Sharing my situation, maybe it will give TS different perspective.

I tendered my resignation after decades of being in the same organization - because I don't see eye to eye with my superior. The reason I've stayed on is that I enjoy working with the next level boss whom I respect - the same boss who asked me to stay after I voiced my intention to leave but also the same boss who refused my request to transfer to another unit.

I'm worried about job opportunities after I handed that piece of paper. I also know I will miss the opportunities of working with the same boss.

Yet I also know I want my working life / environment to be something I enjoy and happy mentally in order to be productive, creative and healthy.

Good luck TS!

I see now that your problem is more serious than what I initially thought.
I guess if it is not possible to find a new job without further paycut, you should still accept it.
Probably should prioritize mental health for now and at least have a job so you can pay your bill.
You can always find a new job with better pay later when you have more experience.

Good luck!

U don't deserve the job
Sikit2 nak quit
Very immature

You sound like someone who loves to stay in your comfort zone and will easily quit when things don't go your way.

I'm currently hiring executives and dealing with recruiters. From a hiring manager's POV, what you did and how you dealt with things is a big red flag for prospective employers.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Apr 6 2024, 11:44 PM

Your recruiter is a POS. At first, I was tempted to tell you to stay if the bully was the number one factor but it seems that the pay cut doesn’t justify working with these assholes. If you’re in the creative sector, turnover is pretty high everywhere so you shouldn’t be facing any issues finding another job.

Look for other opportunities ASAP during the next two weeks.

In all honesty I find it a waste you had to resign within 2 weeks of joining your new company. You can always bring up and report to your HR if the bully ever do anything unsavoury to you.

Agree with the rest. You need to fight back. You don't need to win, just cause enough damage to the bully until he finds it not worthwhile to proceed.

You are in your early 30s, not freshgrad/junior in mid 20s. You should have the capability to make key decision for yourself.

I think having management backing you up is a blessing...(might not have this privilege in your next career)

Suggest work it out and face your bully instead running. Project management is mostly about dealing with people and one of the requirement in that field is to have good EQ to navigate through key important decisions.

Career advancement
I'm still a little confused. All in all, you accepted this new job offer due to its opportunity, reputation and career which you believe you're able to build in future. Meaning you're accepting a pay cut because you're investing in your career in advance? Is that the case?

Work bully
Perhaps back in the old workplace, you were reporting to this senior and he had the chance to bully you by giving more work, blaming you for certain things etc. What about the need to work with him laterally now? He's not your superior, and you've made this fact known to your management and HR, perhaps you can deal with him?

Consider this a good opportunity to deal with the traumatic experience. You can confront him about what he did in the ex-company and demand an explanation or apology, or, work amicably with him showing that you have no fear towards him and the fact HE should be afraid 'coz you know his true color and you've got dirt on him.

If your instinct is screaming Fight or Flight, and you're choosing flight - reconsider whether its worth sacrificing your work and career because of this bully. I suggest to seek a 3rd party counseling or psychology advice to deal with it and see how you can neutralize the situation. Leaving your current job without another offer on-hand is not wise, despite having no real commitment.

In a funny twist, I've dealt with work bully before. I've suffered, I've broken down and then rebuilt myself and find ways to deal with the bully. No doubt, I was also "lucky" in a way there was higher intervention who noticed the situation and some sort of remedial action was taken. Therefore I was able to manage the person in question, and FYI, still working under him (no doubt, he has changed quite a fair bit since then as well). The scar will always be there, and it'll never go away but putting personal feelings aside, work is work.

You should stay, while your sanity is important, stable income keeps the mind sane, if you don't have to see him or her often, then it should be alright. If it repeats and you are unhappy with it, then confrontation is the only way.

My little advice.. please do not ever mention outwardly not being able to work with people you don't like (whether it being bullies, or other potentially difficult people). It reflects badly on you to your current HR, manager and future potential positions HR.

Every normal person does not like what you are going thru but NEVER mention this to those who have influence over your career. Outwardly, you are expected to be able to compartmentalize and manage these types of difficult relationships.

Also as the bullying has not started, I would advice staying while looking for next opportunity.

As someone who had went thru a period of being unemployed until recently, there are quite a number of opportunities (at least in my field) in this period.. however the number of candidates applying have also increased a lot. So, unless you already have lots of relevant experience under your belt, it might be a challenging road ahead being unemployed.

Additionally the some HR are also biased against the unemployed.. just so you know.

I truly wish you all the best.

This post has been edited by labamba: Apr 27 2024, 09:30 AM

Just wondering, is there any update from TS?

Hello! Apologies for the lack of updates in the thread and thanks for thinking of me, and yes, there has been some update .

For those asking, following the creation of this thread and much deliberation, I eventually stayed on with my current role. I'm moving toward my 4th month as we speak and have found support in some colleagues.

Regarding the bully, there have been several interactions in the organization, and I'm not entirely sure if they are aware of their past involvement with me (again, the bully does not know me by appearance but I do with them as we worked in a time of pandemic). A very close colleague who serves as my social support system and close confidante has implied my bully's awareness of my dislike for them, and on several occasions, my colleague has noticed them staring at me when I'm within the vicinity.

I, however, have not given up looking for better options, as is the case with anyone who wishes to seek a better life for themselves. I suspect I may return to this thread in the weeks to come to seek advice, though it won't necessarily concern my bully.

As far as life has gone, three months of paycheck has definitely helped improve my quality of life, if not future-proof my financial wellbeing for stormier days. Life has moved forward in more ways than one. This is one of the best outcome to arise from sticking it out. However, I will say that client-servicing in my role is something I still dislike strongly, owing to the unpredictability that comes with managing stakeholders.

I'll be back to seek everyone's advice when the time is right.

Thank you all for thinking about me and showing concern!

This post has been edited by pastafreak26: Jun 14 2024, 09:30 AM

Thank you for the update and all the best TS!

bullies do what they do bcoz inside they are hallow, sad and pathetic. because of that, they want everyone else to feel the same way as them.

life is such, there are angels and there are demons everywhere

The worst of the worst kinds are the ones that pretend to be angels in front of you, but I actually the biggest devils behind your back.

Agree.. this is super common in corporate life..especially in Msia.

I’d even go as far as to say that it’s common in corporate life all over the world!

what type of bullies?

there are ways and means to handle the bully. But I leave it to you. I always feel a bully will get their karma.

On one occassion there is this bully boss. But my friend who worked for him, she found a way to appease him. She used her technical talents to convince him that he needed her talents, so he did not bully her because he valued her skills.