TS came here for honest opinion but u guys blast him off from ur high horse. he phrased his question honestly, can't u guys cut him some slack? do u think TS wanted this? he can't get it up with his missus means he can't get it up with his missus no matter how much moral lessons u throw at him or guilt trip him. pray that it doesn't happen to u or ur hubby.

sorry TS, never been there. hope some1 traveled this path could give u perspectives.

you are trying to solve a problem by creating another problem?

if you really love your wife, stop cheating and come clean wife

if she forgives you, she's a gem. if she doesn't, you have to move on with life.

every action have it's own consequence, so do the right thing and be responsible

yes, thank you. probably i m here to seek comfort on my guilt.
i know what i m doing is wrong, and yes i feel guilty too.
Sorry but i want to know how many guys out there that is loyal only to their wife. Nvr curi makan ? This is very difficult for me. But what i can assure is that i will treat my family well and be responsible. I also appreciate my wife. I m sorry but i still live in ideal world which is to own both of them. Is this not forgivable ? I seek for forgiveness from netizen because i cannot be getting it from my wife, right.

If the girl divorcing right now and she asked you to divorce yours too, abandon all your kids and start a new family. What you'll do?

If you refuse, she cry mother and father, find your wife and family and explain the whole truth. What you'll do?


Of cos, wild flowers out there is attractive but think twice before even picking it up.

YOLO unker.. I hope you enjoy your lifetime without regrets..

Well, I can see that happening OR worse case, the husband finds out and wanna divorce her and she has nowhere to go but to TS and forces TS to choose.

U dont need to seek forgiveness from forum. Nobody literary give a F.

If u think u r wrong then do the right thing.
If u think its not wrong just continue.

Ofcourse if u asking the public wrong or right, the result depends which kind of crowd gave the answer.

Will you do what TS do if you are in the same situation?

Do what? Open thread?

Be in another person's arms

You are seeking confirmation bias.
You know it's wrong but yet you are still trying to find justification for it.

Hi, TS.

1. Just have an open talk with your wife saying that you miss her slim and sexy body shape.

2. Send her for slimming and beauty sessions for pampering too. She'll look great again after several months.

3. Get her an image consultant to go shopping for new clothes and accessories after she slims down.

4. Book some romantic vacation and go have fun together.

5. Buy sexy lingerie and sex toys to have more bedroom fun. You can watch p*rn together too if you want.

6. Do more couple activities and romantic dates on weekends to keep the sparks.

7. See a marriage counsellor or a sex therapist if needed for further intervention.

*

As for the married woman, your hookup will get you into legal trouble. It is a crime to sleep with another man's wife.




So, decide wisely.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Jan 6 2023, 02:05 PM

❤️

Those women who is willing to be exploited by a married man, don't expect they do not have their agenda. You condition is like a time bomb waiting to be exploded. You better change your working environment & leave all the dark history behind. Eliminate the risk associate with the wild flower for the damage control first.

After changing the working environment , remember & don't forget the shit path you have walked before. If concealing this past from your wife will do more good than harm, then just let it buried for good & never walk the same path again. After this, work on your wife not on the women outside your marriage if you really claim to love your family.

even charsiew will treat ur wife better than u, shame

You know your wife better than us strangers in this forum. First of all, I believe majority women cannot accept polygamy/sharing their partner. Do you think your wife will accept your affair and be okay for you to continue?

If no, what gave you the audacity to call yourself a good husband????

If you don't know, then good luck having this talk. I'd bet that you will lose her, but I don't want you to lose even more than that (losing money to me ). I came from a broken family where my late father wanted my mother to accept the mistress. He said he loved both of them. My mother was going ballistics about it and no surprises, eventually it led to a divorce. Actually, it was ultimately because of my late father's involvement with loan sharks that was jeopardising our family, not because of the mistress because she didn't want to lose him to her. Oh boyyyy.... if that reason wasn't there for her firm up her resolve, I think I'd have a mentally ill mom for holding onto an extremely toxic relationship. I think it's best you don't know the extent of what my mom did back then so you won't project that onto your current wife.

Look, I can understand when he said he loved both of them. I think to a certain extent, your ex**-love interests hold a special place in your heart because you have these memories. You just can't delete them. Some stronger memories keep eliciting those feelings and so it's not surprising if you still feel like you'd be okay fucking them. But no, at the end of the day, commitment is what matters and separates your wife from the rest. You make that decision everyday that you will trash that thought and never betray your life partner, and so does she. Once any side breaks that promise........ Both will know that the commitment is gone and it will never be the same again. The one cheated by the other will always have this one question haunting his/her mind, "will this person pull the same shit on me again? Is s/he doing it again today?"

** - this woman is a new love interest, sure, same shit different smell. If you ALLOWED yourself to interact so intimately with her, enough to fall for her, then you were giving in to temptations.

You fucked up. I am not giving you this validation you so crave for. If you wanted to release your sexual urges, what's wrong with your left/right hands/legs??

Edit: typo

This post has been edited by Takudan: Jan 8 2023, 12:00 AM

Okay you are cracking me. "legs" lmao

short answer, based on what u did, u definitely not a good husband and father, don't flatter yourself

TS, I understand that you're basically having struggle in your head. You're struggling to fight over the negative side of yourself.

I can't comment good or bad on your actions based on what you share with us. It's about CHOICES. And every choice comes with CONSEQUENCES.

Good husband --- If you could just flip the roles between you and your
wife. What if she did exactly the same behind your back? Can you really tolerate it?

Good father --- If you could 100% ensure your kids would not suffer the deep pain of a tragic family history which started from you, sorry to say, and the deep pain and trauma which extend throughout your kids' future years, which might affect their future relationships, and which run thru their entire life.
The pain and trauma that started with the fact that their dad had did some actions that betrayed their mum, the fact their mum would have to bear all the emotional and health consequences entire life because of those actions.


May God bless you and your beloved family so that everything back on the right track.

I am loyal to my wife of 10 years. I would be obviously lying if i say i never had any intentions of seeking out an affair. Regardless, I persevered precisely because i really love my wife, it took me some time to come to the terms that no one is perfect, you're not gonna get what you really want, if you can get even a part of it, it's a blessing. Give and take.

When it comes to the bedroom, we have a great sex life, in any normal relationships, there are of course its ups and downs, but for the most part, we're pretty happy. I'm sorry you can't get it up with your missus, medications (viagra/cialis) won't help if you aren't horny/attracted to your wife. But I understand that we all have our biological needs, if push comes to shove and i get desperate for whatever reason, I can marry up to 4 women LOL, no guilt, only more problems.

you can only choose one. either be a loving husband, loving father but self deprived of sex or having affair and hope not to get caught..
weighing what's at stake, i think you understand when you have the affair, its just a matter of time of being caught red handed and what's next course of action.
commitment towards your wife is being loyal and responsible to her, but what you are doing now is blinded by lusts. the commitment you speak now is out guilt you felt from having affair.
so in short, you mess up your marriage, probably your affair marriage too, since she is married to someone else.