Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

 Back on track at office

views
     
J1g54w
post May 19 2022, 10:38 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
what opinion are you looking for?
J1g54w
post May 19 2022, 11:05 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
Some questions first:
You good-looking? Got 180cm tall? Well-groomed? Well-dressed? Drive what car? Wear what watch? (this determines your SMV and carries heavy context into the affairs below)

QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
It's a continuation of topic from << https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5263216 >>

Gave it some time, things are looking good now, I blend in nicely with my group now, however I have a few situations I might need some opinions:
Case A:
I have been noticing a girl from other department (secretary side if not mistaken) come to my department from time to time.
Of all the places, she chose to be near my presence, and I catch her eye contact a few times.
I did initiate conversation with her as I think she's cute, I commented I'd like to see her putting up ponytail someday, and she did it the other day.

After work, I was expecting to walk alone in the long lobby towards the car park, she would catch me and walk together, a few times as of now.

Problem to solve:
I don't know if she's attached, and can't be sure enough if she has any feels for me, but outlook is optimistic.
I am thinking my next step would be to get her office chat contact, I know her name, but unable to find her in system to start chatting online.
*
Assuming you're telling the whole story, she sounds interested in you. If attached she's probably not into her bf. If not attached, even better. Find an opportunity just when she's about to leave your place, tell her to system chat you, you have something to ask but cannot ask now because you're busy and she's returning to her work also. Then when she system chat you, ask what shampoo she uses because her hair looks nice and you've been wanting to change your shampoo brand. (example)


QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
Case B:
One of the girls for some reason likes to talk to me, just about anything. She also revealed she currently has a bf when she was telling me one of her stories.
However, she likes to chat with me in the system, looking forward to my lame jokes, and even send me gifts sometimes.

Problem to solve:
What's her problem?
*
What gifts? Can be just talkative. Bored. Found someone who is willing to chat with her, so she chat. If gifts are food/snacks, or the gifts are given to multiple colleagues not just you, then it's nothing special. Unless it's unique and maybe valuable gift... then come back to my original question at the top, why do you think they are attracted to you?

QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
Case C:
I met one girl from other department during the course of my work, one day she asked me out for lunch, we talked a lot along the way.
During lunch, one of the topics I touched on was how our peers are getting married and having kids.
After lunch I tried to ask her out during weekend using system chat, she didn't respond. However when we met each other in office, we would greet each other as if nothing happened.

Problem to solve:
Was it my problem to talk about marriage? Does it make me seem desperate and scared her away? Is it a good idea to avoid this altogether next time?
I did not communicate that I am in a rush to marry, I am merely discussing the happenings around me related to marriage, and also asked what's her plan in regards to marriage, what is the ideal age, etc.
*
Maybe awkward topic, wrong time in her life maybe. No full story conversation, hard to judge. But asking you out for lunch shows she's interested, and not replying to you in system chat shows she's not interested, is there a possibility that your system chat is bugged or not reaching her? Have you tried other chat? Or she already tested you throughout the lunch and you failed the test, she moved on.

QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
Case D:
There was a cute girl in canteen always taking orders from customer, I am her long-standing customer, I go to her every day until she remembered me and my habits.
Right before she resigned, I asked for her number, one of her female colleague saw me in action.
After work that day obviously I am going to text her, her responses in texting are quite different in real life, she's really passionate and energetic in real life, while not quite able to keep the texting flow going.
At this point I don't know how to continue texting her anymore, I take it as "not meant to be" if texting feels like a chore.

Problem to solve:
Any tips to revive the texts? Or more importantly, will my action of trying to hit on this girl in the canteen spread like wildfire in the office? I am worried people knew what I've done and it will look bad on me if I switch target in office.
*
Since it feels like a chore. Drop it. Move on. Don't be that asshole where just because 5 girls are cute, you want to piap all 5. If you're a playboy, then don't mess with girls looking for serious relationships.

QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
Case E (unrelated to office):
Added her in FB, she's quite the bad texter, eventually I gave up, but then she would re-initiate text with me from time to time.
One day she just directly ask me out, I agreed. We had a bit of awkward time together because everyday is full house and long queue, end up going into mall. still got some queue but bearable.
At this point about 3 dates already, next date going for badminton.

Problem to solve:
I can't figure out why she would auto come back to me after I let her go by not responding, twice? She looks decent, and seem like a conservative girl with no experience to me.
Best guess is she don't have pools to choose from, she helps to run her family business, unable to expand social circle, and it happened I am the only one trying to hit on her last time, and she came back for me.
I am a bit clueless on how to progress with such a person, she has 5 brothers, I am a bit worried if I mess things up, 5 of them will gang on me, lols.
*
Most likely from the sound of it. You want to "eat" her and "not waste"? If not, don't fool around, just stop entertaining her and focus on someone you actually likes (from above list).


J1g54w
post May 19 2022, 11:31 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 11:22 PM)
Based on how people rate me, it's a 7/10 I guess, above 170 below 180, dressed appropriately everyday without being too casual, just driving local car, no wear watch as it cannot be seen anyway with my long sleeves covering my wrist. Overall SMW I guess it's in the middle? Some good traits offset with some average traits.

Girl B only send gifts to me, not to others, not valuable but practical ones.

