The laws of Japanese Animation is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of Japanese animation. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Japanese Animation physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
* Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone's cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. *NOTE: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain's suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they don't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.
*Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. *Also, acid has been known to work just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren't...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
*Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome "Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#33- Law of Constant Attire- Clothing in anime never changes, and in the case the clothes are destroyed Anime characters will always have a spare.

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don't hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
*Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 4Cool

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they've never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

*#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food.This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

*#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won't have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

*#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today's society. (>Sniff Sniff<>

*#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

*#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they've seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon")

*52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO'S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don't give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn't react are:
1) They're preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They'd rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don't give a damn.

+#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

+#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

+#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

+#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken. The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

+#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face's total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

+#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look.
A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

+#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

+#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character's attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn't get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.)

+#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

+#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

+#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

+#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
*(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

+#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy's face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49)

+#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

+#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy's" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy's" Style Coefficient.

+#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character's consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

+#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy's" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

+#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

+#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. *(see Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

+#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character's next scene.

+#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

+#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and exposition]), Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

+#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

+#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

+#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. *(see Laws 32 & 4Cool
+#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

*#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn't work in real life...

*#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain's cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

*#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you're normally a klutz.

*#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.

*#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that's impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

*#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

*#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84)

*#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they've never won against the "Good Guy" (because they're Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
B) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

*#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

*#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

*#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large p0n0s (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

*#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

*#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take p0n0s lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vag00.

*#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

*#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because:
1) It's his girlfriend's.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil' mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It's her boyfriend's.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

*#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability thatenables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

*#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She's 18! No! Really, she is! I'm not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

*#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")

*#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

*#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor's assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

*#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character's interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

*#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

*credit goes to proselyte, Insane Advocate and his 2 friends for this awesomeness :3

Uuu, so much have to read. Hurm, kinda interesting. Now reading....

wtf friggin' lot. read later

it applies in all movies...lolx...

I can never finish reading it....

LoL Law 90# .. tat why hentai soo nice wo ? wakakk xD

zomg... I finished it... XP

I got 2 to add;

The law of instantaneous size variability: When certain conditions are satisfied, the size of the subject may reduce to that of a child. Normally accompanied by the reduction in the size of the eyes to mere dots and the disappearance of the nose and mouth.

Clothing makers in the anime realm has already started manufacturing clothes that shrink WITH the character to accomodate this anomally.

May occur concurrently with the Law of Sweat Pore Variability.

Conditions include the Law of Bad Humor.


The Law of Fluid Molecular Concentration Gradient Distortion:

Whenever conditions are satisfied, there will be airflow no matter where the subject is to create a visually pleasing ambience intensity.

Conditions include the annoying talking part before a battle, the revelation of the subject's dark secret that makes him reminise on some sad memories, the parting/reuinion of lovers and before an event that will be the turning point in the series.

This post has been edited by kerazul: Nov 3 2007, 02:36 AM

Law of Plot Armor and Character Vulnerability - There are none whatsoever. When a character is supposed to be dead, they're being resurrected by an elf with big tits in actual fact.

the law of drill - drill are as strong as blade. it is so strong that sometimes, it can pierce through stuff that cannot be destroy by heavy particle cannon

Err... Jumbor's Law of Construction???

laws would apply if your definition of anime is just within the genres of shonen/mech/harem.

which anime have amazingly normal eye? lol

Normal eye ?



Sure

haha, nice one...

normal eye arr... Hmmm...

Initial D and GTO

Initial D? Haven't you noticed the character design is rather odd?

yeah... especially the part between the upper-lip and the nose. Looks like they're puckering up all d time.

But at least they don't have baseball-sized eyes.

Here's another list.

