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 Boss guilt trip me when ask for salary adjustment

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TSJimmyX
post Mar 28 2025, 09:25 AM, updated 9 months ago

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After my salary increment (12%), I feel it still doesn’t match the market rate, so I confronted the director about the salary adjustment. He tried guilt tripping me, I expected that. He "said" they "will" add a bit more in the mid-month bonus, said only.

Not to mention office politics especially among long-time "loyal" staff... Also, I’m not gaining valuable experience and the unrelated tasks won’t boost my resume, QA Engineer. No career growth/development in 3 years. Promotion? Likely only for those who stay 10+ years.

I'm planning to quit soon, but I feel stuck in my comfort zone, just like before, afraid to change jobs... Now got my own family, health problems, need stable jobs...


The conversation:
- He: Job satisfaction and health matter more than money. (non-existence, medical benefit)

- He: I leave on time and rarely work overtime, so money isn't a priority.

- When I mentioned market salaries being higher, he changed the topic.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


This post has been edited by JimmyX: Mar 28 2025, 09:36 AM
Zhik
post Mar 28 2025, 09:47 AM

eeerrrmmmnnn, stupidity has no limit?
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Tell him u leaving once u got an offer.

Duckies
post Mar 28 2025, 09:59 AM

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If you want to stay in the comfort zone then you can't complain much. Most companies and bosses don't appreciate loyalty and judging from the stories you've given, that's definitely the case.

If you really want better pay and benefits, then you cannot be afraid to change jobs. You can slowly look around first, go try interview for fun and throw the letter once you secured the new job.
sCid00
post Mar 28 2025, 10:03 AM

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no need to stay. go to another company that can offer better salary. this is the time where money is everything. no money no talk. loyalty is just bullshit. the company will take advantage of your loyalty rather than appreciate it.
bengang15
post Mar 28 2025, 10:09 AM

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Just plan your move. When time to leave yhen just leave.

Company don't owe u anything

You don't owe company anything.

This post has been edited by bengang15: Mar 28 2025, 12:19 PM
JoeK
post Mar 28 2025, 10:10 AM

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i feel ts.. gua also sadding now..

but my problem is with HR, not with boss. HR rejected my promotion this month.

today still working. next week during cuti time on tuesday gua have to work also.

in anticipation of promotion, gua work hard. cuti also rarely take.
but now HR sudah kena kan gua. damn sad sad.gif
corad
post Mar 28 2025, 10:10 AM

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QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 28 2025, 09:25 AM)
- He implied my lack of customer interaction affects my performance, not perfect perfect performance, mention things like not joining client lunch (though I did when invited 2 times out of 10, they only invited when to fill up the table anyway)
Does this mean you rejected 8 times to go out for a meal ?

If yes, then IMHO you need to do some reflecting as well. It's just lunch (meaning still need to come back to office) unlike dinner + drinks etc which can really drag till early morning sometimes.

I think what your Director is hinting is that they can pay more if you add more scope.

Since they mentioned it, brush up on your email skills (there's AI nowadays) so you can immediately show that you took their feedback seriously and 1 less thing for them to micromanage you about. Then keep up the "improvement" momentum and start asking for more to do every few weeks. Many office jobs can be automated, but just show the results without blabing about clever you are in using the computer. Make yourself the person that the boss can turn to get things done.

That's how you get a promotion.


cempedaklife
post Mar 28 2025, 10:21 AM

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if already give you salary adjustment still not what you want, then means you both not match la.

ask for more also no use. if really tak syok, leave lor
myteam94
post Mar 28 2025, 10:25 AM

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QUOTE(corad @ Mar 28 2025, 10:10 AM)
Does this mean you rejected 8 times to go out for a meal ?

If yes, then IMHO you need to do some reflecting as well. It's just lunch (meaning still need to come back to office) unlike dinner + drinks etc which can really drag till early morning sometimes.

I think what your Director is hinting is that they can pay more if you add more scope.

Since they mentioned it, brush up on your email skills (there's AI nowadays) so you can immediately show that you took their feedback seriously and 1 less thing for them to micromanage you about. Then keep up the "improvement" momentum and start asking for more to do every few weeks. Many office jobs can be automated, but just show the results without blabing about clever you are in using the computer. Make yourself the person that the boss can turn to get things done.

