CX5 is good choice. New car and worry free.
Yeah- only slight changes in visual. Some added safety feature. Your wife won’t appreciate- but it is definitely good to have.

See Toyota Cross or HRV. Woman really need such big car?

About choice…. Save 40-60k, brand new car less worry.
NX or Harrier- still second hand. Why pay 200k for a car which 3-4 years old ?

I would choose peace of mind and less nagging. Especially she made ur choice