1) They are called anime even though it is an animation just because the Japanese are too dumb to pronounce animation.
2) Fanservice pawnz all.
3) All girls have big glowing eyes.
4) In harem animation, a man can be loved by more than 10 women.
5) Law of pyshics doesn't apply in animation.
6) No matter what happens, the hero will gain enough strength to defeat the bad guys even though been beaten like crap.
7) Flasbacks are t3h s3x!
8) Naruto and Bleach pawnz all any other awesome animations.
9) Girlish looking men are the main ingredients for a good animation.
10) In harem animation, the guy is too dense to know that all the girls that he knew love him including his sister, his mother and his relatives.
11) There will always be parodies in every comedy animation.
12) The more retarded a plan is, the more likely it is to work.
13) In cooperation with the above rule, the main enemy always has a genius plan that fails.
14) Additionally, any unimportant character NEVER gets into fights. If they do, they are beaten easily.
15) When a character performs an attack, they MUST yell out it's name, therefore giving their opponent the obvious advantage of knowing what they're going to do, but never doing what they can do to prevent or counter it. If they don't yell out the name, it doesn't count because that's cheating.
16) The louder said character shouts the name of an attack, the more powerful that attack will be.
17) No matter how long the preparation to an attack, and no matter how many spangly things are created, the preparation cannot be interrupted before it is complete, the attack is permitted to miss however.
18) Internal monologues and/or long emotional conversations may never be interrupted, even if they take place in the middle of world-saving battles.
20) When in doubt, scream loudly and sacrifice yourself to have no effect on the enemy.
21) The main character always has the power to save their respective world.
22) The bad guy always dismisses the main character(s) as a minor annoyance, but never suspect them to have superpowers and might even go so far as to pass up the opportunity to kill or maim him/her on several occasions.
23) There are samurais and ninjas. At least one. Or else.
24) You may not start pwning the bad guy until the cool music starts.
25) The more an enemy brags about easily owning the hero, the easier that enemy will be defeated.
26) Before the final showdown between the main character and the main villain, they must each stare at each other for at least 30+ minutes and review how they got where they are and what they are about to do (in case you missed the entire season). Meanwhile, the other minor characters stand patiently off to the side usually commenting on the two important characters.
27) The main character must always have some outrageously powerful ability that no one else has, but must never be able to control it.
28) No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago.
29) No matter what the odds are and how powerful the enemy is, the hero will have flashbacks occurring for 5 minutes in about 3 seconds realtime, before gaining enormous strength and killing the bad guy.
30) A woman's breast size is determined by math, whereas h equals head size and b equals breast size. That is LAW.
31) Women fall in love with guys who are in yaoi. Listen up, you won't get with them. They're gay.
32) If men see them while they're nude (which will be likely to happen), women can punch men so hard that they are thrown into the stratosphere, (no matter how incredibly powerful they are in combat) then fall down and only obtain minor bruises.
33) If, at any point, a man (even a gay man, in some cases) sees a naked woman, he will come down with an instant and explosive nosebleed. the amount of blood and the energy released by said blood depends on how many women there are, how naked they are, how large their breasts are, and how inconvenient it is for the main character to have a nosebleed at that precise moment and/or how funny the situation is. This law doesn't apply to lesbians. Also no matter how much blood appears to be pouring from the characters nose not a single trace of it is present after said incident.
34) If you are a girl you must wear a short skirt, have orange, blue, pink or other odd hair colors that most REAL people would look stupid with.
35) At least once per two episodes, a large breasted woman must get her shirt cut open.
36) In mecha animation, the underage girl pilot always has a unique mech. This is partially because said girl usually has exceptional skills or special abilities, but mostly because it will please the audience.
37) In all no-way-out situations, 1 + 1 really does equal a window.
38) Otherworldly beings always immediately know how to speak Japanese/English/French/whatever.
39) When injured, characters receive bandages instantly - even without going to the hospital or calling an ambulance.
40) The larger and tougher-looking someone is, the weaker they are, and vice-versa.
41) Concerning mechs, the larger and heavier a mech is, the faster and more agile it will be; This can however be incorrect if the larger heavier mech is piloted by the bad guy, in which case it will be clumsy.
42) Additionally, transformation (mecha, magical girl, monster, building, whatever) must be shown transforming in slow motion EVERY TIME they are shown, rather than only the first time.
43) Male (and sometimes female) characters have at least 13 gallons of blood.
44) No matter what timeframe the show is set in -- past, present, or future -- the main hero and his antagonist will both use a sword for a weapon. These swords will be far more powerful than any gun and often capable of distance attacks.
45) A sword can cut through everything except other swords (including wooden swords). The only exception to this rule is if you don't have faith in your sword.
46) Every character has one set of clothes.
47) One black person max per animation. Other characters (despite their physical features) are usually Japanese unless stated otherwise.
48) Whenever the hero is in danger, the ex-enemy would usually wait until the last second to miraculously save him, then get beat up until he and the hero team up.
49) While it may take most people 10 years to develop some incredible skill or ability, the main character can always do it in three days. This also applies to regaining powers that have been permanently stripped and are unattainable by humans. However, failing to complete the assigned task ALWAYS results in death, period.
50) When failing to complete an assigned task results in death, the hero will always seem hopelessly doomed to failure, then miraculously succeed at the very last possible moment, or, occasionally, at the moment just after he is supposed to have died.