That's how you get a promotion.
*
so positive thinking advice.. thumbup.gif

for me, my superior also hinting about 'improvement' but the thing is, their is no guidance or lead by example..
they assume i can understand and execute it as per their direction.. when didnt materialise, kena scold kaw2.

bila i tried ask question on how to proceed, kena ask back.. you should this by now...bla bla bla
i mean apa salah asking question whether to clarify or re-confirm. communication supposed to be 2-ways but when i ask, mcm 1-way saja.

i feel too stress with no direction, always kena target.

hence, i break my ego and try looking for new job, i even try asking for internal transfer to other department. Personally, this is not who I am and i already felt this is not the position i'm passionate about.
myteam94
post Mar 28 2025, 10:25 AM

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QUOTE(corad @ Mar 28 2025, 10:10 AM)
Does this mean you rejected 8 times to go out for a meal ?

If yes, then IMHO you need to do some reflecting as well. It's just lunch (meaning still need to come back to office) unlike dinner + drinks etc which can really drag till early morning sometimes.

I think what your Director is hinting is that they can pay more if you add more scope.

Since they mentioned it, brush up on your email skills (there's AI nowadays) so you can immediately show that you took their feedback seriously and 1 less thing for them to micromanage you about. Then keep up the "improvement" momentum and start asking for more to do every few weeks. Many office jobs can be automated, but just show the results without blabing about clever you are in using the computer. Make yourself the person that the boss can turn to get things done.

That's how you get a promotion.
*
so positive thinking advice.. thumbup.gif

for me, my superior also hinting about 'improvement' but the thing is, their is no guidance or lead by example..
they assume i can understand and execute it as per their direction.. when didnt materialise, kena scold kaw2.

bila i tried ask question on how to proceed, kena ask back.. you should this by now...bla bla bla
i mean apa salah asking question whether to clarify or re-confirm. communication supposed to be 2-ways but when i ask, mcm 1-way saja.

i feel too stress with no direction, always kena target.

hence, i break my ego and try looking for new job, i even try asking for internal transfer to other department. Personally, this is not who I am and i already felt this is not the position i'm passionate about.
reanimation_84
post Mar 28 2025, 10:40 AM

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Only way to get what you are owed is to jump
Rusty Nail
post Mar 28 2025, 10:43 AM

Why am I still here?
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QA engineer, manufacturing what? as far as i know QA is always sought after. Even with AI cameras that do the grunt work, still need QA to for signing off.
amboi_asamboi
post Mar 28 2025, 10:50 AM

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QUOTE(JoeK @ Mar 28 2025, 10:10 AM)
i feel ts.. gua also sadding now..

but my problem is with HR, not with boss. HR rejected my promotion this month.

today still working. next week during cuti time on tuesday gua have to work also.

in anticipation of promotion, gua work hard. cuti also rarely take.
but now HR sudah kena kan gua. damn sad sad.gif
*
Thats sad to hear bro

How can HR reject if yr boss say ok to promote?

So unfair. U already in the company so long

This post has been edited by amboi_asamboi: Mar 28 2025, 10:51 AM
Ayambetul
post Mar 28 2025, 11:48 AM

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He grab your weakness- afraid to change job.

So nothing much you can negotiate with him.


Unless u can eliminate your weakness
jimbet1337
post Mar 28 2025, 11:51 AM

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Need to take risk bro. Need to jump around
incognitroll
post Mar 28 2025, 11:55 AM

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taking on tasks isn’t that bad anyway—provided you’ve already completed your own tasks and done them well. you just need to play a little office politics. when a superior asks why certain tasks aren’t being handled in a timely and proper manner, you can subtly hint that they’re not within your job scope while also implying that you're willing to help. that’s how one of the newcomers in my office managed to climb ahead of colleagues who had been here for 5–10 years longer.

edited:

i also need to ask if you are prepared for these tasks. if you do a good job, sooner or later, everyone will rely on you. the relatively new guy who got the top position i mentioned above is basically on call 24/7/365. even the boss needs to check things with him before dealing with agents and customers. when you reach that position, you won’t have to worry about salary—you’ll be one of the top-paid employees by then. if that still doesn’t satisfy you, it’s time to move to another company.

come to think of it, you're asking for more pay while still doing the same job. i think you should ask yourself what you can contribute to the company to make them willingly pay you more to stay. put yourself in your superior’s shoes—if someone asks for a raise but is still doing the same job, how would you deal with them? the first thing most superiors would do is bring up their weaknesses.

at the moment, you don’t have much to bargain with, except for the threat of quitting. that’s why what they said isn’t going to be what you wanted to hear.

