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TSAshenOne
post May 19 2022, 10:17 PM, updated 7d ago

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It's a continuation of topic from << https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5263216 >>

Gave it some time, things are looking good now, I blend in nicely with my group now, however I have a few situations I might need some opinions:


Case A:
I have been noticing a girl from other department (secretary side if not mistaken) come to my department from time to time.
Of all the places, she chose to be near my presence, and I catch her eye contact a few times.
I did initiate conversation with her as I think she's cute, I commented I'd like to see her putting up ponytail someday, and she did it the other day.

After work, I was expecting to walk alone in the long lobby towards the car park, she would catch me and walk together, a few times as of now.

Problem to solve:
I don't know if she's attached, and can't be sure enough if she has any feels for me, but outlook is optimistic.
I am thinking my next step would be to get her office chat contact, I know her name, but unable to find her in system to start chatting online.


Case B:
One of the girls for some reason likes to talk to me, just about anything. She also revealed she currently has a bf when she was telling me one of her stories.
However, she likes to chat with me in the system, looking forward to my lame jokes, and even send me gifts sometimes.

Problem to solve:
What's her problem?


Case C:
I met one girl from other department during the course of my work, one day she asked me out for lunch, we talked a lot along the way.
During lunch, one of the topics I touched on was how our peers are getting married and having kids.
After lunch I tried to ask her out during weekend using system chat, she didn't respond. However when we met each other in office, we would greet each other as if nothing happened.

Problem to solve:
Was it my problem to talk about marriage? Does it make me seem desperate and scared her away? Is it a good idea to avoid this altogether next time?
I did not communicate that I am in a rush to marry, I am merely discussing the happenings around me related to marriage, and also asked what's her plan in regards to marriage, what is the ideal age, etc.


Case D:
There was a cute girl in canteen always taking orders from customer, I am her long-standing customer, I go to her every day until she remembered me and my habits.
Right before she resigned, I asked for her number, one of her female colleague saw me in action.
After work that day obviously I am going to text her, her responses in texting are quite different in real life, she's really passionate and energetic in real life, while not quite able to keep the texting flow going.
At this point I don't know how to continue texting her anymore, I take it as "not meant to be" if texting feels like a chore.

Problem to solve:
Any tips to revive the texts? Or more importantly, will my action of trying to hit on this girl in the canteen spread like wildfire in the office? I am worried people knew what I've done and it will look bad on me if I switch target in office.


Case E (unrelated to office):
Added her in FB, she's quite the bad texter, eventually I gave up, but then she would re-initiate text with me from time to time.
One day she just directly ask me out, I agreed. We had a bit of awkward time together because everyday is full house and long queue, end up going into mall. still got some queue but bearable.
At this point about 3 dates already, next date going for badminton.

Problem to solve:
I can't figure out why she would auto come back to me after I let her go by not responding, twice? She looks decent, and seem like a conservative girl with no experience to me.
Best guess is she don't have pools to choose from, she helps to run her family business, unable to expand social circle, and it happened I am the only one trying to hit on her last time, and she came back for me.
I am a bit clueless on how to progress with such a person, she has 5 brothers, I am a bit worried if I mess things up, 5 of them will gang on me, lols.
J1g54w
post May 19 2022, 10:38 PM

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what opinion are you looking for?
WaCKy-Angel
post May 19 2022, 10:42 PM

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Geez u and your never ending office romance
TSAshenOne
post May 19 2022, 10:44 PM

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QUOTE(J1g54w @ May 19 2022, 10:38 PM)
what opinion are you looking for?
*
Possible ways of looking into it, at the "problem to solve" section just beneath each Case.

QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ May 19 2022, 10:42 PM)
Geez u and your never ending office romance
*
Can't help it, some not within my control, they just came, and I act accordingly.
J1g54w
post May 19 2022, 11:05 PM

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Some questions first:
You good-looking? Got 180cm tall? Well-groomed? Well-dressed? Drive what car? Wear what watch? (this determines your SMV and carries heavy context into the affairs below)

QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
It's a continuation of topic from << https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5263216 >>

Gave it some time, things are looking good now, I blend in nicely with my group now, however I have a few situations I might need some opinions:
Case A:
I have been noticing a girl from other department (secretary side if not mistaken) come to my department from time to time.
Of all the places, she chose to be near my presence, and I catch her eye contact a few times.
I did initiate conversation with her as I think she's cute, I commented I'd like to see her putting up ponytail someday, and she did it the other day.

After work, I was expecting to walk alone in the long lobby towards the car park, she would catch me and walk together, a few times as of now.

Problem to solve:
I don't know if she's attached, and can't be sure enough if she has any feels for me, but outlook is optimistic.
I am thinking my next step would be to get her office chat contact, I know her name, but unable to find her in system to start chatting online.
*
Assuming you're telling the whole story, she sounds interested in you. If attached she's probably not into her bf. If not attached, even better. Find an opportunity just when she's about to leave your place, tell her to system chat you, you have something to ask but cannot ask now because you're busy and she's returning to her work also. Then when she system chat you, ask what shampoo she uses because her hair looks nice and you've been wanting to change your shampoo brand. (example)


QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
Case B:
One of the girls for some reason likes to talk to me, just about anything. She also revealed she currently has a bf when she was telling me one of her stories.
However, she likes to chat with me in the system, looking forward to my lame jokes, and even send me gifts sometimes.

Problem to solve:
What's her problem?
*
What gifts? Can be just talkative. Bored. Found someone who is willing to chat with her, so she chat. If gifts are food/snacks, or the gifts are given to multiple colleagues not just you, then it's nothing special. Unless it's unique and maybe valuable gift... then come back to my original question at the top, why do you think they are attracted to you?

QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
Case C:
I met one girl from other department during the course of my work, one day she asked me out for lunch, we talked a lot along the way.
During lunch, one of the topics I touched on was how our peers are getting married and having kids.
After lunch I tried to ask her out during weekend using system chat, she didn't respond. However when we met each other in office, we would greet each other as if nothing happened.

Problem to solve:
Was it my problem to talk about marriage? Does it make me seem desperate and scared her away? Is it a good idea to avoid this altogether next time?
I did not communicate that I am in a rush to marry, I am merely discussing the happenings around me related to marriage, and also asked what's her plan in regards to marriage, what is the ideal age, etc.
*
Maybe awkward topic, wrong time in her life maybe. No full story conversation, hard to judge. But asking you out for lunch shows she's interested, and not replying to you in system chat shows she's not interested, is there a possibility that your system chat is bugged or not reaching her? Have you tried other chat? Or she already tested you throughout the lunch and you failed the test, she moved on.

QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
Case D:
There was a cute girl in canteen always taking orders from customer, I am her long-standing customer, I go to her every day until she remembered me and my habits.
Right before she resigned, I asked for her number, one of her female colleague saw me in action.
After work that day obviously I am going to text her, her responses in texting are quite different in real life, she's really passionate and energetic in real life, while not quite able to keep the texting flow going.
At this point I don't know how to continue texting her anymore, I take it as "not meant to be" if texting feels like a chore.

Problem to solve:
Any tips to revive the texts? Or more importantly, will my action of trying to hit on this girl in the canteen spread like wildfire in the office? I am worried people knew what I've done and it will look bad on me if I switch target in office.
*
Since it feels like a chore. Drop it. Move on. Don't be that asshole where just because 5 girls are cute, you want to piap all 5. If you're a playboy, then don't mess with girls looking for serious relationships.

QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
Case E (unrelated to office):
Added her in FB, she's quite the bad texter, eventually I gave up, but then she would re-initiate text with me from time to time.
One day she just directly ask me out, I agreed. We had a bit of awkward time together because everyday is full house and long queue, end up going into mall. still got some queue but bearable.
At this point about 3 dates already, next date going for badminton.

Problem to solve:
I can't figure out why she would auto come back to me after I let her go by not responding, twice? She looks decent, and seem like a conservative girl with no experience to me.
Best guess is she don't have pools to choose from, she helps to run her family business, unable to expand social circle, and it happened I am the only one trying to hit on her last time, and she came back for me.
I am a bit clueless on how to progress with such a person, she has 5 brothers, I am a bit worried if I mess things up, 5 of them will gang on me, lols.
*
Most likely from the sound of it. You want to "eat" her and "not waste"? If not, don't fool around, just stop entertaining her and focus on someone you actually likes (from above list).


lopo90
post May 19 2022, 11:06 PM

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Looks like girl from case A likes you wor out of the other girls. Next round you just ask for her number la, on the pretext that you wanna share with her something on WhatsApp

Case b girl just wanna tok kok sing song with you, from my POV

I think case c girl you kinda scare her with marriage and she not really responding to you

Case d girl also not really interested in you, even texting like so so only. If girl really like you, texting will upgrade to next level and proceed to go outing together

Sounds like case E girl is not really your type and a relationship with her might get complicated


Tldr

You got a shot with case A girl. She seems to be submissive as well
yungkit14
post May 19 2022, 11:07 PM

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QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ May 19 2022, 10:42 PM)
Geez u and your never ending office romance
*
thats why work from home is better ,everyday see this lanjiao bullshit stoli really want to see mco again
TSAshenOne
post May 19 2022, 11:22 PM

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QUOTE(J1g54w @ May 19 2022, 11:05 PM)
Some questions first:
You good-looking? Got 180cm tall? Well-groomed? Well-dressed? Drive what car? Wear what watch? (this determines your SMV and carries heavy context into the affairs below)
Assuming you're telling the whole story, she sounds interested in you. If attached she's probably not into her bf. If not attached, even better. Find an opportunity just when she's about to leave your place, tell her to system chat you, you have something to ask but cannot ask now because you're busy and she's returning to her work also. Then when she system chat you, ask what shampoo she uses because her hair looks nice and you've been wanting to change your shampoo brand. (example)
What gifts? Can be just talkative. Bored. Found someone who is willing to chat with her, so she chat. If gifts are food/snacks, or the gifts are given to multiple colleagues not just you, then it's nothing special. Unless it's unique and maybe valuable gift... then come back to my original question at the top, why do you think they are attracted to you?
Maybe awkward topic, wrong time in her life maybe. No full story conversation, hard to judge. But asking you out for lunch shows she's interested, and not replying to you in system chat shows she's not interested, is there a possibility that your system chat is bugged or not reaching her? Have you tried other chat? Or she already tested you throughout the lunch and you failed the test, she moved on.
Since it feels like a chore. Drop it. Move on. Don't be that asshole where just because 5 girls are cute, you want to piap all 5. If you're a playboy, then don't mess with girls looking for serious relationships.
Most likely from the sound of it. You want to "eat" her and "not waste"? If not, don't fool around, just stop entertaining her and focus on someone you actually likes (from above list).
*
Based on how people rate me, it's a 7/10 I guess, above 170 below 180, dressed appropriately everyday without being too casual, just driving local car, no wear watch as it cannot be seen anyway with my long sleeves covering my wrist. Overall SMW I guess it's in the middle? Some good traits offset with some average traits.

Girl B only send gifts to me, not to others, not valuable but practical ones.

Chat is definitely not bugged, if I am a girl and the chat bugged and didn't receive message from the guy I liked, I would ping him again just to make sure, or talk more when met face to face.
I take it as she's not interested after ghosting my invitation. It's a normal rejection routine we all get when someone not interested in us, no big deal.
I don't think there is anything significant enough for me to remember the full conversation except the marriage topic which I suspect I scared her with it.

