This story continue from previous topic https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=5241539

So this girl find me back on last year September because she already broke up around July 2022 i think, so she ask me want to go to her state and "try" with her (Try means chase her)...

I said ok because i still like her, i will go there May this year... So last year Christmas, New year 2023 and this year Valentine we celebrate together (I went to her state to celebrate with her 3 times), so far quite well and text with her everyday with some phone call. One of the phone call, we talk about like if dating how long then marriage? So far looks good... And i also got ask her in phone, is it you like want to find a someone better than me? She said no lah...

But last 2 week she seems cold to me but still got reply me lah and i found out some of her fb story that set me cant see (I use another fb to see her story). Got one story is her photo with a man, not sure they are old friend or what lah but why set me cant see?

Is she hiding from me or she just dont want me to ask if i can see it???

I think i need to prepare the sadness incoming... Damn she already hurt me once and now she wanna hurt me again???!!!

IF she really hurt me again i think i will not reply to her anymore!

move on bro... like a spare tyre for backup plan

she cute or ugly?

Yup now i also felt like i am just a backup...
Now just see how it goes... I dont put my hope high liao

6.5/10 Cute

Bro sorry to hear that but i think you already know why she hides the story from you. Time to move on.

This one no point, move on

Move on bro, this is already a sign for you to let you know ur just a backup in her life, no point giving up the whole forest just because of one tree.

Dont be sad, pm me i can offer you free daygame coaching

The question to ask is... why are you even letting her hurt you?

Why are you willingly putting yourself in a position to be hurt by her one more time?

If you see pain coming, why hang around waiting for it to hit you again?

Walk away, move on.

If you don't, your getting hurt won't be her fault.

You are not exclusive enough, your availability is too damn high. That's why you ended up in sparetyre position.

And you took so long to seal a deal. She asked you to chase her, first 2 dates , did you sense any opportunity to seal the deal? You drag long enough, then other people will snatch her instead.

She already asked you to try chase her, what's holding on you to not act fast within first 2 dates?

Yes is my fault to gave her the chance to hurt me again but that time before she ask me to chase her, she told me she was so sorry for treating me bad last time, maybe my heart is so soft so i gave her the chance...

I was trying to settle my stuff at her state first then seal the deal because she mentioned she dont like ldr...

Now i dont really know is it too late or what, this matter made me cant sleep today...

Is ok. Take your time to depressed over this. Then slowly stand back up but stronger.

To get a girl, everyone know we need to market ourselves. So this marketing is to create attraction from the opposite gender.

Now try to take your time to slowly move out and slowly figure out what is your selling points, and how can you improve your selling points.

And most importantly, be selfish. To improve yourself. You think for yourself..

move on

You are her spare tire. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Just cut all connections with her and start life fresh. Don't continue to be a simp.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Mar 5 2023, 10:14 AM

dont date one girl only

date as many girls as possible

have choices in life

Have u had sex with her yet? Like during those Christmas, New Year, Valentines dates?

I don't believe girls will easily have sex with a guy even if they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I prefer it my girl don't. I am ok with just holding hands and maybe maximum kissing.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Mar 5 2023, 11:00 PM

back in those days i was like you crying over 1 girl

i learnt to get a life, build a career, fund a hobby. looking back i felt kinda stupid to have done that crying over 1 girl. once you have value in your life, many girls will come queuing to date you

by then, your this girl you once cried for before will feel regretted and cut you off instead. you don't have to cut her, just mute her off social media

This post has been edited by Chaud: Mar 6 2023, 05:17 AM

this

ts dont put all egg in 1 basket

try court others while dating this girl

then u wont feel sad

i think the girl also doing the same , thats why she been cold to you, she already find a better man

She is plainly cheating on you & stringing you along whenever it doesn't work with someone else she prefers.

You are being used as backup option until she finds another better potential. Move on dude, don't be her backup. Or worse be the one she would settle if she runs out of options. Go for girls that appreciate or if better worship on the ground you walk on.

Don't take her back. Consider this as an experience to not repeat the same thing in the future

This post has been edited by Dr.Drool: Mar 6 2023, 11:31 AM

Bro..are you only going to date virgins? 😆

Anyways, girls are generally more selective than men when it comes to sex. Its a bigger deal for them.

Many girls will still go out with men who they are not attracted to, mainly for the attention, while she waits for the right guy.

They usually wont have sex with the simpy guy. For the right guy, they will.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Mar 6 2023, 09:25 AM

I never expect expect girls I am seeing to be a virgin honestly. It's not my criteria. For me, l expect them to have like 5 relationship maybe 3 sexual relationship out of the 5.

Obviously not too many.

For me. I won't pursue sex in a relationship. I will wait until marriage. Call me old fashion.

i had an fling with a virgin and she clearly knows we will part one day, she still gave me her 1st time...

the signs are there move on and dont give her anymore attention, she just playing your feelings

i dont know man but ur description reads like a simp

ts gotta let her go and find others

i used to chase a girl for near 5 years. it hurts and took me long enough to recover from it.

learning from lesson , i started dating multiple girls in a same time.

also in during that duration, i did ask the girls how long did she need to confirm . 1 mth ? 2 mth ?

after times up . i move on.

during that, im able to make choices which one suit me and i also have feeling for her.

now im happily married with the girl i choose and with have a kid.

you managed to fuck her or not ?

Confirm marriage?

She not even my gf but still consider cheating? Or should i said she treat me just another option?

She's just treating you as backup. Don't expect to be main person in her life. Grow up and cut all connection with her. You are just like a simp right now.

Wanna ask girl treating as backup is bad or common thing? Because i ask my sis, she also will like that!!...