This post has been edited by incognitroll: Mar 28 2025, 12:28 PM
GamersFamilia
post Mar 28 2025, 12:00 PM

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Make sure get a new job first then quit from the current one 😁
Thebestscammer
post Mar 28 2025, 01:26 PM

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reading his feedback to you assuming iur being honest about it, sounds like ur not worth much lol
u dont want to OT, dont want to do anything above ur scope, dont want to change job, dont wnt to train juniors
yet you want a promotion? for what lol
you wanting to buy the top spec honda civic doesnt mean anything to ur boss, doesnt mean he also have to be the one to up ur salary so you can buy things you want
you basically want to have your cake and eat it too
you like that job coz its close to your house, no need jam 1hr one way every day, maybe can wfh 2 days a week, nearby also got alot of ur fav stall for lunch time, ur work not that stressful coz ur boss and team lead will QA ur work so you can be more careless in ur work and have safety net to fall back when ur email reads like dog poop and ur boss has to correct it for you, your coworkers are people ur having fun being around with.
basically you are comfrotable there and dont want to change to a higher paying job but want ur boss to give you more pay coz u were there a long time? bruh, doesnt work this way dude
you start admin job 1.5k at 19 yo then stayed at the company for 40 years you want ur admin job salary to be 8k or 10k? bruh, wake up pls lol. they rather you quit and re-hire another admin for 2.5k max throughout the lifetime of their business
i mean it takes courage for you to list out the things you are incompetent in and yet still have the balls to say you want a promotion lol
if ur boss need to QA ur email replies to make sure dont step on customer / client's toes it really goes to show the kind of people they are aiming to hire, cheap labour.

TSJimmyX
post Mar 28 2025, 02:08 PM

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QUOTE(JoeK @ Mar 28 2025, 10:10 AM)
i feel ts.. gua also sadding now..

but my problem is with HR, not with boss. HR rejected my promotion this month.

today still working. next week during cuti time on tuesday gua have to work also.

in anticipation of promotion, gua work hard. cuti also rarely take.
but now HR sudah kena kan gua. damn sad sad.gif
*
Can fuck the HR, oh wait, don’t eat shit where you eat… Seems so strange that HR can reject the promotion, maybe he/she jelly?


QUOTE(corad @ Mar 28 2025, 10:10 AM)
Does this mean you rejected 8 times to go out for a meal ?

If yes, then IMHO you need to do some reflecting as well. It's just lunch (meaning still need to come back to office) unlike dinner + drinks etc which can really drag till early morning sometimes.

I think what your Director is hinting is that they can pay more if you add more scope.

Since they mentioned it, brush up on your email skills (there's AI nowadays) so you can immediately show that you took their feedback seriously and 1 less thing for them to micromanage you about. Then keep up the "improvement" momentum and start asking for more to do every few weeks. Many office jobs can be automated, but just show the results without blabing about clever you are in using the computer. Make yourself the person that the boss can turn to get things done.

That's how you get a promotion.
*
Out of 10 times example, I was only invited twice to fill up the dining table. I have medical condition that requires me to take medication with food and very strict diet. I don’t want to create undesirable impression for customers or the company.
I used AI to summarize information and more. However, my boss always wants to review and rewrite my work to "improve" it. For example, even when I provide detailed analysis, proactive actions, more than enough, he tells me not to overthink and write "nonsense". So, what can I do? Honestly quite demotivating



QUOTE(incognitroll @ Mar 28 2025, 11:55 AM)
taking on tasks isn’t that bad anyway—provided you’ve already completed your own tasks and done them well. you just need to play a little office politics. when a superior asks why certain tasks aren’t being handled in a timely and proper manner, you can subtly hint that they’re not within your job scope while also implying that you're willing to help. that’s how one of the newcomers in my office managed to climb ahead of colleagues who had been here for 5–10 years longer.