What happens if you mess with girls looking for serious relationships? I seen you emphasize this point twice, must be important to you.



QUOTE(lopo90 @ May 19 2022, 11:06 PM)
Looks like girl from case A likes you wor out of the other girls. Next round you just ask for her number la, on the pretext that you wanna share with her something on WhatsApp

Case b girl just wanna tok kok sing song with you, from my POV

I think case c girl you kinda scare her with marriage and she not really responding to you

Case d girl also not really interested in you, even texting like so so only. If girl really like you, texting will upgrade to next level and proceed to go outing together

Sounds like case E girl is not really your type and a relationship with her might get complicated
Tldr

You got a shot with case A girl. She seems to be submissive as well
*
Yep I like Girl A the most, hence the first list I wrote about her first.
I am going to think a smart excuse to get her system chat ID, it's kind of a failure on my part until now not yet ask for the system chat yet.

QUOTE(yungkit14 @ May 19 2022, 11:07 PM)
thats why work from home is better ,everyday see this lanjiao bullshit stoli really want to see mco again
*
If don't like, can just don't click in and not watch, and yet here you are.
Something wrong with my post? You think they are fake?
J1g54w
post May 19 2022, 11:31 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 11:22 PM)
Based on how people rate me, it's a 7/10 I guess, above 170 below 180, dressed appropriately everyday without being too casual, just driving local car, no wear watch as it cannot be seen anyway with my long sleeves covering my wrist. Overall SMW I guess it's in the middle? Some good traits offset with some average traits.

Girl B only send gifts to me, not to others, not valuable but practical ones.

Chat is definitely not bugged, if I am a girl and the chat bugged and didn't receive message from the guy I liked, I would ping him again just to make sure, or talk more when met face to face.
I take it as she's not interested after ghosting my invitation. It's a normal rejection routine we all get when someone not interested in us, no big deal.
I don't think there is anything significant enough for me to remember the full conversation except the marriage topic which I suspect I scared her with it.

What happens if you mess with girls looking for serious relationships? I seen you emphasize this point twice, must be important to you.
Yep I like Girl A the most, hence the first list I wrote about her first.
I am going to think a smart excuse to get her system chat ID, it's kind of a failure on my part until now not yet ask for the system chat yet.
If don't like, can just don't click in and not watch, and yet here you are.
Something wrong with my post? You think they are fake?
*
because the way you write gives me the impression that you only care about your own feelings, even at the expense of hurting others. but if you're not, then good for you. playboys should look for girls who also share the same view. polygamous people with polygamous people. monogamous people with monogamous people. otherwise it's a world of hurt.

since you like girl A the most, and from what you have described of all girls she seems to be the one interested in you the most, then go for her.

yungkit14
post May 19 2022, 11:32 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 11:22 PM)
Based on how people rate me, it's a 7/10 I guess, above 170 below 180, dressed appropriately everyday without being too casual, just driving local car, no wear watch as it cannot be seen anyway with my long sleeves covering my wrist. Overall SMW I guess it's in the middle? Some good traits offset with some average traits.

Girl B only send gifts to me, not to others, not valuable but practical ones.

Chat is definitely not bugged, if I am a girl and the chat bugged and didn't receive message from the guy I liked, I would ping him again just to make sure, or talk more when met face to face.
I take it as she's not interested after ghosting my invitation. It's a normal rejection routine we all get when someone not interested in us, no big deal.
I don't think there is anything significant enough for me to remember the full conversation except the marriage topic which I suspect I scared her with it.

What happens if you mess with girls looking for serious relationships? I seen you emphasize this point twice, must be important to you.
Yep I like Girl A the most, hence the first list I wrote about her first.
I am going to think a smart excuse to get her system chat ID, it's kind of a failure on my part until now not yet ask for the system chat yet.
If don't like, can just don't click in and not watch, and yet here you are.
Something wrong with my post? You think they are fake?
*
want kaolui but scare of gossip boleh blah la
nihility
post May 20 2022, 07:50 AM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
It's a continuation of topic from << https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5263216 >>

Gave it some time, things are looking good now, I blend in nicely with my group now, however I have a few situations I might need some opinions:
Case A:
I have been noticing a girl from other department (secretary side if not mistaken) come to my department from time to time.
Of all the places, she chose to be near my presence, and I catch her eye contact a few times.
I did initiate conversation with her as I think she's cute, I commented I'd like to see her putting up ponytail someday, and she did it the other day.

After work, I was expecting to walk alone in the long lobby towards the car park, she would catch me and walk together, a few times as of now.

Problem to solve:
I don't know if she's attached, and can't be sure enough if she has any feels for me, but outlook is optimistic.
I am thinking my next step would be to get her office chat contact, I know her name, but unable to find her in system to start chatting online.
Case B:
One of the girls for some reason likes to talk to me, just about anything. She also revealed she currently has a bf when she was telling me one of her stories.
However, she likes to chat with me in the system, looking forward to my lame jokes, and even send me gifts sometimes.

Problem to solve:
What's her problem?
Case C:
I met one girl from other department during the course of my work, one day she asked me out for lunch, we talked a lot along the way.
During lunch, one of the topics I touched on was how our peers are getting married and having kids.
After lunch I tried to ask her out during weekend using system chat, she didn't respond. However when we met each other in office, we would greet each other as if nothing happened.

Problem to solve:
Was it my problem to talk about marriage? Does it make me seem desperate and scared her away? Is it a good idea to avoid this altogether next time?
I did not communicate that I am in a rush to marry, I am merely discussing the happenings around me related to marriage, and also asked what's her plan in regards to marriage, what is the ideal age, etc.
Case D:
There was a cute girl in canteen always taking orders from customer, I am her long-standing customer, I go to her every day until she remembered me and my habits.
Right before she resigned, I asked for her number, one of her female colleague saw me in action.
After work that day obviously I am going to text her, her responses in texting are quite different in real life, she's really passionate and energetic in real life, while not quite able to keep the texting flow going.
At this point I don't know how to continue texting her anymore, I take it as "not meant to be" if texting feels like a chore.

Problem to solve:
Any tips to revive the texts? Or more importantly, will my action of trying to hit on this girl in the canteen spread like wildfire in the office? I am worried people knew what I've done and it will look bad on me if I switch target in office.
Case E (unrelated to office):
Added her in FB, she's quite the bad texter, eventually I gave up, but then she would re-initiate text with me from time to time.
One day she just directly ask me out, I agreed. We had a bit of awkward time together because everyday is full house and long queue, end up going into mall. still got some queue but bearable.
At this point about 3 dates already, next date going for badminton.

Problem to solve:
I can't figure out why she would auto come back to me after I let her go by not responding, twice? She looks decent, and seem like a conservative girl with no experience to me.
Best guess is she don't have pools to choose from, she helps to run her family business, unable to expand social circle, and it happened I am the only one trying to hit on her last time, and she came back for me.
I am a bit clueless on how to progress with such a person, she has 5 brothers, I am a bit worried if I mess things up, 5 of them will gang on me, lols.
*
Young man, you got so many problems. Simplified things in life & don't make thing complicated.

Among case A,B,C, D & E just filter out 1 or 2 candidate(s) that can click with you the most and see how thing develop from there. Going out with too many girls even though not yet in official relationship will create unfavorable perception toward yourself.

This should the filtering result from my end : A>E . You can drop the intention for B,C & D.

Case A: It appeared that she is making thing easy for you. Just be more observant to see if she is wearing any marriage ring in her finger. If there no, just be a bit more thick face and ask for her contact direct. Old ppl used to say, if the man has a thick face, the is no worry about the man not being able find a wife.

Case B: Just a friend only.

Case C: Yes, marriage and ideal age to get married is a sensitive topic, you do not know when you are going to offend the people by talking about this issue. Both men & women gets offended. Just avoid it.

Case D: Just call instead of texting. Some ppl just don't text.

Case E: The public crowds after all sectors reopened is out of norm for the last few weeks. All eateries need to queue, it is a norm. Unless you opt for less popular & more premium options, I doubt you can do away the crowd for the time being.

Young ppl problem, the girl didn't response - complaint. The girl responded on her own - complaint. Really cannot understand why you need to figure out why she auto come back to you unless you have the intention to exploits on this weakness. If you don't have the intention to cause any harm, her 5 brothers reaction should be least of your concern. The intend need to be correct. In life, if we cannot become a kind person, it is acceptable but don't ever become a bad people that causes other ppl to suffer intentionally.
cfa28
post May 20 2022, 07:54 AM

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I'm surprised that you actually get any work done in the office with so many distractions.

But the minute you focus special attention on any one colleague from the office, word will start to spread.

Serious advise is just ask the girl that you feel has the most chemistry for lunch and see where it goes

But if you still don't know which girl to pick, when in doubt, go for the girl with the biggest breast
silverhawk
post May 20 2022, 11:48 AM

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Case X: Post in forum over thinking situations and showing general lack of social skills

Problem to solve: Stop seeing people as means to satisfy your own desires.
Takudan
post May 20 2022, 12:18 PM

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QUOTE(J1g54w @ May 19 2022, 11:31 PM)
because the way you write gives me the impression that you only care about your own feelings, even at the expense of hurting others. but if you're not, then good for you. playboys should look for girls who also share the same view. polygamous people with polygamous people. monogamous people with monogamous people. otherwise it's a world of hurt.

since you like girl A the most, and from what you have described of all girls she seems to be the one interested in you the most, then go for her.
*
If I may add on: go for A and don't lead on anyone else if you intend to have a serious relationship. Even if not, people will know you are hitting on multiple girls at the same time as gossips will spread and eventually multiple girls realise you're that one same person going after them. You will be labelled as a playboy and it's not going to end well.

And then you'll create another thread wondering why people gossip about you 🤷‍♀️
Chaud
post May 20 2022, 12:25 PM

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keep rolling until you encounter the one that you are able to solve your own problem first.
K0MR4DE
post May 20 2022, 12:28 PM

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Interested to get an update from TS. Today is Friday, longer lunch hour
-mystery-
post May 20 2022, 12:31 PM

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QUOTE(silverhawk @ May 20 2022, 11:48 AM)
Case X: Post in forum over thinking situations and showing general lack of social skills

Problem to solve: Stop seeing people as means to satisfy your own desires.
*
lazy to overanalyze situations nowadays, if a girl doesnt want, i can always find the next one.
no need to self doubt own values
J1g54w
post May 20 2022, 04:16 PM

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QUOTE(cfa28 @ May 20 2022, 07:54 AM)
I'm surprised that you actually get any work done in the office with so many distractions.

But the minute you focus special attention on any one colleague from the office, word will start to spread.

Serious advise is just ask the girl that you feel has the most chemistry for lunch and see where it goes

But if you still don't know which girl to pick, when in doubt, go for the girl with the biggest breast
*
lol'ed at this. kek sweat.gif
TSAshenOne
post May 20 2022, 08:18 PM

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QUOTE(J1g54w @ May 19 2022, 11:31 PM)
because the way you write gives me the impression that you only care about your own feelings, even at the expense of hurting others. but if you're not, then good for you. playboys should look for girls who also share the same view. polygamous people with polygamous people. monogamous people with monogamous people. otherwise it's a world of hurt.

since you like girl A the most, and from what you have described of all girls she seems to be the one interested in you the most, then go for her.
*
POV from others are free from bias, I will take your word for it, I could not realize I am that self centered, what are the steps to start with to tackle this issue?

