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 Just got rejected after 5 dates

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hoonanoo
post Mar 10 2024, 08:19 PM

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QUOTE(Kennchew @ Feb 29 2024, 11:50 AM)
Knew a girl through OkCupid. At first everything was going super smooth. We used to flirt around and chat everyday and we did called each other every night before sleep. Almost every day we will send goodnight and goodmorning messages and sometimes she even felt super worried for me if i did not get enough sleep the day before since we chatted till late night through the phone.

Have went through a total of 5 dates within a timespan of 2 months. Bought her gifts, went shopping together and during valentines day, invited her out for lunch and brought her a box of chocolate as well. She was very thankful and shows how much she appreciated me. Things suddenly went downhill soon after. Started noticing her getting very passive, her messages takes longer time to reply and conversation feels very dry. Sometimes she will just reply me a single sentence message that's all.

I knew something was wrong already but i still brush it off. Thought she could be busy with her work. There's one day where i was asking how was she doing? She replies me with a single thumbsup that's all. Fast forward 11 hours till late night she hasn't replied me a single message but i thought she could be busy as she did told me the day before she will be attending her colleagues Chinese new year open house. So i did ask her again how she was doing. Got a reply shortly after telling me that she is on the way back home. She even shares me pictures of her with her colleagues during the open house.

Chat conversations went back to normal for few days after she even shares me pictures of what she's doing, the food she ate but she still feels very passive and the messages feels very dry. So did arrange with her yesterday for another date and she agrees to do so. Went to confess to her how much i like her and so on then shortly she tells me at most she could only be a friend to me and she says i share a lot of similarities with her ex 🫠 and she can't find the spark between both of us.

My heart sank literally after I heard that. Feels like i got hit hard by a bullet. I did everything for her everything I could and with all the effort time I threw into her all gone down to the drain flushed away 🥺. And now i can't sleep all night because of that. But she did apologized to me she shouldn't have wasted my time with so many dates.
*
Why you feel so sad? You still have acc with Okcupid?

just go and try another date lah.

That is the objective of Okcupid, its a numbers game.

The more dates you try, the more close you are to your dream of finding the one.


hoonanoo
post Mar 10 2024, 08:24 PM

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Joined: Jul 2022
QUOTE(Blofeld @ Mar 1 2024, 07:49 AM)
dont put all your eggs in one basket

go out, enjoy yourself

date as many as you can

take it easy

the more u pamper someone u just barely knew, it makes you look very easy, 'very available', and not attractive at all.

so, date as many as you can, so that you are busy with so many women, and NOT busy with one woman only.
*
TS has secret weapon

he does not put all his eggs into one basket.

he doesn't know it.

he has Okcupid, in which he can find other dates and move on.

back in my day, I have to use old fashion, hang out in "waterholes" pubs, go out hiking trips with friends (friend of friends) or makan hobby groups, or watch cinema with friend of friend of friend, to find dates. I didn't have this technology in my day.
hoonanoo
post Mar 24 2024, 05:29 PM

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******
Senior Member
1,782 posts

Joined: Jul 2022
QUOTE(Kennchew @ Feb 29 2024, 11:50 AM)
Knew a girl through OkCupid. At first everything was going super smooth. We used to flirt around and chat everyday and we did called each other every night before sleep. Almost every day we will send goodnight and goodmorning messages and sometimes she even felt super worried for me if i did not get enough sleep the day before since we chatted till late night through the phone.

Have went through a total of 5 dates within a timespan of 2 months. Bought her gifts, went shopping together and during valentines day, invited her out for lunch and brought her a box of chocolate as well. She was very thankful and shows how much she appreciated me. Things suddenly went downhill soon after. Started noticing her getting very passive, her messages takes longer time to reply and conversation feels very dry. Sometimes she will just reply me a single sentence message that's all.

I knew something was wrong already but i still brush it off. Thought she could be busy with her work. There's one day where i was asking how was she doing? She replies me with a single thumbsup that's all. Fast forward 11 hours till late night she hasn't replied me a single message but i thought she could be busy as she did told me the day before she will be attending her colleagues Chinese new year open house. So i did ask her again how she was doing. Got a reply shortly after telling me that she is on the way back home. She even shares me pictures of her with her colleagues during the open house.

Chat conversations went back to normal for few days after she even shares me pictures of what she's doing, the food she ate but she still feels very passive and the messages feels very dry. So did arrange with her yesterday for another date and she agrees to do so. Went to confess to her how much i like her and so on then shortly she tells me at most she could only be a friend to me and she says i share a lot of similarities with her ex 🫠 and she can't find the spark between both of us.

My heart sank literally after I heard that. Feels like i got hit hard by a bullet. I did everything for her everything I could and with all the effort time I threw into her all gone down to the drain flushed away 🥺. And now i can't sleep all night because of that. But she did apologized to me she shouldn't have wasted my time with so many dates.
*
she sounds reasonable. At least she didn't lead you on or heavily criticized you.

dating is finding if both of you are suited or not, and it just didn't work out, fair enough.

Dating is a numbers game. If your objective is to find the ONE, the more you date, the more you get experience to determine what sort of girl you really want to be in your life.

All the best.

 

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