Credits goes to me, my friends and the Internet. Pure win.

This post has been edited by flame13th: Nov 4 2007, 03:00 PM

WOW

you all sure got tons of time

Ya...Anime normally is not logical

Especially the harem, i am pissed by all the main char that they are totally losers!!! How can they loved by so many cute girls?????

Even some of they go beyond the borders and attract the main char with all her sexually appearance??

THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!

IT'S ANIME!!! Yeah, that thing only happen in anime. Who'd like to love loser in the reality?

Heh, life is not fair to start with...

I am not totally a loser, but after 20 years of life, i finally figure that

Girls like guys who are either rich or handsome....

I am watching Anime because i cant accept that ( I am neither of those... )

If you can fit a penis through it, a tentacle is fine too.

Law of Ueki - as long as you have friends, you are teh invinciblez!!111

..............okok

Friends...invincible....

wow!! sugoi neh.....such lengthy laws...yaikss...starting to feel dizzy a bit....

Ya....

I wonder how they got the patient to write...

If got money can pawned the girl you like?right?

Should able to....

I dunno why, just find that guys who are handsome and rich can really bluff

Girls go to him for math lesson even that guys math sucks!!!!

Haiz.....

tat really shows how indepth and complicated to come up with Jap Anime...

ya

Anime is indeed DEEP!!!

Especially the harem...............

Male hentai characters have unlimited stamina works.

Ya

Unlimited bullets!!!!!

super shot!!!!

UNLIMITED CUM WORKS.

HAHA

And the Ladies inside are.....

How to say?? They even say "thank you" after being raped....

OMG!!!! What are they thinking??

Lol,that's the main rule of anime :
"Anime should meant to make people hope for things that appears in the anime... no matter how impossible it is..."

YAYA

Anime is for ILLUSION!!!

HAHA

I know what for a long time, but just dont want to accept...

I mean love between male and female

Post LS for what??

This post has been edited by Endless9930: Nov 6 2007, 12:07 PM

Read properly...i never meant your post.

??

Girls taste better??

Why??

...............

okok

So.... You watch "girls with girls" hentai laa

But nowadays, girls with d*** exists in hentai....so enjoy laa

Watch Bible Black, newfag.

And remember.. Even the hero met the girl for like two seconds, he will be ready to sacrifice his life for her.

HAHA.....

They tend to use hot blood guys for anime

They dont think, they act, thats why!!

The Japs are indeed loosing idea in creating creative animation storyline.

O'rly? That's the reason why many USians are using Japs storyline in their movies right now?

Because there aren't that many storyline in USA but in Japan it already a common one that most people are already bored about most of the animations. Same goes with me, I got bored watching different animations but with the same plot and all.

Agree!! Gundam Seed and Gundam OO are two good example

Even naruto, hunter x hunter , mar.....etc

They all look alike

It depends on what you want to watch right?

Ya, darker and black and skull man are new to me, they dont quite obey the law of Anime.

But most of the anime are alike , maybe i should say , Manga are alike.

because most anime are actually adapted from Manga.

Well, the type that always repeating are generally main char who are hot blooded ( which i hate the most ) and dont think at all....

But surprisingly , although they are drop out ( Eg Naruto ) They eventually become very powerful and able to make everyone respect him

Ya, in anime , bullshit like "nakama is everything " always appear, although they say "friend" , its more like "luck " is on their site

And, anime tend to have a trend, like the one mentioned in "Law of anime" , they will shout out the name of whatever is going to come out......

Ya...This almost appear in every action anime...

The reason i stop one piece and naruto is this unrealistic behavior of the char.

When i first time saw suzumiya haruhi, it was something different...

Ya, i thought its just some school comedy at first, until 2nd episode ( That time i dont know what happened really !! )