edited:

i also need to ask if you are prepared for these tasks. if you do a good job, sooner or later, everyone will rely on you. the relatively new guy who got the top position i mentioned above is basically on call 24/7/365. even the boss needs to check things with him before dealing with agents and customers. when you reach that position, you won’t have to worry about salary—you’ll be one of the top-paid employees by then. if that still doesn’t satisfy you, it’s time to move to another company.

come to think of it, you're asking for more pay while still doing the same job. i think you should ask yourself what you can contribute to the company to make them willingly pay you more to stay. put yourself in your superior’s shoes—if someone asks for a raise but is still doing the same job, how would you deal with them? the first thing most superiors would do is bring up their weaknesses.

at the moment, you don’t have much to bargain with, except for the threat of quitting. that’s why what they said isn’t going to be what you wanted to hear.
*
I could list all the extra work I contribute (my job scope and other), but when salary discussion, my boss would just say, “I pay you for your hours, so I can ask you to do anything within the hours. Don’t be kira-kira ok, the mid-month bonus adds extra” (yeah, extra RM50-100)...

TSJimmyX
post Mar 28 2025, 02:09 PM

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QUOTE(Thebestscammer @ Mar 28 2025, 01:26 PM)
reading his feedback to you assuming iur being honest about it, sounds like ur not worth much lol
u dont want to OT, dont want to do anything above ur scope, dont want to change job, dont wnt to train juniors
yet you want a promotion? for what lol
you wanting to buy the top spec honda civic doesnt mean anything to ur boss, doesnt mean he also have to be the one to up ur salary so you can buy things you want
you basically want to have your cake and eat it too
you like that job coz its close to your house, no need jam 1hr one way every day, maybe can wfh 2 days a week, nearby also got alot of ur fav stall for lunch time, ur work not that stressful coz ur boss and team lead will QA ur work so you can be more careless in ur work and have safety net to fall back when ur email reads like dog poop and ur boss has to correct it for you, your coworkers are people ur having fun being around with.
basically you are comfrotable there and dont want to change to a higher paying job but want ur boss to give you more pay coz u were there a long time? bruh, doesnt work this way dude
you start admin job 1.5k at 19 yo then stayed at the company for 40 years you want ur admin job salary to be 8k or 10k? bruh, wake up pls lol. they rather you quit and re-hire another admin for 2.5k max throughout the lifetime of their business
i mean it takes courage for you to list out the things you are incompetent in and yet still have the balls to say you want a promotion lol
if ur boss need to QA ur email replies to make sure dont step on customer / client's toes it really goes to show the kind of people they are aiming to hire, cheap labour.
*
Dude, I can work overtime, but if the OT pay is bad and I have to work at least two hours just to claim it, it’s not worth it. I have family to take care of, especially with a baby.
I work as QA Engineer and handle not just my job scope but also tasks beyond it, HR, small IT work, office suite macros (which considered part of my job) and various admin work.
Sure, they don’t review every email I send, but the culture is already set, most of the things have to go through the boss for verification.
When did I ever say I wanted a promotion? I don’t expect one, because this company only promotes loyal staff 10+ years. I just want salary adjustment to match the market, even on the lower end because right now I’m underpaid.

GamersFamilia
post Mar 28 2025, 02:36 PM

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QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 28 2025, 02:09 PM)
Dude, I can work overtime, but if the OT pay is bad and I have to work at least two hours just to claim it, it’s not worth it. I have family to take care of, especially with a baby.
I work as QA Engineer and handle not just my job scope but also tasks beyond it, HR, small IT work, office suite macros (which considered part of my job) and various admin work.
Sure, they don’t review every email I send, but the culture is already set, most of the things have to go through the boss for verification.
When did I ever say I wanted a promotion? I don’t expect one, because this company only promotes loyal staff 10+ years. I just want salary adjustment to match the market, even on the lower end because right now I’m underpaid.
*
You're right, not worth for it since the payment bad 😕🔥
knwong
post Mar 28 2025, 04:37 PM

