Bodoh...while I jus crushing my life , eating what I wan, doing what I like, freedom and peaceful... Don't simply rush in...many crash n burn but still many found happiness lah

Life is whatever you want it to be

Don't let others dictate it for you

Example, you see some kids or parents in public, you sometimes feel like dang these people shouldn't be breeding if they are clearly not enjoying it at all

That also means you shouldn't let your old people dictate your life for you.

They haven't figured out shit as well

Don't make hasty decision in this turbulent time & AI era.
How sure r u that your job n income will not be affected.
I foresee more downsizing in biz, jobs, n economy.
In 25 years time, will there be jobs for your children after spending tons on education.

life is either a comedy or a tragedy.

when u try so hard to avoid tragedy and it still happens, then u don't know want to laugh or not.

Job? Checked.

Health? Checked

House? Checked.

Wife? Checked.

You have a good life bro.

Chill.

i figured childless is the way to go. 100x easier to divorce and plan for retirement when kids not in the equation.

So much time to do what u want. More disposable income.

You always can become part time parent by helping taking care of nephew/nieces. Go volunteer at local orphanage also can give u the similar fulfilling feeling from raising child. Minus the headaches and heartaches of actual raising child from birth till adult.

By the time i figured out all this already stuck with 4 kids.

Now everyday i wake up go do the job i dont really like to do, just to sustain the family i regret having. My only aim now is enough savings for all kids until they graduate, then enough retirement savings to sustain myself and my wife.

Most just piapz dulu , membiak 3-4, buy house, buy car, hen only think of future... whether they did the right thing with the income their earning...

well said

Lived to the fullest and be grateful with what you have is the way to go. Tomorrow is not a given, one day your here one day you are not so just to make sure you enjoy each day and not to worry about future too much.

kinda, found peace and it's worth the search.

If given the choice, would you turn back the clock and not have kids or married at all ?

I've always wondered why getting married and having kids seems to be a "life goal" for so many guys.

Why not RM30k gaming PC?

This... I'm scare about this too, don't said in 25 years time. Might come sooner than we expected maybe another 10 years or so. By then, fresh grad will be oversupply then most job taken by AI. Luckily i still need another 10-15 years before i have the money to NOT work. Then can start doing some small eateries business and can get some small income and sustain with wifey.

marry maybe. definitely not to my current partner. i am sure she will say the same. lol

Definitely NO for kids. If you are responsible, and love your kids. You will never in good conscience bring them into this world.

Tak apa. Nasi become bubur liao.

Maybe can think of plan b lah. Sounds so sad wei sammore 4 ekor.

To answer your thread title's question, no.

By 30 I'm still single, no GF, working remotely at home. As long as the work gets done, I can work at night and sleep during daytime. Weekend comes then binge watching series/gaming on my PS/Xbox.

Then getting bored with this kind of lifestyle, found another job, office job. Then colleagues knew that I was single, tried to match me with their friends. Knew a girl, then less than a year, got married to her.

I got married at 33 years old. Bought a house before getting married. Got a child a year after married.

Now back to remote job. But no more gaming for me, only for the kids. Watching a single 40-minutes series episode also took like 30-pauses in between, and can only finish 2/3 episodes per week. No more suka-suka choose which restaurant to eat in, as each kid has their own preferences, need to consider that as well.

Would I prefer to have more time to myself? Yes. But previously I got so much time that I didn't know how to spend it, getting bored without anyone to spend time with. Now my time are always full, entertaining my kids and wife, doing activities with them, need to be aware of what they're doing all the time.

For my me-time, I will wake up early morning, then do something like watching movies/sports/gaming. Just need to adapt. Some people still wants to do whatever they want even though they already have kids, like browsing FB/TikTok all day long. This is not right. If you cannot commit or refuse to change, then better don't get married or have kids. These will take all your energy, money and time.

what to do. Just hope my 4 ekor didnt repeat my mistake.

I really do not recommend marrying first love. Also will definitely have a proper talk with my children regarding expectation vs reality in a relationship. DO NOT ignore red flags.

How did yr first love not meet yr expectations?

Im now 39 years old. Married with 2 kids. Father and mother died. Saving below 5k. No house. Plan to move to my late mother house after retirement which is at kampung.

