what you mean you very hurt already?

its bad news bro, u know they are not real right? its just a way to flirt with you and get your attention and then your money.

i could be wrong, let me know if she agrees to stop working in TFC and marry you for real.

good luck.

what is TFC?

You need to move on before get hurt more.

Channel your hurt into something beneficial and will take your mind of it.
- mountain climbing / hiking, the focus / breathlessness will take your mind off the hurt and you meet new people.
- go to a gym, you focus on the workout, also will forget the hurt, and you can meet other hot girls
- learn to swim if you don't know, the act of breathing at a rhythm will make you forget everything else.. just breathe, no time to think

piap 1st... thikn later...

What does TFC girl mean? Searched in google, gave me some funny answers.

All these just to lure TS to visit & spend money at TFC.

My group of friends 15 years regular at TFC, seen it all.

Bro just don’t. Veteran here, if want việt mới go hcmc find. Just 2 hours away

Diu she wants malaysian citizenship only through you

You are not the only guy she is talking to, maybe she just choosing which 1 to fish

My reply to bolded:
1. YOU are her money to do HER business.
2. Apologise to polarzbearz and all the other Malaysian ladies working hard to save up right now.
3. It's called ghosting and unfortunately, it's almost the norm in modern dating especially via dating apps. The lack of reply is a reply on its own - learn to take rejections better without blaming yourself.
4. Dating takes a lot of time and effort to nurture a relationship from being strangers, all the way into a marriage/long term romantic partners. If you're barely trying to get to know a lady, of course she's not going to video call you right off the bat! Likewise, would you video call your buddies when they had a bad day at work? No right? This lady HAS DIRECT MONETARY BENEFIT by investing her time on you, of course she'll do her best to keep you hooked.

girls with that profession are only after 1 thing which is money
how much are you willing to spend on her on a monthly basis?

just take it as using money in exchange for their companionship and sexual activity and you will be much comfortable being in a relationship like this

no money then move on bro
find local girl

You want to know if the girl is into you hang out cheap place for 6 months to 1 year+. After 6 months generally you will start to see clearly cause no blood flowing to your little brother.

By hanging out for 6 months to 1 year at cheap place like economy rice stall, you will see if she's after your money. Do not spend much on her in these period. If she's after your money trust me, she will leave.

You just lack of options my brother.
Invest into yourself more socially physically and mentally.
Your vibe will change and attraction begins.

Or

You can keep giving excuses and stay the same.

Haha..after u married with her..standby...she take ur child back to Vietnam...

dangerous game
TFC girls are human too. you could TRY but always tell yourself that if you see a hint that shes trying to take advantage of you. CUT IT OFF.

she replying yet?
btw you can read thru pocoloco threads with cambodia girl

great example

i ll say this.

if you wanna chase such a girl. NEVER KNOW ABOUT HER WORK.

if it bothers you. then just cut off.

its not uncommon that such girls could sleep with certain customers.

if you cant accept it. move on.

dont try anymore then.

i hope your heart recovers.

becareful of becoming water fish. Their MO is always catching fish like you...

exactly, sweet talk is their professional behaviour

oh my...
this is not going to end well

my advice, just stay away before your heart get broken, i seen too many sad ending for this type of relationship

like others said, she might treat u as water fish, just avoid it

keep urself busy, try to forget about her

yes u might be bald and middle age,so what? no need to feel desperate, even fat old dude can score young lady, just improve urself and keep ur option open

I'm introvert just like you, i seldom go out at all, but after my break-up recently,i try to run and hiking, even if u do it solo, it's fine, in fact,even better

https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=5351602&hl=
https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=5360158&hl=

move along, many other fish in the sea

never date a person who has not healed.

jada was a broken woman who loved tupac with all her heart.

will thought he could show her how life can be good. he treat her well and try his best to be a model black man.

what he got is her bringing him on a podcast to publically inform him that shes banging his son's friend.

she also openly tells her daughter shit like how she would have prefered tupac.

fuck that bitch.

will smith used to be someone i looked up to. she brought him down and made him into a bitch.

She sacrifice her comfort zone in her home town all the way to here,
sacrifice all the soft skill she can learn and just work in TFC.

Please stand in her shoes, she came here with a plan to earn money, not doing charity.
Open what own business if her working experience is only with working in TFC?

TFC good example? she just trying to tell you it is exactly fine to invest on people like her.