Chat is definitely not bugged, if I am a girl and the chat bugged and didn't receive message from the guy I liked, I would ping him again just to make sure, or talk more when met face to face.
I take it as she's not interested after ghosting my invitation. It's a normal rejection routine we all get when someone not interested in us, no big deal.
I don't think there is anything significant enough for me to remember the full conversation except the marriage topic which I suspect I scared her with it.

What happens if you mess with girls looking for serious relationships? I seen you emphasize this point twice, must be important to you.
Yep I like Girl A the most, hence the first list I wrote about her first.
I am going to think a smart excuse to get her system chat ID, it's kind of a failure on my part until now not yet ask for the system chat yet.
If don't like, can just don't click in and not watch, and yet here you are.
Something wrong with my post? You think they are fake?
*
because the way you write gives me the impression that you only care about your own feelings, even at the expense of hurting others. but if you're not, then good for you. playboys should look for girls who also share the same view. polygamous people with polygamous people. monogamous people with monogamous people. otherwise it's a world of hurt.

since you like girl A the most, and from what you have described of all girls she seems to be the one interested in you the most, then go for her.

J1g54w
post May 20 2022, 04:16 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
QUOTE(cfa28 @ May 20 2022, 07:54 AM)
I'm surprised that you actually get any work done in the office with so many distractions.

But the minute you focus special attention on any one colleague from the office, word will start to spread.

Serious advise is just ask the girl that you feel has the most chemistry for lunch and see where it goes

But if you still don't know which girl to pick, when in doubt, go for the girl with the biggest breast
*
lol'ed at this. kek sweat.gif
J1g54w
post May 20 2022, 08:33 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 20 2022, 08:18 PM)
POV from others are free from bias, I will take your word for it, I could not realize I am that self centered, what are the steps to start with to tackle this issue?

be more empathetic towards those who show affection/interest to you. if you are not going to reciprocate then do not keep them hanging and waste their time. make relationships clear cut. so are you interested in a serious relationship with A?

The power of gossip is enormous, I experienced it first hand in my ex-Co, which led to me having a miserable corporate life for 2 years.
That is why I am being so careful in this Co, always attempt to think if any of my actions can cause bad gossips.

Usually what do you look for in their fingers to suggest high probability of already married?

I remember I asked 1 of my female colleagues where she get her ring from, she told me she bought it from shop because it looks pretty, so the ring you see in anyone's finger can mean anything IMO.

The ring has to be on the left hand's ring finger. Other than that, any finger is fair play. If an unmarried girl wears a ring on this finger she's either trying to keep men at bay, OR she's plain stupid. No such thing as wearing a ring on ring finger to look nice.

In fact I spend a lot of time mega focused on my work, they all have the impression I am very busy with work. The stories happen when I was taking a short break away from monitor, or it is lunch hour.
I spread my attention evenly to all the girls in the gang, I hope I am fine.

which begs the question, why are you CONSCIOUSLY spreading attention evenly across the girls? normal people don't do this calculation, at least not consciously. what is it are you trying to achieve here?

Sadly, the one with the biggest breast is married, she likes to talk to me, and she's shorter than me, I can enjoy the view, can see but not touch.
That's precisely what I plan to do, if one is on track then I will forget everyone else, I don't want to backfire myself by trying to have it both ways.

Power of gossip is irreparable damage until you switch Co.

your Co all girls except you 1 guy? where are other male colleagues and do you mingle with them? if no, why not?
*
J1g54w
post May 20 2022, 09:12 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 20 2022, 08:49 PM)

*
ok, glad works for you. but then again if you show favoritism towards a girl naturally means you like her, and there's nothing wrong with that unless you are either not honest with yourself, or you probably just want to keep everything casual... in which case, you shouldn't even be asking about what to think of each girl to begin with.

based on what you said about serious relationship, is it correct to say you are afraid to commit and get hurt just because a girl "might change her mind"? if this is indeed how you think, then you're most probably not going to be serious with any of them? if this is so, then probably best for you to determine which one of them is okay with casual dating and not looking for a serious relationship with a guy.

most importantly, do you know what you really want? I have a few hypothetical scenario:

A. You want to be diplomatic at work, and none of relationship troubles. Meaning you will keep all of them at bay. Just want to focus on work.

B. You want to be the good guy for all the girls, hoping to get laid with multiple of them, but no serious relationships.

C. You want to wait until 1 girl commits seriously to you, and then you choose that girl to go serious with.

D. You want to learn more about all of them and eventually chase 1 of them and go serious.
J1g54w
post May 20 2022, 09:32 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
ok then you found your answer. good luck 👍
J1g54w
post Jul 6 2022, 10:08 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
QUOTE(Daprind @ Jul 5 2022, 06:18 PM)
Wah.. did not expect TS to go towards 渣男 attitude. Suggest you to cut ties with your two gfs if you have no interest on them. This is no longer an act of fate as per what you claimed earlier by pursuing all the goddamn single girl whenever chance strikes.

I am never against player, but please, don't go and break all these innocent girls heart by courting them simultaneously. That's wrong.

Cheap tactics tend to attract cheap chicks. I won't be surprise if I get to see your next deteriorate story on girl G. haha.
*
/k got many 渣男 it's not unusual

 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0329sec    0.27    6 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 29th March 2024 - 05:44 PM