The phrase you’re referring to, "男人不坏，女人不爱" (nán rén bù huài, nǚ rén bù ài), loosely translates to, "If a man isn’t bad, a woman won’t love him." It’s a popular saying in Chinese culture and is often used to describe the idea that women might be more drawn to men who display a bit of edginess or unpredictability.

Unpacking the Phrase
At its core, this saying suggests that some women may find a certain level of rebelliousness or boldness in men attractive. However, it’s important to note that "bad" here doesn’t necessarily mean morally wrong or harmful. Instead, it often refers to a playful sense of confidence, charisma, and an ability to break away from routine—qualities that can make someone appear intriguing and exciting.

The Psychology Behind It
Psychologically, this aligns with the classic "bad boy" trope, which portrays men as confident, self-assured, and sometimes even a bit challenging. This can make them seem more appealing, especially in the early stages of attraction. It’s the aura of unpredictability that adds a sense of adventure, which can be alluring to some. However, it's not so much about the "bad" behavior itself but more about the confidence and excitement these traits represent.

Still, it's crucial to understand that this isn't a universal rule. Not all women are attracted to men with these characteristics, and personal preferences vary widely. For many, lasting attraction is rooted more in kindness, emotional connection, and shared values than in the thrill of unpredictability.

Long-term Relationship Dynamics
While a "bad boy" persona might spark initial interest, sustainable relationships typically thrive on trust, respect, and genuine emotional connection—qualities that often fall outside of the stereotypical "bad boy" image. Real, long-term attraction is built on authenticity, communication, and mutual respect, regardless of whether someone fits a particular archetype.

Cultural and Modern Context
It’s also worth noting that this saying reflects more traditional views of romantic dynamics that might not be as relevant in today’s context. Modern relationships emphasize equality, compatibility, and mutual growth over rigid stereotypes.

Fun Fact
Interestingly, research suggests that people generally find confidence attractive, but this attraction often extends beyond mere rebelliousness. Studies, like one from the University of California, reveal that traits like kindness, humor, and intelligence often rank just as highly as confidence. So, while the saying hints at a particular kind of attraction, it’s one of many factors that play into romantic dynamics rather than a hard-and-fast rule.

Basically you just promise everything without feeling guilt just for the sake of piap.

need to have that kind of mentality

To borrow from Deng Xiaoping

You have to be a nice guy with bad boy characteristics.

Study the traits of a bad boy and incorporate some of it into your mindset and actions.

bad boys can be alluring for low self esteem females. Because their subconscious is embedded with feeling undesirable/unloved. Every female dream scenario is to find a rich+good looking+stronger sense of reality man. You can be attractive to most females if you're able to withstand pressure from every aspect, its biology.