But anyways when you are blinded by love you hardly understand whoever trying to convince you here,
but it will all start to makes sense when you start moving on.

no matters TFC or ktv..
play can dun put real heart inside..

You haven't try hard and haven't meet the right giel. If the girl likes you she would be ok with eating at at economy rice stall, kopitiam.

This is my way of testing girls. Girls who don't want to eat at those place, I don't need to continue the relationship already.

Next thing you know, she'll say she kena tahan polis, kena lock up but released but need money.

OR there's an emergency.... will tell you when everything settled... goes missing again.

Scam organizations nowadays hire psychologists to play with your mind. Move on. If desperate go find a place to depressurize your balls and move on.

hijack ur comment abit

in my case,my sister in law

my brother is almost bold,almost 38 when he meet his wife

he was not handsome nor rich, but he got a kind heart

he was actively join those hiking/diving/running group when he met his wife, not bad looking local chinese(and upper class), now with kid and living happily

so don't be sad, for guys, there are no expired date,just improve urself from now on

In commercial sense, they know very well how to get in to your soft spots, they know well about your past encounter and how to turn in to something you want so they can ride along with your wealth, once captured your heart now realize you do not have the wealth they look for then move on till they found one.

Easier to tell lies than putting in to action, anyone can give promise what they can become, but committing is another thing.

Compared to those local you have met, they just being more upfront to you about their requirements and not waste each other's time. Meanwhile this Vietmoi just approach differently but in the end still left you after finding you did not meet her requirements.

My take is just tidy up yourself, be the person a girl looking for and eventually you will meet someone.

Hard pill to swallow, only time can heal.

Surprisingly yes. Of course not the first date bring people go eat there. On and off la eat at economy rice stall and kopitiam.

For me I walk the talk and not just NATO only.

You don't know if she's playing other guys the same way too.

It's all lust. Like I said hang out, chill and come back after 6-8 months time. If after 6-8 months time you still feel the same by all means go ahead. Keep in mind if you want to marry her, lots of paperwork both side.

A luxurious car attracts a gold digger, so when you say you wanna get decent car, are you looking for a gold digger? You just need a car that can go A to B reliably.

Your friend asked you to go gym, and that's the excuse you gave him/her? Because some muscle head is hogging the equipment? I think your friend was just trying to tell you to get into shape, lose that beer belly or bulk up those skinny sticks of limbs. At least, YOU yourself gotta feel good about yourself - are you happy with how you look? If not, then why do you think anyone else would?

I agree with what Ramjade said, but I want to flesh it out a bit more...
Pretext: I'm assuming you'll take turns in treating each other, where the guy treats the first date. (I think that if 2nd date is good to go, but the lady doesn't offer to treat back, then she lacks common courtesy.)
- On one hand, the one treated should not expect luxury all the time. It's good courtesy to offer to be treated at a simple/cheaper place.
- On the other hand, the one treating should not be a cheapo by intentionally treating at a cheap place. It's good courtesy to "pay back equally".

Of course, final decision depends the both of you: your conversations and your own preferences, you do whatever you like. I'm not trying to paint it black and white ya.

Put this into real life perspective:
Suppose guy treats on the first date.
First date goes well and the girl offers next on her.
Now YOU, the guy, have the opportunity to say, "ok! I fancy simple food sometimes. Let's go to this hawker stall/zapfan whatever." Now you opened the door to eating cheap food. If she resists by giving a more expensive option like, "ehh but I know that hawker stall not nice to sit for long, I wanna hang out longer in a cozy place. How about this cafe?" Then it's a good sign she is not actively looking to "cheap her way out". Even if she happily agrees, it can be as simple as genuinely wanting to eat something simple too. Either way, you do your part.
Depending on your conversations and flow, you'll eventually eat simple food especially when your relationship stabilises... Say, on your turn to treat back, she then says ok that hawker stall, then ezpz lor, you get to eat what you originally wanted. It's natural for both sides to want something simpler every now and then, when the dynamic is balanced where both are contributing monetarily to the relationship building.

Customer fetch her home? She escort ah? Wakakakaka.

Making you wait and wonder what's going on is part of the psychological warfare. How do you think love scams can get away with hundreds of thousands or even millions? They play with your head once you let them in.

That is the problem - YOU demanding that shows your entitlement. There is a difference when you ask for it vs. others offer it willingly. This is the problem with Malaysians... Like that KLCC lady with the stroller case...