Drive an old vios which is zero debt. Income still four figures. Wife not working. To say that i figured out life is too much but I believe everyone got their rezeki figured by God. Of course you have to work for it but you have to be grateful on what you got now. You are doing you and you should not feel pressured by others on how to live your life.

As long as you got roof over your head and food on the table you should be ok. Don't worry too much.

whats the worry ?

most people dun have their life figured out by the time they pass on

especially , people on K



This post has been edited by Redhunt: Apr 18 2025, 05:02 PM

It is only 1/2 of a life cycle. You still have 1/2 of the life cycle to experience.

To make changes, we lead by example. When we change, the other half will follow. You have to put it this way: if the wife is your own children, can you give up & abandon them? Can you just say they are hopeless & won't change?

Leading people close to you to change sometimes cannot use a direct approach or talk only if it takes more than that. Don't give up.

i used to think like that too lol. used to be jealous of my friends who are high earners, drive nicer cars and stay at nicer condos/houses..

just try to live your life. it’s really ok if you haven’t figured out anything now. but one thing is really starting saving up.

I know this is serious /k. But have you figured out what car to buy?

We didn't understand love vs affection. We were too "in love" to realize we are not compatible with each other. Fate brought us together and we are too blissful when we went along with the flow until we realize what we thought was love is not actually what it is. By the time we realize we already gone too far, and we are now too indifferent to even bother to separate. Too indifferent to try to find the spark. Just cruise along while raising the kids with our best effort. Feels like u are stuck in traffic jam, but u go through it irregardless. Not like u can say "fuk it" then u-turn and drive away. U still has to endure it because quitting is impossible.

took me many years to learn everyone has a fixed personality. We learn to mask it through sheer will power but can never change it permanently.

Like flow of a river, it will always flow like water does, you can forcefully change the flow but it will always lead back to the natural way. You can build a dam to control the current, find way to utilize the build up water, redirection etc. The water still flow in the end from high to low with same fluidity.

I don't even think of what I will do tomorrow.

Just do your own stuff man.

Ppl say that marriage is a huge gamble. Even if u married someone who was compatible with u back then, nothing can guarantee u that u guys can be compatible forever coz ppl or their values tend to change over the years. For example, my cousin married a nice guy but 10 yrs later, he turned into a person who loves drinking, gambling n looking for whores. What I'm saying is that it has nothing to do with yr wife being yr first love or not.. It all boils down to yr luck actually.

same... im just going with the flow...

this is my current situation
-stuck at the job that i might be losing the passion
-got married and still contemplating of having children in the future
-have not own a house or car yet
-luckily still got savings

as for career, i am still exploring what other industry or skills i can pivot into.

Now makes sense why TS suddenly into cars in recent months

You taking care of parents is a good life. Some can't even do that. Be thankful, different people different journey.

Ayam married with a kid and not working. Others see me good, I see others good. Find peace. Don't compare. Be grateful, then life will be good.

They hope the kids will jaga them when they grow older.

my answer yes.. wish i could retire before 50 but with my daughter now I'll need to extend 5 more years. if your bitching about having a partner and kids.. u ever thought what's life without them? perhaps you should relook into your own life don't just say it's your responsibility. your accountable for them put more effort.

my only purpose living is for the ones around me. what keeps me going are them. i do love gaming all day long too but when you turn off that pc of yours you will be lonely with all 4 walls around with nobody to talk to.

i miss the days watching YouTube, Netflix all day long but I'm having fun now too when i travel with my toddler, trying to reason with her all day long.

I've been with my wife for 21 years and never one day i felt regretted. if I'm all alone most likely I'll never be as successful as who i am today.

on the other hand my daughter will most likely be a millionaire by 30.

we are always envy of the greener grass on the other side, not knowingly happiness is right where you are.

There is no need to figure life out.

Life has many suprises and you cant tell.the future.

You dont even know when your life will end. Statistic average says somewhere in the 70s but could be much earlier or much later.

Your life journey could be short or long. During this journey,, many things will.happen. Some good, some not so good, some bad. Appreciate the good and try to overcome the bad.

Overall, just do your best to improve your life and be grateful.