QUOTE(yungkit14 @ May 19 2022, 11:32 PM)
want kaolui but scare of gossip boleh blah la
*
The power of gossip is enormous, I experienced it first hand in my ex-Co, which led to me having a miserable corporate life for 2 years.
That is why I am being so careful in this Co, always attempt to think if any of my actions can cause bad gossips.

QUOTE(nihility @ May 20 2022, 07:50 AM)
Young man, you got so many problems. Simplified things in life & don't make thing complicated.

Among case A,B,C, D & E just filter out 1 or 2 candidate(s) that can click with you the most and see how thing develop from there. Going out with too many girls even though not yet in official relationship will create unfavorable perception toward yourself.

This should the filtering result from my end : A>E . You can drop the intention for B,C & D.

Case A: It appeared that she is making thing easy for you. Just be more observant to see if she is wearing any marriage ring in her finger. If there no, just be a bit more thick face and ask for her contact direct. Old ppl used to say, if the man has a thick face, the is no worry about the man not being able find a wife.

Case B: Just a friend only.

Case C: Yes, marriage and ideal age to get married is a sensitive topic, you do not know when you are going to offend the people by talking about this issue. Both men & women gets offended. Just avoid it.

Case D: Just call instead of texting. Some ppl just don't text.

Case E: The public crowds after all sectors reopened is out of norm for the last few weeks. All eateries need to queue, it is a norm. Unless you opt for less popular & more premium options, I doubt you can do away the crowd for the time being.

Young ppl problem, the girl didn't response - complaint. The girl responded on her own - complaint. Really cannot understand why you need to figure out why she auto come back to you unless you have the intention to exploits on this weakness.  If you don't have the intention to cause any harm, her 5 brothers reaction should be least of your concern. The intend need to be correct. In life, if we cannot become a kind person, it is acceptable but don't ever become a bad people that causes other ppl to suffer intentionally.
*
Usually what do you look for in their fingers to suggest high probability of already married?
I remember I asked 1 of my female colleagues where she get her ring from, she told me she bought it from shop because it looks pretty, so the ring you see in anyone's finger can mean anything IMO.

QUOTE(cfa28 @ May 20 2022, 07:54 AM)
I'm surprised that you actually get any work done in the office with so many distractions.

But the minute you focus special attention on any one colleague from the office, word will start to spread.

Serious advise is just ask the girl that you feel has the most chemistry for lunch and see where it goes

But if you still don't know which girl to pick, when in doubt, go for the girl with the biggest breast
*
In fact I spend a lot of time mega focused on my work, they all have the impression I am very busy with work. The stories happen when I was taking a short break away from monitor, or it is lunch hour.
I spread my attention evenly to all the girls in the gang, I hope I am fine.

Sadly, the one with the biggest breast is married, she likes to talk to me, and she's shorter than me, I can enjoy the view, can see but not touch.


QUOTE(Takudan @ May 20 2022, 12:18 PM)
If I may add on: go for A and don't lead on anyone else if you intend to have a serious relationship. Even if not, people will know you are hitting on multiple girls at the same time as gossips will spread and eventually multiple girls realise you're that one same person going after them. You will be labelled as a playboy and it's not going to end well.

And then you'll create another thread wondering why people gossip about you 🤷‍♀️
*
That's precisely what I plan to do, if one is on track then I will forget everyone else, I don't want to backfire myself by trying to have it both ways.
Power of gossip is irreparable damage until you switch Co.
TSAshenOne
post May 20 2022, 08:32 PM

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QUOTE(K0MR4DE @ May 20 2022, 12:28 PM)
Interested to get an update from TS. Today is Friday, longer lunch hour
*
Girl A, on track, advancing my progress a little every day, today we coincidentally met at lobby again, so we walk towards car park, she saw a cat from afar and scared of it, she wrap her arm around mine and continue like this until we reached our cars.

Girl B as usual, getting closer and comfortable after each passing day, but me and her knew she is attached, I will not think too much about advancing further, unless her actions starting to suggest otherwise in future.

Girls C lost track ever since she ghosted my invitation right after we had our lunch, lunch was invited by her, I marked it as lost cause.

Girl D, I have no motivation to revive the text, I guess she was only acting warm and friendly because of her job, maybe I am just a customer in her eyes and not special after all.

Girl E, somewhat complication situation. We barely text, our text now is just scheduling our next meeting, nothing more, I think it is mostly because of me lazy to text her, if I text her, she will reply.
I think I am just going through the motion with this girl. I do not have high motivation to keep texting her.
Maybe someday we can develop deeper bond down the road if we keep meeting, but for now I might just focus on Girl A if she really has feelings for me, because I do have strong feelings for her.

On a side note, the girl gang started to notice I am interacting with Girl A more than I should, it is a bad idea to suddenly switch target anyway.
J1g54w
post May 20 2022, 08:33 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 20 2022, 08:18 PM)
POV from others are free from bias, I will take your word for it, I could not realize I am that self centered, what are the steps to start with to tackle this issue?

be more empathetic towards those who show affection/interest to you. if you are not going to reciprocate then do not keep them hanging and waste their time. make relationships clear cut. so are you interested in a serious relationship with A?

The power of gossip is enormous, I experienced it first hand in my ex-Co, which led to me having a miserable corporate life for 2 years.
That is why I am being so careful in this Co, always attempt to think if any of my actions can cause bad gossips.

Usually what do you look for in their fingers to suggest high probability of already married?

I remember I asked 1 of my female colleagues where she get her ring from, she told me she bought it from shop because it looks pretty, so the ring you see in anyone's finger can mean anything IMO.

The ring has to be on the left hand's ring finger. Other than that, any finger is fair play. If an unmarried girl wears a ring on this finger she's either trying to keep men at bay, OR she's plain stupid. No such thing as wearing a ring on ring finger to look nice.

In fact I spend a lot of time mega focused on my work, they all have the impression I am very busy with work. The stories happen when I was taking a short break away from monitor, or it is lunch hour.
I spread my attention evenly to all the girls in the gang, I hope I am fine.

which begs the question, why are you CONSCIOUSLY spreading attention evenly across the girls? normal people don't do this calculation, at least not consciously. what is it are you trying to achieve here?

Sadly, the one with the biggest breast is married, she likes to talk to me, and she's shorter than me, I can enjoy the view, can see but not touch.
That's precisely what I plan to do, if one is on track then I will forget everyone else, I don't want to backfire myself by trying to have it both ways.

Power of gossip is irreparable damage until you switch Co.

your Co all girls except you 1 guy? where are other male colleagues and do you mingle with them? if no, why not?
*
TSAshenOne
post May 20 2022, 08:49 PM

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QUOTE(J1g54w @ May 20 2022, 08:33 PM)
be more empathetic towards those who show affection/interest to you. if you are not going to reciprocate then do not keep them hanging and waste their time. make relationships clear cut. so are you interested in a serious relationship with A?
I think there is no doubt that I want to be with her, but the world we live in nowadays, anything can happen, serious relationship may look like child's play considering divorce rate is so high.
One day she acknowledges you as her bf, suddenly one day she would say the relationship is not there to begin with, they change their minds easily.
I would not put any weight on relationship labels, nor the things they say.


The ring has to be on the left hand's ring finger. Other than that, any finger is fair play. If an unmarried girl wears a ring on this finger she's either trying to keep men at bay, OR she's plain stupid. No such thing as wearing a ring on ring finger to look nice.
Thanks for this big tip, I actually did not know this considering I lived this long, moving forward I know where to look.

which begs the question, why are you CONSCIOUSLY spreading attention evenly across the girls? normal people don't do this calculation, at least not consciously. what is it are you trying to achieve here?
Trying to not display favoritism towards any girl, which can invite gossip such as I am trying to hit on her, not sure about you, but it seems common sense to me.
At this point I think it worked quite well, I can sense they let their guard down now, more relaxed and open, maybe because the threat of trying to hit on them is not there anymore.


your Co all girls except you 1 guy? where are other male colleagues and do you mingle with them? if no, why not?
In my department, besides the biggest boss, I am the only guy there, the gender population here is overwhelmingly imbalanced.



*
J1g54w
post May 20 2022, 09:12 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 20 2022, 08:49 PM)

*
ok, glad works for you. but then again if you show favoritism towards a girl naturally means you like her, and there's nothing wrong with that unless you are either not honest with yourself, or you probably just want to keep everything casual... in which case, you shouldn't even be asking about what to think of each girl to begin with.

based on what you said about serious relationship, is it correct to say you are afraid to commit and get hurt just because a girl "might change her mind"? if this is indeed how you think, then you're most probably not going to be serious with any of them? if this is so, then probably best for you to determine which one of them is okay with casual dating and not looking for a serious relationship with a guy.

most importantly, do you know what you really want? I have a few hypothetical scenario:

A. You want to be diplomatic at work, and none of relationship troubles. Meaning you will keep all of them at bay. Just want to focus on work.

B. You want to be the good guy for all the girls, hoping to get laid with multiple of them, but no serious relationships.

C. You want to wait until 1 girl commits seriously to you, and then you choose that girl to go serious with.

D. You want to learn more about all of them and eventually chase 1 of them and go serious.
jenniJenni
post May 20 2022, 09:25 PM

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Wowza working in the office seems interesting with this amount of romance stories ...
Only if all these stories are even real

Anyways no offense and OP can even just skip my comment Thanks.















QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ May 19 2022, 10:42 PM)
Geez u and your never ending office romance
*
Is is just me?
This Forummer sounds so much like another Forummer (cant even recall the name).

In the past, he used to come up with his endless romance stories in this section once in a while.

This post has been edited by jenniJenni: May 20 2022, 09:26 PM
Life_House
post May 20 2022, 09:28 PM

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Suggest that, observe for a few months the personality and traits carefully on the girl you're interested first, before you want to rush to start a r ship with someone

Can the girl generally provide herself enough sense of security, example not too clingy. Not feeling over sensitive when you talk to other girls at work or in work related chat.
This would be important if you want long term r.ship.

Can the girl don't mind A-A system when going out for,say a casual dinner. Or one time you belanja her, next time her turn.

Can the girl live her life quite independent and meaningful and strive for improvement from time to time.

Last most importantly, as no one is perfect, can the girl tolerate your bad sides when you're in certain stressful times.
AND, Can you tolerate her bad sides when the same happen.

Most girls easy emo when it comes to dating and r.ship.
Even though some girls can almost think like a guy very rational and calm.



This post has been edited by Life_House: May 20 2022, 09:29 PM
TSAshenOne
post May 20 2022, 09:30 PM

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QUOTE(J1g54w @ May 20 2022, 09:12 PM)
ok, glad works for you. but then again if you show favoritism towards a girl naturally means you like her, and there's nothing wrong with that unless you are either not honest with yourself, or you probably just want to keep everything casual... in which case, you shouldn't even be asking about what to think of each girl to begin with.

based on what you said about serious relationship, is it correct to say you are afraid to commit and get hurt just because a girl "might change her mind"? if this is indeed how you think, then you're most probably not going to be serious with any of them? if this is so, then probably best for you to determine which one of them is okay with casual dating and not looking for a serious relationship with a guy.

most importantly, do you know what you really want? I have a few hypothetical scenario:

A. You want to be diplomatic at work, and none of relationship troubles. Meaning you will keep all of them at bay. Just want to focus on work.

B. You want to be the good guy for all the girls, hoping to get laid with multiple of them, but no serious relationships.

