Hi guys, as per title said, what do everyone of you think? can male and female can actually be just friend?

Why am i asking this is, i have a gf who is a streamer, as you all know that streamer will have a lot boys as viewers and they'll try to tackle her, so recently i found out that she and a viewer has been very close in chatting privately via whatsapp, both of them have a very good click and connection, a lot of topic to talk, my gf even complain life shits to him, she has been chatting with the boy for like 2 months, eventually they meet up and she never inform me instead, she lied to me that she is going to have dinner after work with colleagues, and has met up twice, about 2 to 3 hours each time meet up.

btw, im in long distance relationship, we always VC do stuff and gaming, I still can feel that she still love me, every time we meet up sure 88 gao gao, she even bought a lot of couple shirts for us to wear whenever we go out, and planning to move and stay together with me.

And how i find out she go out with the guy is that i have access to her phone, but she do not know i saw the message yet, im now in dilemma, should i question her or not why she lied to me? maybe she just want to make more friend? but... male and female can really be just "pure friend"?? and why she lied to me?

Thanks everyone

username...

men can stay as friend with a not-attractive woman (eg. landwhale, face-problem)

if the woman is attractive, men will be tempted to get into her pants

90% no pure relationship between man and women.
10% purely Friend relationship (bcos that man/ woman is unattractive to each other).

it depends.

i had a few best friends who are girls.

some can, some fall for me.
then i distance myself.

but when gets older and have husband, out of respect, no longer as close as before. dont want to create unnecessary problem.

if it she was purely just friends with him, she would have informed you about his presence. the fact she going behind your back means shes testing the waters with him. having a long distance relationship makes the whole situation even worse. i think you should confront her.

it depends entirely on the individual.

i actually believe its possible. just that the 2 shouldnt be doing too many things alone together once one of them has partnered up.

Red flags, bro. Red flags.

bros gonna wear a green hat soon

on a serious note, how do u guys know each other and become bfgf, and how would u stand out among all the other potential bfs if she jumps ship

We know each other from playing online games, then we chat a lot and found each other have a lot of click & connection, so then we be together.

And she and the other guy, has even more click & connection than me, so then eventually they met up, this is what I guess.

You can already see the pattern here, this new guy she met is same style, she probably giving you the green hat

If you dont mind being a simp or spare tyre if she happens to break up with you, just wait for her

I wish i can do this but my heart is super uncomfortable right now, i dont feel good, when i found out that day, i cant sleep for 2 nights.

Different genders can be good friends, For example, I travelled to Singapore and slept over at a close guy friend's house, and I also informed my bf beforehand so that he's aware. But of course, my friend's then-gf-now-wife was there and they do have a spare bedroom, so that made it possible we also hung out together ok je.

Of course, it takes two responsible adults to keep a clear line drawn. If my friend's wife wasn't around, then I wouldn't have asked to stay there, because even if we keep it clear, our respective partners would not be comfortable with that. Hanging out 1:1 in public places is fine, but two opposite genders in the same house overnight is something that would raise many's eyebrows.

TS, your gf decided to lie is a red flag. If she really had nothing to hide, she shouldn't have lied. You also crossed the line when you checked her phone, so I guess the relationship is over unless you both are willing to fix the broken trust together - this will take a long time plus a lot of conscious decisions by both to continue respecting each other despite past mistakes. Good luck.

This post has been edited by Takudan: Nov 30 2023, 12:05 PM

Its very tricky thing to manage in a relationship. In this modern era, its impossible to restrict friendship of the opposite sex.

Other than a lot of trust, the ideal thing is to have some agreed ground rules with our partner.

One rule that we practice is transparency. Inform the partner. Who, where, time. And the partner can say no, I dont like u to meet that person.

We also agree that we can suprise checks each other phones. This is something that we actually do.

Its not foolproof vs cheating, but better than nothing.

I will disagree with this
she can have a different phone if she wants to cheat, suprise checking will not help, women are better at hiding this kind of stuff

If you need to check her private stuffs, that means you've an expectation that will result in misery. If a woman respects you, there's no need to "tell" her what to do, she will automatically do or assume good behaviors unless if you meet a trashy girl that is born from worse family background and trying to convert her

any form of control is just a wasting effort
you can only control yourself, not the environment - stoicsm

WORD. Same thing applies to woman as well.

In your case can clearly see that your girl is exercising her rights to have options around her. I suggest you do the same.

This post has been edited by MishimaZ: Nov 30 2023, 11:44 AM

to answer the title: yes.

in your situation, better talk to her and ask yourself.

No. Guy and gal can never be just friends - unless guy is gay ….

So, believe in what you have suspected all along. The chances of nothing is happening between your gf and her friend is very very slim.

nope, the guy just want to get into your gf panties..

definitely a red flag

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I think I will confront her but i predicted that the outcome may not be good and i believe she'll go crazy, cause every time when i had argument with her, conlanfirm is she win even though it's her fault, im very tired on this, tell also die, dont tell also die, if dont tell i'll die, i feel very suffer now, cant sleep well, cant concentrate on doing my work and stuff.

It's okay. She wanna go crazy then let her lah, she lied to begin with. You're also not without any fault because you checked her phone without permission - own that up but stand your ground, she lied. Tell us the outcome later!

101% no pure friend!

1st time paktor and 1st girlfriend?

So many red flags with this girl. You deserve better and should not waste your life time with this time bomb and all the uncertainties. You are worthy, bro. Get out as soon as you can.

Defo a red flag

Who said girl and boy cannot become good friends?

As long as they remember to wear protection , best friends forever

well she's repeating the same trend of what she did with you, and she's doing it with him now.

sounds like she is using the same modus operandi.

but seriously I don't know what is right for you.

if you keep quiet, the curiosity will almost explode in you. And if its really true, it may hit you like a freight train. I am not saying its real, but I could be wrong.

if you sound out to her, she may feel that you are controlling her and worst still she felt her trust violated because you are spying on her phone.

Maybe you should think how to bring it up to her, subtly? Choose your words wise when you talk to her. I am not sure how you gonna put it in words, how are you going to disclose that you found out she is talking to this guy? I mean, moment you said that, she may not like you prying into her phone.

I really don't know, but I think you gotta find a way to talk to her.

By the way, why are you in LDR with her? If you are around her, the relaitonship is much easier. If you both are long away, chances and temptations are high.

yorue in long distance that guy can meet her face to face, every girl wants that human connection and feel cared for, if being so far way and yorue unable to make her feel that way chances are she is having something with that guy, may not be lseeping together but definitely her emotional support since he is around and yorue not

my condolences to you. i was once in a similar situation ("the guy she tells you not to worry about" meme). it's better to bite the bullet and start the long mental recovery process.

Only really confident and self assured men can do it.

I've got very attractive female friends but I value our friendship much more. Sex is temporary. Social connections are life long

i give you an honest answer. Yes and No

Yes even when i'm together with my ex-female colleague. she has a damn good body figure in which i am sure to concentrate on her body after each meeting/outings

No if she is a whale

For me there is no pure relationship between man and women, is all about how you control a relationship. My experience for once, when i date a girl from sugarbook, i really dont know that she had a bf, after dating end, i accidentally saw the name when her bf call her , that time only i realise she lied to his bf, after that i no more contact that girl.