It should be the girl to offer without your words, and if she doesn't offer, then you can cut your loss asap and find the next girl. Yes that means it's tougher on the guys, but ladies who can empathise, understand or be grateful will appreciate your gesture to put yourself out there first, and reply in kind.

you drive fast cars also will have problem, you'll more likely to attract manipulative fake nice people into your social circle. It may seem not ambitious or qualified to marry a girl when you're not financially stable but that stablilty is contextual.

If you want to marry a supermodel who is used to be fetch to dubai and have yacht lifestyle put on instagram you may be asking for disasters in many ways assuming yourself is not one of the top tier guys

Like I said hang out, chill with her and see how after 6-8 months. That time you will be able to think more clearly.

Myvi is a good car to filter out gold digger. No need follow your friend.

hmmmm....not said girl work in TFC not good la, but most girl that work in TFC or night life is not really good or suit normal ppl that work 9-6pm.....and hor, like what we always said, at what place then will meet with what kind of ppl, their lifestyle are totally different with ours ler bro.

Explore more by going hiking or gym or indoor climbing as proposed by others lo, then u might meet a better person

Ts dry and started thinking with didi head

Let’s just assume, would u date a prostitute even if she is very caring?

u cannot change their mindset one, because the one work at TFC or so, their money easy come easy go; not like normal 9-6 people, unless u also work at money easy come easy go industry.......hahaha...and bear in mind, u married 1 viet girl = married whole family include neighbour, each time u go back kampong u nid to bring at least 10k cash and yes, my friend cousin married with viet girl and this is what he facing now

For just two weeks TS fell in love with a vietmoi?

How much do you know about her?

happy or not i dont know la, but as an outsider, my advise is in order to get into relation or family with them, we gotta be cash rich / able to support them also (if u want them to stop work in TFC); and dont expect them can work as normal working hours also because those work in TFC is the type of person that dont like to obey the working rules or so.......but good also, u dodge the bullet....hahahaha.....so now u can put all ur effort in renovate ur house, buy some good furniture and enjoy it

Just find partner from ur own kind, if ur Chinese, find Malaysia Chinese partner, less cultural difference less headache, plus still in Malaysia can meet each other more frequently

Speaking from experience...

1st GF [Local] (2012-2020)
Long story short...
No communication
Too long in relationship
No more spark
Break up

2nd GF [Vietnamese] (2020-2021)
Heartbroken from 1st GF...
Then went out for drink meet my friend's GF which vietnamese.
Meet her little sister just came back from Vietnam before lockdown.
She was TFC girl... During covid lockdown we hang out abit due to nothing you can do anywhere.
Then spark happened then we got into relationship.
I went in casual but it got serious.
And I dont want my future partner to be in TFC forever so I sponsored her to be DJ roughly 10-20k...
Loyal, hard working person and very talented in DJ but ultimately didnt work out because she is those typical loud & slightly rude Vietnamese.
You probably can find her spinning at few bars in TREC KL and Kuchai Lama.
Money she earn from DJ she got give me back sometimes.

The reason why i break up is because:
1. Financial stress
2. Character not ngam together
3. She is too young at that time [20yo-2020]
4. Always fight

One day we fight, because I said I want to breakup. She then slap me then I said kthxbai.
PS: She still owes me RM 7k. Never return after breakup.

3rd GF [Vietnamese] (2021 - current)
Another TFC girl.
Very loyal & honest person, she will literary tell me everything. Like report to me.
Like this customer say to this and that to her.
I said you dont need to report to me I trust you.
Her requirement was that I need to support her 1K per month. Which I am able to do so at the time.
We upfront set this requirement before we started dating.
Broke up once this year because I need to start paying house loan and other financial commitment.
I cannot support myself and her at the same time.
Again due to financial stress I want to break up.

After 2 weeks, we got back together and she said the following:
1. You dont need to give me any money anymore. Just take care of me that is all that matters.
2. I understand your situation now and lets make this work.
3. If you need any money I can send you some back here for Vietnam.
4. After finding out I got money issues, she cook for me using her own money and when we go out she will reject nice places. She say go hawker stall enough.

Her character:
1. Loyal
2. Caring
3. Housewife type
4. Family dont ask for money (I have met her family at Vietnam before. Very friendly people.)
5. Can cook very well (Future can open restaurant in Malaysia type)
6. Mature Thinking (Same age as me 29 now)
7. Not typical vietnamese character
8. She is Vietnamese chinese (Plus point for me... Looks like local chinese when we go out)

After reading your story, my advice to you is...
You can find Vietnamese GF but not the one you are currently courting.
I know Vietnamese Girl inside out because I have been dating them for 3 years...
Trust me your current one red flags everywhere....