C. You want to wait until 1 girl commits seriously to you, and then you choose that girl to go serious with.

D. You want to learn more about all of them and eventually chase 1 of them and go serious.
*
Nothing wrong with favoritism but it invites gossip, as if they all know you are aiming for Girl X, if you switch target abruptly, that act of favoritism ends up backfire and haunts you, at least that is what I believe.
So logically I am left with no choice but to stick to One if I actually succeeded in getting someone there.

I can be serious, but I need to keep in mind she can and will leave at anytime if that day comes, so there can never really be any disappointment if worst case end up materialized.

Probably answer D.
J1g54w
post May 20 2022, 09:32 PM

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ok then you found your answer. good luck 👍
TSAshenOne
post May 20 2022, 09:38 PM

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QUOTE(jenniJenni @ May 20 2022, 09:25 PM)
Wowza working in the office seems interesting with this amount of romance stories ...
Only if all these stories are even real

Anyways no offense and OP can even just skip my comment Thanks.
Is is just me?
This Forummer sounds so much like another Forummer (cant even recall the name).

In the past, he used to come up with his endless romance stories in this section once in a while.
*
Why would I waste my time here putting fake stories? If that is my intention, I might as well use my imagination to exaggerate the story.

QUOTE(Life_House @ May 20 2022, 09:28 PM)
Suggest that, observe for a few months the personality and traits carefully on the girl you're interested first, before you want to rush to start a r ship with someone

Can the girl generally provide herself enough sense of security, example not too clingy. Not feeling over sensitive when you talk to other girls at work or in work related chat.
This would be important if you want long term r.ship.

Can the girl don't mind A-A system when going out for,say a casual dinner. Or one time you belanja her, next time her turn.

Can the girl live her life quite independent and meaningful and strive for improvement from time to time.

Last most importantly, as no one is perfect, can the girl tolerate your bad sides when you're in certain stressful times.
AND, Can you tolerate her bad sides when the same happen.

Most girls easy emo when it comes to dating and r.ship.
Even though some girls can almost think like a guy very rational and calm.
*
I on the other hand have a vastly different view from yours, while waiting for the assessment you stated, the window of opportunity may be closed off and someone would have gotten her before me.
I have experienced a few times where I did not capitalize on the golden window of opportunity and never got a Second chance.
I had plenty of chances to make little progress each day due to my busy schedule, I think it is a way the Gods finally giving me a break.

However if you are talking about dating stage, not commited and assess her until it is time to go serious, then it will make sense.
After all, right now it is just infatuation doing its job for both me and that girl, we do not really know each other in depth.
Life_House
post May 20 2022, 11:18 PM

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Yes. That's what I'm trying to express. Seize the chance, give it a try, but give some months of observation.

It's only the right one who is suitable with you at your core values and her any less good sides are totally within your tolerance and acceptance,

Then only it can last longer and the backfire type of issues won't repeat.



This post has been edited by Life_House: May 20 2022, 11:32 PM
WaCKy-Angel
post May 22 2022, 07:56 AM

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gsem984 is that u?
Pewufod
post May 22 2022, 10:18 PM

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QUOTE(jenniJenni @ May 20 2022, 09:25 PM)
Wowza working in the office seems interesting with this amount of romance stories ...
Only if all these stories are even real

Anyways no offense and OP can even just skip my comment Thanks.
Is is just me?
This Forummer sounds so much like another Forummer (cant even recall the name).

In the past, he used to come up with his endless romance stories in this section once in a while.
*
sasuke la
cactus_
post May 22 2022, 10:46 PM

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Why there are so many girls, imo just focus on one, girls like to gossip tho and news spread like yr previous company again
TSAshenOne
post May 22 2022, 11:59 PM

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Decimated by Girl E in badminton on Saturday, luckily the 2nd half of the match she used up her stamina too soon too fierce and I won the match at the end. It was weird to unexpectedly exposing my weak self but in some way I think we got closer after that date, we both laugh it off our weaknesses.

It's going to be another week of weekdays again, looking forward to seeing Girl A again, make more progress, hopefully get her out in a week or two.
Napalm_man
post May 24 2022, 07:39 AM

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I see your hands are full of girls, based on yr situation, the girl A looks promising.

If I were you, girl A of course.

"I don't know if she's attached, and can't be sure enough if she has any feels for me, but outlook is optimistic" - You tried as her out?
mezanny
post May 24 2022, 04:42 PM

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Seriously ?

R u looking for a one night stand or relationship ?

If its a latter, will you for crying out loud, focus on one target.
Case A, B, C, D, E....aiyoyo
TSAshenOne
post May 24 2022, 09:43 PM

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QUOTE(Napalm_man @ May 24 2022, 07:39 AM)
I see your hands are full of girls, based on yr situation, the girl A looks promising.

If I were you, girl A of course.

"I don't know if she's attached, and can't be sure enough if she has any feels for me, but outlook is optimistic" - You tried as her out?
*
I am not so convinced now, I am getting mixed signals,

a) In the system chat, sometimes she seemed enthusiastic in her reply with smileys, sometimes felt cold and just reply me for the sake of replying, which made me need to find fresh topic to keep it going.
b) In real life at office, sometimes she seemed happy to see me, sometimes she passed by me in the Public space as if I am invisible.

Asking out is really risky, I think I will try ask for lunch first, if can't seem to arrange one, then it might be that she just sees me as a friend / colleague, nothing more.

QUOTE(mezanny @ May 24 2022, 04:42 PM)
Seriously ?

R u looking for a one night stand or relationship ?

If its a latter, will you for crying out loud, focus on one target.
Case A, B, C, D, E....aiyoyo
*
Both genders do try out with different potential candidates, then filter out 1 by 1, before finally settled with the one you are satisfied the most, isn't it?
If only focus on 1, ignore the rest, then didn't work out, you will need to back to square one again very soon, at least that is how I perceived it.
TSAshenOne
post May 25 2022, 09:37 PM

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Made somewhat mixed progress today, didn't really agreed for lunch, but she did made effort chat with me today in system chat, I am suspecting she is playing hard to get, she won't let me easily progress fast enough, but gave enough positive signs to keep me going
TSAshenOne
post May 30 2022, 09:15 PM

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At the moment, for Girl A, I don't think I am going to make it.
There were numerous times she stopped the texting cycle the moment she went home, if my text ended that day with an open question, she actually will not reply back the next day. This is not what someone would do if there is interest to get to know more about someone.

I take it as I misjudged her interest towards me? She was never into me after all?
But what do I know? There were instances where the other girl didn't do great in texting, then I gave up, at the end for unknown reason they just come back to me like nothing happened. Girl A may turned out to be like that, or maybe not, doesn't matter.

I continued to make more progress with Girl E though. Rejected her invitation last Sun, but accepted this coming Sun.

EDIT: Girl A will put more effort in interacting with me only when she is absolutely alone and no one around, also she will reply with effort again if I just text her again after her "seen" in System Chat, didn't try to text her today. In general kind of a mixed signal to be honest, I am not sure if she is just playing hard to get, or there is really nothing much beyond friends...

This post has been edited by AshenOne: May 30 2022, 09:25 PM
Life_House
post May 30 2022, 10:52 PM

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Maybe, just maybe, Girl A is testing, or maybe the situations are testing, whether or not you can tame your emotions when it comes to dating & r.ship .

It's like after you see thru the up down trends in graphs yet still remain "stay grounded" and unfazed to the many patterns of the girl.


dattebayo
post May 31 2022, 01:36 PM

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avoid using office chat software to talk about intimate stuffs

if things turned sour it can be used against u for potential sexual harassments
K0MR4DE
post May 31 2022, 02:26 PM

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Still following TS relationship journey! Aiyoo~ I really thought Girl A got potential, see first how this plays out
Daprind
post May 31 2022, 04:54 PM

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Have you tried to find out if girl A already attached or not? instead of assuming this and that...
TSAshenOne
post May 31 2022, 09:40 PM

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QUOTE(K0MR4DE @ May 31 2022, 02:26 PM)
Still following TS relationship journey! Aiyoo~ I really thought Girl A got potential, see first how this plays out
*
Yep see first, things can change unexpectedly when you least expect it.
Back in my other Ex company I met a girl I considered as "out of league", she is desirable and super wealthy, her instagram all travelling photos with her family.

I only did WhatsApp her once in a while, greet her in office when we met, never once I thought she would invite me out 1 on 1 in some random day.
The date went really well, but I didn't push it to happy ending when she allows it, after that she didn't find me again, perhaps offended by my inaction.

QUOTE(Daprind @ May 31 2022, 04:54 PM)
Have you tried to find out if girl A already attached or not? instead of assuming this and that...
*
That is one of the big thing I wish to find out, I checked her fingers as 1 of the forumer guided me, she doesn't have any ring in Ring finger.
I also tried to lead the texting conversation in a way for her to have plenty of chances to tell me if she is attached or not, such as:

a) Any plans for weekend? (If attached, most likely will say going to meet her boyfriend.)
b) Where you get that ring from? (Could be gift from bf)

None of her answers lead to any indication of being attached.
On the flip side, she continues to show up near my department area, she absolutely has no reason to do that.
I know for a fact that when you like someone, you want to appear near the person as often as possible.

But other times, she is inconsistent in system chat behavior, made me feel like she is not interested.
I don't know man, the silence in system chat continues to this day, I was very busy with my work anyway, it helps me focus more and get more work done without dealing with her.
Daprind
post Jun 1 2022, 10:40 AM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 31 2022, 09:40 PM)
Yep see first, things can change unexpectedly when you least expect it.
Back in my other Ex company I met a girl I considered as "out of league", she is desirable and super wealthy, her instagram all travelling photos with her family.

I only did WhatsApp her once in a while, greet her in office when we met, never once I thought she would invite me out 1 on 1 in some random day.
The date went really well, but I didn't push it to happy ending when she allows it, after that she didn't find me again, perhaps offended by my inaction.

That is one of the big thing I wish to find out, I checked her fingers as 1 of the forumer guided me, she doesn't have any ring in Ring finger.
I also tried to lead the texting conversation in a way for her to have plenty of chances to tell me if she is attached or not, such as:

a) Any plans for weekend? (If attached, most likely will say going to meet her boyfriend.)
b) Where you get that ring from? (Could be gift from bf)

None of her answers lead to any indication of being attached.
On the flip side, she continues to show up near my department area, she absolutely has no reason to do that.
I know for a fact that when you like someone, you want to appear near the person as often as possible.

But other times, she is inconsistent in system chat behavior, made me feel like she is not interested.
I don't know man, the silence in system chat continues to this day, I was very busy with my work anyway, it helps me focus more and get more work done without dealing with her.
*
Good on the inaction part that made the progress ended. Although some girls (puiyi/cathryn) do not mind their partner's net worth is lesser than them. But the question is whether male willing to be beta or not, that's another topic we can discuss on another day.

Now back at your girl A. The way I see you emphasized on her frequent visit in your area, my POV is either she wanna bermakcik bawang with her girlfrens or just wanna attract your attention (since you are the only male in your dept which proves your perception right).

Does she has any close bestie in your dept? I find it unnecessary to always show up in your area considering her nature of work is secretary unless her boss's work is also linked with your dept.

Second, if I were you, fish her and be direct. Since you r bold enough to ask for ponytail, then just lightly tell her 'Shall we go for quick lunch one day? I hope your bf don't mind la'. Tbh, we women prefer direct and less small talk guy.

