Make sure to blow a few hours per week (or day) on LYN forum
That'll keep the mind active as well.
Happy retirement and all the best, you are a true gentleman !

Thank you kind sir!

101% agree!!!!!!!

The law of hypergamy - a woman who thinks she is attractive will seek to date up and find a man of a higher value than her. Income plays a significant role in her value assessment.

So if she chooses a guy who makes half of what she makes, she might eventually see that as settling for less and not fully optimizing her own value in the dating marketplace.

Alternately, a man who makes half of what she makes might also feel he loses his sense of authority or leadership in the relationship due to his financial position, which is usually viewed negatively by society.

For a relationship in which the income disparity heavily favours the woman to work, the man must have some other overwhelmingly redeeming qualities to overcome the law of hypergamy.

Borrowing your reply to express some thought on the decision making + observations taking place lately.

***

1) You yourself being a doctor in service makes a different. Profession like doctor is highly looked upon traditionally & it "promises" a boundless future prospect. Hence, it would not be difficult decision to be made by your wife, to stack all on you while watching you to develop. If not a doctor, a profession like a lawyer, architect, accountant, etc may have the same effect. What if you are not in the line with boundless prospect traditionally ? It is easier to make decision in life if there were proven examples from the previous generation. What if the field you in, there was no known success record, would the wife decision making still be the same ? I believe this part somehow will have significant influence on the her decision making.

2) The intellectual level of your wife also plays important role. Her, being the top student during the pre-u time + both of you enrolled into the same university, it is no surprise that she already attained certain level of wisdom to make the calculated risk decision.

If not a doctor, then what else she wanted to "exchange" it with? Wise ppl will only take risk if the risk reward is way significant. Risking it for a lawyer? an accountant ? an architect etc. is it worth the risk to "exchange" or it is a waste of time? Hence, eventually sticking to the doctor candidate seems to most rationale. Had she was not from the "intellectual" capable category, the past observations from the previous generation would have lead it to the same decision - stick to the doctor.

3) The "action" that the doctor already sitting for the specialist examinations back then carry a significant weightage. Many ppl discuss & talk about their plan but never executed the plan. In the end ,nothing progress.

Whereas, the ppl who execute their imperfect plan (fails , try again) will eventually reach their new milestone. Just like the smartphone - just launched the version 1.0 even though with bugs or defects , improvise it on the version 2.0, 3.0, 4.0 ,etc along the way. This should be adapted to the way of living. Start living, not waiting for the perfection.

Then ppl will say, it is easy to say if you are the doctor or professional with prospects, what if we belong not to the professional field ? There were these the interesting encounters I met by chance over the time ( around 9~10 real life cases).

The most recent one, a school dropout, became the hairstylists at the age of 18 y.o by moving from the small town to KL. From a hairstylist job, he ventured into fashion/garment business because his then gf ( now his wife) feeling heartache seeing him suffering for skipping the lunch & dinner just to ensure his customer's hair was done. He then became rich & made his $$ from the fashion/garment business ( leveraging by expansion). However, the good time do not last forever. The e-commerce revolution thing caught him unprepared. From the millions he made previously, he ran into debts, owing his suppliers money & loan sharks. He didn't gave up his fate, he faced the obstacles. Slowly, he regained his foot again, cleared his debts. Now he is the co-owners(with his wife) a real estate agency hiring 50~60 real estate agents.

There are more than 1 of such real life stories, each of them are showing a common trait - they displayed the " rich people attitude". It just that the frequency of meeting such ppl is getting more frequent, I just think such observation need to be posted.

***
For the girls - if you manage to find the candidate that keep standing up on their foot up even though he got beaten badly over & over = action displaying this "rich people attitude". Stick to this kind of candidate before they get mature because this will the auto self-upgrading smart phone which will relaunch themselves over the times, version 1.0, 2.0,3.0…16.0 , etc. It is matter of time they will reach the "rich" state. The life journey from version 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, till version 16.0 etc will be so "rich" and envied by most ppl. This type of people values " the charcoal sent to them during the winter".

If you are targeting the rich candidate + quality candidate - which is very rare to be available / single (unless his previous SO passed away due to illness / unfortunate incident), you will never be able to enter the deepest region in their heart for the "absolute submission". Over the time, ppl gained wisdom & will question the motive/intention. That's why it is harder for the older ppl to make new friends.

***
To the TS - you want to address the issue about the salary different with gf/wife, you need to move yourself to this self-upgrading smart phone sector. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".

***
To the doc, having a clear path in life is a blessing by Heaven - your path is the example/ benchmark for many. Too many choices in the life sometime can become a misfortune as it will become a distraction.

disclaimer - purely for the idea & thought, nothing on personal level.

hmm.. flirt with IT supplier?? oh gosh.. is that your wife? hmm... not saying anything i think i know who liao

My wife earns more.

So I left my job to jaga baby

Wow! So much wisdom in one reply. Thanks for taking the time! Very insightful and useful to learn. Thanks!

For real? How's life as househusband?

Jaga baby is a lot of work

My wife was h.wife for more than 10yrs while am breadwinner.

Somehow, there is time where could not cope with high living cost.

Kids growing, edu fee also growing.

Vehicle also not anymore from point A to B. It's more toward safety & comfort of family

Food that consume not about nutrition & fill the hunger, but add on about tastyness & ig'able.

Esp after covid, perception about life changed.

With ventured into insurance industry, her take home pay escalated >1-2x than mine

Off course felt about less alpha nowadays

As equal or as feminist any woman portray, from experience they are likely to respect men who are more capable then her. All these are biologically ingrained, nothing wrong with that though. Despite all the empowerment, nearly all expect their men to handle the bills plus the hard labor part as any man should.

Though not the norm, imagine you guys had been paying all bills 50:50 and one day you guys had an argument and she blurted that she is the man of the house, how would you feel?

This post has been edited by MishimaZ: Oct 24 2024, 09:38 AM