Ask yourself why do you want to be a backup guy when the girl is obviously not interested in you? What do you wish to achieve?

You want to continue to hope that one day she's going to pick you? If yes, how long do you want to wait? Very important question to ask yourself.

For me, if a girl is keeping me as backup, I will cut all contact with her even if I like her. Cause my time is better spend on girls who treat me as their main guy.

If you did not have the exclusive talk with her (like officially boyfriend and girlfriend) she is entitle to see other guys, meet other guys as you are. Once you have the exclusive talk, there should not be any one other than you in the picture.

Now from your post, I can see you don't have that exclusive talk with her yet, and obviously she is not picking you over the other 2 guys which means you are in 3rd or 4th place. Do you still want to be in 3rd and 4th place,?

Being backup here means if she like this guy A and keeping you around for just in case. If things work out with guy A, you can forget about getting into relationship with her. From your post, after guy A, she still didn't pick you. She went for guy B if I am not mistaken. Them after that guy C. Your post since 2021. Now 2023 already. How long do you want to be spare tyre? 5 years? 10 years. Better for you to find younger girls.

For me, I never treat all girls I meet via dating app as spare tyre. I treat all of them as potential girlfriend material. I vet them all equally, go out talk with them and spend time with them all equally until I decide the one I want to be exclusive with. No special treatment.

Go and watch YouTube on why you should not be treated as spare tyre. I started with Courtney Ryan on red flags in women, what to lookout for and avoid.

This post has been edited by Ramjade: Mar 9 2023, 11:36 PM

can be together as couple.

But you want her to be your special rite? But it seems she doesn't see you the same. This is love unrequited. You need to get her out of your system if you can. You waste enough time with her not knowing you have a future/chance with her. Stay strong brother.

This post has been edited by Dr.Drool: Mar 10 2023, 10:18 AM

A guy being a simp is primarily caused by a weak parents upbringing. True stories

I had this relationship before. The girl compartmentalize my life from her's despite we've been dating for a year.

Asked her where we're going and she said let's see how it all goes without putting everything on the table. Found out from friends that they've been invited to be in her engagement party.

And she was shocked why I terus shut her off my from my life.

Best decision I ever made. I doubt I'll be happy in that relationship.

Run far far. Don't go near her anymore and cut her off your life. Find a new girl and start over.

wow so she had another bf outside and he became Fiance?

Yea, amazing right? Best part is I saw the fiance before while we're dating and I asked her who he is.

She said it was her cousin.

Later turns out it wasn't and she was lying to me. She knew the guy since they were young though.

You've really been through a lot worst than me. I know you don't want us to feel sorry and you had managed to handle it well. I must say, you are really mentally strong. kudos...

i dunno why there are such kinds of people , who purposely done such things. sigh

This post has been edited by FinalHistory: Mar 19 2023, 07:57 PM

Its not that strange, many girls do this.

They keep backup BFs, just in case their first choice doesnt work out

They keep their options open, date a few guys at the same time frame, while still looking out for/screening for the best dude.

This is true. And best of all, she also dated another guy which I had no idea but the guy was really hostile at me.

Only after I stop seeing her, some of my friends said she was dating this other guys which is why he hates my guts.

I didn't realize he was dating her because he's already married.

huh? The world is more complicated and vicious than I thought.

I had some girls still texting me despite having a bf
she asked me to not text her at what (day), after what (time)
she even offer to come out with to hook up after 2nd date but i was lazy because 'i got her'

A lot of guys can be blind and offer unconditional love to the girl when things suddenly thing flipped he didnt know what to do cause he has invested almost everything onto her

actually nothing is so special. just remember everyone should had their own privacy. just the privacy level is different only. is ok

Hehe... there's a fine line between 'love' and 'simping'. Don't simp and expect love in return, coz it tends not to end well.

Girls <30 are at the height of their value, because they have youth and beauty on their side. Men start to build their value >30, because that's when career and financial stability start to work in their favour.

So girls at the height of their value might tend to shop around to get the best deal they can get. It's only logical. Same with men when they gain access to choice. The only conclusion to be derived here is to make sure you are indeed the best choice available among the selection of possible partners she might have. If you're not (i.e. she's a very hot-looking girl whom better-off men are lusting after), then you had better be realistic lah in your expectations.

TLDR: Dating is hard for guys <30, the younger they are the harder it is. But fret not, coz time is on your side provided you mature and build yourself up well as time passes.

Cousin? LOL. That means she's still trying to string other guys along despite being committed, indicating that her man isn't of the highest value available to her in her eyes. That's a fucking huge red flag for her fiancee.

dun improve urself for the sake of luring more girls lah

improve urself because u know u have high self esteem, doesn't matter how many girls u attract.

If a young guy knows how to play the game, they can score some 26 or even 40s woman, i heard some guys as young as 17 already go to the field and practice

there are no excuses, just lower some standard probably

The moment I got that hint, I broke of contact with her. And she still wonder why I ghosted her till this day.

No, guys should also take a page out of girl's dating handbook. Girls make up to lure guys, guys can improve oneself to lure girls (use skin care products etc). Fair is fair

But TBH he already fund his own hobby etc meaning he found something he liked and that's not coz he wanna impress girls.

I prefer natural beauty.

U will notice girls look very different when they don't out make up vs put make up.

I prefer girls who take care of their body naturally, exercise, sleep better, meditate and eat healthily rather than put out an external aura.

I don't mind both ways and it is important the lady don't look too far off without make up on

Bro .... from me and all the bros in low yat ... dont continue on with this girl ... dont share stories with you means got something to hide from you lor ... you want to be in this kind of relationship meh... ????

So.......what's the conclusion? Up car d?