Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

Advice Wanted How to proceed from dating to relationship?

views
     
Cubalagi
post Jul 1 2024, 09:57 PM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(TTZK @ Jul 1 2024, 08:43 PM)
I mean the whole watching movie experience is awkward, we just watch silently then go back haha.
1. Definitely not going to say "I LOVE YOU"  doh.gif I am not in LOVE, what I meant is what I am interested in her should I express it or should I ask her out more so that we get comfortable when we stay together, sorry for the misunderstanding.
2.  hmm.gif
3. Ya that what i think too...
*
No need to admit.

Men show interest by our actions.The fact that u take her our for movie already showed u are interested in her. Are u in the habit of taking people u dont like to movies with u? Dont have to say it.

Anyway, taking girls out for movies when u havent breached the physical barrier is usually a bad idea. U messed up there.

Now going forward, I think just go out normal, if you still can. Nothing fancy but preferably interesting/engaging that both of u can enjoy.

And break the physical barrier! If u cant then better call it quits as that is going the friendzone way.





.






Cubalagi
post Jul 3 2024, 03:56 PM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(Takudan @ Jul 2 2024, 03:05 AM)

As for breaking physical barrier: personally for me, I'm slow to warm up so too early would likely scare me away. I'm sure there's a spectrum and I might be on a far end, you'll just have to find that out what may work for her by observing her in person. If she touches you herself then I think that's a positive sign.
*
If you are having a meal with a male friend and he taps your arm and ask you to pass the menu to him..will u be scared? What about a gentle elbow nudge? Or your knees or feet accidentally brushing his under the table?

Thats how I first break physical barrier with a girl. Not very scary to the girl I think.



Cubalagi
post Jul 4 2024, 02:34 PM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(Takudan @ Jul 3 2024, 09:01 PM)
Ahh, small "accidental" gestures are fine. What I had in my mind was an incident where I met someone I barely knew at a public function, we sat down and talked, and he proceeded to touch my thigh like holding for way too many seconds, and it was very uncomfortable to me. I was frozen in fear in that moment, but it's been so long, so it's not something I'd make a fuss anymore.. just that the fear is etched in my mind.

To many, I may be overreacting for a simple touch like that... But I wouldn't want any awkward sincere guy looking for love to be mistakenly taken for a pervert lol. So just saying this that if you wanna create accidental touches, that's fine until she realises you're faking it. If you're too nervous to be natural, then it means you yourself aren't ready to break the barrier.
*
Thats guy was a creep and a fail.

I recommend old school approach of gradual escalation.

Accidental touches first
Then Intentional but innocent touches
Only then can go for more intimate touch

Precondition is that the date must be going well and the girl is comfortable.


Cubalagi
post Jul 5 2024, 09:48 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(hksgmy @ Jul 4 2024, 03:44 PM)
Most males of teenage years and some even into their early 20s will find it hard to keep their eyes and hands to themselves… blame biology and hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.
*
I actually think its the opposite.

Many young men are too scared to initiate touch with girls. Can see also from the many posts in this forum. Go out for for umpteenth times with a girl and nothing happened.

In their mind its the fear that if I touch her and she thinks its creepy, she wont want to see me again.




Cubalagi
post Jul 6 2024, 09:40 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(hksgmy @ Jul 5 2024, 03:02 PM)
Perhaps, I guess. Things might have changed heaps since my time. My peers all used to say the same thing about their daughters… oh please don’t let karma dictate they (the daughters) end up with a boy like themselves in the past hahahaha
*
"Our" time u mean? 🤣 since Im also.your peer.

Main difference I think is the prevalance of social media. Social media makes the dating market far more competitve and has created higher/unreasonable standards.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jul 6 2024, 09:40 AM
Cubalagi
post Jul 7 2024, 08:49 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(hksgmy @ Jul 6 2024, 01:21 PM)
Hahah... sorry bro, I keep thinking you're much younger than me!  notworthy.gif
*
Dont worry, many ladies think that way too 😉


Cubalagi
post Jul 14 2024, 10:41 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(TTZK @ Jul 13 2024, 11:13 PM)
Things aren't getting worse, but they're not getting any better either. We chat from time to time, and every time, I'm the one starting the conversations and trying to keep them going smoothly. However, I feel like she's not really that interested, so maybe its time for me to move on. I don't want to act like some desperate guy who keeps chatting even when she's not interested.
*
Bro

Its not getting better because nothing interesting is happening or has happened.

And let me guess your conversation is u asking her what shes up to?



Cubalagi
post Jul 15 2024, 10:09 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(TTZK @ Jul 14 2024, 11:28 AM)
that's true
Usually, we talk about various topics, and during the conversation, I ask how she's been recently, I will end the conversation if I feel that she's not really interested.
I take it as friend relation now, so i do what friends do.
*
Dis u manage to go out with her since the movie date?
Cubalagi
post Jul 18 2024, 07:42 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(TTZK @ Jul 16 2024, 09:45 PM)
Haven't asked since then... planning to ask again soon. Any good suggestions?
*
Does she/you drink? If yes, will.make things easier.

Unker like me prefer comfort and chill.

For eg I will go for italian dinner, and after dinner move venue to a nearby comfy bar, like a whisky bar and just chill n chat. The risk here is crickets, those awkward silence moments. You can manage this by having the right frame of mind and being very relaxed.

Another alternative is u can do the happening route, like going to those small packed speakeasy bars or a club. This solves the cricket problem as the two of u will be people watching. It has the advantage of being forced to be close to talk to each other and gives a lot of chance to hold her hand.

Or you can do the adventurous things like hiking as some suggest here.

Up to you.

Whatever it is, u need to break the touch barrier.



Cubalagi
post Jul 18 2024, 08:47 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(hksgmy @ Jul 18 2024, 08:25 AM)
Wow... *furiously taking notes* ... pearls of wisdom right there bro.

But, can I just kaypoh and ask... did you mean the above before you were married, or do you still do the above with your waifu now that you are? (Assuming you're married), or (scandalously so), are you doing the above with fresh fish?
*
No bro..I sadly found myself divorced in my mid 40s and made the decision not to be foreveralone. Hence I started dating again. I also decided that its no point to go for women my age and went for women between 25-35.


Cubalagi
post Jul 18 2024, 10:34 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
4,491 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(hksgmy @ Jul 18 2024, 09:00 AM)
I like your attitude. Divorce is not a death sentence, but can be a fresh start for survivors smile.gif
*
Not a death sentence, but a big fine 😆



 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0227sec    0.35    6 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 8th December 2025 - 01:27 AM