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 Close friend of the opposite sex, YES or NO?

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TSredracer2004
post Jun 21 2024, 08:33 AM

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QUOTE(hksgmy @ Jun 20 2024, 10:18 PM)
There can be love between the 2… platonic love, meaning, they care deeply for each other, but just not in a sexual way.
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Maybe back when I was not divorced and still in my early 30s, I would believe platonic love existing. Now? I will say, platonic love is something so weird that a slight hint of attraction will end up banging each other.
quebix
post Jun 21 2024, 08:51 AM

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in my own experience, it depends.
some can and some cannot.

i personally like to become friends with the opposite sex. Its a different perspective, different view, different world.
so i have a few. some of them when become close friends started to have feelings for me and gets weird, some can maintain close friends.

so it depends. for me, those i choose to be my close friends are the ones that im not attracted to, so i already set in my mind to be actual friends.
if im interested romantically, i wont approach the girl as a "friend".
The girl would know that im interested romantically and starting as "friends" not as actual friends.

hksgmy
post Jun 21 2024, 02:38 PM

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QUOTE(redracer2004 @ Jun 21 2024, 08:33 AM)
Maybe back when I was not divorced and still in my early 30s, I would believe platonic love existing. Now? I will say, platonic love is something so weird that a slight hint of attraction will end up banging each other.
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Oh dear... is that the reason for the divorce? Platonic turned into something else?
TSredracer2004
post Jun 22 2024, 10:42 AM

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QUOTE(hksgmy @ Jun 21 2024, 02:38 PM)
Oh dear... is that the reason for the divorce? Platonic turned into something else?
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No. I'd say my ex-wife was "platonically" friends with some dudes around her but I can see she craves their attention. She even admitted that having husband's attention alone couldn't satisfy her.
hksgmy
post Jun 22 2024, 03:49 PM

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QUOTE(redracer2004 @ Jun 22 2024, 10:42 AM)
No. I'd say my ex-wife was "platonically" friends with some dudes around her but I can see she craves their attention. She even admitted that having husband's attention alone couldn't satisfy her.
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Aiyo. Sorry it ended that way.
HokkienMee_Lover
post Jun 22 2024, 08:15 PM

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unless both male and female do not have romantic feelings for each other, then yes

i find it hard to be close friends with girls i find attractive, somehow it will sway and develop feelings for another party and that friendship wont last long or turn sour. I control and maintain myself as purely friends to them apart from those i wish to pursue.

i myself would avoid having close friends with opposite sex to prevent stuff like this from happening in the long run, for me
hksgmy
post Jun 23 2024, 04:03 AM

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I always ask myself. Would I behave the same way with a female friend if my wife were next to me?

If yes, then yes, it’s purely platonic.

If no, then better not pretend that it is.

This post has been edited by hksgmy: Jun 23 2024, 04:05 AM
RocketPiki
post Jun 23 2024, 07:11 AM

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QUOTE(hksgmy @ Jun 23 2024, 04:03 AM)
I always ask myself. Would I behave the same way with a female friend if my wife were next to me?

If yes, then yes, it’s purely platonic.

If no, then better not pretend that it is.
*
Or if you don't currently have a partner, can try this instead: if they were to find someone else, would I be happy for them or heartbroken?
hksgmy
post Jun 23 2024, 08:26 AM

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QUOTE(RocketPiki @ Jun 23 2024, 07:11 AM)
Or if you don't currently have a partner, can try this instead: if they were to find someone else, would I be happy for them or heartbroken?
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Yes, that would work. If you can’t honestly say that you’d be happy for them, then it’s not only platonic.
Noryume
post Jul 8 2024, 09:20 AM

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Yes, but not for everybody.
hksgmy
post Jul 9 2024, 01:40 AM

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QUOTE(w19 @ Jul 9 2024, 12:45 AM)
Life is about choice! You want be hero, a lot of people want to enjoy!

Big No Hypocritical!
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Bro… not very nice leh….
SUSw19
post Jul 9 2024, 03:58 AM

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To all Bro / Sis,

Serious, a lot of people with secret.

Dont believe!? Just try to check your lovely partner personal hand phone.

Most of time, you will be surprise!

My advice dont do it!

Last, this is about choice. No wrong or right for both party.
hksgmy
post Jul 9 2024, 02:34 PM

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QUOTE(w19 @ Jul 9 2024, 03:58 AM)
To all Bro / Sis,

Serious, a lot of people with secret.

Dont believe!? Just try to check your lovely partner personal hand phone.

Most of time, you will be surprise!

My advice dont do it!

Last, this is about choice. No wrong or right for both party.
*
Neither my phone nor my wife’s phone is personal password protected. Both our faces unlock each other’s phones so I’m surprised you think what you said is par for the course in a healthy and loving relationship.

 

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