i prefer to be pursuit by woman
because every time i make a move i got rejected...and its a pain in the ***

thanks for sharing.
i believe everybody has their level of tolerance before an action is considered desperate.
so to different person, different levels.
you know him better, i cant advise on the "dosage".
in the end, love doesnt mean that you'll be together. just be grateful that you can experience it.
all da best, and i wish things go your way soon!

Men who pursue women doesn’t always mean he loves her. It might be because of her beauty only, sex or money, not love. And they can be very persistent to get their agenda. Those gaslighting and abusive relationship often starts when they prey and pursue on the vulnerable ones.
...
Every relationship is a “gamble”, an unknown game and you need to start in order to find out whether it works for you or not. If it doesn’t work, just get out after the trial period and start again. Thank you, next.

One thing for sure, I probably won’t pursue the way as TS does, and I sure don’t have the patience to wait for someone as long as TS does. If he makes me wait, means I am not a priority and I ain’t gonna settle for less. Life is too short for that. And there are many fishes in this world.

As a man i am attracted to women that pursue men. That means they know what they want and they go for it.
Might not be the societal norm and some may feel it cheapen the women, but those that pursue regardless just makes it more attractive and refreshing to me.

Men who have been single for a long time, have never dated or fallen in love, or have been hurt before may be drawn to me but need time to work through their emotions and past wounds. My kindness and understanding help them feel supported and safe, which often leads them to fall deeper for me and eventually open up.

This usually leads to two possible outcomes:
(A) We get into a relationship that lasts, thanks to the TLC and time we’ve spent together.
(B) Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m at peace knowing I’ve done my part to help them heal or move forward from their past.

*

In the case of both my business coach and the analyst, neither had been in serious relationships before due to fears or past bad experiences. That’s why I’ve provided them with extra TLC.

Becoming a man's first love is always a special experience, because the woman gets to witness his raw vulnerability, excitement, nervousness, uncertainties, innocence, etc... as he navigates those deep emotions for the first time. It’s a rare bond that can leave a lasting imprint on both partners, no matter where the relationship leads.

Why You Need to Date Someone Who Scares You




“If she doesn’t scare the hell out of you a little, she’s not the one”

At first glance, this meme might seem to be implying that you need to only date emotionally unstable people. But if you sit with it for a moment, it takes on a whole other (and more important) layer of meaning.

As much as mainstream media would prefer you to think otherwise, the best relationships are not all sunshine and roses.

Relationships are the ultimate vehicle for self-growth… and the best kind of love that you can engage in is the confronting kind. The kind where your partner acts as a mirror to you and they lovingly help pull all of your demons out of you over time. They act as a catalyst for positive growth.

They’ll point a flashlight into every corner of your dark mental attic, and illuminate all of the things that you try to hide from the world. And they will illuminate it with love, patience, and compassion.

Just when you expect them to run away (after having found out about your deepest, darkest secrets), they’ll tell you that they love you even more now that they know more about you.

Intimacy is about truly letting someone see you. It’s also anxiety producing for the vast majority of people. Letting someone really know you, and really see you, can be terrifying. You are laying your heart in their hands and saying to them “Please be gentle with this.” And if they’re the right one for you, they will reply back (verbally or non-verbally) “I wouldn’t dream of ever being anything else to you.”

When I first started dating again after an emotionally traumatic breakup, I was hesitant to let anyone get close to me. I engaged in surface level relationships because I feared the anxiety that intimacy produced for me. Even ‘admitting’ that I’d had a difficult day was enough to make my heart race.

In my emotional closure I didn’t think I would ever be able to open up to someone ever again.

Until one fateful day when I met someone who shook up my world entirely.

Her eyes penetrated through me. There was no hiding around her. She never had to say it out loud, but I knew that she saw me.

My ego’s first self-protective instinct was to run away and revert back to my old unproductive habits. Run away before she finds out all of the messy things about your past. Push her away before she has a chance to see past your self-deceptions. Avoid any contact with her in case she might make you feel big, scary emotions again.

My ego resisted her every step of the way. I told myself she wasn’t my usual type. I tried to hide behind things like “She’s too young/inexperienced/small town/etc. for me.” But it was all bullshit. Every thought that tried to keep me away from her was just my ego’s sad excuse to stay closed down emotionally. It was a defense mechanism and I knew it.

When I really started to show up and tell her how I was feeling (namely, scared shitless to even be around her) she received it with grace and compassion. Because even before I had verbalized it, she knew. She already saw me.

As terrifying as intimacy can be, the process of holding up our demons in the light is deeply therapeutic. Shame cannot continue to exist or thrive in the loving context of a close intimate relationship.

Was I fixed forever for having her met her? No. It’s a process like everything else. I had to repeatedly breathe into the deeper layers of anxiety as I let myself be seen more and more by her.

But I’ll be eternally grateful that I did meet her. Because her scaring the hell out of me was my ticket to a positive transformation that I never could have anticipated.

So if you’re at a place in your life where you are starting to see someone who challenges you, confronts you, and scares you on some level, take stock of whether or not you think they might be a force for positive change in your life.

Don’t date someone who scares you because they are controlling, angry, violent, or abusive in any way. That’s the bad kind of fear and it’s an unhealthy relationship to engage in. But date someone who scares you because they encourage you to face all of the things you’ve tried to suppress for so long. Date someone who lovingly pushes you to become more who you are at your core as a person. Date someone who nudges you outside of your comfort zone regularly and helps you level up in life.

It might just be the best thing you ever did for yourself.