Also don't be discouraged by slow response on chat. I personally does not like chatting. Always ghosted every chat if I get the message or I find it boring/unrelated. I can judge you are more introvert (heavy relying on chat) while girl A is extrovert (her ignoring your chat and swing by at ur area). Perhaps, try to engage f2f conversation more often than texting. I know its hard but why not give it a try?

But then again, no point to go through all this if at the end of the day you only realize she is not single afterall.
dattebayo
post Jun 1 2022, 03:58 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 31 2022, 09:40 PM)
Yep see first, things can change unexpectedly when you least expect it.
Back in my other Ex company I met a girl I considered as "out of league", she is desirable and super wealthy, her instagram all travelling photos with her family.

I only did WhatsApp her once in a while, greet her in office when we met, never once I thought she would invite me out 1 on 1 in some random day.
The date went really well, but I didn't push it to happy ending when she allows it, after that she didn't find me again, perhaps offended by my inaction.

That is one of the big thing I wish to find out, I checked her fingers as 1 of the forumer guided me, she doesn't have any ring in Ring finger.
I also tried to lead the texting conversation in a way for her to have plenty of chances to tell me if she is attached or not, such as:

a) Any plans for weekend? (If attached, most likely will say going to meet her boyfriend.)
b) Where you get that ring from? (Could be gift from bf)

None of her answers lead to any indication of being attached.
On the flip side, she continues to show up near my department area, she absolutely has no reason to do that.
I know for a fact that when you like someone, you want to appear near the person as often as possible.

But other times, she is inconsistent in system chat behavior, made me feel like she is not interested.
I don't know man, the silence in system chat continues to this day, I was very busy with my work anyway, it helps me focus more and get more work done without dealing with her.
*
what did you mean by "happy ending" ?
TSAshenOne
post Jun 1 2022, 09:36 PM

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QUOTE(Daprind @ Jun 1 2022, 10:40 AM)
Good on the inaction part that made the progress ended. Although some girls (puiyi/cathryn) do not mind their partner's net worth is lesser than them. But the question is whether male willing to be beta or not, that's another topic we can discuss on another day.

Now back at your girl A. The way I see you emphasized on her frequent visit in your area, my POV is either she wanna bermakcik bawang with her girlfrens or just wanna attract your attention (since you are the only male in your dept which proves your perception right).

Does she has any close bestie in your dept? I find it unnecessary to always show up in your area considering her nature of work is secretary unless her boss's work is also linked with your dept.

Second, if I were you, fish her and be direct. Since you r bold enough to ask for ponytail, then just lightly tell her 'Shall we go for quick lunch one day? I hope your bf don't mind la'. Tbh, we women prefer direct and less small talk guy.

Also don't be discouraged by slow response on chat. I personally does not like chatting. Always ghosted every chat if I get the message or I find it boring/unrelated. I can judge you are more introvert (heavy relying on chat) while girl A is extrovert (her ignoring your chat and swing by at ur area). Perhaps, try to engage f2f conversation more often than texting. I know its hard but why not give it a try?

But then again, no point to go through all this if at the end of the day you only realize she is not single afterall.
*
Being with wealthy girl means the guy will need to be beta? I can't seem to understand your quote but I believe money is the least concerning factor in wealthy people's mind, they already have money, they want to look for something else in their partner.

She does not know anyone in my own Dept.

I indirectly asked her to lunch with me by telling her a Food Court nearby has good food, it will be good if she join me. I didn't outright ask her to join me.
She told me she lazy travel to there just for food, so I take it as a gentle let down.
Maybe I try ask outright the next time I see her, if reject, I take it as not interested.


QUOTE(dattebayo @ Jun 1 2022, 03:58 PM)
what did you mean by "happy ending" ?
*
The same meaning when people say they want to get "happy ending" after massaging at hotel.
TSAshenOne
post Jun 3 2022, 06:10 PM

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I asked Girl A out yesterday, the reply I get is a no, but in a playful manner.
I don't know man, I feel like this isn't the end, maybe she need more time to get to know each other before getting comfortable enough, or she is just letting me down gently. In a way this put my mind at ease, no longer need to think about whether I can get her out or not. Any effort from now on will be casual, if it is meant to be, it will be.

I revived my connection with Girl D after my rejection from Girl A, things looking positive, expect an outing soon with her.

Going out with Girl E on weekend as usual.
K0MR4DE
post Jun 7 2022, 10:50 AM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ Jun 3 2022, 06:10 PM)
I asked Girl A out yesterday, the reply I get is a no, but in a playful manner.
I don't know man, I feel like this isn't the end, maybe she need more time to get to know each other before getting comfortable enough, or she is just letting me down gently. In a way this put my mind at ease, no longer need to think about whether I can get her out or not. Any effort from now on will be casual, if it is meant to be, it will be.

I revived my connection with Girl D after my rejection from Girl A, things looking positive, expect an outing soon with her.

Going out with Girl E on weekend as usual.
*
Any update regarding Girl E?
TSAshenOne
post Jun 7 2022, 03:05 PM

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QUOTE(K0MR4DE @ Jun 7 2022, 10:50 AM)
Any update regarding Girl E?
*
Girl E always guaranteed to meet weekly, more activity arranged for next outing. One major pain point is cannot overnight, which means no trip, cannot go far away to eat better food, sight seeing, and more.
anndroid
post Jun 7 2022, 03:32 PM

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You just seem so desperate TS idk but for girls being so observant and desperate for a relationship is a turn off. I am the type who dont believe in trying out different people but believe in falling for the right person naturally and that right person will appear in your life when you least expected.

This post has been edited by anndroid: Jun 7 2022, 03:34 PM
TSAshenOne
post Jun 7 2022, 03:47 PM

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QUOTE(anndroid @ Jun 7 2022, 03:32 PM)
You just seem so desperate TS idk but for girls being so observant and desperate for a relationship is a turn off. I am the type who dont believe in trying out different people but believe in falling for the right person naturally and that right person will appear in your life when you least expected.
*
People actively trying to change their fate, to a certain extent.
You are saying you will leave everything completely to chance, what if that person never comes? That's the problem.

You take it when the cake is placed in front of you, or you go to many places just to see if there is any cake for you to take, that's the difference being desperate or not.
TSAshenOne
post Jun 15 2022, 10:56 PM

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Update:

Girl A - Just normal chats and greetings when met each other, nothing much going on, noticed her right hand index finger has a ring, if I am not mistaken this means she is in a relationship? I haven't ask about the ring yet, thinking of an excuse, maybe "nice ring you have there, where you get it from?", you guys can give me some suggestions to bait her to tell me the origin of the ring without being too obvious of trying to test her relationship status.

Girl B - Getting closer and closer each day, now we have more frequent physical contacts and inside jokes, she would chat me up in system chat very often too. I have a feeling one day we are going to cross the line and don't know what to do about it.

Girl C - permanent lost cause

Girl D - To meet in a week's time.

Girl E - Getting closer after each weekly outing, can notice she is already warmed up to me, got more physical contacts than before, I think the time for holding hands will be not far away. Claim her as GF is within sight.

Girl F (new) - To meet next week, matched randomly in FB, her photos all showing her big assets / cleavages, overall sexy pics, and in her social media loves to show her texts with other guys, and gifts from other guys. I still have many days before meeting her, she is a bad texter that will end the loop without follow up, making me scratch my head to come up with interesting topic to keep the text going, maybe I should stop texting altogether and just meet her on that day itself and do face to face interactions. Any tips how to deal with this kind of girl?

This post has been edited by AshenOne: Jun 15 2022, 10:57 PM
achong09
post Jun 20 2022, 09:41 AM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ May 19 2022, 10:17 PM)
It's a continuation of topic from << https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5263216 >>

Gave it some time, things are looking good now, I blend in nicely with my group now, however I have a few situations I might need some opinions:
Case A:
I have been noticing a girl from other department (secretary side if not mistaken) come to my department from time to time.
Of all the places, she chose to be near my presence, and I catch her eye contact a few times.
I did initiate conversation with her as I think she's cute, I commented I'd like to see her putting up ponytail someday, and she did it the other day.

After work, I was expecting to walk alone in the long lobby towards the car park, she would catch me and walk together, a few times as of now.

Problem to solve:
I don't know if she's attached, and can't be sure enough if she has any feels for me, but outlook is optimistic.
I am thinking my next step would be to get her office chat contact, I know her name, but unable to find her in system to start chatting online.
Case B:
One of the girls for some reason likes to talk to me, just about anything. She also revealed she currently has a bf when she was telling me one of her stories.
However, she likes to chat with me in the system, looking forward to my lame jokes, and even send me gifts sometimes.

Problem to solve:
What's her problem?
Case C:
I met one girl from other department during the course of my work, one day she asked me out for lunch, we talked a lot along the way.
During lunch, one of the topics I touched on was how our peers are getting married and having kids.
After lunch I tried to ask her out during weekend using system chat, she didn't respond. However when we met each other in office, we would greet each other as if nothing happened.

Problem to solve:
Was it my problem to talk about marriage? Does it make me seem desperate and scared her away? Is it a good idea to avoid this altogether next time?
I did not communicate that I am in a rush to marry, I am merely discussing the happenings around me related to marriage, and also asked what's her plan in regards to marriage, what is the ideal age, etc.
Case D:
There was a cute girl in canteen always taking orders from customer, I am her long-standing customer, I go to her every day until she remembered me and my habits.
Right before she resigned, I asked for her number, one of her female colleague saw me in action.
After work that day obviously I am going to text her, her responses in texting are quite different in real life, she's really passionate and energetic in real life, while not quite able to keep the texting flow going.
At this point I don't know how to continue texting her anymore, I take it as "not meant to be" if texting feels like a chore.

Problem to solve:
Any tips to revive the texts? Or more importantly, will my action of trying to hit on this girl in the canteen spread like wildfire in the office? I am worried people knew what I've done and it will look bad on me if I switch target in office.
Case E (unrelated to office):
Added her in FB, she's quite the bad texter, eventually I gave up, but then she would re-initiate text with me from time to time.
One day she just directly ask me out, I agreed. We had a bit of awkward time together because everyday is full house and long queue, end up going into mall. still got some queue but bearable.
At this point about 3 dates already, next date going for badminton.

Problem to solve:
I can't figure out why she would auto come back to me after I let her go by not responding, twice? She looks decent, and seem like a conservative girl with no experience to me.
Best guess is she don't have pools to choose from, she helps to run her family business, unable to expand social circle, and it happened I am the only one trying to hit on her last time, and she came back for me.
I am a bit clueless on how to progress with such a person, she has 5 brothers, I am a bit worried if I mess things up, 5 of them will gang on me, lols.
*
Bro, your office got vacancy ka?? i want to apply leh... hehehe

K0MR4DE
post Jun 20 2022, 09:59 AM

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5 days already, any update TS? Interested to know about Girl B and Girl E update. Girl A feels macam bad news incoming? Or is it because she bought the ring due to the cheap gold price..

In the Malay realm, walao this is the time they bought an engagement + wedding ring for their GF soon to be Fiance, soon to be wifey..
TSAshenOne
post Jun 20 2022, 10:28 PM

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QUOTE(achong09 @ Jun 20 2022, 09:41 AM)
Bro, your office got vacancy ka?? i want to apply leh... hehehe
*
What did you study? Not sure if there are vacancies for your role.

QUOTE(K0MR4DE @ Jun 20 2022, 09:59 AM)
5 days already, any update TS? Interested to know about Girl B and Girl E update. Girl A feels macam bad news incoming? Or is it because she bought the ring due to the cheap gold price..

