After some casual dates, I got a new idea on how to make si mangkuk open up to physical intimacy...
so, I voice messaged him yesterday (Sat, 3 am+) and said let's keep things light and easy, start with holding hands first... because physical touch is highly therapeutic for me; helps heal my feminine energy and makes me feel so relaxed (it's my love language, actually).
I told him since I just got out of a long-term relationship, I wasn't looking for any commitment right now. I was still wounded and not ready for anything serious nor sexual at this point... and told him not to give himself too much pressure; just chill and relax together... and said I would be so happy with his companionship, and I knew he would too, with me.
He woke up in the morning, read and listened to my message... and then he disappeared again for two days now, totally off social media.
I think he will seriously consider, because it's what he wanted too in the first place; just that he was too anxious to execute until FFK 5 times
(he was too focused on his sexual thoughts and 'performance'). I'm giving him the assurance now... to start with something simple first.
If he still doesn't even want to do these with me, then I guess it's a gone case... will update again if he contacts me.
Honestly, during the 6 months when my ex didn't come and see me, I was so deprived of physical touch until I felt super lonely, unloved and unwanted... I felt I was suffering badly from skin hunger/touch deprivation until I cried while watching p*rn--- not because I wanted sxx (really no mood to do when feeling down), but because I wanted physical touch so badly.
What is skin hunger?QUOTE
Humans are wired to be touched. From birth until the day we die, our need for physical contact remains. Being touch starved — also known as skin hunger or touch deprivation — occurs when a person experiences little to no touch from other living things.
Why is touch important?Skin-to-skin contact is vital not only for mental and emotional health but physical health, too. When you feel snowed under or pressured, the body releases the stress hormone cortisol. One of the biggest things touch can do is reduce such stress, allowing the immune system to work the way it should.
Touch can also calm certain bodily functions, such as your heart rate and blood pressure. It does so by stimulating pressure receptors that transport signals to the vagus nerve. This nerve connects the brain to the rest of the body. It uses the signals to slow the pace of the nervous system.
In early life, touch is thought to be crucial for building healthy relationships by stimulating pathways for oxytocin, the natural antidepressant serotonin, and the pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine. Plus, it can tackle loneliness. According to a 2017 study, gentle touch can reduce both pain and feelings of social exclusion.
Read more:
https://www.healthline.com/health/touch-starvedThen, I googled to look for male professional cuddlers. Yes, such occupation exists and is popular in the West, but is quite rare in Malaysia. Those who advertised themselves online weren't my types and seemed kinda dodgy-- mostly male gigolos or escorts.
What are professional cuddlers?QUOTE
Professional cuddlers are trained to alleviate stress, anxiety, and loneliness with physical touch. Cuddle therapists are specifically trained in the art and science of cuddling to create a trusting and equal space for clients. These certified individuals provide therapeutic support through hugs, spooning, and gentle massage. They build relaxing, welcoming environments and listen to their clients' needs while maintaining boundaries. Cuddle therapists encourage clients to say “yes” to touches they want and “no” to touches they don’t want. This establishes boundaries that help clients feel safe, heard, and cared for. Essentially, anyone can be a cuddler, but only those trained in professional cuddling can become certified cuddle therapists and utilize cuddling as a career.
Read more:
https://www.wikihow.com/Become-a-Professional-CuddlerTo me, physical touches from males whom I like and trust are very soothing, comfortable and calming. Nothing sexual. Purely platonic and therapeutic for me.
I first had such physical touches from a male friend whom I trusted back in 2018. I was extremely sad after the first breakup with the same ex. When I saw my male friend in the MRT, my tears just rolled in the public. He felt so sayang and accompanied me back to my condo, hugged me and touched me (arms, back, head, tummy) to calm me down. We cuddled for a few hours until I was totally calm and smiling again. He felt happy that he could do something for me. We were not in romantic relationship as bf/gf.
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So ya, that's my own unique experiences. To me, it's perfectly valid to enjoy non-sexual physical touch as a form of emotional support and connection when I am single and not in any relationship. My body has this need and I don't want to suppress/deny it.
How do I feel? Well, when a man touches me respectfully in a non-sexual way, I feel.... safe, trusting, cared for, emotionally warm, comforted, desired, relaxed, protected, validated, accepted, encouraged... all the positive emotions just flood into my body and calm my nervous system (women are prone to being emo and anxious easily no matter how hard they try to control themselves sometimes-- it's just how the female brain is wired).
If the man is tall, masculine, physically strong, good-looking (the more the positive traits, the better)... and such a man touches me, I would say that is a strong booster shot of confidence and affection into my self-image and self-esteem. Feels so damn good, really.
Lastly, non-sexual physical touches from men relieve the pressure from women to 'service' the men. It's a form of platonic love, care and reaffirmation without expecting sex in return. Yes, the man has to keep his little head under control, which is a form of hmm... self-restraint and sacrifice for the woman's pleasure and happiness. I think this is some of the most wonderful feeling and sensation to enjoy as a woman, fulfilling our deep emotional need for connection and affection. I really appreciate such men. ❤️
Si mangkuk is tall, handsome, accomplished, and well-built; I'd really love to be touched by a man like him. He pursued me and offered me non-sexual physical intimacy first, but he was equally shy... haih, hope he'll be proactive again soon...
Sep 17 2024, 12:09 PM
Quote
You understand me well between the lines. 
Sometimes, people dunno what they have until it's gone. Cliché, but true.
That's why ranting here late at night. Pardon me. 
They weren't disappointed. 
stalker analyst kah ni
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