QUOTE(AnythingK @ Dec 21 2022, 11:16 AM)
Yes, the next thing I need to do is deal with my insecurity. Why am I insecure? I always feel inferior when I am in a relationship, always afraid what if she find someone better all sort of stuff. I am always in the situation of what if this what if that. Some times I will
Do you feel inferior OUTSIDE relationships? e.g. with family/friends, in your career, etc. If not, then your problem will be easier to solve. If you're inferior in other aspects of life, then you will need to address something deeper. Assuming its only relationships, then you need to realise that your value comes from within and is affirmed/adjusted by others. You are afraid she leaves for another person because you don't see value in yourself, and ascribe her attention to you as your value. You feel valuable as long as she's paying you attention. The moment her attention goes elsewhere you no longer feel valued, and thus feel you're worthless. Of course you would then try to control and keep that attention so you remain "valuable".
Someone "better" is always out there. That is true for you, as much as it is for her. You can also find a younger, prettier, nicer, etc. woman at some later point in the future too. Relationships however are not built on specications. Its built on interaction between people. I have friends that are complete arseholes and also friends that are angels, what defines the friendship is what we went through together, not their looks, wealth, utility, etc.
A relationship is no different. You are building something with someone together, so focus on what is being built and if they no longer want to participate in that or show behavior that you can't partner with them, then drop them like a hot potato. You can only control what you do, not what others do. So choose wisely who should stay in your life.
QUOTE(AnythingK @ Dec 21 2022, 11:16 AM)
But what you said is definitely right, I cannot control people, if she just doesn't want to be with me, then no matter what I do, the consequences will still be the same.
Yes, but also a word of caution. Don't take this to mean you shouldn't do anything at all. Always put your best foot forward, do the right things for the relationship, if it doesn't work out then at least you know you did your best. The pain will still always be there, part of the risk. Just accept and embrace the pain as part of the journey. QUOTE(-mystery- @ Dec 21 2022, 11:42 AM)
This has been an ongoing problem for thousands of years la... monogamy still going strong In fact every civilization that strayed away from it has collapsed.