In the Malay realm, walao this is the time they bought an engagement + wedding ring for their GF soon to be Fiance, soon to be wifey..
*
Girl A - Still trying to figure out if she is just playing hard to get, or unavailable and not interested. Need some time.

Girl B - Usual, expect things to stay the way it is now for the foreseeable future, until some catalyst disrupt the status quo and made her cross the line, I for sure do not want to be the one to cross it first.

Girl E - Didn't have the energy to meet her during the weekend, needed more Me Time. She made some foods for me and drove to my place to give it to me.

Girl F - Met tonight, face looked so so without the cam filter, but wow I never seen such big balloons before, it was hard keeping a straight face and look at her eyes instead of somewhere else. We both got quite a lot of physical contacts, things went pretty well, and scheduled again same time next week. Claim as GF within sight too.

Not just Malay, my Chinese realm getting married here and there too, those married for some time all their stories are about their babies.
Meanwhile, I still want to grind more, I do not want a poor life after marriage.
Also, dating a few girls at the same time, I am starting to feel the impact to my wallet, it hinders my grinding progress a bit, maybe I need to think a way to reduce my spending with them.
Ideally I just focus on one, preferably Girl A, and be done with it.
TSAshenOne
post Jun 21 2022, 09:54 PM

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I'm so fking done with my luck, I saw Girl A holding hands with a guy nearby office after work, no wonder why I just feel like I cannot make further progress beyond friends. I should have known if I am having doubts, I am foolish to not follow my own rule, there is a rule says the girl would not want to give you the wrong idea if she has feelings for you, she will make it easy for you, not harder, even if they are playing hard to get, they do it in a fun way rather than you feel like being stone walled.

So Girl A, lost cause.

But found Girl G, she is in my own department, and I never consider her before due to this. Recently I can sense she is staring at me in a dreamy way when we are talking, before that I cracked lots of jokes that made her day, several times, probably this is what leads to this result. She is real hot too, but as usual I am unsure if she is single, need some time, some way to find out.
K0MR4DE
post Jun 22 2022, 11:11 AM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ Jun 21 2022, 09:54 PM)
I'm so fking done with my luck, I saw Girl A holding hands with a guy nearby office after work, no wonder why I just feel like I cannot make further progress beyond friends. I should have known if I am having doubts, I am foolish to not follow my own rule, there is a rule says the girl would not want to give you the wrong idea if she has feelings for you, she will make it easy for you, not harder, even if they are playing hard to get, they do it in a fun way rather than you feel like being stone walled.

So Girl A, lost cause.

But found Girl G, she is in my own department, and I never consider her before due to this. Recently I can sense she is staring at me in a dreamy way when we are talking, before that I cracked lots of jokes that made her day, several times, probably this is what leads to this result. She is real hot too, but as usual I am unsure if she is single, need some time, some way to find out.
*
I knew it Girl A bad news incoming one! I innocently thought that she wore the ring for accessories only, since Chinese? If I saw Malay girl has a ring on the finger, straight away lari liao is not worth it to kacau other people relationship / trying to entertain her "friendliness". Haiyaa! Just focus on Girl B and Girl E lah at the moment. Both of them look like promising candidates! Do Girl B / Girl F has made you something like Girl E and deliver it to you too? In relation to my personal experience, if a girl made you homemade food means she kinda like-like you since no woman would want to spend their time in the kitchen preparing something without a reason..

Also want to break my news, this weekend my girl also invited me to her house one for a homemade cook lunch rclxm9.gif
Femsroot
post Jun 23 2022, 06:22 PM

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u sound like a perasan guy. ppl talk to u abit u think ppl like u. ppl touch u, u naik bendera. get a life la.

be a principled man and only go for the girl that u like the most. not every cat passby aso u fatt hao. OMG i really kenot read ur stories.

puke.gif
TSAshenOne
post Jun 23 2022, 10:22 PM

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QUOTE(K0MR4DE @ Jun 22 2022, 11:11 AM)
I knew it Girl A bad news incoming one! I innocently thought that she wore the ring for accessories only, since Chinese? If I saw Malay girl has a ring on the finger, straight away lari liao is not worth it to kacau other people relationship / trying to entertain her "friendliness". Haiyaa! Just focus on Girl B and Girl E lah at the moment. Both of them look like promising candidates! Do Girl B / Girl F has made you something like Girl E and deliver it to you too? In relation to my personal experience, if a girl made you homemade food means she kinda like-like you since no woman would want to spend their time in the kitchen preparing something without a reason..

Also want to break my news, this weekend my girl also invited me to her house one for a homemade cook lunch  rclxm9.gif
*
Happy for you, that's progress right there being invited to her house.
I had many girls made food for me in the past, I don't feel anything anymore, it's all the same cycle, feels like Deja Vu all over again.
The cycle goes like this: girl like me > start dating > make food for me > eventually infatuation run out > things started to go downhill > go separate ways.
So when a girl make food for me, it just reminds me of the cycles, and won't feel good nor bad, just numbness.

I don't know how many more cycles I need to go through, judging my terrible luck, it could be forever.
But, I am just going to keep trying, move on with life, take what life has to offer to me, go along with the motion.

QUOTE(Femsroot @ Jun 23 2022, 06:22 PM)
u sound like a perasan guy. ppl talk to u abit u think ppl like u. ppl touch u, u naik bendera. get a life la.

be a principled man and only go for the girl that u like the most. not every cat passby aso u fatt hao. OMG i really kenot read ur stories.

puke.gif
*
Principle led me to nowhere, and you can just avoid clicking my thread if you are so against it, I am sorry.
saintcute
post Jul 3 2022, 02:27 PM

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i think u r someone that thought with some closer interaction, the girl takes interest in you and you might have a chance and start visualising it. Just be yourself, be spontaneous and at the same time ask them out on a date. if rejected move on, because if a girl is interested in you, if she not free, she will suggest another time.

This post has been edited by saintcute: Jul 3 2022, 02:28 PM
TSAshenOne
post Jul 4 2022, 12:23 AM

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I felt somewhat terrible, I have 2 gf now, Girl E & F.
I do not feel anything in my heart, I am just going through the motions, they are going to be disappointed if they find this out...

Girl E is a slow warming type, and she recently warmed up to me a lot, started to hold hands & her waist with no push backs. She lives in her own world without outside connections, I am the only one who goes out with her, in other times she would just spend with family or watch dramas. I like her enough, but not enough for me to fall head over heels for her.

Girl F wanted to try out my cuisine and went to my home, and we went to bed that night. After we were done with our business, she told me about her high body count history, and also visualize a future of us together, building a family, and so on. I appreciate her honesty of telling me her dark side of secrets, but I cannot accept it. Her recent body count is due to some guy wanted to try it out with her, and she let him. Is it too naive she expect me to just marry her after she's been pumped and dumped so many times? No sane man would do that...

Girl G, is the one I liked the most after Girl A, I would stop all interaction with other girls if I succeeded. I cannot find any sign of her being attached, I will use my usual tactic to make her feel happy via jokes and small thoughtful gifts, it's been working well so far, and it's the very method that I made Girl E & F fall for me.

Maintained platonic relation with Girl A, if something good happens down the road, good. If nothing, it is cool too. Most importantly not to start distant myself from her after knowing she is attached, if not then it will be too obvious and made both of us awkward later.

Girl B is still playing with fire, constantly trying to interact with me for no reason. Breaks my focus on work sometimes but I do not really mind, at the end of day I am still able to finish and be on track.

Girl D further pushed back our rescheduled date, I am lazy to deal with this until further notice.

How did things end up like this? Am I a bad person now?

This post has been edited by AshenOne: Jul 4 2022, 12:25 AM
K0MR4DE
post Jul 4 2022, 10:35 AM

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From: Petaling Jaya


QUOTE(AshenOne @ Jul 4 2022, 12:23 AM)
I felt somewhat terrible, I have 2 gf now, Girl E & F.
I do not feel anything in my heart, I am just going through the motions, they are going to be disappointed if they find this out...

Girl E is a slow warming type, and she recently warmed up to me a lot, started to hold hands & her waist with no push backs. She lives in her own world without outside connections, I am the only one who goes out with her, in other times she would just spend with family or watch dramas. I like her enough, but not enough for me to fall head over heels for her.

Girl F wanted to try out my cuisine and went to my home, and we went to bed that night. After we were done with our business, she told me about her high body count history, and also visualize a future of us together, building a family, and so on. I appreciate her honesty of telling me her dark side of secrets, but I cannot accept it. Her recent body count is due to some guy wanted to try it out with her, and she let him. Is it too naive she expect me to just marry her after she's been pumped and dumped so many times? No sane man would do that...

Girl G, is the one I liked the most after Girl A, I would stop all interaction with other girls if I succeeded. I cannot find any sign of her being attached, I will use my usual tactic to make her feel happy via jokes and small thoughtful gifts, it's been working well so far, and it's the very method that I made Girl E & F fall for me.

Maintained platonic relation with Girl A, if something good happens down the road, good. If nothing, it is cool too. Most importantly not to start distant myself from her after knowing she is attached, if not then it will be too obvious and made both of us awkward later.

Girl B is still playing with fire, constantly trying to interact with me for no reason. Breaks my focus on work sometimes but I do not really mind, at the end of day I am still able to finish and be on track.

Girl D further pushed back our rescheduled date, I am lazy to deal with this until further notice.

How did things end up like this? Am I a bad person now?
*
Do share your steps TS on how you going to tackle Girl G other than jokes and thoughtful gifts. Is there any timeline prepared to win her mind and heart in these upcoming few weeks or months? Okay, I understand looks are subjective, compared to Girl G and Girl E, Girl G is the prettiest I assume? Anyway, I advise you to keep Girl E for contingency purposes scared your endeavor with Girl G failed to yield positive results.

Girl F should have listened to Tame Impala, The Less I(TS) Know The Better. Honesty is not always the best policy xD. I wonder if TS doesn't know her past, would TS choose Girl F? Since TS and Girl F have already envisioned a future together as a family. Back to reality with Girl F, yeah her high body count makes you wonder how to remain fidelity after marriage. But in the Chinese realm, is it normal to discuss this sort of thing? All and all, do update us TS at regular interval, and thanks for stopping by on my thread too
TSAshenOne
post Jul 4 2022, 08:16 PM

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QUOTE(K0MR4DE @ Jul 4 2022, 10:35 AM)
Do share your steps TS on how you going to tackle Girl G other than jokes and thoughtful gifts. Is there any timeline prepared to win her mind and heart in these upcoming few weeks or months? Okay, I understand looks are subjective, compared to Girl G and Girl E, Girl G is the prettiest I assume? Anyway, I advise you to keep Girl E for contingency purposes scared your endeavor with Girl G failed to yield positive results.

Girl F should have listened to Tame Impala, The Less I(TS) Know The Better. Honesty is not always the best policy xD. I wonder if TS doesn't know her past, would TS choose Girl F? Since TS and Girl F have already envisioned a future together as a family. Back to reality with Girl F, yeah her high body count makes you wonder how to remain fidelity after marriage. But in the Chinese realm, is it normal to discuss this sort of thing? All and all, do update us TS at regular interval, and thanks for stopping by on my thread too
*
I am just going to be passively involved in my pursue of Girl G, too obvious will of course backfires, she is right inside the team itself, many pair of eyes watching.
I will just sneak in some progress when there is a chance, through the little interactions here and there.
Yes she is pretty and in very good shape, never seen anything like that before.