Also try to be good to other people. So that when your time ends, people will say he was a good man (or woman).

if your wife is ok, get 1 kid or 2 kids, up to you, but having a kid will make your life more meaningful. but of course, you will have to spend time on them.
teaching them and guiding them.

its like this, games can be fun, movies can be enjoyable.
but your kids? if they smile and play with you, you know they are having a blast with you.
even kids throwing tantrums in public will create happiness to everyone, people see you suffer to get them to stop, they laugh.

i noticed with the aging family gatherings, the life of the gathering is getting small as no more laughter from children or active activities from teenagers, just a bunch of aging people gathered up.
kids are really the way to go, if u feel lost now.

just my 2 cents, kids experience with everyone might differ.
btw, your parents only want the best for you, you will only ever understand that feeling when you, yourself is a parent.

would you share how why you would regret having kids? do you love your kids?

Never ever influenced by others. You have your own life and so goes to others.

Once you had choose your path of life never blame people just like Ktard here blame gomen and komunis, kuil that would might influence local community.
That's is irresponsible.

Two main things to me that are non negotiable is health and financial stability.

Other things depends on individual view and what you want in life lo. No right or wrong 1.

Don't get yourself into unneeded stress.

You will regret later.

Was typing this while wrestling with my 2 1/2 year old boy on the bed while my wife is no where to be found.

This post has been edited by B0ss_ku: Apr 19 2025, 11:50 AM

Because the thrill of getting 30k pc worn out fast.

Getting kids, every fucking day is a challenge for the rest of 20 years

It took you 4 kids to realize you not compatible with your partner?

After first child semua perangai keluar.

I won't have 2nd child.

Got roof over head
Car to go around
Stable income
Healthy wife, kids and parents

Not gonna complaint, alhamdulillah

closing to 40, not married, dont think i ever can even though i long for it.

career wise, i don't like what i am doing and always have the fear of losing my current job, even though my manager likes what i am delivering. I just trying to live as frugal as possible and save as much as possible for the worst case scenario.

At current age, i am not even middle/senior management, just so frustrated at myself for not having the same thought process of a senior management or deliver a confident and effective speech/directive.

Thinking back, there are TONS of regrets, like "why i didn't study harder for stpm and get into NTU/NUS?" "why i didn't take the job interview for a bank in SG in 2019?", lots of it.

In the end, i just want to live happily without stress of meeting expectation/work which is still long way.

This post has been edited by gundamsp01: Apr 19 2025, 12:15 PM

Water under normal atmospheric conditions will behave as you mentioned. However, there is a way to transform the characteristics of water. Remove sufficient enthalpy/energy from the water, and the fluid will become a solid state. Add sufficient enthalpy/energy to the water, and the fluid will become a vapor phase. This is just an example of how you can change the phase of water. Hence, it can be changed. That is the analogy from the science knowledge.

Another analogy from Liao Fan’s Four Lessons: this man changed his fate/destiny. If a fate/destiny can be changed, changing the individual way of thinking or consciousness is possible. Both the husband and wife must have their consciousness level that must be raised for you to breach this obstacle. You need to mix with the correct group of people . Your wife must have correct exposure, and you must have correct exposure also.

Xun Zi of Confucinism once said, “The nature of man is evil; his goodness is only acquired through training."

If we were to interpret the above quote in terms of consciousness level, human consciousness always begins at the lowest level. It is through the cultivation and guidance that the consciousness level can be raised eventually.

After all the "change" it's still fundamentally water as the basic attribute. Can we turn water into metal. Into woods? Maybe if we talk about the ideal world where everything is possible. But do we do it because we can? rarely so.

In real life. You can buy a proton and make all the changes to make it look and drive like mercedes. Oh yes it's possible, some say it's good some will enjoy the process of transformation. But here i am thinking, why not just sell the proton and buy a Mercedes instead. Hell, do the proton want to become a mercedes in the first place.

I really do believe the nature of man is evil. No doubt about that.

Bro, an upgrade of OS version will be more appropriate in the context of consciousness. Upgrade from version 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, etc. Upgrade of hardware, if you have the thought that it is due to the hardware instead of the software/ programming , no one can stop you either.