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How much is your increment?
amboi_asamboi
post Mar 28 2025, 05:26 PM

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QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 28 2025, 02:09 PM)
I just want salary adjustment to match the market, even on the lower end because right now I’m underpaid.
*
How much is ur salary
How much is market?
kswee
post Mar 28 2025, 07:00 PM

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Normal for company to underpaid. You need to jump.
I also make a leap which they offer me rm800 if ot and work on Saturday.
silverhawk
post Mar 28 2025, 07:23 PM

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QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 28 2025, 09:25 AM)
After my salary increment (12%), I feel it still doesn’t match the market rate,
*

QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 28 2025, 02:09 PM)
I just want salary adjustment to match the market, even on the lower end because right now I’m underpaid.
*
Dei, this is not how you negotiate salary.

Market rate is the worst justification you can use because it just shows you don't know your actual worth.

You know what is very likely? The average market rate, is on average doing a lot more work than you. You can't simply use your position/title as justification.


SUSskyblack4492
post Mar 28 2025, 08:22 PM

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Open business mixue be own boss or find new job or stay current job
incognitroll
post Mar 29 2025, 12:41 AM

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QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 28 2025, 02:08 PM)
I could list all the extra work I contribute (my job scope and other), but when salary discussion, my boss would just say, “I pay you for your hours, so I can ask you to do anything within the hours. Don’t be kira-kira ok, the mid-month bonus adds extra” (yeah, extra RM50-100)...
*
well, it's sad to hear that everything seems to be centered around you. you did extra but selective work, you think it's not worth it to do overtime, you need time for family, and you feel underpaid.

talking here also gives the impression that you are actually holding back your effort because you think it's not worthwhile. maybe you should start thinking about what the company needs and put in all your effort to contribute. by that time, i believe you wouldn’t even have to bargain for a higher salary. if you have to bargain, then you know you haven’t done enough in their eyes. if you want to wait for them to show their appreciation first before you start putting in the work, well, if one of your subordinates had this attitude, what would you do?
goodiemangold
post Mar 29 2025, 02:23 AM

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Things work both ways.
You expect company to pay you higher then only you put more effort.
Have you ever give a thought that bosses will only pay higher if they see you have given extra effort? If you have to nego and yet still doesn't get what you want, maybe the boss is not seeing the extra effort that you think you are giving. Pay must be substantiated with extra value.


Hastebreak
post Mar 29 2025, 05:00 AM

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QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 28 2025, 12:25 PM)
After my salary increment (12%), I feel it still doesn’t match the market rate, so I confronted the director about the salary adjustment. He tried guilt tripping me, I expected that. He "said" they "will" add a bit more in the mid-month bonus, said only.

Not to mention office politics especially among long-time "loyal" staff... Also, I’m not gaining valuable experience and the unrelated tasks won’t boost my resume, QA Engineer. No career growth/development in 3 years. Promotion? Likely only for those who stay 10+ years.

I'm planning to quit soon, but I feel stuck in my comfort zone, just like before, afraid to change jobs... Now got my own family, health problems, need stable jobs...
The conversation:
- He: Job satisfaction and health matter more than money. (non-existence, medical benefit)

- He: I leave on time and rarely work overtime, so money isn't a priority.

- When I mentioned market salaries being higher, he changed the topic.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

*
That is why you should never stay loyal to a company... Times are different these days, and loyalty wouldn't pay you much now. Instead, job hop every 2-4 years...

It's also to test your skillset across the wide range of real-world markets found...

You'll get to play and work around with different leaderships, people of various skillsets, monetary and talent resources in the team / department, as well as different problems to tackle...

If you find a toxic leader, then move on before you get locked in and suffer... If you find a good team, and a good management, then stay lock in and floor it...

Also... when your salary gets higher, think about how to scale a team, money-saving causes for the company, as well as big-picture thinking... biggrin.gif
TSJimmyX
post Mar 31 2025, 09:28 AM

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QUOTE(knwong @ Mar 28 2025, 04:37 PM)
How much is your increment?
*
QUOTE(amboi_asamboi @ Mar 28 2025, 05:26 PM)
How much is ur salary
How much is market?
*
400
5500-6000+ for 3 years+ experience, that's average, high about 6500+
TSJimmyX
post Mar 31 2025, 09:43 AM

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QUOTE(silverhawk @ Mar 28 2025, 07:23 PM)
Dei, this is not how you negotiate salary.