More or less I already know what her past looks like, but to get further confirmation from her solidifies my assumption.
I will not go serious with her, with or without the honesty.

Set aside the fidelity thing, the fact that she can just try it with some random guy for the sake of trying, you get what I mean?
There is not even any barrier or resistance, it's good to remain as bed buddy, but marriage? The thought of her getting screwed so many times by many people... it's just... no.
In Chinese realm it is divided into 2 categories, 1 is value virginity a lot, another 1 is already accepted the fact it's close to impossible to find a virgin.
Most will not discuss it and they already accepted likely no more virginity, those who talk about it values it, and I bet they will eventually accept this is a futile attempt.
Most girls lost it as soon as age 15, or even earlier. What about Malay realm?
Takudan
post Jul 5 2022, 01:20 AM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ Jul 4 2022, 12:23 AM)
I felt somewhat terrible, I have 2 gf now, Girl E & F.
I do not feel anything in my heart, I am just going through the motions, they are going to be disappointed if they find this out...

...

How did things end up like this? Am I a bad person now?
*
Why are you even surprised?

You "pursued" 7 girls at the fucking same time, literally labelling them A-G. Regardless of their interest, you led every single one of them on, and some fell for your bait.

Then you happily accepted TWO as gf, although you could've chosen to reject one, or both, considering your attraction towards ANOTHER.

Now you come to forum to ask how did it happened?

If you want to swing or have open relationships, just say it upfront to these ladies, don't hurt them with your lies.
If you don't have balls to reject someone, then commit one at a time so you won't be in a dilemma.

You're playing with fire, and soon you'll have to change your job because drama explosion with you as the main character. It won't be long before both your gf in the same office finds out each other.

Boy I'm just waiting for your next thread to complain about life and women. 🍿🍿
K0MR4DE
post Jul 5 2022, 11:11 AM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Jul 5 2022, 01:20 AM)
If you want to swing or have open relationships, just say it upfront to these ladies, don't hurt them with your lies.
If you don't have balls to reject someone, then commit one at a time so you won't be in a dilemma.

You're playing with fire, and soon you'll have to change your job because drama explosion with you as the main character. It won't be long before both your gf in the same office finds out each other.
*
You're right, I forgot TS is acquainted with most of the ladies at his office. I am intrigued by your statement "commit one at a time". I think you have read my thread too, so just want to share my experience. When I state my intention that I'm getting serious with my girl, one of my Pak Cik/Uncle advised me to try at least get to know and mingle with five girls. Obviously, I don't heed his advice as you have read my thread haha. Just curious, what is the ladies' point of view on this matter? Have your friends/family suggested that you try and mingle with more than one guy? In the Malay realm, there's a saying "Salah pilih suami, hidup merana" if direct translation means, choose the wrong husband your life will be in hell.

Okay back to TS, I think time to close the gap. Scared later rumors spread like wildfire, gossiping here and there in the office. I'm not sure if there's a fraternization policy practiced in Malaysia. Girl E or Girl G. Hopefully, TS will find the right partner between this two.

QUOTE(AshenOne @ Jul 4 2022, 08:16 PM)
In Chinese realm it is divided into 2 categories, 1 is value virginity a lot, another 1 is already accepted the fact it's close to impossible to find a virgin.
Most will not discuss it and they already accepted likely no more virginity, those who talk about it values it, and I bet they will eventually accept this is a futile attempt.
Most girls lost it as soon as age 15, or even earlier. What about Malay realm?
*
In the Malay realm, it's super taboo to discuss virginity. There's also a Malay saying, "Lelaki yang baik, tidak akan soal kisah silam perempuan", if direct translation a good man won't question the girl past history. I neither agree nor disagree with this statement, because the girl may be manipulated in the past causing her to lose her virginity or she has a wild history back in her younger days (this type, I would be very cautious). This is the part where honesty may or may not be the best policy. Similar to the Chinese realm, it is divided into two schools of thought; 1) Conservative 2) Liberal. But then again, woman nowadays is super active, and losing one's virginity due to sport or work can be also a factor.

Virginity is such a sensitive topic in the Malay realm until some took advantage of selling some traditional herbs that claimed to tighten the vagina. Jamu Mak Dara, Kacip Fatimah, Herba Perapat, with ads promoting "seperti anak dara"/like a virgin if taking this herb supplement to name a few. Walao! A lengthy introduction, okay back to your question TS. I'm not sure what are the statistics, but most Malay girl loses their virginity when they married. I know a minority of Malay girl loses their virginity way younger. Mostly they protect it for their spouse.

In the Chinese realm, is doing the snu snu signal that the men are ready to commit to the girl? In the Malay realm, if the guy took the girl's virginity, the girl will take this as a signal that the guy is ready to commit to her and high chance wouldn't leave the guy. That's why you see Malay girls become depressed if their lover abandoned them after taking their virginity.

This post has been edited by K0MR4DE: Jul 5 2022, 12:13 PM
Daprind
post Jul 5 2022, 06:18 PM

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Wah.. did not expect TS to go towards 渣男 attitude. Suggest you to cut ties with your two gfs if you have no interest on them. This is no longer an act of fate as per what you claimed earlier by pursuing all the goddamn single girl whenever chance strikes.

I am never against player, but please, don't go and break all these innocent girls heart by courting them simultaneously. That's wrong.

Cheap tactics tend to attract cheap chicks. I won't be surprise if I get to see your next deteriorate story on girl G. haha.
pub_yu
post Jul 5 2022, 07:37 PM

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So you like E because you felt the satisfaction of finally getting her to warm up with you and not as cold?

Let me guess, you will keep F going since you can get the secks easily
J1g54w
post Jul 6 2022, 10:08 PM

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QUOTE(Daprind @ Jul 5 2022, 06:18 PM)
Wah.. did not expect TS to go towards 渣男 attitude. Suggest you to cut ties with your two gfs if you have no interest on them. This is no longer an act of fate as per what you claimed earlier by pursuing all the goddamn single girl whenever chance strikes.

I am never against player, but please, don't go and break all these innocent girls heart by courting them simultaneously. That's wrong.

Cheap tactics tend to attract cheap chicks. I won't be surprise if I get to see your next deteriorate story on girl G. haha.
*
/k got many 渣男 it's not unusual
TSAshenOne
post Jul 10 2022, 09:15 PM

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My approach now has been very different compared to the past.
I do text my girl daily in the past, with the intention of actively maintain the relationship.
But now, I do not do that anymore, I only text when necessary, ie: to set up a date.
Or maybe... I did not love her as much, which caused me to not try to actively maintain it...

Girl F is cool and we can not text each other for many days until a date needs to be set up. I bet meanwhile she is entertained by many other males, the guys love to approach her because of her big chest size, all wanting a piece of the action, and I am not concerned at all. I will just enjoy the ride while things last.

Girl E will be coming to my working area for dinner, it is a last minute notice and I am not so comfortable with it, what if my colleagues spotted us? I will take her to another branch of the same restaurant to lower the chance of colleague encounter. I still want to maintain my single image in my own company.

Last night I just had a dream seeing multiple girls appear at my workplace and making a scene, showing me the worse case scenario, is it a warning? After I woke up, I feel like I am playing with fire if I keep this up, I hope the worse case don't end up become true.
TSAshenOne
post Jul 10 2022, 09:32 PM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Jul 5 2022, 01:20 AM)
Why are you even surprised?

You "pursued" 7 girls at the fucking same time, literally labelling them A-G. Regardless of their interest, you led every single one of them on, and some fell for your bait.

Then you happily accepted TWO as gf, although you could've chosen to reject one, or both, considering your attraction towards ANOTHER.

Now you come to forum to ask how did it happened?

If you want to swing or have open relationships, just say it upfront to these ladies, don't hurt them with your lies.
If you don't have balls to reject someone, then commit one at a time so you won't be in a dilemma.

You're playing with fire, and soon you'll have to change your job because drama explosion with you as the main character. It won't be long before both your gf in the same office finds out each other.

Boy I'm just waiting for your next thread to complain about life and women. 🍿🍿
*
I was once a person who committed to only one, a few years back I had a choice of having two at the same time, I end up choosing the one that I preferred and kinda shut down the other one.
After things gone sour with the chosen one after the sparks faded, I regretted my decision to close off the other one, because I cannot simply go back to her, and I promised myself I will not let that happen again, it's silly and foolish to cut myself off of my backup plans. Now do not get mad at me, women are expert in keeping many backups if things do not work out, most breakups initiate by women and they are very certain of that decision and will not turn back, because they found the backup, just like you comfortably resign from previous company because you secured an offer in another better company.

Another thing is, both gf not from same company, unless they come to office.
The ill wishing of someone at the end of your reply seems unnecessary.

QUOTE(K0MR4DE @ Jul 5 2022, 11:11 AM)
You're right, I forgot TS is acquainted with most of the ladies at his office. I am intrigued by your statement "commit one at a time". I think you have read my thread too, so just want to share my experience. When I state my intention that I'm getting serious with my girl, one of my Pak Cik/Uncle advised me to try at least get to know and mingle with five girls. Obviously, I don't heed his advice as you have read my thread haha. Just curious, what is the ladies' point of view on this matter? Have your friends/family suggested that you try and mingle with more than one guy? In the Malay realm, there's a saying "Salah pilih suami, hidup merana" if direct translation means, choose the wrong husband your life will be in hell. 

Okay back to TS, I think time to close the gap. Scared later rumors spread like wildfire, gossiping here and there in the office. I'm not sure if there's a fraternization policy practiced in Malaysia. Girl E or Girl G. Hopefully, TS will find the right partner between this two.
In the Malay realm, it's super taboo to discuss virginity. There's also a Malay saying, "Lelaki yang baik, tidak akan soal kisah silam perempuan", if direct translation a good man won't question the girl past history. I neither agree nor disagree with this statement, because the girl may be manipulated in the past causing her to lose her virginity or she has a wild history back in her younger days (this type, I would be very cautious). This is the part where honesty may or may not be the best policy. Similar to the Chinese realm, it is divided into two schools of thought; 1) Conservative 2) Liberal. But then again, woman nowadays is super active, and losing one's virginity due to sport or work can be also a factor.

Virginity is such a sensitive topic in the Malay realm until some took advantage of selling some traditional herbs that claimed to tighten the vagina. Jamu Mak Dara, Kacip Fatimah, Herba Perapat, with ads promoting "seperti anak dara"/like a virgin if taking this herb supplement to name a few. Walao! A lengthy introduction, okay back to your question TS. I'm not sure what are the statistics, but most Malay girl loses their virginity when they married. I know a minority of Malay girl loses their virginity way younger. Mostly they protect it for their spouse.

In the Chinese realm, is doing the snu snu signal that the men are ready to commit to the girl? In the Malay realm, if the guy took the girl's virginity, the girl will take this as a signal that the guy is ready to commit to her and high chance wouldn't leave the guy. That's why you see Malay girls become depressed if their lover abandoned them after taking their virginity.
*
In Chinese realm, doing the bed stuffs is super common, and does not mean anything. I once thought by getting her to bed will mean we both will commit to one another, but she can just leave me easily once she found a better guy, so going to bed do not mean anything, and most lose it as soon as age 15, god knows how high is their body count by the time you met them at around age 20+, I'd be surprised if I find a virgin, which so far I didn't.

