TS, I understand that you're basically having struggle in your head. You're struggling to fight over the negative side of yourself.

I can't comment good or bad on your actions based on what you share with us. It's about CHOICES. And every choice comes with CONSEQUENCES.

Good husband --- If you could just flip the roles between you and your
wife. What if she did exactly the same behind your back? Can you really tolerate it?

Good father --- If you could 100% ensure your kids would not suffer the deep pain of a tragic family history which started from you, sorry to say, and the deep pain and trauma which extend throughout your kids' future years, which might affect their future relationships, and which run thru their entire life.
The pain and trauma that started with the fact that their dad had did some actions that betrayed their mum, the fact their mum would have to bear all the emotional and health consequences entire life because of those actions.


May God bless you and your beloved family so that everything back on the right track.