Hey /k, where do you make new friends apart from people from office? Any apps that is specially for making friends? Currently don’t have much friends and feeling pretty lonely.

Can try using meetup.com app dude lots of events board game, hiking, language. See which one you fancy.

That sounds good, thanks for the suggestion!

No friends as well. Only have acquaintance. Not easy to find friends. Especially good ones who be there during hardship. Better invest time with family if you have them.

Sadly my family is in a different city. I’m facing the same problem as you, the people I know are only the ones I see at my workplace 😅

Find new hobbies.. sure can meet new friends one.. but be ready to sacrifice your time whenever they plan for some event..

sorry to hear you are far from your family. Hope you could find some companionship nearby.

Nowadays anyone can stab you from behind.

i also felt lonelly...no more family member,left me alone
haiz

based from hobbies. go find some badminton kaki or join a running club

Hi Bro, understand how you feel

Making new friends at adult stage is not easy and if i may say so, you're probably more introvert and take longer to warm up to people. Else you won't be asking this questions here.

Like people say, try to join clubs or activities that you like.

At least there you can meet people with common interest and start building new connections.

I end my post here with this statement that I hope you won't feel offensive

You will need to invest time to build new connections but don't invest too much emotions

Just because people are friendly to you, it doesn't mean that they are your friends... and vice versa

In this day and time, no matter where you are, life is pretty much lonely for the working person.

I have friends who migrated to UK, Australia, Singapore. I notice one thing, they don't really blend and mix well with the locals there. They very much tend to mix with themselves.

Well, same here.

It depends on what kind of vocation you do, if you're an accountant working in an office full of married women, then your social mix is just 9-5 at the office.

Notice, those in certain other lines have better social circles.

hmm question is, you are an extreme introvert right? you need to work on that first. If not, it's really hard to make friends tho
because even if you do join clubs, events etc won't make a difference. You'll find it very awkward and stressout yourself

I myself was an introvert too back in my days working in IT. You know, typical 1-man show inside server room enviroment for years.
I forced myself to change for good by going into Banking line - credit card direct sales. I know it's crazy but it works u know. I forced myself to open mouth and talk to total strangers. Well fast forward over the years I became a natural talker. Today I can make friends anywhere anytime. Even fellow colleagues can became my yum char buddies and they are my business partners today.
Not flexing or anything ya. Just wanted to share my story so you can relate to and make some decision on your life.

Cheers

Join Chit Chat 247 Group

this is true. the "friends" that many people talk about are just your acquaintances
I just have 1 or 2 real friends, trust worthy ones, will be there for me, and I'll be there for you type.

TS can try Grindr.

I WFH these days, I havent talk to friends in years. Let alone making new friends.

That's why i hangout at kopitiam, can talk a lot shit without minding people business, people will reply when they are interest.

But for sure Im fully aware it's a not healthy for me right now.

and another piece of advise, whatever new acquaintances you make when they start asking money from you. RUN.

if religion not an issue, go join a local church...sure ada kaki one after 1-2 sessions. PM i can help.

Ayam worked from home 2 years +.
Only socialise when ayam go football/gym

thanks for suggestion. just find out there is camping event nearby my house this weekend. gonna joining it.

Grindr

Try to make friends that will be there even if hardship happens, not the ones who doesn’t seem to care about you and ‘acts’ like being a friend. It’s quite rare for now, but you could find out, by the way they talk. Don’t invest too much emotions on friends until they are really ‘real’ friends. There are many ways to find friends, but the most effective way is when you see them in person. You could find friends by sparking a conversation, in the kopitiam, in the workplace, going to church, going to gyms and fitness centres, in public transportation like LRT, in Grabcar, and most importantly, try to keep them in touch when they are able to. Revolutionising your talk is also vital, as you have to keep your conversation interesting in order for the others to listen. You should try to keep your tone softer, and not keep talking about bad things about you. Making jokes is still okay at some acceptable level to keep the person engaging, but if the person purely likes to joke every single thing in the conversation throughout a few times, kindly stay away from them.