QUOTE(Daprind @ Jul 5 2022, 06:18 PM)
Wah.. did not expect TS to go towards 渣男 attitude. Suggest you to cut ties with your two gfs if you have no interest on them. This is no longer an act of fate as per what you claimed earlier by pursuing all the goddamn single girl whenever chance strikes.

I am never against player, but please, don't go and break all these innocent girls heart by courting them simultaneously. That's wrong.

Cheap tactics tend to attract cheap chicks. I won't be surprise if I get to see your next deteriorate story on girl G. haha.
*
What do you mean by cheap tactics? And you contradict yourself, player will inevitably break hearts and it is wrong, at the same time you claimed you are not against player...
ahjummma
post Jul 10 2022, 10:07 PM

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ashenone is it normal for guys to have backup plan? the girls you are dating not suspecting anything? unsure.gif
TSAshenOne
post Jul 10 2022, 10:28 PM

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QUOTE(ahjummma @ Jul 10 2022, 10:07 PM)
ashenone is it normal for guys to have backup plan? the girls you are dating not suspecting anything? unsure.gif
*
I can't speak for everyone, some have some don't, but if want to compare, girls manage backups significantly better than guys, based on experience & observation.
Girls will say those guys are just friends, something along the lines "girls can have normal guy friends too". When things taking a bad turn at their own relationship, often times they turn to the so called "just friends" guys, in some cases feelings started to sprout between them and eventually lead to cheating, and yet girls can properly justify the cheating and blame it on the bf, happens all the time and everywhere.

Some girls do have clear boundaries and stop the guy friends at the friendzone level, because she is aware she is attached and need to commit, met a few of these girls too.

Ultimately, it comes down to, if A found something they want in B, if yes, they would cheat and go for B. If A stops B from advancing, it simply means B do not possess the key criteria A is looking for.
Guys with a lot of money to pamper, can easily sway the girl and snatch her over.
Life_House
post Jul 10 2022, 11:12 PM

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Do you mind share more on why you afraid of letting colleagues know you're dating?

How about some day you finally commit in a relationship, and would you still want to avoid being known of your attached status?

And if if your future committed gf is very concerned about this, what would you do?

Btw, I think your dream hinted you something smile.gif



This post has been edited by Life_House: Jul 10 2022, 11:13 PM
TSAshenOne
post Jul 11 2022, 12:30 AM

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QUOTE(Life_House @ Jul 10 2022, 11:12 PM)
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


Do you mind share more on why you afraid of letting colleagues know you're dating?

How about some day you finally commit in a relationship, and would you still want to avoid being known of your attached status?

And if if your future committed gf is very concerned about this, what would you do?

Btw, I think your dream hinted you something smile.gif
*
It is clear I have an interest in getting someone I really like in my workplace, and inside the Co there are plenty which are my cup of tea.
Those who got into the Co are more or less at the same capability and intellectual with me, they would understand the deeper words that I use, and also not so reliant on me for finances, they're also very well maintained too, their shape I meant.

If one day I really found the one I want to commit with, I would still be kind of reluctant to announce it, personally I prefer to keep relationship private and not to show off to everyone.
Those who show off in social media broke up at some point, there is a saying "the more you show the love, the faster it ends". I had done so in the past, not long after my own relationship went to shit, after that I promised myself not to put in social media again.

I am fine though if the "attached status" is known but who is the GF is not known, this way I can't be sabotaged if they don't know who she is.
TSAshenOne
post Jul 12 2022, 10:55 PM

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I was pleasantly surprised by receiving a gift I have long wanted, from Girl E.
On top of that, she also voluntarily paid for dinner this time, and wore an appealing outfit showcasing her figure. Our interaction also moved to next level, we're getting more comfortable with each other now.

Maybe I should just end this circus and stick to Girl E? My rational mind thought.

However my ambitious mind thought I should just keep gathering experiences until I had my fill, if not, deep down will feel like I have not achieved my potential and have unfinished business left.

It's a really tough dilemma.
Life_House
post Jul 12 2022, 11:58 PM

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Maybe you can ponder on these points, listen to your heart, and dilemma maybe no more, or less :

- You want a girl whose characters soft like a sheep, whom you can “protect” --- in terms of financially, her well beings in the rest of her life, when she get bullied... Etc ?

- Or, you want a girl who's at about the same level of compentency as you -- intellectual, survivor skills in society, very independent, not much need your protection, strategic mind... etc, so that she can assist to boost your career in future, on top of her role as your future life partner?

- You want, when it comes to conflict management between you and her, a girl who always need you pujuk her ?

- Or, a girl who can equally always soul searching herself and take turns to pujuk each other and try to always improve the way each other communicate ?

- You want a girl who will equally cherish for who you are despite any of your weakness, because she amplify your strength, and keep trying not giving you up?

- Or, a girl who is otherwise from above




Pewufod
post Jul 13 2022, 09:25 AM

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walao this sasuke and his fiction again
green_algae
post Jul 13 2022, 03:25 PM

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QUOTE(Pewufod @ Jul 13 2022, 09:25 AM)
walao this sasuke and his fiction again
*
Now that you mentioned it, I kinda see the pattern.
dattebayo
post Jul 25 2022, 11:26 AM

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half the month has passed

so what's the update
TSAshenOne
post Jul 25 2022, 07:39 PM

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QUOTE(dattebayo @ Jul 25 2022, 11:26 AM)
half the month has passed

so what's the update
*
Lazy, I am only getting negative attentions, some of the replies I don't even understand but I can feel the hostility.

Anyway, now it's really down to that 2 GF, the one I slept with I intend to stop using her and let her go, from what I know she like me a lot and expect us to make many progress in the future, sadly I cannot accept her high body count, it's naive to expect me to settle down with her after all she went through, I earn a good living and want someone better suit my criteria, I didn't come this far just to settle with a girl like her.

Another GF, we grow more fond of each other the more times we meet up, lost count how many weeks already, I think it can be measured by using few months?
The only thing she is still resisting is the sleeping part, not a strong resistance, but enough for me to stop and perhaps try another day.

The rest, same old, nothing changed, just further on the same track that it has already been in.
Daprind
post Jul 25 2022, 08:07 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ Jul 25 2022, 07:39 PM)
Lazy, I am only getting negative attentions, some of the replies I don't even understand but I can feel the hostility.

Anyway, now it's really down to that 2 GF, the one I slept with I intend to stop using her and let her go, from what I know she like me a lot and expect us to make many progress in the future, sadly I cannot accept her high body count, it's naive to expect me to settle down with her after all she went through, I earn a good living and want someone better suit my criteria, I didn't come this far just to settle with a girl like her.

Another GF, we grow more fond of each other the more times we meet up, lost count how many weeks already, I think it can be measured by using few months?
The only thing she is still resisting is the sleeping part, not a strong resistance, but enough for me to stop and perhaps try another day.

The rest, same old, nothing changed, just further on the same track that it has already been in.
*
So after you "successfully" be in the same bed with girl E, are you going to dumb her like girl F?

See, this is your problem boy.. back to your question on why my statement is contradict to each other? If you want to play, just go for ONS or FWB. Don't shield behind "I wanna look for serious relationship" for that optimal goal. Using women as a "free" sex tools in 2022, topkek la you.

I hope that someday when you have your own daughter, pray hard she doesn't meet someone like you..

This post has been edited by Daprind: Jul 25 2022, 08:08 PM
scyther
post Jul 26 2022, 10:12 AM

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at first, you seems looking for some long term relationship
later in middle of thread you sound like a play boy
finally after bed with Girl F, you dislike her due to she is play girl

now you complaining Girl E dont want to bed with you

all i want to say is leave Gril E alone, dont ruin her, go to another place to play
butterkijen
post Jul 26 2022, 04:23 PM

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just what the fuck is wrong with you lmao this thread just gave me massive brain aneurysm
budakbaik1310
post Jul 28 2022, 09:48 AM

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now it looks like you are just looking for a girl to sleep with lol.
seriously, what are you even looking for in your "so-called" relationship?
feeling? sex? trophy girl? or you just want to mess around and sleep with every girl you attracted with?
lopo90
post Jul 28 2022, 12:51 PM

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QUOTE(Pewufod @ Jul 13 2022, 09:25 AM)
walao this sasuke and his fiction again
*
Oh. No wonder I don't see him lately

Change user name liao
novblaze
post Jul 29 2022, 11:44 AM

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Maybe you are thinking too much
Thays why got so many problems to solve.
TSAshenOne
post Aug 8 2022, 09:34 PM

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Bedded Girl E, I am her 3rd guy, I didn't expect a twist like this, all is well, just one thing I am not too sure, she made a lot of noise and it is loud, is it normal?

I just let it die for Girl F, after 2 weeks she got the hint and moved on, continue showing her figure online, attracting other guys as usual.

Found out Girl G has a bf during company dinner, bummer. In my team mostly all not available except 1, call her Girl H, I view her as on par with Girl G, but different kind of good quality. She claimed to be single, but I have doubts about it, I saw flowers delivered to her desk one day, could be her secret bf or pursuer, not going to think too much about it, not going to take action too, I am a bit lazy now.

Girl I newly joined the team not long ago, her face reminded me of my Ex that destroyed my reputation in my Ex Company. She is pretty regardless, I left a good impression during the lunch with her, let's see if something good brews down the road.

Girl A, I can see she is getting more and more comfortable with me, starting to show silly face when I need her for something work-related. I think I will be next in line if one day she is finally single again, but I don't know when, I am not wishing her ill, if it happens, then it happens, not going to sweat about our end outcome.
Daprind
post Aug 9 2022, 04:22 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ Jul 4 2022, 12:23 AM)
Girl E is a slow warming type, and she recently warmed up to me a lot, started to hold hands & her waist with no push backs. She lives in her own world without outside connections, I am the only one who goes out with her, in other times she would just spend with family or watch dramas. I like her enough, but not enough for me to fall head over heels for her.
*
QUOTE(AshenOne @ Aug 8 2022, 09:34 PM)
Bedded Girl E, I am her 3rd guy, I didn't expect a twist like this, all is well, just one thing I am not too sure, she made a lot of noise and it is loud, is it normal?

I just let it die for Girl F, after 2 weeks she got the hint and moved on, continue showing her figure online, attracting other guys as usual.

Found out Girl G has a bf during company dinner, bummer. In my team mostly all not available except 1, call her Girl H, I view her as on par with Girl G, but different kind of good quality. She claimed to be single, but I have doubts about it, I saw flowers delivered to her desk one day, could be her secret bf or pursuer, not going to think too much about it, not going to take action too, I am a bit lazy now.

Girl I newly joined the team not long ago, her face reminded me of my Ex that destroyed my reputation in my Ex Company. She is pretty regardless, I left a good impression during the lunch with her, let's see if something good brews down the road.

Girl A, I can see she is getting more and more comfortable with me, starting to show silly face when I need her for something work-related. I think I will be next in line if one day she is finally single again, but I don't know when, I am not wishing her ill, if it happens, then it happens, not going to sweat about our end outcome.
*
TSAshenOne
post Aug 9 2022, 05:01 PM

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QUOTE(Daprind @ Aug 9 2022, 04:22 PM)

*
Yes as I indicated, I wasn't expecting that, she does have very limited connections. Her previous two ex met online, the same way she met me. They asked her out and she didn't let her parents know, her first time was around 17, wow.

You can never know someone enough just by her habits, routine, and personality. I am not complaining, virgin basically non existent nowadays and I accepted that and didn't feel anything when I found out. It was a fun day that day, but can you answer what's with her constant loud moaning though? Is it a girl thing during fun times?

 

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