Yes, yes, I know, chasing after an office colleague is risky and often discouraged. But I really want to give this one a try. Here's my situation:

- We are in different departments; she had just joined the company a few months ago and happened to be in the same group during our recent company teambuilding.

- During the teambuilding we made (what I felt) pretty good casual chat as an initial getting-to-know-each-other

- After the teambuilding, I immediately got Covid and stayed home the whole week (24th-28th June). The night I finally tested negative I texted her a bit, she replied a couple of times then stopped.

- The next Tuesday I noticed she was staying back late. I teman-ed her for a bit and had (what I felt) a nice chat. (I felt) she was reciprocative and her conversations seemed engaged, like she could smile and make witty comments.

- On Thursday she texted me on our company messaging platform for some work stuff. I made some jokes and she seemed to like it, and she made some witty come backs too.


The confusing part is that when I text her on Whatsapp after work, she would reply only once. She did say she usually just watches shows/dramas after work.
Even my text from yesterday morning hasnt been replied till now.


Yes, it could be she's not interested. Maybe she just wants to be nice when we're in the office.

But I feel like I need the closure (if my assumptions are correct), so that I dont waste time trying to chase the wrong girl and/or endlessly wondering what her situation is. I tend to overthink when I'm left hanging like this, so I'd much rather have the thing cleared up and move on if necessary.

But instead of directly raising this matter, what I had thought of was to ask her: "What would be the best way I can get to know you better?" , which I feel sounds more positive in terms of intentions. Of course most likely she could figure that I'm asking because of her non-replies but,

What better steps can I take?

Thanks as always.

Add info: We are on staggered work-from home schedules so we dont see each other in office all the time
Add info: She has lunch by herself when at work as she wants her "me time"
Add info: I havent asked directly, but from past conversations it may seem she is still single (she did not mention dating/ BF in her free time)

This post has been edited by RigerZ: Jul 7 2024, 05:46 PM

She is not interested in you-- anyone who is romantically interested would find an excuse to carry on texting/conversations

Getting creep vibes from this. What's the age difference?

Bro, 101% she dont like you! Girl, very simple! Like you she will reply you instantly.

There’s no closure cuz this ain’t machine stuffs and she’s just a colleague, ur relationship with her is just a friend, don’t put all the eggs in one basket and put all hope on her only then u move on, move on now and proceed to other girls

Maybe she forgot, or she don’t want to reply u immediately cuz she don’t want to sell herself cheap, maybe she liked u that moment but don’t now, but whatever, u didn’t make things worse, yet , because u two are still under the same company

TS,

Looks like she is type of person who values personal boundary and me times. Which translates that she wants to follow her own life rhythms and might want take things slow in the matter of heart.

Get to know how she thinks, her views on the world, on life, on her own family members, on career, on her unfinished life goals... etc, by starting from normal friends level first.

If she is a high value lady, then she would need someone who could match her levels when it comes to relationship and marriage.

Which translates that, TS would need to keep working on self development on various aspects of life....

...... IF you're going to expect some kind of serious relationship with her after passed the friend level..


Are you prepared to accept for who she is at the core of her soul in the next few decades ?




This post has been edited by Life_House: Jul 9 2024, 12:10 AM

There’s also an adage worth remembering before you get any deeper into this…

Never shit where you work.

Ts..just ask her out la....

Be direct with your intentions

You need to man up

But instead of directly raising this matter, what I had thought of was to ask her: "What would be the best way I can get to know you better?" , which I feel sounds more positive in terms of intentions. Of course most likely she could figure that I'm asking because of her non-replies but,

No no no no no, you don't ask girls like that la

Y not just ask her out for some hiking activity as a start. If she said no without any other suggestion, that would give you a lot of hints already that she's not interested in you.

If she said yes, then you can update us.

In the meanwhile, go get to know other girls rather than focusing on her alone.

she's not interested.

This one clear.

U syiok sendiri. She is not interested.

Next step is to move on.

overnight messages goes unreplied? she's not interested in ur bruh ...
she might be just "going nice" even if she feel you're annoying her in office

That’s my gut feel too.

If a girl likes you, you will know it. Else just be polite and move on, plenty fish in the sea.

If you really want to try, I suggest group outing preferably with another couple. You can easily judge how she is around you and conclude if she is interested or not.

I agree with the advice the others have given you. If you find it hard to “let go” then, group outings may be helpful for you to slowly wean yourself off the dopamine high.

And to be fair, it’s not like she’s been blowing hot and cold and leading you on by dropping hints. I didn’t get that impression from the way you described things, so it may very well be your own interpretation and wishful thinking…

Nevertheless, good luck with things and I hope the dice land the way you hoped.

people got boy friend la
after work need to teman boyfriend
at work just trying to be nice and polite with you
TS over think

did u ever do that? those hot nurses

btw, TS, she not interested in you. she just being polite at work.
if she interested, she will 10000% reply back in whatsapp after working hours just to write random stuff to keep the convo going.
move on already.

No. I was already married when I started work. Also, junior doctor days are no where as glamorous as what ER or House MD or Grey’s Anatomy would have you believe man. If we had time, we’d first try shit, shower and shave… in that order. Most of the time, we don’t even have time to shower.

i would though hot nurses would throw themselves at rich / hot doctors. especially SG doctors.
doctors gateway to riches for the nurses.

Haha. Only in the movies mate. Only in the movies.