A man comes home from working at a pickle factory and he seems troubled. His wife asks him what's wrong and the man says, "Oh, nothing. I just... well... recently I've had an uncontrollable urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer."
His wife nearly faints, then she blurts out: "Why? You need to go see someone. I'm going to make an appointment with a therapist or someone tomorrow."
The man protests, "No, no. It's fine. Really. I'm not going to do it."
Everything is fine for a few weeks, but then the man comes home early from work and he's pale as a ghost. His wife inquires, "What's the matter? You look terrible!"
The husband tells her, "Well, remember when I said I wanted to put my penis in the pickle slicer?"
The wife gasps, "You did? What happened?"
The man starts to cry. "I got fired!"
"I don't care about that! Are you okay? What happened with the pickle slicer?"
The man sobs, "She got fired, too."