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 Why do people cheat?, why cannot break up or divorce first?

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TSadonhhk
post Aug 5 2024, 11:50 PM, updated 2y ago

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From: Jurong West, HHK Group Pte Ltd
I am happily married, almost 10 years, don't understand why some people have to cheat?

If you really think it feels better to be with someone else, then just break up/divorce first, then you can be with someone else with no issue, right?

Why secretly cheat, sometimes for many years too? What is the logic?

Want to experience different feel with many partners at the same time? Don't be in a relationship then, just be a "player" with other consensual "players", nobody gets hurt and you can enjoy as many different partners as you want.

Or if want to be in "open" relationship, get your partner's consent first, then can date whoever you want, don't cheat after your partner rejected your "open" preference, just break up or divorce first, find someone else that shares your open idea, easy right?

I really don't understand the psychology of cheaters, makes no sense.

After exposed, they beg for forgiveness, cry like children. rclxub.gif

Cheaters with kids even worse, why hurt your whole family like that? Just divorce first, say you no longer feel the same way, then date whoever you want, as long as you take care of your kids afterward.

Sometimes both have kids, still cheat with each other, ruin two families at same time, wtf? rclxub.gif

I cannot understand these people, no logic at all.

Maybe it's like drug addiction, cannot stop once started, brain and body out of control? rclxub.gif

This post has been edited by adonhhk: Aug 5 2024, 11:51 PM
TSadonhhk
post Aug 6 2024, 11:30 AM

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From: Jurong West, HHK Group Pte Ltd
QUOTE(-mystery- @ Aug 6 2024, 09:04 AM)
some married women still rely on their husband for financial help and cannot cut the tie right away, ive also met some successful carrier women who already had their child raised up to primary school, when the stress is lessened they tend to come out find some alpha seeds to be impregnated

thats dilemma of modern women
they are not able to find alpha and beta qualities (complete package) on the same guy, and even though they are able to find that horse prince, usually he aint gonna settle down earlier before her eggs dried up
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That sounds sexist and made up, no offense. ohmy.gif
TSadonhhk
post Aug 6 2024, 06:38 PM

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From: Jurong West, HHK Group Pte Ltd
QUOTE(w19 @ Aug 6 2024, 03:29 PM)
Base on my life experience the problem come from character or money!
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What sort of character and money from who?
TSadonhhk
post Aug 9 2024, 05:26 PM

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Junior Member
137 posts

Joined: Jun 2014
From: Jurong West, HHK Group Pte Ltd
QUOTE(w19 @ Aug 8 2024, 12:02 PM)
Character - Bitch, Gold digger, Lazy, Materialistic, Mistress, Uneducated, Vanity.....
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Men or women? Men totally not to blame?

QUOTE(Takudan @ Aug 8 2024, 09:43 PM)
Think about this part: you typically need to get to know someone good enough to know that you WANT to be with that person. I'd bet most cheaters don't realise they're cheating until it's too late, already invested, FELL in love...

Anyway, short answer: human is not perfect, and we all seek something from our relationships, be it romance or friendship. You cross the line* the moment you seek something elsewhere your partner disagrees with. *That line is usually agreed by both parties.

Esther Perel is a professional/expert in this topic, you can find in YouTube.
I'd love to talk more but lazy to write haha...
*
How can you not know you are cheating? Having feeling is one thing, but to actively pursue it and "pairing" with another, behind your partner's back, is not exactly an "accident".

How to justify?


QUOTE(ctys2012 @ Aug 9 2024, 11:31 AM)
to me its pure chance and willingness of the other party to participate although they knew the other person is married...
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How to justify though? You still need to actively engage in the cheating, it's not an accident, chance or not.

 

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