I have witnessed the married couple successfully overcome their obstacles after the shift in their consciousness. Not 1 pair or 2 pairs but many pairs, but these kinds of life experiences are only shared in the closed-loop community. Not many will get to know these kinds of life experiences.

Nevertheless, I wish things would be made easy between you and your wife.

Protip. Nobody figures out life until they are too old. That's the way it is.

That's also why parents or grandparents are such an important part of human life.

It sucks to have to start everything yourself much easier of you have 2 generation of help.

Not yet 40.

U still.hv like 20 years career wise. Thats still a lot of time for you to progress. Imagine a baby who cant even crawl now will be at university by then.

As for life partner and family..still very much possible.

Dont waste time thinking the what if of the past, its the future that matters. You stagnate or progress is by your own choice.

To look at the bright side, at least you have minimal burdens. Having wife, kids and house loans is not fun, but could be a major burden and an obstacld to your happy progress in life. Just be yourself, come and go as you please and spend only on yourself without anyone else sharing your money and telling you what to do.

Benda biasa kalo bukan jenis daddykasi jutawan....

"..he completely dismantles the picture of the puzzle of the world map he throws it on the floor in hundreds of pieces he said, son when you put that picture of the puzzle of the world map back together I'll take you out to play father leaves that office surely thinking he bought two, four days no questions asked. Not even two hours later that kid comes back in, interrupts the father again bangs him on the knee and said, "Dad, I did it, Dad I did it". Dad's thinking to himself [__]impossible he walks back into that office and sure as the day is long, the picture of the puzzle of the world map's put back together. Father in complete disbelief, said, "Son how did you do it ? Son how did you do it ?" Son looked at dad and laughed he said, "Dad it was simple Dad it was so simple" son said, "You see Dad on the back of the picture of the puzzle of the world map was a picture of a man I put the man back together"

Nobody has life figured just don’t be a bitch.

You live in PJ single storey old house near ex EPF building?

But if you think of it: when you reach 50 to 60, what are you going to do?

If you're single, there's no one to hang out with. Most people in 50s and 60s already want to slow down.

Life's pretty boring when single at that age.

and that's the problem with your mindset.. why go and try modifing a proton. change yourself and change that car. it's you yourself not the method.

i keep hearing this but i would like to say this to all who thinks the same.. unless it's cancer, stroke or any kind of shitstorm like natural disasters. your actually in control of your own life.. don't tell others otherwise. health conditions? take care of your damn mouth and move more. relationship problem put in more effort, it's always about how much you give.. how much effort you've place.

This post has been edited by kidmad: Apr 20 2025, 11:06 AM

Its gonna be the same question even if one is married.
People do get divorced, separated, widowed.
We just gotta manage our own affairs as well as possible with the resources we have, the experience and circle of friends and acquaintance.

Things that I learnt recently about life is life full with surprises and unexpected events.

In your life, you have to be grateful on things that you have right now. A place to stay, a car to move around, sufficient savings and a job or business and good health

If you read the news about government retiree that lost his houses to the gas leak. You see, that old guy already ready to have a comfortable retirement life, but life happens and he lost everything.

Another thing is I surf reddit frequently and check the sub for r/jobs, r/recruitinghell, r/layoffs. Too many people especially American lost their job struggling to find a new job due to the terrible job market on Trump administration.

They lost their savings to pay their bills and rent and still unable to find a new job. Most of them need to restart back their life again after getting new job.

I don't want to complicate thinking about my future. Just focus on the present.

Another thing that I learnt is don't judge other people too much. Things that you judge too much eventually will hit and bite you back. You may thinks that there's nothing going happen to you RIGHT NOW, but who knows when god want to test you when you're in golden age.

It's going to affect you badly when that thing happen when you're old.

This post has been edited by Alternate Gabriel: Apr 20 2025, 04:46 PM

my life is already boring at 20yo. I'm sure 60yo will not make much of a difference.

Can join those hobbist kind of clubs, singing club, dancing, car clubs DLL.

Quite fun cuz it will be from your interest.

By 30s you should've figured out who's your real friends. If you were lucky you would have figured it out at mid 20s but it can be complicated to summarize cause we all have different family background and personal experiences

This morning i read very meaningful quote

"不同的态度，决定不同的结局。"
"Attitude leads to different outcome"

Always be passionate, or else life will slowly kills you.

