Hi TS,

Do the two of you talk about sex? Do you know what his sexual needs are? Do you know whether he is satisfied with his sex life with you?

If your answer is Yes to these questions, then you dont have anything to worry about.

4k following hot girls VS 4k following hot guy, which is worse?

The numbers seem alarming. I know guys look at hot girls and collect girls' photos, but to collect in thousands seems abnormal. If you give him a few more years, he'll probably have more than 10,000 girls collected.

He either has too much time and energy on hand (i.e. he's bored and unproductive in life), or he is rather stressed and uses lust and porn to release tension. This may indicate a lack of healthy hobbies and supportive social circles.

Its quite normal.

As long as its not intefering with his life and your relationship, it should be ok.

TS, actually what is your concern ?

a) you worry that his hobby, if found out by ppl within your circle of contact will become an embarrassment coz it is quite easy for the friend list to know who we followed / liked on IG ?

b) you worry his current activity of saving the photos & following porn will lead him to cheat on you ?

My view if based on both a) & b) scenarios.

a) Just talk to him to be more discreet when dealing with this hobby. Don't let friends or family to know who (girls) he is following as it may not do any good to his personal image at workplace & public if it is found out by ppl. His public image = your public image, he don't want face, at least put some effort to protect his family or wife face.

b) At this point I doubt so. If a man has the physical attraction attribute + financial capability , this is not what a man (who cannot control their lust/desire) will do. Sometimes, man kill of their desire/lust via porn. Watching porn, the fantasy / entertainment stop within the head , there is no further action in real life after that. If he cannot control his lust/desire and go look for women, then it will be few times worse vs the man who only look at it as the source of entertainment.

2ndly, only you as the wife know whether he has the attractiveness level to be seduced by wild flowers or he has the financial capabilities to look for the paid service. If he has none of it, I personally think it is harmless at this moment except for the potential embarrassment if it was found out by other ppl. On the 3k ~ 4k photos, I doubt he will look at the photos / files again after saving. Most likely the photos will end up in the his recycle bin when his device runs out of memory.

Sorry but im a guy and i think its not normal.

Looking at hot girl, yes normal but not until to the extreme level of following 3000 girls on insta and save their pic.

I feel I am extreme to have like 600+ followed on IG but 3000? Well, hell no man.

Hi Ts, I understand your concern and we can see how much you value the relationship with your S.O.

You named your thread "Unacceptable Addiction" perhaps due to fear of unforeseen infidelity in the future. But is what your S.O. doing an addiction from his POV? Are there addictions that you might be able to see eye to eye with your S.O.? Perhaps there is an underlying issue beneath the blanket of lust and curiosity.

If both of you truly wish to understand and improve the relationship, seeing a couple therapist might be the answer.

I'm a married guy and in my opinion it doesn't looked normal to me.
It's most likely related to his unsatisfied sexual craving/fantasy.

This is also related to you as his wife.
Probably there's lack of sex, or boring sex or you no longer dress nicely?
Increasing 2k to 4k is really a lot, and browsing all these on daily basis (how many hours are needed to go through that lengthy list??).
Imagine screening resume for interview also in hundreds only...lol.

To solve this issue, pls don't just blame on his sexual craving/fantasy.
He needs to tell you why he needs such visual stuff everyday and you need to be prepared to help him to overcome all this (eg. if he feedback lack of sex or the sex is boring, etc).
Don't push him away, but rather work together with him.
Acknowledgement is the 1st step to solving the problem.

Contradiction to everyone else, I think it is normal.

The numbers increased because he dont delete them, that's all. He got bored of the girls he followed earlier thus moved on to newer targets.

And i would see the similarities between all the girls that the guy follow.

Do they share same characteristic? Or same pattern of behavior? Maybe that will tell what he is looking for and ts can try to match.

There are some ex players who had threesomes and sexadventures before settling down, and having a great families now. But it can be minority

Wow… this is a very impressive and mature answer! Respect.

After certain level its no longer about how many times you can have. Not sure about other men i been thorough that

Yes, it cannot be... because that's not how biology works.

Small issue, he is not addict to gay porn and fap to it so you should be relieved

But what if the husband faps to hte saved sexy female pictures? Less of a wrong or not wrong at all?

amoi sekarang pun always watch gay BL porn or comic/novel and fap on it, wrong or not wrong then? Janji no cheat on you with another real person is good enuff, I personal would care less about private imaginary sexual fantasy

Fair point I suppose.

I mean sometimes emotional over physical. Now i know my sex drive is due to emotional