Try Bumble BFF. It's for friends. It's an app. Not sure how many ppl are on it tho in Msia.
Or start playing team sports. all the best it sucks to be lonely

when you interact with more people, you'll realize there are few different types of personalities:
a) derper- walk through life like a machine, no opinions whatsoever they're like slave to anything
b) snakes- very transactional while seemingly friendly even charming
c) sharks- higher achiever but they may have some addiction problem that normal working class are not aware
d) ride-to-die partner- very rare among family/friends/love one, both of you have extreme compatibility and pursue raising one another up

our goal in life is to identify each person into what i written, i know there are many people maybe they have a little bit of wealth but they can be miserable in life because they're not able to identify what kind of person they're dealing with, esp the snakes they can backstab you, just be aware of people who potray themselves as charming but in a fake way, you can smell it if you have social acuity

there are no good or bad ones, a lot are in the middle, if you close your heart completely because of past bad experiences you have deny yourself a lot of beautiful memories in life when it comes to relationships. Because i know a lot of people they may be heartbroken in the past in worse, they decide to turn into their dark sides even suppress their own mechanism

Ive been learning how to express myself consistently even though how bad people may seem to treat me in the past, imagine yourself if you try to hold yourself back in any interaction, dont you think the vibe will seem polite/too official/and lack of color and depths.

I've talk to salespersons before, the way they engage with you is try to get you to invest in conversation while making fake smiles, you know 'they're not there with you' when you ask them back how are their stories they just try to keep it brief

i know this is frustrating part of dealing with people, cause they're not genuine

I don’t even meet people in the workplace because I am the only one in my team in Malaysia

only occasionally chit chat with people from other departments

Also just to add on, you can use Courtsite.my to join nearby Futsal or Badminton games, most of the time got mamak session after the game

This post has been edited by xUngrateful: Mar 18 2023, 11:14 AM

Join hobby groups and attend their gatherings perhaps?

This. Find those groups in FB / IG, based on your hobbies. there is one for mostly everything. like running, hiking, gardening ..

I have been there done that b4.

No use.

I made friends yes. But after 2 years, all lost touch, no point at all. It is hard and difficult to keep up.

In the end I settled for family. Recently went for a class reunion, full of Dato and Datin, everyday they boast about their lamborgini, holiday home in Australia, ski trips to Italy and Japan, invite to go to their orchard eat durian and private waterfall, exchange gifts of vintage vine and luxury goods. In the end I poorfag, no born from rich family like they all.

decided best to have family, no need to face friends.

This post has been edited by mezanny: Apr 17 2023, 09:26 AM

For ladies, nid to be extra careful when trying to make new friends.

One of my "girl" friend kena scammed by those friends. She knows her friend via a Facebook group and has 3 years of close friendship. Her friend lastly asked her for some money for personal things and disappear after that.

Now she became a serious introvert and has a serious trust issues.
Ayam sees her so desperate and also does not dare to meet new friends now.

Only chitchat via kopitiam.

are you into badminton?

can try Rovo app and join sessions to make friends

come join @buthonestly.co, look up on instagram

i can second this. meet up is good.

used to have so many friends. now grow old somehow good buddies also become distance. problem is i avoid toxic people, lazy to entertain, and feel tired if i have to talk and be nice and smile to new people.
Can understand the difficulty, stay strong.

TS, you can start making friend by knowing your neighbors. That is the most basic. Get in touch with the community, the community will leads you to broader contacts.

If you are looking for work related acquaintances, you must have certain value to offer to sustain it, else it will not be long lasting because in this realistic world, things are driven by "rewards & benefits", only a small fraction of populations will do thing disregarding "rewards & benefits".

I used to have a bunch of work friends from Malaysia and India but I've lost all of them post-Covid and moving on from my old workplaces. Little did I know many were just transactional relationships pandering for free favors.

I've since made a number of trips to KL and Kuching and have been wanting to settle back in Malaysia ever since.

It's just a much more friendly and less judgmental place than certain neighboring countries. That said, aside from business related and cultural gossip I never really made any friends yet at places I visit. My trips are just too short for meaningful engagement. Ditto being a mix of at least 3 different cultures and proficient in no one's mother tongue.

I made some new friends when playing BDO and Destiny 2 during the pandemic. There are Malaysian clans/guilds for both games with very friendly and active people from KL and Penang. I’d recommend that if gaming is your thing.

Can try out hobbies, any kind that interest you. I suggest tabletop hobby is the one that will makes you more attached.

For me it depends.

Even good friends change over time, life priorities , personalities, work , health , family issue do change people. Even aging changes people.

Sometimes, it's just better to be alone than to entertain your friend's attitude.

Another thing , money will become issue definitely. Going out with friends need money, to spend on yourself, sometimes need to treat them. Worse, if only you pay all the time when you ajak them go out.

Some friends don't do as well as you financially, so when you go out, maybe you pay for them , are you willing to do so every time?

Go out with successful friends, you feel underwhelmed when you see your friends boasting about their wealth etc.

Go out with less successful ones, you become stress too when they start borrow money from you

This post has been edited by Chrono-Trigger: Apr 20 2023, 10:04 AM

play a sport, join events and you will meet more people than you can handle lol

I made new friends from playing mobile game. If nearby can meetup for teh tarik.