Everyone live their own life, comparison is the killer of joy.

Do what you can do, with what you have,

But most importantly is stop opening tered in k about what car to buy k thx

Divorce are in the minority, no doubt getting more, but there are more lasting marriages than divorce here.

With family there is a sense of having people close to you, care about you, you care about them, foster better motivation in life.

Friends come n go. Soon even keeping in touch with relatives would be like once every quarter, what more friends? even more distant. You can't maintain consistent friendship meet every week or month for the next 20, 30, 40 years. Unlike family.

will not stop car tereds

Don't die before your parents. Bare minimum thing to do.

im reaching mid 30s soon, right now engaged planning to get merrid soon

right now im kinda on autopilot on work, where while there are difficult moments, its relatively sailing okay so far and dont need much heavy working on my side can still clock out 9-6 on time daily. call it slacking or stagnation, but it helps me alot in work life balance. job security ofc always remain a threat, last time i got retrenched because entire department shut down from company reorg

alot people advised i should be focusing 200% into career and improvement at this age. while this is true for the future, but i feel like i dont want to go higher into management roles or other roles with insane levels of responsibilities. money would be better, but the other trade off will be drifting more towards work liao. saw so many of my friends all went hardcore into career and they disappeared behind work and other responsibilities. not sure on their social life but i daresay with kids + bigger workload, its only getting smaller and smaller.

im quite happy to stay at current role despite it being considered "stagnating" then focus more on hobbies and other life stuff as i age. i got a house still on loan, reusing my old parent's car so my finances/savings are relatively stable IMO, dont really need to chase the next greatest whatever to keep up with the jones. like many said, alot people like to chase for more money then they just kept spending more and more and kept chasing the infinite loop, not something im keen to do at all.

Figured everything out? No.

Having a fixed set of routine? Yes.

I pretty much know what I'll be doing everyday, on weekends, on holidays etc. Its not live changing or anything but it keeps me fit, happy and sane.

ANything can happen in the future that might disrupt my routine, like perhaps lost of income, having children, losing loved ones etc. But barring that I can predict how I'm living my life for the next 10 years.

Figured out? not even close

But sort of learned over the years what unexpected things might pop up so I make sure I'm prepared for it financially, money does not buy happiness but it gives you options

Was lucky in my career so stashed up abit and living on auto-pilot until I can no longer spam it then only move on.

TLDR:

20s: work work save money
30s: make sure do as little as possible, spend time with family and kids

since no commitment n kids yet

at least spend more time n money on ur parents to go for vacations n see the world outside

This passage is so true

uncle can offer you young people good piece of advice.

no need to teach much, all of you have power of observation.

Sit down and calm your tits, start to observe people who are happier in their 50s , 60s and towards the last few years of life. See what they do when they are young, their behavior, their friends, their conduct in life, etc.

And observe those who reach 60s with lots of anxiety and depression. See what they do in their younger days. their jobs, their hobby, their friends, their habits.

Orang miskin sepatutnya kena press restart life secepat mungkin. Kaya dan berkuasa tak payah.

Aiyah better to spend the rm100 billion needed for HSR on JSSEZ infra and facilities. KV is overbuilt n overpopulated.

Unfortunately, not many have this kind of interest to be the observer of life.

I'm trying to get out of my field lol

Sadly f&b nowadays too many liao

Competition too great. I like coding but programming seems oversaturated too

Wtf and I supposed to do tbh

what will you do if 30s no family/kids?

Same do little enjoice.

if you met certain old people that have anger issue or always grumpy are usually people that take their job/work as their main personality during their younger days.

When they are officially retired, they've no longer have that kind of identity and they struggle to adapt life as retiree.

People that spend their younger days on play and enjoying their hobbies after work, not taking work as their own personality will eventually have calm retirement life.

This post has been edited by Alternate Gabriel: Apr 21 2025, 06:45 PM

i'd enjoy portions of my stash to travel/hobbies buy whatever i want within my stash portions

Talk to those in their 60s ( those succesful and also those who fail) for advice to plan your life.