Things to look out for in Vietnamese Girl:
1. They will always expect the male to contribute some money. This is always the fact. It cannot and will not change just that they are more direct than our local girls... Local girls will ask for gifts and travel to Japan/Korea... "Eh today Valentine leh never buy anything one?" Technically you are spending the same compare local vs vietnamese.
2. Some are only gold digging but some is exceptionally loyal. Lucky both of mine is loyal.  I know alot of vietnamese girl from my friends and my GF friends. They are actually quite alot that can pakai and not looking for gold. Find these girls.
3. Make sure they have a skill where they can move away from TFC after you both get serious. (This is my experience because if you cannot support a family you need to make sure she has a skillset that can find money. Both of mine have skillsets that can earn money without me)

Re-reading back your post so here are some of my thought. Sorry if is abit long. I feel compelled to write a detail post so that everyone who are going through what I have been through understand what is like dating Vietnamese Girl.

1.
First of all, why it took so long to broke up with my first GF. Because it was puppy love and she is very well educated, good career path, stay home type and very quite type. I always keep thinking if I breakup where else can I find this kind of girl and with her as my partner we do not need to think of money cause together our salary is quite high. We will have a good life but there is no longer the connection there. This delayed our breakup roughly 2 years (wasted both of our time). We are basically roommate together. We can stay at the same room and dont talk for 1 week during lockdown.

2.
This is why now when I date I dont care about your background or what you do or where you from. As long we both know what we are doing and we are both happy that it is all that matters for me. I personally dont think is stupid to fall for TFC girls. Character is the number one thing I look for now in GF.

3.
No people, male or female, local or vietnamese with their right mind will randomly add anyone on wechat and just randomly get close with no objective in mind. My current GF also say, if I m not in a relationship with you right now, I m 24/7 on the phone texting all kinds of random male/customer to get close to them to potentially get some money. Not I say one ya... Their countrymate say one ya. This is just their MO. They are basically a sales person building connection but their product is companionship.

4.
You need to understand their number one priority is to secure enough money so that they have a secure future. If they do not have a secure future they do not have time to think about love. They come from proverty, money is always the first thing they think of first. You need to find out after she got this money, she want to do business here or Vietnam. My GF has been here for 11 years. She has already adapted her life here. She will never go back. She will not lari balik in other words. She hates vietnam lifestyle and vietnamese male lol... She probably have half mil RM stash somewhere. This is just my guess.

PS: They are alot of dumb local male in Malaysia. Don't be one. One day I go back home suddenly she is holding an iPad.... We sold the iPad for cash instead.

5.
If she truly your good friend, she wont ghost you unless she is busy hooking up another customer first. Me personally, anyone who ghost me I will ghost them back. Idgaf. If you are my friend you text me and I reply you and you ghost me. After 1 week of no interaction, I will not text back until you text me back. I value my time more than to constantly be needy and thinking what went wrong all the time.

6.
If you really did went one time at her workplace and you didnt hang and she ghost you. This is already the answer for you. If she truly treat you as friend or potential relationship match, SHE WILL NOT ASK YOU TO HANG. I would rather give the money to her directly. Anything you hang through the bar, the bar will charge 20-50%. Who in the right mind will ask their friend to waste money. For example, if you hang RM 100, lets say RM 50 go to her. If she really treat you as friend she will just say give me RM 50 dont hang here. OR "Dont hang la, just bring me eat something nice."

7.
Looks dont matter. What matters is how you treat them. I am bald too. Money only open the door, is your effort, the ability to draw the line and not being needy that matters. Girl do not like guys who are needy. The moment they sense you are needy they will run. If they smell you need them instead of they need you. You no longer have any value to them.

8.
I notice you are quite introvert. I was one. You need to really open up and learn from other extrovert. We introvert are very observant. Observe what extroverts do copy the good and delete the rest. Also, love yourself. If you dont love yourself you cannot love anyone else. If you love yourself you will in turn be more confident and that will lead to better relationship and more prospect will open up.

9.
If you have a Myvi and girls dont talk to you. This means that girl is too materialistic and that is not what you wanted as a life partner anyway. So why you want to think about this. I know people drive Myvi go work and daily driving but stay at bungolow with 2 porsche in the garage. This is really outdated way of thinking.