Market rate is the worst justification you can use because it just shows you don't know your actual worth.

You know what is very likely? The average market rate, is on average doing a lot more work than you. You can't simply use your position/title as justification.
*
By 'average doing a lot of work' do you mean I need to list every task and unrelated duties I've been handling outside my role to prove my worth? It seems unnecessary to go into that level of detail.
I also curious, have you had experience negotiating a salary increase or adjustment, or did you just move on when things didn't meet your expectations?
My example in the company:
Entry level (SPM) = 2 years of experience = 1000
Engineer = 3 years of experience = 2000
Average market rate = 3500

I’m still not sure why the market rate can't be a valid comparison. I briefly mentioned it to my boss, though I wasn’t really expecting much. But his response was more demoralizing than I expected.
I’m leaving soon anyway when I find better offer



QUOTE(incognitroll @ Mar 29 2025, 12:41 AM)
well, it's sad to hear that everything seems to be centered around you. you did extra but selective work, you think it's not worth it to do overtime, you need time for family, and you feel underpaid.

talking here also gives the impression that you are actually holding back your effort because you think it's not worthwhile. maybe you should start thinking about what the company needs and put in all your effort to contribute. by that time, i believe you wouldn’t even have to bargain for a higher salary. if you have to bargain, then you know you haven’t done enough in their eyes. if you want to wait for them to show their appreciation first before you start putting in the work, well, if one of your subordinates had this attitude, what would you do?
*
They aren't making any effort to improve for their own work. Whenever something comes up, they just say they don't know how to handle it and expect me to step in. Or, they use the boss's name to push me into doing things, even when it's not my responsibility (other department, e.g, I created their company website for free). Always the urgent / last minute works, as if I owe them something.
Also, while I’m already expected to them to amend my work to their preferences to avoid potentially upsetting customers, when issues arise, the blame still falls on me simply because I was the one who communicated in the email.

It's not about putting myself above/highly anyone, but more about how their work culture just doesn’t align with mine, after enduring for 3 years+.

chilskater
post Mar 31 2025, 09:53 AM

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if salary cukup2 makan just do barely enough job and no need to do extra work..if other senior guy asked for help and u helped them, make sure u emailed them and also directors(taking ur own credit coz it is ur job & deserved it)...otherwise start looking for others job, u will be surprised how low u r paid or how more skillful u are...take any freelance job if any..
the boss or directors dont know u well personally and thinks u are not part of the "company family"..

good luck bro..remember if u die today, tomorrow they got replacement for u
SUSrtk73
post Mar 31 2025, 10:10 AM

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QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 31 2025, 09:28 AM)
400
5500-6000+ for 3 years+ experience, that's average, high about 6500+
*
Syukur I work in penang with 3+ years yet earning much more than high
GamersFamilia
post Mar 31 2025, 02:39 PM

Proud to be Malaysian
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17,766 posts

Joined: Dec 2007
From: Bandar Baru Bangi , Malaysia




QUOTE(chilskater @ Mar 31 2025, 09:53 AM)
if salary cukup2 makan just do barely enough job and no need to do extra work..if other senior guy asked for help and u helped them, make sure u emailed them and also directors(taking ur own credit coz it is ur job & deserved it)...otherwise start looking for others job, u will be surprised how low u r paid or how more skillful u are...take any freelance job if any..
the boss or directors dont know u well personally and thinks u are not part of the "company family"..

good luck bro..remember if u die today, tomorrow they got replacement for u
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Well said, love your statement 😍🔥
silverhawk
post Mar 31 2025, 06:33 PM

Eyes on Target
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Elite
4,956 posts

Joined: Jan 2003


QUOTE(JimmyX @ Mar 31 2025, 09:43 AM)
I’m still not sure why the market rate can't be a valid comparison. I briefly mentioned it to my boss, though I wasn’t really expecting much. But his response was more demoralizing than I expected.
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