The best time is the part chasing and courting.. after that it's going to be stable

How is the chasing part... fun?

Sure it's fun for a few hours when I get to see her. But after that it's days of waiting for her text/call that may never come. It's painful.

Guess you got no experience in this kind of stuff ah?

Kinda. If I'm good at this I won't be here asking questions. Please do share any tips you have.

I already said what I need to say. Never give up.

no need to cut.

just do ur own thing and act as if nothing happened.

once gal rejected u, there is no way u get back. basic rule.

I'm one who got through that feeling years after cutting off the friendship. For context, I used to like someone at work (he's single) and we got kinda close as friends, to a point he started suspecting I liked him. Eventually I confessed, but got rejected that he only treated me as a good friend. We stayed friends (at my request), but I found myself more and more stuck in the loop. At first I was conflicted and was bad at processing my emotions, mind you I was crying every night, then decided to chase after him anyway, by asking him out 1:1, giving up after like 10 rejections throughout the year?

He left the company after, still single, but we still keep in contact on chat. Again many months later, I realised I was never getting over without cutting contact, so I abruptly blocked him and that's really when I started moving on I guess. Nightly tears became monthly fast forward to now... Never.

I don't know how others are able to stay friends and get over someone they like romantically, but I know I'm not one of them. Sounds like we're of the same kind, so I'd suggest you the same too. You can always try asking her out a few more times and you might get a different ending than me (I have a bf now and it's not him lol), but bear in mind that each attempt and longing will keep your feelings for her strong(er), so give yourself a limit to know when it's time to take over.

Thanks for sharing. That's exactly how I envisioned things would go if I don't cut contact.

We had platonic relationship back when she had a boyfriend. It's a shame to lose a former friend, but I have to get myself out of this misery.

Reminded me of my first love, years ago.

We were planning to go to same uni and take the same course. Both of us got in.

But right before we started uni, she decided to break up. 😔

The first year was hell, as we were classmates. I saw her nearly everyday and sometimes close as we were in the same study group.

By second year, she found a new boyfriend from the same uni but different course. That made life even more painful, esp watching them together. But that also triggered my getting over her. I realised then she was lost forever to me.

By the 3rd year, I was fully healed and finally got to enjoy uni life.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jun 24 2024, 11:47 AM

dude you are not her type and will never be. you should just stop hoping and cut her off completely. she will feel nothing.

Imagine how many girls you can sleep (within and outside campus) if you can just not focus on the incidents that has happened, i was in smiliar shoes like you had a crush on a girl, i think i wasted like 5 years time before i realize i can be a womanizer

I did unblock and apologised to him 1-2(?) year after my abrupt cut-off back then, and we chatted for a bit there, but that was the last time we talked. In total, it's already a few years by now and I still feel the same way: it's regrettable I couldn't maintain this friendship and he was a very nice person and a good friend. However it's really awkward on my side -- I don't know how he feels about my previous actions that only gave him nothing but trouble, added with all that rollercoaster feelings I had back then... I don't feel that anymore but I still remember and maybe a sliver of those feelings won't ever go away, I guess that's nostalgia speaking.

I'm happier without him around, but the only other awkward thing now is that... We share a mutual good friend and I still feel like he's still trying not to put us in the same situation or something for example... He didn't attend this mutual friend's wedding, I did. I'm not in a position to ask why he didn't, because this mutual friend knows how I felt about him so I don't want to cause misunderstanding by asking. Yeah you get the gist... Lol.

Edit: clarified timeline

This post has been edited by Takudan: Jun 24 2024, 12:44 PM

Time heals all, and that doesn’t work, distance finishes the job.

I don't know if this is good for you OP but I had a similar experience where she reject me and stay as friends/ bro.
but after some time again, I succeed and we are getting married soon

Wow. Perseverance and persistence pay!! Well done sir.

Congratz man. Was it hard back then when you have to settle as friends?

As for me, I've decided not to chase her anymore. Recently she did something that really turn me off. She is not as nice as I thought.

I find it easier to deal with as a friend as no more barrier and just talk what you want without fearing she don't like it and this end up helping more in the end.

This post has been edited by lemonkaki: Jun 26 2024, 03:59 PM

Can share what she did to bring herself down from the pedestal you placed her on?

She have the guts to "borrow" more money from me, before paying the previous one. Before this she always pay first before borrowing again.

The way she asked is not nice either. No backstory, no sharing her problems, she straightaway just send account number to me.

When confronted about it, she acts like I'm the one in the wrong. In the end she just say "nvm" and we have stopped contacting each other since.

Surprisingly I don't feel sad at all, as if nothing of value was lost. She can keep the previous loan of around rm100 for all I care.

Consider it a lesson learnt, my friend. RM100 to unmask the true intentions of a person is a cheap way to learn the truth about a person's character.